ICTV - Chapter 46

ICTV - Chapter 46

I Changed The Villain

No matter how unsightly it is, is hope still hope? Either that or… 

My heart ached again. Unfamiliar pain and unfamiliar feelings. Normally, I would have liked it because it was refreshing, but now it felt like I was just caught doing something bad. 

I tried to focus on my book again. Not a single word was read. Instead, only Belial's face flickered.

"I'm going crazy."

I feel like I went back to my high school days when I kept a vocabulary book to memorize words while eating, but I was so caught up in eating that I didn't even open the book. I eventually closed the book.

“We have arrived, miss.”

Next time, I guess I won't just bring books. 

I got off the carriage, holding a bouquet of roses. As soon as the carriage left, I felt the presence of guards.

“I don’t know what kind of precious person you are, but...”

“I can’t believe you made all the effort to come here at this late hour without contacting me.”

Jeez. The guards ended their speech in a temperate but sharp manner, as befits members of the Serenity family.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

I said without surprise.

"Sorry. I came here without thinking.”

There was silence for a moment. The guards, who couldn't even see my face because it was dark, immediately knelt down.

"Sorry. Miss Rose.”

“I committed a mortal sin. Please forgive my rudeness.”

“No, it’s okay, get up.”

“As expected, you have a big heart. Thank you."

I feel like I went to the brink of hell and finally came back. The security guards sighed.

“You came alone without even a maid. It looks like you have some really urgent business to do.”

“We got to the front of the mansion…”

The security guard suggested to me, then trailed off.

“There’s no need for that.”

"What?"

"Rose?"

I turned my head. Beyond the front door made of iron bars, Belial stood. I and Belial looked at each other for a while.

***

“I didn’t expect you to come visit me this late.”

“I didn’t know you’d be out this late, either.”

Belial asked to go inside, but I shook my head. Belial took off his cloak and laid it on the floor. I also took off the shawl she was wearing on my shoulders and laid it on the floor. There was silence between the two. The two looked at each other

At the same time, they opened their mouths.

“I’m fine.”

“I’m fine too.”

There was silence again between the two. In the end, Belial sat on my shawl, and I also sat on Belial's robe. As soon as I sat down, I showed off my bouquet of roses. Belial's eyes immediately showed life.

“What is this? Who did you get it from?”

"..."

Belial did not think that I would give it to him even if he died.

Belial was completely enraged when he discovered that the length of the rose branch in the bouquet was jagged.

“I will take care of it right away. I don't think it was made by a professional. How can it be so shabby...!"

“I made it.”

“You can be full of personality and be beautiful without doing anything, right? As expected, Rose. There's really nothing you can't say. By the way, Rose. Wait a minute, wait a minute, Rose. I was wrong. Don't take it back. I’m asking you this, please.”

Me and Belial had a light scuffle, pulling the bouquet towards them. I should have just ordered it from the flower shop. I can't even make it well but for no reason... 

Then Belial's face came into view. Belial was looking at the bouquet with truly earnest eyes.

What good is this? It's a shabby gift that can't even be compared to what you've given me so far.

My hand naturally lost strength. Belial hugged the bouquet tightly as if he would never let it go again. Belial asked again and again.

"Did you really make this? To give that to me too?”

"y5es. I made it for you.”

"Oh my God..."

Belial looked down at the bouquet blankly and then paused.

“But why are you suddenly giving me this?”

When an indifferent lover suddenly gives you a gift, you become anxious. The Rose Belial knew was never the type of person to make or give something like this as a gift.

Belial's eyes became increasingly cloudy. Come to think of it, he once saw a man at a party. A nobleman who had committed an affair gave his wife a necklace as a gift. 

The wife did not know anything and was happy as she hung the necklace around her neck. Maybe this bouquet...

Belial's eyes became cloudy.

“Hey, Belial.”

"Rose."

Belial said, holding the bouquet with all the preciousness in the world.

“If anyone else but me sees you start coming in, please don't hide it and let me know that person's name right away. It’s all the fault of the person who seduced you, so I’ll handle it cleanly.”

"..."

At this point, I couldn't help but feel sorry. I must have been so indifferent all this time to be this anxious over just a bouquet of flowers. I shook my head.

"No. The reason for giving the bouquet was... To a certain extent..."

“To what extent?”

"..."

It's even more suspicious because you trail off the words. Belial spoke in a somewhat kind tone.

"I'm okay. Why am I angry with you? I told you. I said it was him who was at fault. Now, if you don't mind, please tell me his name... .”

“It’s not like that.”

Belial's cheeks slowly heated up. So, to what extent is it really for me? 

It was a moment when the arm holding the bouquet gained strength again.

“I didn’t think anything of it, but at some point it became uncomfortable.”

Oh, Belial almost dropped the bouquet. Belial asked calmly.

"...What?"

“It’s something I receive unilaterally from you.”

“I told you several times that you don’t have to feel pressured.”

I said clearly.

“It really bothered me.

"..."

What's the problem this time? 

Belial was so careful and careful. No matter how sensitive Rose was, there was no way she would have noticed hid true feelings. Belial clenched his fists.

“Is it my fault again?”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Then what is it for?”

"I don't know. I feel like my head is going to explode.”

Just like the question he had earlier, if he waits calmly for this feeling, there is a high probability that it will come to fruition someday. But I like this. Belial wants to know what emotions are now. It's okay to act impatient once in a while. My confidence soared. Although there was no evidence whatsoever, Rose trusted in that confidence.

“I never dreamed it would turn out like this.”

Belial listened to me in silence.

“I had no idea that you would be reformed like this, and much less that I would be like this. You think I am a person who is resolute and calm no matter what happens, but I am not that kind of person."

Rather, it's the opposite. I covered my face with her palms.

“I said it. I don’t want you to find out about me.”

Spice. Spices came to mind in this situation. There was a hole in one of the spice packets being transported to the kitchen. The hole, which had been as small as a needle's hole, grew bigger in an instant, and spices spilled all over the floor. There was no time to stop it. All I could do was stare in fascination until the spices ran out. My situation now was similar.

“I don’t care what happens to me, I’m just lost.”

"..."

“I’m just a frustrated and irritated person. I didn’t want you to know that forever.”

I took my hand away. I was crying. Without even knowing why I was crying.

“Where on earth did it go wrong?”

Since when you were reformed? From when you whispered to me that you loved me? Or since I started having these questions?

"You,"

Then Belial opened his mouth. It was hard to see because my vision was blurry, but Belial had been crying at some point. Like the day he said goodbye while holding out a yellow rose at a cafe.

“Since you approached me to kill me.”

Belial stood up. The bouquet eventually fell to the floor. I came to Belial, forgetting to breathe.

“It went wrong from then on.”

I thought Belial would just return to the mansion. But Belial did not leave me. He just gaped a few times, then got down on one knee again. 

Belial wiped away my tears with his fingers. Without even thinking about wiping away his own tears.

“I didn’t expect it either.”

I never thought I would end up like this. Belial and my faces came closer. The moment our lips got close enough to touch, Belial stopped. Belial looked into my turquoise eyes for a moment. I also had to look up into Belial's blue eyes.

“I told you, Rose.”

I still couldn't breathe properly. At first, I thought I was scared, but I wasn't.

“I know more than you think.”

It hurt. It hurt more than ever.

'Do not die. If you commit suicide, I will die too.'

I thought my heart would never hurt more than it did then. My body swayed. Belial reflexively hugged Rose.

"Rose? Rose?!"

I heard the heartbeat. A regular, warm heartbeat that a dead person can never forget. The last time Rose thought that the sound was exactly like a lullaby, I lost consciousness.

***

I was walking through a study in my dream. The endless bookshelves were filled with books, and the floor was littered with manuscripts. The names of Jihye and Rose were written alternately on the manuscript.

I stepped forward, trampling the manuscript with my shoe-clad feet. The more I trampled on the manuscript, the more ink dripped from the heels of my shoes, and it looked like blood.

However, there were things on the bookshelf that were not books. My steps stopped.

There was a family photo of Rose with a gold frame and a family photo of Jihye with a metal frame.

Without hesitation, I turned over Ji-hye's family photo. I, who felt much lighter, tried to move forward, trampling on the manuscript again but was unable to do so. The ink that fell from the shoe's heel gathered drop by drop and turned into a sticky swamp.

When did this happen?

I was so young that I didn't even care...! 

I struggled with all my might, but it was already too late. The swamp swallowed my body little by little.

Just before I disappeared into the swamp, someone grabbed my hand. A hand is so big that it can't even be compared to my hand. I knew right away whose hand it was.

“Belial?”

The moment I instinctively clasped my hands, a bright light appeared.

“Ugh...!”

I let out a short moan and opened my eyes. I saw something rising and falling regularly. What is that? 

I, who had just woken up from my sleep, touched my cheek with both hands even though I was out of my mind. It was very smooth without any mud. 

I still vividly remember the feeling of being out of breath, but was it really a dream? 

I lay still, cupping my cheek, and then stretched out my hand.

“Then what is this?”

When I put my hand between the open pieces of cloth, I felt warmth. I thought I would know what it was when I touched it, but I don't know anymore.

I moved my hands more boldly. It's soft, but it's also hard. Then someone called my name.

"Rose."

I froze. Probably not. Probably not. 

I slowly raised my gaze upward, denying it dozens of times. Belial was looking down while hugging me.

Well, then this couldn’t be…!

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