- Episode 13
A knight does not easily give up his sword to others.
It doesn't matter what kind it is, whether it is a beloved sword or a dagger carried merely for formality.
This was even more so for Dominic, the captain of a knight order. Even though Adelheid, being of royal blood, could not possibly have been unaware of that fact, she remained steadfast.
“Please give me one.”
"Why do you need a dagger?"
“Why, are you worried I might commit suicide? It’s not like that. Look, I always carry a dagger for self-defense, too. I just want to keep at least one of your things. I might never see you again.”
"..."
"You can at least do this much for me."
About this much.
Adelheid's words somehow sounded like criticism.
It would have been fine to just ignore or refuse, but Dominic felt as if he were being strangled.
He felt self-loathing for the first time. Why had she asked such a thing?
Why did he ask such a stupid question as whether His Majesty loves Her Highness?
'Questioning the things around you is very natural.'
Whether the King loved Adelheid or not, that was not important.
There is no need to consider whether that is love or not.
Violence, coercion, oppression, and aggression. Dominic thought about Adelheid for the first time.
But he can't do anything.
The Lord's command. The original place. The place where it ought to be.
People are waiting for him...
So, about this much.
Adelheid took the dagger and laughed.
She stared at the dagger for a long time with a calm gaze, then asked as if something had suddenly occurred to her.
"Do you know the blessing the dragon bestowed upon Henburg?"
"... Yes."
"It is about ensuring that the lineage of descendants with noble blood never ends. But now, I am the only one left."
"..."
“I’m infertile.”
"..."
“If I die, it’s the end. Then what happens to that blessing? Immortality? What do you think, Captain?”
Among the nations that possessed guardian dragons, there is no nation where the blessing was not realized.
Adelheid's words were valid, and Dominic felt confused by them.
What happens if Adelheid, the last remaining member of the Henburg royal family, dies? What happens after that?
He could not answer. No one would be able to answer.
" Thank you for the dagger. It's pretty."
Adelheid looked at the dagger in her hand with an expressionless face.
“Captain.”
"..."
"....Can I see you in the study today?"
That face was strangely etched in his mind, so he nodded without realizing it.
***
That night, Adelheid looked for the study. To be precise, she looked for Dominic.
She didn't even sit down, but stood leaning against the bookshelf, taking books out and putting them back in.
The figure half-buried in the darkness looked precarious for no reason.
Eventually, Adelheid asked in a thin voice.
"Was the Captain's dream originally to be a knight?"
Dominic hated that artificial-sounding voice.
It has always been that way from the beginning until now.
“...That is correct.”
"Why?"
“It is difficult to say. I simply had the talent... and living as a knight is comfortable for me.”
“Comfortable? The training must be quite grueling. What exactly makes it comfortable?”
“It’s about obeying.”
"Obedience... there is no humiliation in it?"
"A knight's obedience to his lord is not humiliating."
"Right. I was just curious about how to have a dream. Talent and aptitude... Captain, that's a more cliché reason than I thought."
Dominic remained silent, unable to understand what was being said.
Suddenly, Adelheid let out a short laugh.
Thump. The book hit the bottom of the bookshelf and was put back in its place.
Then, her sweet voice lowered as if singing.
"I spoke more than five words with the maid today."
"... Yes?"
“I always set a goal. They are like small miracles that might come true. There is one miracle I set for myself in the past: to exchange at least five words with a handmaiden.”
Dominic remained silent, not knowing what to say.
Adelheid added quietly.
"I'm making an excuse. That's one of the reasons I forcibly held the Captain and talked to him. I just... wanted to make an excuse."
"..."
"Do you know? You are the first person to enter this study more than once. I didn't let the ladies-in-waiting come in because they wouldn't deal with me anyway... The previous guards were one of three things: they didn't come to the study at all, they didn't want to 'talk' to me, or they wanted to do something other than 'talk.' The conversation I am talking about here isn't the usual superficial chatter."
"Then."
The conversation stopped. Adelheid stared at him intently, waiting for him to continue.
Dominic asked after a long and arduous period of hesitation.
“I... Why?”
Adelheid closed and opened her eyelids.
It was a look that seemed as if tears were about to fall at any moment.
“...Why are you curious about that? The fact that you are curious about that is, Captain... even you, Captain..."
"..."
"Was it okay talking to me?"
He was speechless.
Seeing Dominic unable to answer, Adelheid smiled as if she had expected it.
"I know you hated me, Captain. Thank you for putting up with me despite your dislike... and that's enough now."
" What do you mean?"
"I won't be coming to the study anymore."
"...It will take a little time until I return."
Then Adelheid let out a small laugh.
“What do you mean? Captain, weren't you supposed to be in trouble getting involved with me? You need to return safely without any lingering issues.”
Dominic closed his mouth, realizing his mistake. His brow furrowed.
Even he himself could not understand what was said earlier.
You mean there's still some time until the return?
Let's meet in the study during that time?
Even though he had been so wary of and displeased with Adelheid all this time.
Adelheid did not pry further, but simply smiled gently.
"It might have been annoying and uncomfortable for the Captain, but it was a meaningful time for me. It was good. That's how I feel."
Dominic picked up his words as if in a hurry, without realizing it. He wanted to say no.
At least he didn't dislike her in the study, and he didn't dislike the time in the study either. But he couldn't say it.
If the Adelheid outside the study and the Adelheid inside the study are the same person, why does he distinguish her? It was a contradiction.
"Alright... That’s all I have to say. I just came to say goodbye. I might say more outside, but that’s how it is in the study. Don’t come here starting tomorrow. You are banned."
"..."
"There's nothing to say about the Captain, right?"
As if it were only natural that she wasn't there, she turned around.
"Is this the last time in the study?" Dominic became anxious for no reason.
It’s not that there was no reason, but rather that he didn’t know what it was.
So, having nothing else to say, he opened his mouth.
“Your Highness.”
"Yes?"
“...Your Highness... Have you never had a dream?”
Dominic was dumbfounded after blurting it out without thinking. Is there really such a useless question?
Was I really this pathetic? But he couldn't take back what he had already said.
Adelheid also seemed flustered, widening her eyes and asking back.
"Why the sudden question?"
"Because you said you were curious about how to have a dream..."
His breathing calmed down. Dominic clenched and unclenched his hands a few times.
He felt like a part of his heart was worn out or buried in something else.
Vague, disorganized, and slow. The surrounding time flowed slowly.
Adelheid, who had been moving her lips for a moment, smiled briefly.
It was a very brief smile, roughly the size of pulling the corners of the mouth together for a moment and then letting go.
"My heart does not live in the future."
Adelheid turned around, putting a period at the end with a slightly trembling voice.
Amidst the silence, the sound of footsteps continued incessantly
A long shadow followed her toes.
Dominic chased her without even realizing it.
Just before the door closed, she suddenly stopped. Her head turned slightly toward the inside of the study.
“...I know what the rumors are about my conduct. The King told me.”
"..."
"But I never once made excuses to the guards for my behavior."
As if what had been heard were a dream, the door closed without a second thought. The rippling shadow was abruptly severed at the same time.
There was nothing where the lost gaze lingered. Whoosh, the candlelight flickered.
Previous Next
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment