Silence settled in the office. Odelia stood there, listening quietly to his words. She still didn't say anything.
...Well, I can’t exactly say, “I’m pregnant,” right here and now, as soon as we meet!
Odelia's mind was filled with very realistic worries.
The battle has just ended. The port of Talamand hasn't even been cleaned up yet.
The Bernadia prisoners are just being tied up and dragged away, the soldiers are repairing the walls, and Calix has chased all the way here despite the ministers' attempts to stop him.
Odelia furrowed her brow slightly, barely noticeable.
No, but if she says that later, that would be strange in its own way.
They were in the middle of a battle, and everything was chaotic. She could say that, but that didn't mean it was a problem that could be simply overlooked without being mentioned.
A brief moment of self-mockery flashed through her mind.
...When would it be natural to say this?
Calix continued to watch her even during that time.
As the silence dragged on, he raised his eyebrows slightly.
"You're thinking about something else. What are you thinking?"
“It’s not like that.”
Odelia answered immediately, but Calix's expression did not change. He looked at her for a moment and spoke in a low voice.
"What do you mean it's not? Odelia, whenever you get too deep in your thoughts, whenever you feel uncomfortable, you always lower your gaze to the bottom left. You're doing it right now."
Odelia's gaze froze for a moment. She didn't even know she had such a habit.
Calix moved a little closer after seeing her reaction.
"Tell me if there is anything you don't like, and I'll fix it. Of course, I have no intention of apologizing for coming to Talamand today. As for that part, I..."
“I’m pregnant.”
The office suddenly fell silent.
Calix stood there, having stopped speaking. The momentum of the argument that had been going on just moments ago vanished like a lie, and he stared at Odelia, unable to react.
"...Now."
He looked a little bewildered, which was uncharacteristic of him.
"What?"
Odelia let out a short sigh and ran her hand across her face. She wore a look of bewilderment, making one wonder if she was truly the same person who had just been commanding hundreds of soldiers on the battlefield.
“I’m pregnant.”
She spoke clearly, but there was a hint of resignation in her words.
Silence fell again.
Calix still didn't say anything. He just blinked his eyes and stared at Odelia.
That expression was a little strange. It wasn't the face of someone listening to a story about war, nor was it an angry face, but it wasn't a face that had immediately understood either.
A moment later, he cautiously opened his mouth.
"Then, last time..."
"Please don't insist on a specific date!"
Odelia cut him off almost reflexively.
Calix stood frozen in place. Unable to finish what he was about to say, he stared blankly at Odelia for a moment.
Slowly.
The corners of his mouth started to turn up.
At first, it was subtle. It seemed to be rising without the person even realizing it.
Odelia's eyes narrowed.
“Are you smiling now?”
Calix said nothing. Instead, he briefly turned his gaze to the side and then looked back at her.
In the meantime, the corners of his mouth had turned even higher.
Wrinkles formed on Odelia's forehead.
"Don't laugh. Now is not the time for that."
Calix lowered his head for a moment as if catching his breath, then raised it again.
"But on that day, you were the first..."
“Stop!”
Odelia shouted almost immediately. It was a shout that seemed to carry a hint of embarrassment.
“Don’t look back!”
Calix looked at her for a moment, then very slowly raised both hands as if to say he understood.
"I get it."
He raised his hands as if surrendering and stood there for a moment. Then, he soon brought his hands to his face and ran them over it as if washing his face dry.
"...This is the worst."
What? Odelia thought she had misheard him.
“It’s the worst.”
However, even after hearing it again, he was saying it was 'the worst'. Odelia's expression hardened in an instant.
Her lips trembled, then immediately clamped shut. She said nothing, like someone who had been hurt.
"I didn't want to propose like this."
The office became quiet again.
Calix stood there for a moment as if choosing his words, then slowly approached Odelia.
"I wanted to give you only the best. But strangely enough, it seems I always end up showing my dim-witted side like this."
There was a hint of self-mockery in his voice.
Calix stopped in front of her. After hesitating for a moment, he slowly took her hand.
He held her hand tightly as if he would never let go and continued speaking.
"I didn't want to push you this way. It might seem like I'm pressuring you, but I feel like saying nothing would be even more cowardly, so I'm going to say it."
After pausing briefly to catch his breath, Calix quietly added.
"Odelia. Will you marry me?"
Odelia could not answer immediately. As the silence dragged on, Calix's eyes narrowed.
“Odelia.”
He called quietly.
"What is making you hesitate like that?"
When there was no answer, he continued in a slightly lower voice.
“Am I still not good enough?”
Pause for a moment and add.
"If you are worried about Fabiana's faction, you don't need to worry. I have just been holding back until now. If I want to..."
“It’s not like that.”
Odeliaka quietly stopped speaking.
Odelia stood still, not letting go of his hand. However, her gaze remained lowered.
"...I don't really know either."
She spoke lowly.
"I... I don't know what I am. Even I don't know my own identity."
Calix's eyes wavered.
Odelia's gaze still lingered on the floor.
She was once raised as a woman of a noble family. She learned the sword and the ways of war, and lived as someone destined to shoulder the family's name.
Then, overnight, everything collapsed.
She became the daughter of a commoner rather than a noble, and was called by the title 'cursed being' instead of her name.
Life after that was not much different.
She survived the battlefield, wielded a sword, and in the end, people called her a hero.
But even after all that time has passed...
Odelia still couldn't be sure what she was.
She was once a noble, once a commoner, once a soldier on the battlefield, and now she was the lord of her land, Talamand.
Even though all of that was clearly her life, none of it ever felt like its own place.
Barely here, in Talamand...
Life as a lord was gradually settling in.
It was a position where people followed her, where there was land she had to protect, and where she was responsible for people.
Only then did she feel like she could breathe a little.
But if she becomes the Empress.
If she has to live as the Empress of the Empire.
And now, if she has to live as a mother.
Odelia could not yet imagine what that life would look like or what kind of time it would be for her.
Calix quietly watched her, who was confused, and then suddenly asked.
"Are you a man?"
Odelia blinked.
"... Yes?"
“Are you a man?”
A brief, bewildered silence followed. Odelia's brow furrowed slightly.
“...I'm a woman.”
Calix nodded.
“Then it’s done, isn’t it?”
Odelia was speechless.
Calix moved his shoulders slightly as if it were no big deal.
"You don't need to think too deeply about anything beyond that. No matter what you have lived as, or what people have called you, that doesn't define who you are now."
His hand was still holding Odelia's hand.
"If you do not want children, I will follow your wishes. If marriage is a burden, the same goes for that."
Even though he was the Emperor, the words 'give up the child' came out so easily. That said, it did not sound like a lie.
"I won't change because of things like that. My feelings won't cool or anything like that."
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