A man who was heavily intoxicated sat by the grave and muttered softly.
His eyes, which were as blue as the sky, were clouded with alcohol; his attire was a mess, and his low, muttering voice was full of profanity.
“...I kept looking.”
"Man," Arma muttered softly.
Arma did not love Roselyn. Or so he thought.
He thought she was simply an interesting opponent, nothing more and nothing less. It was clear that he had become arrogant because he was pleased that she was only softening her stance as time went by.
"I didn't want to become Emperor."
That was all.
The man inherited the bloodline of the sun that sustains this nation, yet he received no love from the sun and was even deprived of his mother's embrace...
So he couldn't love anything.
Arma could not love anything born in this country, so he tried to escape by cowardly means.
By death.
No, by pretending to be dead.
"..."
He slowly ran his hand over the tombstone, which was a different color on one side from being touched every day.
If he dies, he cannot inherit the throne.
It was a ridiculous thing to say, but Arma thought that there was no one else capable of succeeding to the throne besides himself.
The Second Prince was hot-tempered and not very smart, and while the First Prince was calm and smart, he was far inferior to Arma.
His father, the former Emperor, knew it too. He knew, but he did not stop Arma. Even though he was the only person in the imperial palace who could see through his true intentions.
No, perhaps he didn't give it to him because he saw right through his intentions.
He probably thought it was better to hand over the throne to someone who was somewhat incompetent but loved the country, rather than making someone who had no intention of looking after the country Emperor.
“The youngest.”
"Yes."
"If you have no intention of inheriting the throne, die; you are a hindrance."
It was a kind of expulsion order.
An order to leave and give up the royal family's surname.
And that was the only mercy the dying Emperor could offer in the aftermath of the war.
The First Prince was referred to as a strong contender for the Crown Prince, but there were many shortcomings.
And to fill that missing part...
His father quietly killed everyone with a claim to the throne, except for the Second Prince, who had no interest in the throne.
Yes.
Arma's 'playing dead' was necessary.
'...But I could have told you.'
He could have been honest with her and said that if she were anywhere, he would definitely come find her. His father would have turned a blind eye to that much. If he had, she wouldn't have needed to run around everywhere bearing such a stigma, live in silence... and wouldn't have needed to die.
'It was something I chose to do to live...'
That was something that hurt you.
'It shouldn't have bothered you...'
I thought I didn't love you.
I just thought of it as a slightly friendly toy.
A toy that is close to a friend that I have been keeping an eye on, even though it is dishonest and a hassle, because I like that it gradually opens its heart only to me if I keep it by my side.
A being that can let go as much as one wants if told to.
So if we break up...
"I thought it would be okay."
Thud.
He muttered softly and violently slammed his head against a tombstone carved from hard marble.
[Roselyn Bellion]
As he moved his body, the writing engraved on the tombstone became clearly visible.
“But it wasn’t.”
It wasn't okay.
"It wasn't okay at all, Roselyn."
It was okay at first.
Because he had to wrap up his life as Arma, take on a new role, and reorganize the organization.
He had a lot of things to sort out, and he was busy, so he didn't have time to pay attention to Roselyn.
It crossed his mind every now and then, but he assumed she was doing well.
Arma knew that Roselyn had feelings for him. She knew, but Roselyn never admitted those feelings.
He never once opened his mouth to her and told her that he liked her.
Sometimes, out of hypocritical worry about what would happen if she were left alone, she would murmur that she would be fine.
Therefore...
There must have been some childishness involved.
There must have also been an arrogant thought somewhere, wondering if she would really be okay without him.
Arma didn't want to admit it.
He thought that he, too, would be fine without Roselyn.
He was just curious how she was doing.
He never intended to kill her. He never intended to put her in danger.
However, with her frail body, she was playing a life-or-death game.
While being chased by the imperial family.
While being chased by hunters after the bounty on her head.
So Arma chased after Roselyn, albeit belatedly.
She was no longer relaxed or at ease. She was so good at hiding that even the mighty Arma could not find Roselyn.
The brother who had let go of the Emperor's crown was trying to kill Roselyn.
And framed for his death.
Arma wanted to stop it.
He chased after it because he wanted to stop it, and the more he chased it, the further it drifted away.
As the days of failing to catch it increased, he became more anxious, and on days when he received belated information, he couldn't even sleep.
And one day, he realized it.
The fact that Roselyn, who always made sure to buy medicine with the money she earned while running away and even swindling others, no longer bought medicine.
He was nervous.
He was so nervous.
It was a long battle.
And not long after that, news came that Roselyn had been captured.
As the battle dragged on, Garen Wilbreed, who had been dispatched on the Emperor's orders, found Roselyn.
And Roselyn died. She died.
"...Garen Wilbreed."
He gritted his teeth.
Garen Wilbreed killed Roselyn. He even burned her body, leaving not a single trace of flesh.
He ran away like that, and not far away, he too died, engulfed in flames.
Why didn't I know?
What has died does not return.
What is not conveyed cannot be conveyed to the dead. Even if one tries to convey it to the dead, it merely becomes futile. For death is the end.
No matter how much he drew and drew, and no matter how loudly he shouted at the god he did not believe in, Roselyn did not return.
Roselyn, who loved Arma, because the person he laughed and chatted with was already dead.
Arma slowly opened his mouth.
***
I'm sorry, Roselyn...
Roselyn slowly inhaled at the voice and sight lodged in her mind.
Unable to show it, she stiffened.
'...What just happened?'
The moment Arma touched her, a strange scene flashed through her mind.
At the touch of a hand gently brushing her cheek, Roselyn suddenly realized what the situation was.
While unable to see, Arma quietly entered her room. Then, he repeatedly held her hand and stroked her hair without a word, just as he had been doing for some time.
'...Why on earth are you acting like this?'
Roselyn was somewhat perplexed.
She kept her mouth shut, pretending to be asleep for no reason, so she ended up in a situation where she couldn't do anything.
'What was that memory I just saw again...'
Roselyn recalled what had come to mind as if in a dream.
There was a tombstone with her name on it.
Roselyn rolled her eyes under her eyelids.
'No way... Is this originally my world?'
Then, was he alive after all?
Roselyn thought with her eyes closed.
"For some time now, I've been dreaming of a world where you are dead. Dreams where I regret that you are dead."
Roselyn was surprised for a moment and fell silent.
"I see myself in despair because you are gone. A wretched man who gets completely drunk at your grave every night and makes confessions."
"..."
"I'm scared that it might turn out that way. At least in that moment, I feel every emotion I experience in that dream, but it's so horrible..."
Hesitation could be felt in his low voice.
"...I'm afraid that I might lose you and end up like that, too."
'...So that’s why he had that expression in Landarin?'
Arma, who had come to find her, was terrified and relieved to have found Roselyn.
The hand that had been stroking her hair slowly brushed her cheek once and then moved far away.
“I don’t know.”
Roselyn considered telling him instead. She felt like she shouldn't hear any more of the story.
"Roselyn, I hate the Emperor, the Imperial Palace, and the Empire."
"..."
"So I thought I wouldn't be able to love the things that came from the Empire..."
Arma trailed off.
"I thought it might be okay if you were in that empire..."
Roselyn sprang up from her seat.
"Maybe I sincerely love Roselyn... cough."
Then, she reached out with both hands and covered Arma's mouth.
"You seem to have a fever, so please get some sleep."
"...Rose...eup."
“Please sleep.”
Arma's face was filled with bewilderment as his confession was suddenly stifled.
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment