IELNDMH - Chapter 46 < I Want Your Heart Back >
I Ended Up Living Up Next Door With My Ex-Husband
"Instead of giving it over, there are conditions."
Condition? What conditions are you talking about?
While I was swallowing, Cedric's lips slowly opened again.
"I want you to keep your distance from Adrian."
With Adrian? Why......?
Cedric let out a short breath as he looked at me with puzzled eyes.
"If you stay close to Adrian and there is even a misunderstanding between the two, wouldn't it be possible for the fact that we divorced to become known?"
That was something that Cedric, who was in the same boat as me, had enough to worry about. I nodded slowly and continued speaking.
"I see. I couldn't even think about it that far."
"......."
"I will do as you say."
A satisfied smile slowly spread across Cedric's lips. But that was only for a moment.
"Until our divorce is announced and I leave this castle."
The smile on the tip of Cedric's lips quickly faded as I continued to say those words. It seemed like a look of nervousness flashed across his face.
Cedric was silent for a while, only licking his lips. It was sometime later that his lips opened again.
"...... Rebecca, that's what I'm talking about."
His low voice rang softly in my ears again.
"How about coming back to the Mansion of Light?"
***
"..... To the light mansion?"
Cedric slowly nodded his head in response to my question.
"Yes. Because you are bound to encounter Adrian often in the dark mansion."
"... "
"...Vincent Norman, that crazy guy also bothers me."
I was silent for a while after he finished speaking. When I didn't come up with an answer, Cedric's eyebrows arched, drawing a tall mountain. It seemed like he wanted to urge me on the inside.
".... Because it was such a sudden proposal."
I finally stopped crying and slowly continued speaking again.
"But it's really surprising. If it were me, I couldn't believe you, would suggest something like this."
At that moment, Cedric's face darkened slightly. He seemed to have misunderstood that I was still blaming him for something from the past.
"Don't misunderstand that I said this because I was surprised because it was such an unexpected offer."
"......"
"I didn't say that out of disappointment for you. There are no such feelings left."
There were no feelings of love or hate towards Cedric at all. That may have been the Rebecca of the past, but it's not something I would feel now.
'I keep getting worried about Cedric without even realizing it...'
That's not love-hate.
However, upon hearing my answer, Cedric looked troubled, as if a thorn had stuck in his mouth. He bit his lower lip and remained silent, before finally opening his mouth.
"I have been indifferent to you for a long time, no..."
"...."
"I admit that I acted coldly to the point of being cruel."
Cedric slightly loosened his tie in frustration and muttered softly to himself
."...... Yes. It's something I have no choice but to admit now."
The blue gaze that had been staring at the wine glass for a long time turned to me again.
"I have misunderstood you all along. And now I know."
"..."
"It was my indifference that made you like that."
Shallow waves rose above the blue eyes that were looking at me. Cedric's eyes and voice. Deep sincerity was evident in all of it.
'...... If the old Rebecca had heard those words, how happy would she have been?'
I thought that way for a moment. But unfortunately, I was not the Rebecca I used to be. And what Cedric thought was a 'misunderstanding' was not a misunderstanding either.
The previous Rebecca, not me......
Because she was truly a terrible villain. Is that why?
As much as he was harmed by Rebecca in the past, I thought it was unfair to place unnecessary guilt on Cedric. In a way, isn't Cedric one of the people who was hurt by Rebecca?
I looked at Cedric blankly and slowly removed my lips from his.
"Misunderstanding, no."
"...."
"It's not like I was that vicious because of you. My mistakes in the past were solely my own, and there is no room for excuses."
"Rebecca......."
"But I really appreciate you thinking so much about me."
I paused for a moment to catch my breath.
"So, don't feel more guilty than necessary towards me, who is now just an ex-wife."
"...."
"And I really appreciate the offer to come back, but......."
And once again, I spoke in a soft but firm tone.
"I have no intention of returning to the Mansion of Light."
Cedric blinked slowly as if he had been slightly shocked by my words. There was an awkward silence for a while. What finally came out of Cedric's lips was a question that was completely uncharacteristic of him.
"Why?"
I blinked slowly while looking at him. It was because I never thought that Cedric would ask the reason. If I just refuse, they say, "It's unfortunate, but I can't help it."
I thought he would back down.
'I thought I understood Cedric's reaction to some extent... Was I too complacent?'
I looked at Cedric again, trying hard to hide my embarrassment.
"From the beginning, the terms of our contract were separate."
Although I said it as if it was obvious, Cedric firmly shook his head.
"I'm not interested in such contracts anymore. What matters to me is your intention."
The answers that followed in succession were also uncharacteristic of Cedric. In the end. I had no choice but to tilt my head openly.
"But I'm more comfortable now. Unlike here, many people who use the Dark Mansion follow me."
When I finally answered, rolling my eyes with a puzzled expression, Cedric opened his mouth as if he had been waiting.
"If it's because of the servants, you don't have to worry. If they make you uncomfortable, I won't leave them alone."
"Because of me...... Mixed race demon users?"
No matter who the mixed-race demon was, he was the one who cared for them like his own family. Cedric is willing to punish mixed-blood demons for the sake of the person he hated?
I looked at Cedric with bewildered eyes and immediately shook my head.
"No. Then they'll hate me even more. You can't do that."
I had no desire to be hated the mixed-race demons anymore. Cedric touched his eyebrows with a troubled expression at my firm attitude.
"Then what about Bianca?"
"Why Bianca?"
"You know that child is eagerly waiting for you to return to the Mansion of Light."
When Bianca's story came up, I was speechless. Of course, my desire to grant Bianca's wish was like a chimney. But that adorable child was the biggest reason why I didn't want to return to the Mansion of Light.
Before I knew it, the contract period was almost over, and I was the one who had to leave this castle when the period ended. I couldn't deceive young Blanca and torture her with hope.
"Even if I return to the Mansion of Light for Bianca, I can only spend a few months with her."
I tried to speak calmly.
"If we build up more affection here for no reason and I leave this castle...... Bianca will have a harder time."
When I thought of Bianca, a part of my heart sank heavily. I let out a mixed breath and then frowned.
'Cedric, why are you acting like this all of a sudden?'
As for me, I couldn't figure out why Cedric's mood changed so suddenly. It was Cedric who suggested separation in the first place, before announcing his divorce. Of course, we've maintained friendly relations since then...
Even so, isn't that a good reason to suggest living together again?
'It's not like they're holding on to me so persistently when I refuse the offer.'
At that point, Cedric's intentions became suspicious again. I found it a little bit disgusting that he was shaking my heart as if he was torturing my hopes for no reason.
"What is your intention in doing this all of a sudden?"
I asked half-questioningly. My eyes were probably half suspicious and half wary. Cedric stared at me without saying a word. For a long time. He let out a self-deprecating laugh with a slightly dark look on his face.
"Now it's really...... Our positions have been reversed."
Bitterness was evident in Cedric's voice as he spoke.
When I looked at him with a puzzled expression, he took a long breath and continued.
"This is the situation right now, where I'm clinging to you and you're suspicious of my intentions."
".... "
"It was the opposite the whole time we were married."
For a brief moment, Cedric's blue eyes, which were always relaxed, sank into silence.
"How did you feel at that time?"
"..."
"... I think I understand a little bit now."
That expression on his face is so uncharacteristically bitter. I tried to hide my embarrassment and at the same time, I thought of something to comfort him.
"Cedric, there's no need to think about that anymore."
"......."
"We're already divorced. After a few months, we won't be able to see each other anymore."
"......."
"So, now it's time to shake off the past......."
That was when I was about to continue speaking.
"I'm sorry to you, but I don't think I can do that anymore."
Cedric's tone was soft yet firm.
"I don't want to even think about brushing you off cleanly. Moreover, the thought of you leaving my castle in a few months...."
He paused for a moment and then spoke softly as if confessing his feelings.
"Sometimes it becomes unbearably painful."
Cedric slowly raised his head and looked at me again.
"I regret the moment I decided to divorce you. And until your heart leaves me... My foolishness in not knowing anything."
At that moment, I couldn't help but believe my ears.
'Regret...'
Was that a word that suited Cedric?
I blinked in disbelief. Cedric, who was looking at me like that, secretly mocked himself and continued speaking.
"I just realized that, but I can't lose you like this. So give me one last chance."
Before I knew it, deep sincerity had seeped into his blue eyes.
"Rebecca, I want your heart back."
Amazing words flowed from Cedric's lips one after another.
How much time has passed since I blinked blankly at an unrealistic situation?
My heart began to beat faster, little by little, and soon it began to envelop his entire body. From then on, I could hardly calm down. I tried to calm my mind and avoid the intense gaze watching me.
That means Cedric......
What I felt for a brief moment was a faint joy. And surprisingly, the next thing that passed by was 'fear'.
After coming to this world, I concentrated on my daily life to survive. No, I tried to. However, sometimes, in small, everyday situations, for example, before going to sleep, when lifting a teacup, or looking out the window, the pain would suddenly visit me.
In my past life, the moments when I whispered love to my husband and supported each other's dreams, and the days when I was able to rest my tired body and mind by relying on him. And what was hidden naturally in that peaceful daily life.....
Cruel truths.
Now, I feel disillusioned with the superficial relationship that hides secrets from each other and sings of love as lightly as a parrot.
'I don't even want to start a relationship like that.'
Because I don't want to get hurt anymore.
A place where countless thoughts passed by like flashes of light. The excitement caused by Cedric's confession had already calmed down. I took a sip of tea, slowly put the tea cup down, and continued.
"Duke Bold said something strange."
"...."
"It was a day that came suddenly."
I parted my lips again as I looked at Cedric, who was silently waiting for my story to continue.
"Lillian's heart, what is that?"
A look of confusion flashed across Cedric's face at my question. Of course, it was as expected. But at that moment, maybe I was secretly desperate.
"For me too...... Can you tell me?"
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