"Etienne, Etienne!"
Shioana was calling him.
How desperately he had longed for this.
Etienne's lips loosened slightly at the overwhelming feeling of happiness.
However, all of this was nothing but an illusion, like a mirage in the desert.
'Because there is no way she would look for me.'
He clung to her time and time again, but Shioana did not look back at him. He was left drenched in rain.
'Of course.'
However, a small resentment toward Shioana welled up in a corner of his heart.
'I would gladly receive punishment by your side for the rest of my life.'
He wanted to stay by Shioana's side, even if he was treated like a wildflower blooming by the roadside or like a vase on a table.
'Please allow me.'
So that he could hear Shioana's voice and follow her shadow.
However, even this hope was not granted to him.
'Under the name of Bernhard.'
There was something he absolutely had to do. That is why he had to give up even living as Shioana's shadow. So, it was clearly a dream for her to call his name affectionately like she does now.
"What a mess this is."
As Shioana's hand stroked his tear-stained cheek, he thought for the first time that this might not be a dream.
"...Am I already dead?"
As Etienne moved his rough lips, Shioana lightly slumped onto the bed.
"I told you not to get hurt."
Etienne smiled faintly at her tearful voice.
Even before, Shioana looked at the wounds on his body and worried about whether he was in pain.
And she ordered him not to get hurt in the future, just like now.
"I will obey your command, Miss."
When Etienne called her "Miss," Shioana could not control the surge of emotion welling up inside her.
When she reunited with Etienne in Urcheka, he seemed like no other lover she knew.
Now that she looked at him, he was just like when she first met him in Regbell.
"You went there alone when you might have died?"
"Shioana, did I ever tell you that I'm quite good at swordsmanship?"
Etienne fumbled with his scabbed hand and pulled her cheek.
"Etienne, I haven't heard much about you."
She had no idea where he came from, how he ended up in a place like this, or if he had a family.
"I feel like I've been scammed into marriage."
Even though they are now strangers since they divorced.
Shioana, holding Etienne's hand, whispered softly. As she rested her cheek against his hand, Etienne let out a gasp of breath and continued speaking.
"The fact that I didn't reveal that I am the wealthiest, most handsome, and most skilled swordsman in Urcheka—"
"You're exaggerating for someone who's injured."
“Shio...”
Etienne, who was about to say her name, coughed and vomited a little blood. Startled by this, Shioana picked up the medicine bottle again.
"You said you would listen? Take your medicine right away."
"But..."
Etienne turned his head toward the wall and trailed off.
"Why on earth are you doing this?"
They say he single-handedly took on dozens of mercenaries and Count Noah. When Shioana first heard that story from the Viscount, she felt as helpless as she had when she gazed at a burning barn.
'Why would he do such a reckless thing?'
'His Excellency wanted to atone.'
Shioana was deeply shocked by the Viscount's subsequent words. It was actually better when he had misunderstood and tormented her after reuniting in Urcheka.
'You have to be there so I can at least curse to my heart's content.'
If he died, she couldn't even hate Etienne.
Only then did Shioana understand Etienne’s feelings as he shouted and lashed out at her, who had collapsed in the garden in the rain.
"Do you think it would be better to die?"
"..."
Etienne did not answer while clutching his wound, but the answer could be known without hearing it.
'We're really stupid.'
Etienne must be in a similar state to hers when she was addicted and wanted to die. Let's think of it as having lost love. The will to live slipped away like sand in the palm of my hand.
There was only one way to change Etienne's mind.
'I have to tell him why he must live.'
Shioana, who had been stroking her belly with her hand, spoke up.
"Then, Etienne, our child..."
She tried to speak as calmly as possible, but her voice kept cracking. At Shioana's words, Etienne's shoulders trembled violently.
“I, I...”
He, who always followed Shioana around, could not have missed the change in her body.
However, he didn't dare ask Shioana about that.
'Why, could it be that she's actually pregnant?'
'You'd better not even think about claiming another guy's child is yours.'
He said too many things he shouldn't have.
Shioana was already pregnant with his child.
So, Etienne had no choice but to express his feelings by sending a gift without a word.
Even though he watched Shioana struggle, there was nothing he could do to help her.
“I am not qualified.”
To think that the father was illegitimate from the very beginning, he could not lift his head.
“Etienne.”
Shioana took his hand and slowly pulled it towards her. He could have pushed her away, but Etienne could not.
His gaze met Shioana's round belly, and a large hand rested on her dress.
"..."
He felt something wriggling beneath her warm, bulging belly. Startled, Etienne froze in place and opened his mouth wide.
"Baby, it's Dad."
Shioana's cheeks flushed, perhaps because the word 'Dad' made her feel a little shy. However, even then, Etienne did not budge like a statue.
"Why do you still suspect it's another man's child?"
As Shioana spoke bitterly, he let go of her hand and raised his head.
"Shioana, I am..."
Etienne always felt the same way.
"You see, I was so crazy about you that I didn't care about adopting a damn bastard into the family."
Etienne could do anything if only he could have Shioana.
"Yes. I want you."
Although the fact that the two of them had a child was deeply moving, Shioana was always the most important thing to him.
“And my child too.”
Shioana felt dizzy at Etienne's confession, which sounded like a promise.
"Then take the medicine first."
As she slowly poured the medicine into his mouth, only then did Etienne swallow it, and soon his Adam's apple bobbed.
"Shioana, come here."
"..."
There didn't seem to be enough space for two people to lie on the small bed. Although she came here to save him, they did have a conversation where they could share their hearts.
'I still feel awkward being with Etienne.'
"...Please"
Seeing the anxious look in Etienne's eyes, Shioana slowly climbed onto the bed.
As she lay down vertically on the edge, Etienne, pressed tightly against her back, whispered.
"Shioana. It's all my fault."
At some point, Etienne only apologized to her. There were times when she wanted to receive an apology from him.
But what meaning does an apology have when it is received in such a mess?
'Because at this rate, it’s no different from him.'
At that time, Etienne did not listen to what Shioana was trying to say at all, so the two could not have a conversation.
As she slowly turned over to lie down, blurry red eyes followed Shioana's face.
"Hand, hand..."
Etienne, gently holding her hand, spoke slowly due to the effects of the medicine.
"I will be punished for the rest of my life. Please don't go."
He whispered desperately, afraid of losing Shioana's hand.
"I'm not going anywhere, so get some good sleep for now."
Only after hearing her answer did Etienne’s breathing relax, as if he felt a little relieved.
"...Ha."
As they lay side by side on the narrow bed, all sorts of memories came flooding back.
Things like the stars seen through the crack in the broken ceiling of Regbell Barn, or the view through the window frame from the bed in the annex.
They had so many memories together that it was hard to count them all.
'This isn't a dream, is it?'
She had been on edge from the moment Viscount Conrad came to visit until now.
Just in case something went wrong with Etienne.
'I feel somewhat relieved because I'm holding you tight.'
Because she hated Etienne yet could never forget him, Shioana's nights were always like hell.
She couldn't even count how long she hadn't been able to get a good night's sleep.
Just then, she felt Etienne's faint breath on the crown of her head. At the familiar scent of his, Shioana's stiff body gradually relaxed.
'We really are together.'
She whispered as she looked down at the large hand tightly wrapped around Siona's waist.
"...good night"
It was a night when the weary breathing of the two people seeped into the crackling sound of the fireplace.
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