Episode 75. An Uneasy Greeting
"I'm going to the Imperial Palace today."
Serena had been bustling about since morning. She spoke to Lucy as she got ready. Lucy took out her notebook.
"To the Empress's chambers?"
"No."
Serena said, looking in the mirror.
"To His Royal Highness the Crown Prince."
Lucy stopped writing in her notebook. Serena looked at Lucy in the mirror. Lucy looked at Serena with a worried expression.
"Is it because of the marriage proposal?"
"Yes."
Lucy said, clutching her notebook.
"Have a safe trip."
That was all. She didn't ask any further. That was the only thing Lucy could say in this situation. Serena nodded and stood up from her seat.
It was yesterday evening at the dinner table. Claude, Isabella, and Edward were sitting there. The atmosphere was different from usual. Everyone looked as if they knew something. That the marriage envoys had visited, and that Leon had been there. Yet, no one was speaking up first. Only the sound of eating soup could be heard.
Serena put down her spoon and spoke first.
"I think I need to go to the Imperial Palace tomorrow."
Everyone looked at Serena.
"I must meet His Royal Highness the Crown Prince in person and call off the marriage."
The table fell silent. Isabella looked at Serena.
"In person?"
"Yes, I think it is right to tell him directly rather than by letter. After all, His Royal Highness was sincere."
Edward said as he put down his bread.
"We don't know how His Royal Highness will take it. Are you sure you're okay with that?"
Serena looked at Edward.
"It's fine. No matter how he takes it, I have to tell him directly. I think that is the least bit of courtesy."
Edward looked at Serena, then picked up his soup. Claude crossed his arms and said.
"Are you going alone?"
"Well, since I'm saying I won't get married, should I take you along, Edward? To say, 'I oppose this marriage'!"
Claude looked at Serena for a moment and said.
"Then I will go to the Imperial Palace too. I think I need to speak with His Imperial Majesty separately."
That was all he said. Claude wasn't a man of much talk to begin with. Just saying he would go along. To say that he would look after her, that was the maximum Claude could express. Serena was deeply grateful for her father's sentiment.
"Thank you, Father."
Isabella looked at Serena as she picked up her teacup.
"Serena. Have a safe trip."
She added.
"You know what kind of person His Royal Highness the Crown Prince is. It might hurt his feelings, but it is right for you to tell him yourself."
Serena looked at Isabella. Isabella said.
"It is proper etiquette to respond sincerely to sincerity."
Serena nodded while looking at Isabella. Edward said as he picked up some bread.
"And shouldn't we let Young Master Leon know when it's all over?"
Serena looked at Edward. Edward averted his gaze to the ceiling.
"Well, I'm just kidding."
Serena looked at Edward for a moment before looking away. Hearing Edward's words, Serena thought. I should let Leon know, too. Since he said he would wait. The dining table fell silent again.
The sound of soup being eaten. The sound of bread being torn. It was an ordinary dinner table. However, within that ordinariness lay the weight of the tomorrow ahead.
Having made up her mind, she was in the carriage heading to the Imperial Palace. Serena looked out the window and thought. What should she say to His Royal Highness the Crown Prince? Was there a specific way to refuse? How could she hurt him less?
She had lived for eighty years, but she had never done anything like this before. She had refused many times, but turning someone's heart away was different. And Serena knew that the Crown Prince was sincere. That made her heart even heavier.
Serena looked out the window and thought. Still, she had to do it. Dragging it out was worse.
It was the Crown Prince's quarters. A lady-in-waiting guided Serena. The Crown Prince was sitting in the reception room. As Serena entered, the Crown Prince rose from his seat. His face was gentle. It was the Crown Prince's usual face. He smiled brightly at Serena. The smile looked warm, yet it seemed like a smile holding something back.
"Princess, you have come."
"Your Highness, I apologize for visiting so suddenly."
"No problem. Thank you for coming."
The Crown Prince offered a seat. A brief silence fell between them. It was the moment Serena was about to speak. However, before she could open her mouth, the Crown Prince spoke first.
"Coming here so early in the morning, surely it is not for a good reason."
Serena looked at the Crown Prince. He picked up his teacup.
"You don't have to say anything."
His voice was calm. There was something within that calmness. It was the calmness of someone who already knew. It was a calmness that did not flinch. Serena looked at the Crown Prince again. As he set down his teacup, he said.
"I think I know where your heart lies, Princess. It is not that I am oblivious."
Those words sounded melancholic. It was not a confrontational remark. It was simply an admission that he understood. And within that melancholy lay a sense of disappointment.
"Your Highness, I am sorry. I know you are sincere. But I..."
"Do not apologize."
The Crown Prince interrupted Serena. His voice was quiet.
"There is no reason for you to feel sorry, Princess. It is not a fault to have a heart that belongs elsewhere."
Serena looked at the Crown Prince. The Crown Prince spoke while looking out the window.
"I will withdraw the marriage proposal. I will speak to His Majesty the Emperor directly."
"Your Highness, there is no need for you to do so."
"Since I was the one who proposed it, it is right for me to withdraw it."
The Crown Prince looked at Serena. His gaze was different. The Crown Prince's gaze was gentle, yet there was something hidden within it. It felt as though he were trying to take in Serena. He stared at her face for a long time, as if trying to remember her because he felt he might never see her again.
As the Crown Prince rose from his seat, Serena followed suit. He escorted her to the entrance of his quarters. Stopping at the door, he looked at Serena.
"Princess."
Serena looked back at the Crown Prince. The Crown Prince smiled and said.
"Goodbye."
The words were brief. Just those words. Yet, those words held so much. They seemed sincere, yet not entirely sincere. They seemed to express disappointment, yet seemed like words meant to conceal that disappointment.
"You too, Your Highness."
The Crown Prince nodded. Serena left the Crown Prince's quarters. As she walked down the hallway, she thought.
"Goodbye."
That phrase lingered strangely for a long time. It should have been a pleasant remark, but she had a feeling it wasn't. As she walked down the hallway, Serena thought, "Why do these words feel so unsettling?" Serena could not understand the true nature of that unease.
It was the afternoon of the same day. The Crown Prince entered the Emperor's office. The Emperor, who had been looking at documents, looked at the Crown Prince.
"Pierre, what brings you here?"
The Crown Prince bowed and said.
"I wish to withdraw the marriage proposal with the Duke of Valois."
The Emperor looked at the Crown Prince. After gazing at Pierre for a while, he put down the documents. The Emperor closed them.
"So, the Duke of Valois doesn't want it. Although you are the one saying you will withdraw it first. Surely, the Duke of Valois had already made up their mind before that?"
The Crown Prince looked at the Emperor. The Emperor continued speaking while looking at the Crown Prince.
"I knew this wasn't a forced marriage. Since you are the one withdrawing it first, it is actually for the best."
His words were calm. They were not words of comfort for his son. They were words of the Emperor settling the situation. As the Crown Prince accepted them, he thought to himself. He hadn't sought comfort from his father. Yet, the absence of comfort felt strangely empty. The Crown Prince bowed his head and said.
"I understand, Your Majesty."
And he left the office. A short while later, the office door opened again. It was Duke Claude. The Emperor looked at Claude. Claude bowed and offered his greeting.
"I request an audience regarding the marriage proposal "
The Emperor looked at Claude for a moment and said.
"Please take a seat."
Claude sat down. Claude glanced at the Emperor, and the Emperor, as if understanding his reaction, got straight to the point.
"I have already heard from the Crown Prince. He said he would withdraw the proposal. Did you come here to speak directly about the position of the Valois ducal family?"
"Your Majesty, it is not that this marriage is not honorable to the Valois ducal family. However..."
He paused briefly before continuing.
"Serena is not ready yet. I believed that the child's heart should come before the family's wishes."
The Emperor looked at Claude and remained silent for a moment. To think that a ducal family would refuse a marriage to the Crown Prince, a state marriage, in this manner. From the Emperor's perspective, he felt a sense of insolence, but considering the potential difficulties that could arise between him and the Empress if Serena became the Crown Princess, he also concluded that marriage was not the answer.
"I know that the House of Valois is on my side, even if it is not a marriage."
Upon hearing those words, Claude bowed his head.
"Saying that the child's heart comes first. That is typical of the Duke of Valois. Whether in his youth or now, the Duke has always been a person who prioritizes others over his own interests."
Claude looked at the Emperor.
"I do not wish to be a hindrance to my daughter's future."
"Then I suppose I have become a hindrance by interfering with my son's desire to marry? Hmph. Well, let's settle this matter amicably. I will call off the marriage proposal."
Claude bowed deeply before the Emperor.
It was the Crown Prince's quarters. The Crown Prince was alone in his room. The sun was setting. The afternoon light was streaming in diagonally through the window. The room was quiet. There were no ladies-in-waiting or guards. The Crown Prince had said he wanted to be alone.
The Crown Prince stood by the window. He could see the palace garden outside l. The weather was fine, and the trees were swaying in the gentle breeze. It was a peaceful afternoon. As he watched, the Crown Prince thought.
"Goodbye."
"Just goodbye."
It was what he had said to Serena earlier. As he spoke, a strange emotion welled up inside him, but he suppressed it immediately. It wasn't something that would disappear just by suppressing it, yet he forced himself to hide it even more. The Crown Prince had been doing this for a long time. He was a man accustomed to suppressing his emotions.
The Crown Prince stepped away from the window and sat down. He looked straight ahead at the room. There was nothing there. Yet, he felt as though he could see Serena. Serena sitting on the garden bench, gazing at the lavender. Serena who had said "Be careful" in the hallway. Serena who had been by his side while he lay in his room.
As the Crown Prince thought of his memories with Serena, his eyes gleamed. An emotion that could not be explained in words welled up inside him. He tried to suppress it, but he could not. Tears welled up in Pierre's eyes without him even realizing it. There was no sound. Pierre was not a person who cried out loud. Because there were always so many things one had to hide in the Imperial Palace, he was not accustomed to showing his emotions. Yet, tears welled up. They trickled down the Crown Prince's cheeks. He remained drenched in tears for a long time.
The room was quiet, and the afternoon sunlight was gradually setting. A thought suddenly crossed Pierre's mind. Born into the Imperial family, there was nothing he did not desire. If he wanted something, he could have it. Although he never showed it, he always thought of himself as a selfless person, but that was simply because he lacked nothing. That was the nature of the position of Crown Prince. He had always thought of it as natural.
But... it was the first time. For the first time, there was something he could not have. It was Serena.
The Crown Prince wiped his tears. Slowly. Straight. Wiping them with the back of his hand, he looked out the window. The sun had completely set. The garden was sinking into darkness. The peaceful afternoon scenery from earlier was sinking into darkness.
The Crown Prince rose from his seat. Pierre's gaze changed. It was different from before. It was not the look of disappointment or despair. It was a cold gaze, one that had made a decision. If anyone had seen Pierre's eyes, they would have said they resembled the Empress's. As if the warm gaze filled with goodwill had never existed, it instantly transformed into a ferocious, cold gaze that had swallowed the darkness.
"If I can't have you."
The room was silent. The Crown Prince spoke while looking out the window.
"I won't just let you go."
It was a monologue spat out into the void. Pierre stood looking out the window. The pitch-black darkness of the night had completely enveloped the garden.
Looking down at the view outside, Pierre smiled bitterly.
[Lucy's Secret Shock Journal Chapter 75]
It is said that the Princess has withdrawn her marriage proposal to His Highness the Crown Prince. His Royal Highness the Crown Prince said nothing more than a single word. "Goodbye."
Upon hearing this, the Princess said she felt uneasy. Did she expect to hear something like, "Return home safely, Princess," or "Wishing you blessings and glory for the future, let us never see each other again"?
Love is naturally passionate, but partings are always so cold!
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