(191) An excuse not to leave
Ariana quietly got out of bed.
It was late at night, but she couldn't fall asleep.
It has been a few days since the Third Prince and Victoria confessed their crimes in detail and were imprisoned in the dungeon.
Those responsible for Ariana's death were now fulfilling their responsibilities. She heard that Royal Consort Aelra had gone mad, the Third Prince and Rachel were distraught, and Victoria was wailing every day in search of Ariana.
The Emperor, perhaps feeling sorry for having suspected Ariana, sent a message saying that if she wanted, she could go to the dungeon and mock them, but Ariana had no intention of doing so.
There is nothing more futile than dying without ever seeing the face of the one you hate.
Ariana was like that, too.
'It was Helena who came to kill me back then.'
Helena quickly ran away.
Helena ended up living the life Ariana had to live in the past, but she did not act foolishly like the Ariana of old. Aside from marrying Ingo Alfreich, she was not used by Western Lord or Victoria, and she disappeared as soon as she felt an ominous premonition.
Cyrus, who visited earlier today, said
"I found out where Helena escaped to. What should I do? Should I kill her?"
The reason she answered that it wasn't necessary was not that she had forgiven Helena.
Even when she was revived, her heart was pitch black with hatred and a thirst for revenge against them. She poured all her time and emotions entirely into vengeance. Her only wish was to make them feel the same despair he had felt.
However, she met her father and ended up dipping her toes into the family's affection. It was so warm and radiant, so excessively sparkling, that it lifted away the darkness within Ariana little by little.
Helena told Ariana she was sorry. In fact, she hadn't tried to bring Ariana down since then.
The reason she was able to project her past plight onto Helena, who had lived in silence, must be because her heart was filled with just that much warmth.
So, just as she thought she was useless because of Rachel's words, she could understand that Helena had also come to hate her because of Rachel's words.
'So, Helena doesn't matter.'
The reason Ariana could not sleep was the imperial decree.
According to the plan, Ariana should have been heading to the hideout she had prepared in advance with Shini by now. The continent was vast and well-prepared, so she was confident she could live in hiding for the rest of her life without ever seeing the Emperor.
From the very beginning, ever since she returned to time, her plan was to live quietly in a place where no one's eyes could reach once she had finished jer revenge.
'I’ve developed lingering feelings...'
Ariana thought as she looked at the light green teddy bear on the bed.
Even though she could have escaped at any time, the reason she remained here was simply that her family held jer back out of lingering attachment.
As she received love and came to love, she started to covet so many things.
Father, family, and Cyrus.
There was a time when she thought that having just Shini was enough, but that wasn't the case anymore.
Ariana did not want to leave this safe place. Even if this choice caused many people to get hurt.
She could only sigh at her indecisiveness, which made her unable to easily hide her true selfishness, even as she mocked herself for it.
Geor told her to wait a few more days, but nothing has changed over the past few days. Now, she really has to leave this place.
'Still, I should say goodbye before leaving.'
She thought it was impolite to disappear without a word, and then she smiled bitterly.
'You're making another excuse not to leave.'
She wonders when her heart became so numb.
Ariana put on a robe and came out of the room. Lanster, who had been leaning against the wall, straightened up.
"Princess, are you going for a walk?"
"No, I was just thinking I might have some warm milk."
“If you had told me, I would have brought it.”
"It's okay. I feel stifled, so I want to walk a little."
Lanster quietly followed behind Ariana.
Ariana realized that if she were to run away, she would have to figure out a way to get rid of Lanster first.
A bright light shone through the gap in the closed kitchen door. When she opened the door, there was Geor.
A kettle sat on the small brazier on the cooking counter. Bubbling, the sound of water boiling inside the kettle could be heard.
A sword lay on the counter. Geor stared silently at the sword he had once wagered with Ariana, his arms crossed.
Not even realizing the water in the kettle was boiling.
“Geor.”
When she called out in a low voice, Geor slowly turned his head. For some reason, the scene approached very slowly.
Slightly swaying navy hair and purple eyes shining beneath the flowing bangs. Unable to take her eyes off him, she stared blankly, and as Geor picked up his sword and sheathed it, he asked.
"Can't sleep?"
“Looks like you can’t sleep either, brother. Are you going to have some tea?”
“Yeah. Do you want a drink too?”
As Ariana nodded, Geor opened the cupboard and took out a teacup. Opening the box containing the tea leaves, Geor skillfully brewed the tea and pushed a teacup toward Ariana.
The two stood by the kitchen counter and savored the fragrant tea.
“Geor.”
"Yes?"
"I really have to leave now."
“...”
"I will say it once again: it does not mean we will never meet again. I am simply leaving the East to avoid the Emperor's eyes. You can pin all the blame on me if you want. I have prepared a way to survive no matter what."
Geor stared intently at Ariana and spoke.
“You don’t want to leave, Ariana.”
"I found out that there are things in this world that you have to do even if you don't want to."
“Yes, but you don’t need to. The Princess we love doesn’t have to do things she doesn’t want to do. Didn’t you come to the East precisely because you wanted to?”
“No. I...”
"You said you had to do a lot of things you didn't want to do, right? So you don't have to do that anymore, Ariana."
Geor's voice was so warm that she wished that warmth would remain in the world. She did not want to see his body grow cold, just as it had in vanished time.
"You hated me, brother."
"Yes?"
“When I first came to the East, you hated me. You were wary and suspicious of me, afraid I would put the East in danger. And now, I really am putting the East in danger. So why are you holding onto me? Why are you so affectionate that you make it impossible for me to escape?”
"I never hated you. I was just scared."
"It's just that."
"It's different, Ariana."
Geor looked down at his pretty younger sister, the lovely woman, who was looking up at him with wet eyes.
"It is very different."
It was scary.
He was scared from the moment he saw Ariana's face as she lifted her head after jumping off the wagon and rolling around, and from the moment he was captivated by the sky reflected in her eyes.
He was afraid that he would get endlessly drawn in, that he wouldn't be able to escape, and that he wouldn't be able to think of anything else.
Just like now.
It was difficult just to keep his hand pressed tightly against the side of his thigh, preventing it from reaching out toward her fair cheek. It was overwhelming just to try not to stroke her cheek, which was bound to be incredibly soft, and not to covet her lips, which were bound to be excessively sweet.
Even though he knew where her heart was headed, he felt sorry, pitiful, futile, and scared for his inability to stop himself.
If I tell you I love you, how would you react?
She will probably smile. She will give a picture-perfect smile, devoid of emotion. And she will say. Thank you.
Geor knew that the moment he revealed these feelings, Ariana would disappear. He knew that for the sake of the Eastern Realm, for the Eastern Lord, and for Geor, she would vanish without a trace and never show herself again.
So he couldn't even show Ariana this fragment of emotion.
“When I first saw my sister, you were so pretty, lovely, and pitiful that I was scared, Ariana. I was afraid that something more precious than my life might come into my life.”
Geor packaged his feelings under a different name.
“Just as you are prepared to give up everything for the East, so are we. So, Ariana, stay with us. Don’t let Father lose you again.”
“Geor...”
It was when Ariana was about to say something.
Just as it seemed to be getting noisy outside the kitchen, the door burst open.
“Ariana!”
Ariana turned her head at the loud voice and opened her eyes wide.
"Grandfather..."
Since Cyrus had officially left the Empire, he was currently staying in the western building attached to the mansion that the East had rented.
Just as Ariana could not sleep, Cyrus was also awake.
"I still haven't found it."
"Yes."
Louis, who was standing in front of Cyrus, wore a look of pity.
Andrei and Isaac led the knights and rushed to support the Kingdom of Wapian. Riding at top speed without rest, they arrived at their destination earlier than planned and were fighting against Paganus while searching for the lost previous Black Knights in their spare time.
However, there has been no good news yet.
“What should I do...”
If there were no problems, there would be no reason to be this anxious.
However, there were far too many problems at that time.
From the imperial decree issued to Ariana to the Western Lord, and to Paganus.
"And there is still no news about the whereabouts of the Western Lord?"
“Yes, they found out that he left the West about a month ago, but they say they haven't been able to find out his whereabouts since then.”
“There must be someone helping them. It is probably Paganus. What on earth are they plotting? Could it be that they intended to poison the Crown Prince and, taking advantage of the chaos in the Imperial Household, strike the Northern and Eastern Territories from a different direction? But dealing with both simultaneously will be difficult.”
Louis stared quietly at Cyrus, who was deep in thought, and spoke.
“My Lord. Abandon the Empire.”
Cyrus raised his head and met Louis's eyes.
“Abandon the empire.”
"You are likely familiar with the characteristics of a failed monarch. Most failed rulers lose their country because they are consumed by the stubborn belief that their own ways are correct, acting without foresight. The Emperor's current behavior is exactly that."
"The Empire has been at peace for too long. The Emperor has become addicted to the Western Lord's sweet advice."
“Yes, there is no answer for the Empire. Even if this problem is solved, it will happen again. Unless the Emperor changes.”
“First, the Empire still has many allies. We cannot turn all those countries against each other alone. Besides, we have no justification.”
The Emperor crossed the line regarding the East. He issued an imperial decree to the Princess of the East, the consort of my lord. Furthermore, he incurred public outrage by arresting the Princess of the East and the Emperor and imprisoning them in an underground dungeon without any evidence whatsoever.
“Of course, it would prove the Emperor’s foolishness, but that does not serve as a justification to attack the Empire. It might be for an Eastern Lord, though.”
Louis's eyes lit up.
“The Princess Consort is in a situation where she must marry the Fifth Prince; do you think the Eastern Lord will just sit idly by?”
Cyrus narrowed his eyebrows.
“Louis, I don’t want to use Ariana’s marriage issues.”
Ariana quietly got out of bed.
It was late at night, but she couldn't fall asleep.
It has been a few days since the Third Prince and Victoria confessed their crimes in detail and were imprisoned in the dungeon.
Those responsible for Ariana's death were now fulfilling their responsibilities. She heard that Royal Consort Aelra had gone mad, the Third Prince and Rachel were distraught, and Victoria was wailing every day in search of Ariana.
The Emperor, perhaps feeling sorry for having suspected Ariana, sent a message saying that if she wanted, she could go to the dungeon and mock them, but Ariana had no intention of doing so.
There is nothing more futile than dying without ever seeing the face of the one you hate.
Ariana was like that, too.
'It was Helena who came to kill me back then.'
Helena quickly ran away.
Helena ended up living the life Ariana had to live in the past, but she did not act foolishly like the Ariana of old. Aside from marrying Ingo Alfreich, she was not used by Western Lord or Victoria, and she disappeared as soon as she felt an ominous premonition.
Cyrus, who visited earlier today, said
"I found out where Helena escaped to. What should I do? Should I kill her?"
The reason she answered that it wasn't necessary was not that she had forgiven Helena.
Even when she was revived, her heart was pitch black with hatred and a thirst for revenge against them. She poured all her time and emotions entirely into vengeance. Her only wish was to make them feel the same despair he had felt.
However, she met her father and ended up dipping her toes into the family's affection. It was so warm and radiant, so excessively sparkling, that it lifted away the darkness within Ariana little by little.
Helena told Ariana she was sorry. In fact, she hadn't tried to bring Ariana down since then.
The reason she was able to project her past plight onto Helena, who had lived in silence, must be because her heart was filled with just that much warmth.
So, just as she thought she was useless because of Rachel's words, she could understand that Helena had also come to hate her because of Rachel's words.
'So, Helena doesn't matter.'
The reason Ariana could not sleep was the imperial decree.
According to the plan, Ariana should have been heading to the hideout she had prepared in advance with Shini by now. The continent was vast and well-prepared, so she was confident she could live in hiding for the rest of her life without ever seeing the Emperor.
From the very beginning, ever since she returned to time, her plan was to live quietly in a place where no one's eyes could reach once she had finished jer revenge.
'I’ve developed lingering feelings...'
Ariana thought as she looked at the light green teddy bear on the bed.
Even though she could have escaped at any time, the reason she remained here was simply that her family held jer back out of lingering attachment.
As she received love and came to love, she started to covet so many things.
Father, family, and Cyrus.
There was a time when she thought that having just Shini was enough, but that wasn't the case anymore.
Ariana did not want to leave this safe place. Even if this choice caused many people to get hurt.
She could only sigh at her indecisiveness, which made her unable to easily hide her true selfishness, even as she mocked herself for it.
Geor told her to wait a few more days, but nothing has changed over the past few days. Now, she really has to leave this place.
'Still, I should say goodbye before leaving.'
She thought it was impolite to disappear without a word, and then she smiled bitterly.
'You're making another excuse not to leave.'
She wonders when her heart became so numb.
Ariana put on a robe and came out of the room. Lanster, who had been leaning against the wall, straightened up.
"Princess, are you going for a walk?"
"No, I was just thinking I might have some warm milk."
“If you had told me, I would have brought it.”
"It's okay. I feel stifled, so I want to walk a little."
Lanster quietly followed behind Ariana.
Ariana realized that if she were to run away, she would have to figure out a way to get rid of Lanster first.
A bright light shone through the gap in the closed kitchen door. When she opened the door, there was Geor.
A kettle sat on the small brazier on the cooking counter. Bubbling, the sound of water boiling inside the kettle could be heard.
A sword lay on the counter. Geor stared silently at the sword he had once wagered with Ariana, his arms crossed.
Not even realizing the water in the kettle was boiling.
“Geor.”
When she called out in a low voice, Geor slowly turned his head. For some reason, the scene approached very slowly.
Slightly swaying navy hair and purple eyes shining beneath the flowing bangs. Unable to take her eyes off him, she stared blankly, and as Geor picked up his sword and sheathed it, he asked.
"Can't sleep?"
“Looks like you can’t sleep either, brother. Are you going to have some tea?”
“Yeah. Do you want a drink too?”
As Ariana nodded, Geor opened the cupboard and took out a teacup. Opening the box containing the tea leaves, Geor skillfully brewed the tea and pushed a teacup toward Ariana.
The two stood by the kitchen counter and savored the fragrant tea.
“Geor.”
"Yes?"
"I really have to leave now."
“...”
"I will say it once again: it does not mean we will never meet again. I am simply leaving the East to avoid the Emperor's eyes. You can pin all the blame on me if you want. I have prepared a way to survive no matter what."
Geor stared intently at Ariana and spoke.
“You don’t want to leave, Ariana.”
"I found out that there are things in this world that you have to do even if you don't want to."
“Yes, but you don’t need to. The Princess we love doesn’t have to do things she doesn’t want to do. Didn’t you come to the East precisely because you wanted to?”
“No. I...”
"You said you had to do a lot of things you didn't want to do, right? So you don't have to do that anymore, Ariana."
Geor's voice was so warm that she wished that warmth would remain in the world. She did not want to see his body grow cold, just as it had in vanished time.
"You hated me, brother."
"Yes?"
“When I first came to the East, you hated me. You were wary and suspicious of me, afraid I would put the East in danger. And now, I really am putting the East in danger. So why are you holding onto me? Why are you so affectionate that you make it impossible for me to escape?”
"I never hated you. I was just scared."
"It's just that."
"It's different, Ariana."
Geor looked down at his pretty younger sister, the lovely woman, who was looking up at him with wet eyes.
"It is very different."
It was scary.
He was scared from the moment he saw Ariana's face as she lifted her head after jumping off the wagon and rolling around, and from the moment he was captivated by the sky reflected in her eyes.
He was afraid that he would get endlessly drawn in, that he wouldn't be able to escape, and that he wouldn't be able to think of anything else.
Just like now.
It was difficult just to keep his hand pressed tightly against the side of his thigh, preventing it from reaching out toward her fair cheek. It was overwhelming just to try not to stroke her cheek, which was bound to be incredibly soft, and not to covet her lips, which were bound to be excessively sweet.
Even though he knew where her heart was headed, he felt sorry, pitiful, futile, and scared for his inability to stop himself.
If I tell you I love you, how would you react?
She will probably smile. She will give a picture-perfect smile, devoid of emotion. And she will say. Thank you.
Geor knew that the moment he revealed these feelings, Ariana would disappear. He knew that for the sake of the Eastern Realm, for the Eastern Lord, and for Geor, she would vanish without a trace and never show herself again.
So he couldn't even show Ariana this fragment of emotion.
“When I first saw my sister, you were so pretty, lovely, and pitiful that I was scared, Ariana. I was afraid that something more precious than my life might come into my life.”
Geor packaged his feelings under a different name.
“Just as you are prepared to give up everything for the East, so are we. So, Ariana, stay with us. Don’t let Father lose you again.”
“Geor...”
It was when Ariana was about to say something.
Just as it seemed to be getting noisy outside the kitchen, the door burst open.
“Ariana!”
Ariana turned her head at the loud voice and opened her eyes wide.
"Grandfather..."
***
Since Cyrus had officially left the Empire, he was currently staying in the western building attached to the mansion that the East had rented.
Just as Ariana could not sleep, Cyrus was also awake.
"I still haven't found it."
"Yes."
Louis, who was standing in front of Cyrus, wore a look of pity.
Andrei and Isaac led the knights and rushed to support the Kingdom of Wapian. Riding at top speed without rest, they arrived at their destination earlier than planned and were fighting against Paganus while searching for the lost previous Black Knights in their spare time.
However, there has been no good news yet.
“What should I do...”
If there were no problems, there would be no reason to be this anxious.
However, there were far too many problems at that time.
From the imperial decree issued to Ariana to the Western Lord, and to Paganus.
"And there is still no news about the whereabouts of the Western Lord?"
“Yes, they found out that he left the West about a month ago, but they say they haven't been able to find out his whereabouts since then.”
“There must be someone helping them. It is probably Paganus. What on earth are they plotting? Could it be that they intended to poison the Crown Prince and, taking advantage of the chaos in the Imperial Household, strike the Northern and Eastern Territories from a different direction? But dealing with both simultaneously will be difficult.”
Louis stared quietly at Cyrus, who was deep in thought, and spoke.
“My Lord. Abandon the Empire.”
Cyrus raised his head and met Louis's eyes.
“Abandon the empire.”
"You are likely familiar with the characteristics of a failed monarch. Most failed rulers lose their country because they are consumed by the stubborn belief that their own ways are correct, acting without foresight. The Emperor's current behavior is exactly that."
"The Empire has been at peace for too long. The Emperor has become addicted to the Western Lord's sweet advice."
“Yes, there is no answer for the Empire. Even if this problem is solved, it will happen again. Unless the Emperor changes.”
“First, the Empire still has many allies. We cannot turn all those countries against each other alone. Besides, we have no justification.”
The Emperor crossed the line regarding the East. He issued an imperial decree to the Princess of the East, the consort of my lord. Furthermore, he incurred public outrage by arresting the Princess of the East and the Emperor and imprisoning them in an underground dungeon without any evidence whatsoever.
“Of course, it would prove the Emperor’s foolishness, but that does not serve as a justification to attack the Empire. It might be for an Eastern Lord, though.”
Louis's eyes lit up.
“The Princess Consort is in a situation where she must marry the Fifth Prince; do you think the Eastern Lord will just sit idly by?”
Cyrus narrowed his eyebrows.
“Louis, I don’t want to use Ariana’s marriage issues.”
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