INAT - Chapter 105

In any case, I was in the position of being a hostage from Ashtad, and Ashtad had been continuously asking to be sent back for some time.

However, it was obvious that if the current situation of the Empire were to spill over into Ashtad, the situation would only get worse.

“I see.”

I nodded slowly. Even if I said I wanted to stay here, there was no guarantee that Ashtad would accept it as my sincerity, so I had to come up with a solid reason.

Even if I had developed a good relationship with the Emperor, I would have had nothing to say if people called it Stockholm Syndrome.

"But how do you plan to make your position known? Oh, of course, I want to stay here. It's just that I think Ashtad won't want to acknowledge it..."

"Actually, I wanted to propose. But I think that might be too sudden for you, and in a way, it's also a bit selfish of me, so I'm asking for your opinion first."

A proposal? Ah...

Come to think of it, Oscar had mentioned marriage, but I had momentarily forgotten about it, and as he said, it was a bit sudden, so I couldn't readily answer.

My lips were so dry that I just moved them for a moment.

"Ah. What do you mean by greed? I would like to, too... but I do think it is a bit sudden."

As I chose my words carefully so as not to hurt Thierry, I ended up speaking very haltingly.

As a result, perhaps unintentionally making Thierry anxious, he displayed a colorful change in expression, brightening at my first words but immediately becoming dejected at the next.

I blurted out half-impulsively at the look on his face as he sullenly lowered the corners of his eyebrows.

"How about an engagement instead of a proposal?" 

"...Engagement?"

But now that I've said it, it seemed like a good idea. I nodded vigorously and gently shook the hand he was holding.

"Yes. I think it would be good to get engaged and coordinate well with Ashtad so that I can continue to stay here. What do you think? Is that possible?"

I figured it might be easier to bring up the topic of an engagement rather than marriage in Ashtad. I also thought it would be better to settle down here in the meantime while gradually preparing myself, so that we could proceed with the wedding later on.

'It's marriage...'

It was a word that didn't feel real at all, even after thinking about it again. I glanced around, wondering if Thierry might be disappointed. However, contrary to my worries, Thierry's eyes sparkled, and he grabbed my shoulder.

"It's possible. I'll make it possible somehow." 

He seemed determined to push ahead no matter what. His resolve was so overwhelming that I found myself nodding involuntarily.

"Just trust me."

...Will he be okay? A sense of unease washed over me at his face, which looked somehow too excited.

I am sure he will handle it well, but since it is we who suffer if the conflict drags on, I hoped to receive a good answer as quickly as possible.

I said slowly.

"It won't be easy. You brought me here, but there was significant damage in the process."

I spoke somewhat heavily. As if taken aback by my words, Thierry flinched and pulled his hand away, then cautiously took my hand again.

"...I realized that I was blinded by my selfishness and tried not to see the wounds of others." 

Thierry smiled while furrowing his brow.

"I understand it in my head, and I know very well that it was wrong... but if it hadn't been for that, I might not have met you. I feel like even if I turned back time, I would make the same choice, and I'm more afraid that you would be disappointed in me and hate me."

"Losed..."

"I might be crazy, but I can't think of anyone but you."

Thierry lowered his eyes with a look of shame on his face. His voice, growing softer and softer, broke my heart.

" I'm sorry for being like this."

I slowly pulled my hand away. His shoulders stiffened, and he bowed his head even lower.

"...You are not alone anymore. Let's set things right together."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. Burying his head against my shoulder as he weakly pulled me along, I gently leaned my head against him.

His body, which had been stiff and motionless for a moment, seemed to slowly relax, and I felt a hand gently wrapping around my waist.

It looked like a hand reaching out while watching my reaction, like a clinging child, so I tightened my grip on him.

As the chilly air from the all-day rain dissipated, the warmth of our touching bodies heated up intensely. We did not let go of each other for quite a long time.

***

As night fell, the rain subsided a little. Since it was midsummer, the daytime temperature was terrible, but it became somewhat bearable at night.

I sat on the bed and stared blankly at the fireplace, blazing as if devouring the sticky moisture.

“Isn’t it hot?”

Thierry, clad in a silk robe, entered the room with his wet hair disheveled. A pleasant scent wafted from him as he had just come out of the shower.

"Ah. I'm fine. Are you hot?"

Since the room was so spacious, the heat from the fireplace far away didn't really reach me. Wondering if I just couldn't feel the heat because I had been in the room the whole time, I opened my eyes wide.

"No. Then should I leave it alone for a little while and turn it off before going to bed?"

“Yes. I do.”

Thierry approached me with a slight smile. I was sitting at the edge of the bed, and as he came within striking distance, his chest, with his robe wide open, caught my eye.

The well-defined muscles were, though it feels a bit embarrassing to say, beautiful enough to make it hard to take my eyes off them.

“Why are you sitting like this?”

I belatedly came to my senses and blinked my eyes at the touch of his hand cupping one of my cheeks.

"Oh... I was just going to look out the window. But even if you've recovered a lot, did you treat your wound before coming?"

“Uhm..." 

“You didn’t?”

"... Yes." 

I deliberately looked at my side because the muscles kept flickering before my eyes, and I guess I hit the right spot. No wonder I got into my room so early.

I frowned and looked up at him, wondering what he would do if a scar were left on him.

"I forgot. Because it doesn't hurt." 

"Even if it doesn't hurt, you still have to get treatment!"

“Ugh..."

I pulled his hand away from his side and shouted, and a hesitant answer came back.

As I tried to get up from my seat, pushing away the man guarding my front, he pressed down gently on my shoulder and asked cautiously.

"Will you treat me?"

“Huh? Me?”

"Yeah. You just need to apply some medicine." 

If you look at it that way, couldn't I just apply it myself? As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I tried to stick it on.

But seeing him waiting for my answer with such expectant eyes, I found it hard to bring myself to speak.

"...Okay. Should I tell them to bring the medicine?"

In the end, I muttered in a sighing tone. It didn't seem right to refuse to do it just because it was difficult.

As soon as I gave my permission, Thierry acted quickly. He brought the medicine himself, as if to say he wouldn't give me a chance to change my mind.

"All you have to do is apply this and wrap this bandage around your waist." 

I held the medicine bottle and bandage in both hands and nodded at his explanation. He smiled as if I were cute, lightly touched one of my cheeks with his fingertips, and slowly untied the knot of his gown.

'...Ah. This is embarrassing.'

He said he would treat me, but as he took off his gown, I rolled my eyes at the feast of flesh that gradually filled my vision. It was just taking off a gown, but I was so nervous; my heart started pounding.

'But aren't you taking it off too slowly?'

Why take off a gown all day long? I fixed my eyes on him again after briefly averting them. And I immediately regretted that choice.

Wait, is something wrong with my eyes? Why does it look so sticky?

With a slither, the gown slid down his body and dropped to the floor. His fully exposed body was as beautiful as a sculpted masterpiece, but before I could be distracted by it, the numerous scars etched on his body brought me back to my senses.

Not only were there wounds on the side, but there were also quite a few old scars, presumably from past injuries. I had only seen the chest a few times, but I had never seen anything below that, so these were things I was seeing for the first time.

"...You have a lot of scars."

"Just a little. It's no big deal."

My heart grew heavy at his tone, which felt truly indifferent, considering how painful it is to cut your fingertip with paper, yet he dismisses this as no big deal.

"The wound is bigger than I thought. There's no way it wouldn't hurt." 

"No. Only a scar remains, and there is no pain anymore." 

If that was really the case, it was an astonishing recovery. A large, deep blue bruise lay next to his well-defined abs, and in the center of it was a long cut that was painful just to look at.

I was upset. Didn't he run like that, holding me while he was still hurting? It was obvious that the wound must have burst open even more back then.

“It’s really okay.”

With a low voice, his thumb touched the space between my eyebrows. Then, as he gently rubbed it as if to smooth out my furrowed brow, my heart inexplicably felt weary.

"I shouldn't have asked them to put some medicine on it. I shouldn't have shown it." 

"No. If you had kept hiding it, I would have been even more upset." 

"More? Then are you still upset?" 

"Of course. I'm so upset I feel like I'm going to cry." 

"That won't do..." 

I carefully scooped out the medicine and applied it to his wound. I concentrated all my attention on my fingertips, worried it might hurt, when I heard a small laugh from him as he hesitated for a moment.

"But on the other hand, I feel good. Because you're worried about me." 

I looked up slightly and saw his face smiling innocently and brightly. At his refreshing, boyish smile, my lips naturally relaxed as well.

"Can you laugh while you're in pain?"

“Yes, because you are there.”

"True...!" 

My voice was heavily laced with unmistakable laughter.

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