Episode 20 - As Life Goes On (A Soft and Relaxing Break)
The first time Lucy saw Siegfried properly was on the day the Duke and Duke of Ashford first visited Valois Manor. At that time, he was merely a subordinate of Prince Leon. He was tall. His posture was upright. His expression was serious. His eyes were sharp as he surveyed his surroundings while following behind the Prince. That was all there was to Lucy's first impression. A person from the superior's side who had broken off the engagement. Nothing more, nothing less.
To be honest, she wasn't without prejudice. After all, he was the man Prince Leon, who had broken off his engagement with Princess Serena. Just the fact that he served that Prince made Lucy unconsciously wary of him.
However. While Lucy was hiding behind a tree in the garden, taking notes in her notebook, Siegfried was behind the same tree. And their eyes met. At that moment, Lucy thought. He was writing in his notebook, too. That was all. Back then.
The second time they properly encountered each other was on the day Leon visited Valois Manor alone. Lucy was waiting in the hallway outside the study. Siegfried was also waiting in the hallway outside the study. They were standing on opposite sides of the hallway. Lucy on the left, Siegfried on the right. They stood silently with a single study door between them. Lucy took out her notebook and began to write down the events of the day. A moment later, Lucy rummaged through her pencil case. The ballpoint pen was missing. It seemed she had used it in the study earlier and left it behind.
Lucy inwardly realized her mistake and searched every corner of the pencil case once again. It wasn't there. It definitely wasn't. Lucy had no choice but to look at Siegfried. Siegfried looked at Lucy. Lucy spoke cautiously.
"Excuse me."
"Yes."
Her voice was low and composed.
"Do you have a ballpoint pen?"
Siegfried looked at Lucy for a moment, then silently took a pen out of his pocket. Lucy reached out to take it. Siegfried reached out to hand it to her. The pen lingered briefly between their hands. At that moment, their fingertips touched. It was very brief. It must have been less than 0.5 seconds. Lucy reflexively pulled her hand away.
"With the ballpoint pen."
Siegfried lowered his hand, pretending nothing was wrong. Lucy gripped the pen as she looked down at her notebook... Zing. Her fingertips tingled. She had the thought but immediately erased it. It was a strange thought. Her hand had merely touched his while receiving the pen. Lucy jotted something down in the notebook with the pen. However, after writing for a while, she noticed nothing was written there. Only the pen was moving.
Lucy glanced at Siegfried. He was looking straight ahead. That was when Lucy saw Siegfried's profile properly for the first time. Wait. At first, she had just thought of him as Prince Leon's subordinate. Seen from the side under the hallway light, his features were distinct. His jawline was clean. His nose was straight. His eyes were long and dark. He always wore a serious expression, giving him a sharp impression, but seeing him from the side, that impression seemed closer to solid than cold. He appeared to be a few years older than Lucy. Perhaps in his mid-twenties.
Lucy quickly lowered her gaze back to her notebook.
"What did I just see?"
She muttered to herself as she moved her pen. This time, she really took notes. The study meeting was over. Lucy had to greet her family members coming out of the study in the hallway. Duke Claude came out first. Lucy bowed to greet him. Claude nodded and walked past. Edward came out.
"Young Master."
Edward nodded lightly and walked past. Leon came out. Lucy stepped back a step while greeting him. But there was something behind her. It was a small table with a vase on it. Lucy's heel caught on the table leg. Lucy lost her balance. Ah. Just as Lucy was about to fall backward, a hand reached for her back. Lucy did not fall. She lifted her head. Siegfried was standing behind Lucy. One hand was supporting her back to help her maintain her balance.
As soon as Lucy regained her balance, Siegfried let go of her hand. Naturally. As if nothing had happened.
"Be careful."
That was all. Siegfried was already following behind Leon. Lucy stood there, unable to do anything for a moment. The sensation of the hand that had touched her back and then vanished lingered. The vase was safe. Only then did Lucy realize her heart was beating strangely fast.
"What is this?"
Lucy muttered to herself as she adjusted her posture. It was the day of the incident involving Leon and Martha slamming the wall. Lucy had watched from behind a tree as Martha talked with Leon in the garden. Siegfried was behind that tree again. Lucy took out a notebook. Siegfried took out a notebook, too. Lucy took out a ballpoint pen. Siegfried took out a ballpoint pen, too. This time, both were there. Two ballpoint pens. Two notebooks.
Lucy began to write. Siegfried began to write. Standing side by side behind the tree, each taking notes in their own notebooks. A moment later, Lucy glanced at Siegfried's notebook. Siegfried also glanced at Lucy's notebook. Their eyes met. Both simultaneously lowered their gaze back to their own notebooks. Lucy wrote while scratching her cheek. Siegfried wrote while clearing his throat.
Then, a scene unfolded in the garden where Martha was being slammed against the wall. Both of them held their breath at the same time. Martha made a remark about arthritis. Both of them jotted it down in their notebooks simultaneously. Lucy let out a very small sound as she stifled laughter. Siegfried let out a very small, hollow laugh. Lucy looked at Siegfried. Siegfried looked at Lucy. Both of them looked back at the garden at the same time.
Martha was leisurely walking into the mansion. Leon was standing with his hand leaning against the wall. Lucy said quietly.
"Young Master, he looks quite flustered."
Siegfried said.
"Yes. It was an expression I've never seen before."
"What kind of expression was it?"
Siegfried thought for a moment and said.
"A look of disbelief, but not bad."
As Lucy heard those words, she thought to herself. Disbelief, but not bad. That was the exact description. Lucy glanced at Siegfried while writing those words down in her notebook. Siegfried looked at her and spoke.
"Are you taking notes?"
"Yes. It is the Princess's journal."
"I write one too. Regarding the Young Master."
Lucy looked at Siegfried.
"The Young Master's journal?"
"It isn't official, but having served him for over ten years, it has become a habit. If I don't write it down, I can't remember it later."
Lucy thought for a moment before speaking.
"I've been serving Young Lady for two years, and I'm the same. It became a habit in two years."
Siegfried looked at Lucy.
"In two years."
"Because the young lady does so many strange things."
Siegfried let out a soft chuckle. Lucy saw it. It was the first time she had seen Siegfried smile. It was a very brief smile. Since he was a man of almost no expression, it was a subtle change, but at that moment, something appeared at the side of his mouth.
Lucy looked at it and narrowed her eyes. It was a dimple. A small dimple. It wasn't deep. It was a dimple that wasn't visible at all when he wasn't smiling. But when he chuckled like that, that spot sank in slightly.
Watching it, Lucy had a strange thought. The thought crossed her mind that she wanted to press down hard with the ballpoint pen.
'Why am I having such thoughts?'
Lucy immediately lowered her gaze to her notebook. She gripped the pen tightly. Siegfried was already looking at the garden with a serious expression again.
After Leon had left. Lucy was tidying up near the entrance of the mansion when she saw Siegfried walking toward the carriage. Lucy was holding a ballpoint pen in her hand. It was the same pen she had been using behind the tree earlier. Lucy said.
"Excuse me."
Siegfried turned around. Lucy held out the pen.
"The pen. Didn't you lend it to me earlier?"
Siegfried stopped and said.
"I had my own pen earlier."
"Oh, was you?"
"Yes."
Lucy looked at the pen. Siegfried looked at the pen too. It was Lucy's pen. Lucy said.
"Oh, right. It's mine. I'm sorry."
"No problem."
Siegfried started walking toward the carriage again. Lucy watched his retreating figure and spoke.
"That time when I almost fell."
Siegfried stopped. Lucy spoke.
"Thank you."
Siegfried turned around. Lucy bowed deeply. Siegfried looked at Lucy for a moment and said.
"No."
Then he got into the carriage. Lucy stood there, watching the carriage door close.
"No."
Those letters strangely kept lingering in her ears. Why did it sound so good when he had said 'No'? Lucy shook her head and entered the mansion. A strange person.
Thinking that. A few days passed. Preparations for the imperial party were in full swing. Martha and Leon met frequently at Valois Manor for related discussions. Naturally, Lucy and Siegfried were also present whenever Martha and Leon met. In the hallway outside the study, in the garden, in front of the drawing room door. They kept ending up in the same spots.
It was awkward at first. Lucy adjusted her posture whenever she knew. Siegfried had arrived. Siegfried fixed his gaze straight ahead whenever he knew Lucy was there. And then... It was one day when the two of them were standing side by side in front of the drawing room door. Lucy was writing something in her notebook when her hand slipped, and the notebook fell to the floor. Siegfried quickly picked it up.
As she took it, Lucy said.
"Thank you."
Siegfried replied.
"Yes."
They let it go. However, when Lucy opened the notebook again, she noticed that several pages had been flipped over while Siegfried was picking it up. She saw the section for her "Shock Journal". Lucy hurriedly closed it. Siegfried looked ahead and said.
"You wrote a lot."
Lucy froze.
"Did you see it?"
"There were quite a few pages. The content was very detailed."
"Did you read the contents?"
"The word 'shock' appeared frequently. The handwriting was round and large."
Lucy said, hugging the notebook tightly.
"The Princess gives me a lot of shocks."
"The Young Master gives me a lot of shocks, too. Without missing a single day for ten years."
Lucy looked at Siegfried.
"Do you write a Shock Journal, Mr. Siegfried?"
"It's not official, but I do have records of a similar nature. If I don't write them down, I can't remember them well later."
Lucy said after thinking for a moment.
"Can I look too?"
Siegfried looked at Lucy for a moment, then took out his notebook. He turned the pages, opened one, and showed it to Lucy. Lucy read it. The young master drank three cups of tea. He was not someone who usually drank more than one cup. The young master covered his ears with his hands. Inside the carriage. He had seen it with his own eyes. It was the first time he had seen something like this.
Lucy looked at the notebook and burst into laughter. She tried to hold it back, but she couldn't. A short, small laugh escaped her lips. Siegfried looked at Lucy.
"Why?"
Lucy said, trying to suppress her laughter.
"I write something similar, too. Yours, Princess. So I really relate to it."
Siegfried thought for a moment and said.
"Show me."
Lucy opened the notebook and selected a page. Still, the one that was least shocking. She held it out to Siegfried. The Princess spilled tea on Prince Leon's thigh. And she wiped it with her skirt. With her skirt. Prince Leon's thigh.
Siegfried's expression changed as he read. He didn't smile. However, his ears turned slightly red. And the dimple at the corner of his mouth went in a little. He was holding back. Lucy saw it. It was another dimple. Lucy fiddled with the tip of the ballpoint pen that had come out of the notebook with her finger. She wanted to press it down. That thought crossed her mind again.
Lucy quickly took the notebook back and lowered her gaze. Siegfried returned the notebook to Lucy and spoke.
"You take good notes. Your sentences are vivid, too."
"You too, Lord Siegfried. It is concise, yet it captures the essence."
The two looked forward again. The faint sound of Martha and Leon talking could be heard from inside the drawing room. Lucy said quietly.
"You two seem to be meeting quite often."
Siegfried said.
"Indeed. You even go to the Imperial parties together."
"Yes."
Lucy said, writing something in her notebook.
"Then we will be seeing each other often, too."
After saying that, Lucy realized her mistake. It had come out so naturally. Lucy felt her cheeks flush as she kept her gaze fixed on her notebook. Siegfried said.
"That is true. We will see each other often from now on."
Lucy thought for a moment as she listened. There was a phrase Martha always used. Lucy didn't know why that phrase came to mind at this moment, but it came out naturally.
"As you live your life."
Siegfried looked at Lucy. Lucy said.
"As you live, there are people you end up seeing often. That is what our Princess always says."
Siegfried accepted the remark for a moment, then said.
"That is a good thing."
"Right? It felt strange at first, but the more I hear it, the more I think it's true."
Siegfried looked at Lucy. Lucy looked at Siegfried. It was brief. Both looked straight ahead at the same time. Martha's voice was heard from inside the drawing room. The two stood side by side, each taking notes in their notebooks.
That night. Lucy opened her notebook in her bedchamber. She organized the events of the day. She paused briefly while writing about the Princess. She wrote it small in a corner of the notebook. Mr. Siegfried. And below it, she added it even smaller
He has dimples. They only show when he smiles. She wanted to press down on them with a ballpoint pen, but of course, she shouldn't.
After writing it, Lucy looked at it for a moment and closed the notebook. Pulling the blanket closer, she squeezed her eyes shut.
'As you live.' It was what the Princess always said. Strangely, today, those words felt like they were coming from her. Lucy pulled the blanket even tighter and closed her eyes tightly.
[Lucy's Secret Shock Journal - Episode 20]
Today, I will write about something other than the Princess. Mr. Siegfried.
At first, I simply thought he was someone from the superior's side after the broken engagement. It would be a lie to say I wasn't biased. But something felt off from the moment our hands touched while I was handing him a pen in the hallway.
When he caught me when I almost fell. When we showed each other our notebooks behind the tree. And today. I realized he has dimples. Dimples that only appear when he smiles. The way the corners of his mouth sink in slightly when he chuckles. I thought about pressing down on them with my pen. I absolutely cannot tell the Princess about this. When I said, "As you live," he said it was a nice thing to hear.
It is our Princess's words, but why does it sound even better when Mr. Siegfried says it is?
It is strange. It is strange, but not bad. It's strange, but-not bad.
It's strange, but not bad.
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