ICTV - Chapter 48
I Changed The Villain
"...Well. I don't know."
“At least pretend to think about it. It’s very easy.”
“You know I am stupid. I don’t know anything.”
“Aren’t you being too mean to yourself? Anyway, it's good. Let's get back to the point. What those two groups have in common is...”
Belial smiled brightly.
“It means they have the same goal.”
The former tried to rely on Belial's power to survive, while the latter stayed away from him to survive. I was the first person to approach Belial for death.
“I couldn’t help but be a little surprised. A person who looks like a flower on the outside can reveal such a dark will. I really can’t help but be interested in you, Rose?”
Belial stopped what he was saying. I was holding my head. I was reminded of General Yi Sun-sin’s gem of a quote.
They say that if you want to live, you will die, and if you want to die, you will live.
Shit!
I never dreamed that those words would apply in places other than battlefields. I complained.
“If I had known it would be like this, I would have just played the role of a greedy idiot who doesn’t even know the subject…!”
That kind of person is not a romantic fantasy. Even in other genres, you die first...!
The moment I, who had only thought about approaching Belial but had never even thought about it, fell into a swamp of self-reproach, Belial familiarly pulled me out of it.
“There is a saying that a person who has eaten meat knows its taste well, Rose. Do you really think you, who is thoughtless and free-spirited, can properly play such a person?”
“...I can’t refute that.”
“I'm sure you exposed a loophole, and that piqued my interest.
“I think so.”
“Are you saying something like that in the middle of this?”
“Then what should I say?”
Seeing Belial's truly curious face, I spoke in a voice the size of an ant.
“It means you are disappointed in me.”
“Um, Rose.”
Belial spoke with a serious expression
“Were you disappointed in me when I became possessive of you?”
“No. Anyway, I also approached the path of impure righteousness.”
"So do I."
Belial took my hand.
“I am not pure or noble enough to consider the entire motive and process.”
A strange heat appeared in his cool blue eyes.
“The only thing that matters to me is the result. Rose, please stop thinking about the past and just look at the reality in front of you.”
The feelings that were of interest when they first proposed meeting turned into love, and the two, who approached each other with impure intentions, even became engaged.
“Please stay with me. I love you.”
I did not shake off Belial's hand. Instead, I lowered my head and muttered.
“...You say you love me.”
Belial nodded immediately.
"Yes."
I asked, still with my head down.
“Do you love me?”
This time too, Belial answered immediately.
"Yes."
I burst out laughing. He said it so loudly that it made me wonder if he was the kind of person who usually has such an expressionless face. I even threw my head back and burst into laughter.
I lightly rubbed the area around my eyes with my other hand, which was not being held by Belial. I laughed so hard that tears came out.
“You love me who has denied and doubted your love countless times?”
A one-sided relationship can tire out even the most devoted person, and depressed feelings can rust even the most stubborn person.
“Belial. I'm not as good or pure as you think. I'm filled with petty emotions that you have never felt before. A person who is so tied down by something I cannot have that I will beg you to kill me. I’m sure you’re sick and tired of me.”
“I don’t think so.”
Belial is a gem-like person. It is always consistent and always dazzling. Unlike myself, who blooms for a moment like a rose and then fades for a moment. Until yesterday, I thought that attitude was great, but today I just got angry.
“Why are you so unable to understand people?”
By your side, you are as cool and brave as the female lead.
One person suits you, so why are you interested in a supporting character like me?
I shouted, shaking off Belial's hand.
“No matter how much you tell me, I can’t act like you! I can never properly repay your love! I will never know how to love someone like you or change for you!”
All I know is how to stay in one place. I sighed for a moment after saying those words. This is something I thought about countless times while scolding myself countless times
“If I can’t love myself right now, how can I love others?”
It was a fact that I did not want to be discovered by others, especially Belial. But when I actually said it out loud.
"... Rose."
I felt strangely relieved. I stared at Belial, still out of breath. Since I had nothing to hide, facing him was no longer uncomfortable. But, of course, the strangest thing is...
“You are the best person I know. You're a wise and kind person.”
The fact that Belial's attitude remains the same. I was really happy.
“I exist today thanks to you. So if I could just reach you, I could tell you hundreds and thousands of times. Even more so, if you give me permission, I can split this place.”
Belial placed my palm on his chest.
“I could show you how fast my heart is beating.”
There was no need to separate. Belial too. He could feel it. His heart is beating fast for Rose. Belial whispered into Rose’s ear.
“And I never get tired.”
Because it’s not a one-sided relationship. Rose's voice grew louder again.
“What is that…!”
“You claim you don’t know anything, but you don’t. You've already changed."
"Yes?"
“Think about it, Rose.”
Belial untied the pod he was wearing and placed his palms together with me.
“It’s a very small thing, but it makes you willing to do things you never would have done before.”
I was willing to give up what I liked the most, and although I was suddenly embarrassed to have physical contact, I felt good because it was so warm. When I couldn't refute anything, Belial's eyes widened as if he knew I would.
“That’s what has changed.”
“...But even if it’s trivial, it’s too trivial. How can you do something like that?”
"Rose. Didn't you definitely say that one day? No matter how small it is, something that has changed has changed. It takes tremendous courage and strength to decide to change.”
Belial asked with a truly curious expression.
“Why do you say such nice things to others, but only say such mean things to yourself? Don’t usually you put yourself first?”
A strong arm wrapped around my waist. Belial continued speaking while pulling me close to him.
“It’s really great to change for others. I know. Right now, I’m trying desperately to hide my old self.”
Is it because of my mood? Belial's face looked somewhat sad as he said that.
“I changed for you, but you shouldn’t.”
Belial's lips touched my forehead and then fell.
“Change for you, not for me.”
I had no choice but to ask those words.
“...Why are you so devoted to me?”
“I told you. I know more than you think.”
Belial ran his fingers through my hair.
“You don’t know too much about yourself, so let me tell you one more thing. You say you don’t love yourself.”
Belial shook his head a couple of times.
“I don’t think so at all.”
Thud.
An invisible stone fell on my head. Long eyelashes fluttered. For some reason, I got a lump in my throat. I immediately denied it.
“...That doesn’t make sense. If I really loved myself...”
“A murderer wouldn’t have even approached you?”
Belial chuckled.
“Rose, what do you think love is?”
Love has hundreds and thousands of characteristics, but if I were to name just a couple of them, they would be...
Belial murmured sweetly.
“No matter how pathetic that person behaves, you keep watching. Even if a person commits something that cannot be undone, he or she will no longer be in pain.”
That's love.
Belial relaxed his arms. And then he took a couple of steps back from me
"Rose. You hate yourself at the same time.”
Red and silver hair were fluttering in the gentle breeze. Belial nailed it, still in a sweet tone.
“You love yourself so much.”
If it's not love, it doesn't make sense. I feel sorry for myself.
However, I did not stop looking at myself, and willingly threw myself in front of the murderer that everyone feared, just because I did not want to live in pain anymore. I don't know why they chose me out of so many options, but that's not what's important right now.
“Lovely Rose. You will refuse to answer again, but I will ask you this time. If that's not love, what is?"
After asking that question, Belial turned his back. Leave me alone.
I stood there as if I was nailed to the ground, endlessly watching Belial's back as he walked away.
***
I remember a fight I had with my family not long before I died.
Before the college entrance exam, I said seriously that I wanted to write an application for the creative writing department
I fought because of that, but after the college entrance exam, I fought because I wasn't accepted to a better school.
This was a common occurrence in other homes as well. The kids in my class said that while they were upset because of their parents, they also felt sorry for themselves for not doing better. However, Ji-hye did not feel sorry for not being able to do better. I was just nervous.
Other parents at least had a genuine desire to do well for their beloved children beneath their barbed words, but Ji-hye's parents had none of that. They're just worried about my old age.
It was an established thing to say. In the House of Ji-Hye, daughters, especially the eldest daughter, were not children. It was just paper. The more you listen, the more you are exploited and the less support you receive.
'As I said, that kid ruined our good daughter. I heard a lot of nonsense because of her.'
It wasn't wrong. After being in the same class as Da-seo, I started thinking about my career path in this direction. At first, I was only satisfied with the growing number of comments every day. However,
'It's really fun, the sentence is so beautiful'
'I've been coming to this site lately to read this novel.'
'Why have I discovered such a gem of a novel only now?'
It was my first time feeling so much warmth and interest. I got drunk on them and started dreaming nonsense. Above all, Da-seo, who seemed like the most helpful person I had ever met, constantly gave me courage.
'I think you're better at writing genre novels than book reports. The response on the internet is also good. These days, the web novel market is good. I heard that it has become active like that, so try entering contests consistently.'
What Da-seo said was the sweetest and warmest thing Ji-hye had ever heard.
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