'If you want to leave, just go. Why do you keep acting like that and making me feel uneasy...?'
"Why on earth is he acting like that?" It was just then that I was looking at Thierry with anxious eyes.
"Are you going to eat?"
As I followed Thierry, holding my breath, Wagen suddenly spoke to me.
“Oh, yes.”
"I'm worried you might be lonely doing this alone."
Wagen also wondered why he was acting that way. It was an affection that looked suspicious to anyone.
'Is everyone going crazy from how hard this is...'
I thought it would be better for me to leave first.
"...It's alright. Then I'll be going now."
"Yes. I hope you have a pleasant meal. Oh, please be careful on the stairs. I am concerned that you might get hurt."
After giving his gaze once to Thierry's broad back, who stood like a statue with his back turned until the very end, and once to Wagen, who smiled with his eyes narrowed, I naturally turned my head straight ahead. Then, I slowly went down the stairs.
I was bothered that there was not the slightest sound of movement behind me as I went down the stairs, but that was all.
***
"You never once look back."
"...Come check it out.”
Thierry turned his head to watch as soon as Elisha went down. When she went down one floor and was no longer in his sight, he gestured to Wagen.
"Oscar was following behind, though?"
“Aren’t you going?”
It felt as if a bolt from the blue was about to strike Thierry's face, which had been as gloomy as a dark, cloudy sky since yesterday. Wagen, sensing that the lightning would fall on him if things continued like this, let out a hollow laugh in disbelief.
"If it's going to be like this, wouldn't it be better to just get rid of all the stairs?"
"It will still be like that.”
"... Yes?"
“I’m going to get rid of it.”
Instead of answering, Wagen tapped his right ear with his palm as if checking if it was working properly. Thierry stared at Wagen nonchalantly and continued speaking as if nothing had happened.
"While you're down there, go get a ruler to draw the new construction plans."
"What...?"
Then, giving the frozen Wagen another glance to hurry up and leave, he headed to the office. Of course, until he reached the desk, Thierry's attention was focused solely on Elisha.
Thierry recalled the flustered face he had encountered just moments ago. His lips, pressed together, tightened slightly.
"...Why do you make that face every time we meet?"
Soon, a heavily suppressed voice leaked out.
Unlike his cool, subdued voice, his eyes were somehow gloomy.
"I told you not to even say hello, so why do you keep doing it..."
Thierry knew, too. That Elisha was afraid of him. But seeing that every time was torture.
He wanted to improve their relationship somehow. Since she hadn't yet realized that she was Lari, that was the only way to get closer.
So he deliberately tried to speak to her in a friendly tone like before and increase the time they spent together, but he hit a wall after just a few days.
Whenever he said anything, Elisha would nervously glance around and keep her distance with a heavily withdrawn expression. Whenever she glared at him with wary eyes, as if determined not to give him any breathing room, he wanted to tell her the whole truth.
It's because you're Lari. As long as you remember that you're Lari, everything will be fine.
But the moment he blurted those words out, it was obvious Elisha would look at him like he was crazy. He could tell just by looking at how wary she became after he mentioned Lari during the hunting festival, wondering what kind of thoughts she was having.
Thierry gasped for breath, like someone forcing themselves to swallow something. The emotion was so immense that it was painful to swallow.
He slumped onto the sofa with a thud and covered his eyes with one arm.
"...How is it that you haven't changed at all?"
If he hadn't known Lari well, he would have used that ignorance as an excuse to push his agenda, but because he knew Lari so well, he could see right through her expressions, which put him in a difficult position.
Things like pupils shaking when flustered, rolling eyes when embarrassed, or sometimes one corner of the eye closing a little more tightly when smiling.
And things like avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, and being unable to keep one's hands still when scared
"It would have been okay if you had changed just a little."
No matter how much she changed, he would have recognized Lari. However, contrary to his conviction, the reality of having to endure it was too overwhelming.
He wished she would treat him comfortably, but he was displeased that she kept being so polite. And when he looked at her with a fearful gaze, as if she wanted to avoid him, he wanted to leave the place.
No, actually, he was afraid that Elisha might run away from him first. So much had already been forced upon them, and she felt like if he did anything more, it would be impossible to turn back.
Thierry's fierce gaze automatically lowered to one of pity. How could he possibly attempt to get close to her when she was acting as if she would have a seizure the moment she saw him?
"...Anyone watching would think I'm eating her."
Even though he knew why Elisha was acting that way, his stomach ached. He even felt a sense of resentment.
I recognized you, but I don't know why you don't know me.
Even though he knew that she was a victim of forced soul transfer due to the elf's trickery and because of himself, he would have these ridiculous thoughts.
Then his chest stung again.
At times, it ached heavily as if his chest were sinking, and at other times, it pricked at him. He had been unaffected even by a sword cut, yet such mere pain made Thierry strangely sensitive.
Maybe it's because of his long-standing insomnia.
However, even now, with his tired eyes closed, sleep did not come. His mind, heavy from lack of rest, sometimes made his thoughts hazy, but mostly it made him irritable.
'...Maybe it's because they know Lari is back alive.'
Even now, the anxiety of what would happen if he lost her again while he was asleep, just like before, was gnawing at his nerves.
After all, this insomnia was the price of the helpless loss of Lari. And it was clear that this loss would not improve even the slightest unless the returned Lari was kept by his side every day.
Of course, he should always stay close to Lari for her safety, even more than for his own sleep...
"You said you would kill the court physician in front of the Princess? That's why she's afraid of you. Weren't you just trying to change your image?"
"...It's because I'm worried about Lari. You told me to treat you well, and I've treated you so well already."
His mind was as jumbled as the situation became complicated. He clearly tried to look after her affectionately, just as Wagen had said, but for some reason, the more he tried, the further apart they grew.
To think the result was poor after just one attempt. He couldn't take it lightly, so he immediately confided that inexplicable sense of distance to Wagen, but all he received in return was a look of disdain.
"...Of course, as a Princess, she has reason to be wary. The person who overthrew her country and took her as a hostage is changing his attitude overnight—wouldn't anyone be suspicious?"
"You told me to do that."
"Of course you have to take it slow. If you just barge in, anyone would feel pressured and avoid you. That's why I told you to set clear boundaries. I told you you might regret it."
"...Damn it, how on earth am I supposed to handle this?"
"Be patient, but don't get your hopes up. You're just getting disappointed because you expected it and it didn't live up to your expectations. Don't get anxious thinking she'll slowly let her guard down; after all, the Princess is by your side right now."
Thierry sat up abruptly while ruminating on his conversation with Wagen yesterday. With his elbows resting on his thighs and his head clutched, he did not move for a long time.
"If I feel anxious even when they are right beside me, what am I supposed to do then..."
His cracked voice scattered weakly into the air. Soon, he ran his impatient hand over his face and lifted his head. Outside the window, darkness had already set in.
Thierry sprang out of bed and headed straight out of the room.
***
"Your Majesty?"
I hadn't really done anything, but it was already evening. Perhaps because I was physically weak, even though I hadn't moved much, my eyes were already filled with drowsiness.
I quickly washed up and was rushing to get ready for bed when I was stunned by Thierry's sudden appearance.
I heard a sudden knock on the door and naturally assumed it was Marie, so I just opened it for her, but I never expected a huge chest to suddenly appear out of nowhere and block my view.
"I wonder what brings you here at this hour..."
At my stunned muttering, his chest, visible through his shirt, tensed up.
'Huh...'
It was a movement that snapped me back to reality. I blinked my eyes and barely managed to pull my gaze back up, preventing it from constantly threatening to descend to my chest.
Then, as if he had been looking down at me all along, my eyes met his red eyes as if he had been waiting.
"...Ah."
"...?"
"Well, I was just wondering if your ankle is okay."
"... It's okay."
But did you come here just to ask this? You just walked away earlier without even acknowledging me...? I slowly closed and opened my eyes. You're really unpredictable.
And forget what I said yesterday morning. I think I went too far.
"Did you say that in a greenhouse?"
What is he talking about? I rolled my eyes, briefly ruminating. Was it the barrage of questions like a madman? Asking why I was eating so little, or if I was sick? Or...
"Were you scared because I said I would get rid of it?"
Ah. So you're talking about what you said about getting rid of the royal robes.
I looked at him with a somewhat puzzled expression. It wasn't surprising that he acted as he pleased, so I couldn't understand why he was watching my every move like a child being scolded.
"I did that back then because I was worried about the Princess."
I was so surprised that I missed the timing to answer. But Thierry, perhaps taking that as an affirmation, added something uncharacteristically impatient.
"I won't scare you again."
I was starting to get genuinely worried about Thierry.
'Why are you really like this...'
They say people change when they are about to die, so I wondered if he was sick or something. I couldn't understand why he would go to such lengths to act just to fool me.
He is someone who said he wouldn't let me get away with it if he found Lari, so I can't exactly reveal that I am Lari to someone like that.
'It's frustrating.'
Silence fell. I stared blankly at Thierry with a speechless expression.
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