"I am applying because it is what you want to do, but I know better than anyone that the reason you write is to divorce me."
Stella pursed her lips. But she had nothing to say.
"Today is a bit tough."
Kendrick returned to his office. Stella was left alone in the hallway. She did not follow him to clear up the misunderstanding.
'Anyway...'
Kendrick, you end up meeting someone else later.
'Loving me and clinging to me like this right now is just a fleeting moment anyway.'
At first, she just hated this life. So she wanted a divorce. However, as time passed, things unfolded differently from how she remembered them. She started to grow attached to this life again. Then, she became scared.
'Kendrick's mind will definitely change. And...'
She doesn't want to be hurt again. She didn't want to go back to the days when she was constantly anxious about being abandoned and neglected like before. He could call her a coward for being scared of things that hadn't even happened yet.
'I don't want to see you change your mind again.'
No matter how deeply Kendrick was falling for Stella right now because of the potion, that love would be over once its effects wore off. And she didn't want to hold onto his heart with the potion either.
For the first time since Kendrick drank the love potion, a chill ran between the couple. Stella felt a lump in her throat. She absentmindedly brushed her hair back, glanced sideways at Kendrick, and then turned her gaze back to her book.
Crunch.
The sound of Kendrick chewing candy was heard.
Roy returned safely to the Marquis's mansion. And the next day, Roy noticed that Stella was not in a good mood.
"Stella. Are you in a lot of trouble because of me?"
"No. It's not like that."
Stella's gaze was fixed on the floor rather than Roy, and the corners of her mouth drooped. Roy was waiting for the right moment to speak to her. Just then, Stella suddenly lifted her head.
"Roy, what if one person likes another person too much?"
"Yes."
Roy listened to her words.
"But the person who is loved has to leave that person someday."
He also nodded.
"How can you leave without hurting them?"
'Because even if you acted mean or tried to make them love something else, nothing worked.'
After arguing with Kendrick, Roy's mind remained unsettled. He clenched and unclenched his fist slightly. He noticed that she was getting ready to leave. He didn't want Stella to be preparing to leave. He wanted her to hold onto hope. But first, to answer Stella's question.
"There is no such thing.'
"Yes?"
Her worries didn't make sense.
"That's a really bad idea. Of course, they'll be sad if you leave. It's not like you're not going to leave, so leaving a lingering feeling while being considerate of them."
Losing a loved one is sad, no matter what one does. It could not be avoided.
"Ah..."
Stella sighed.
"There is no way."
"You should have just been honest. That would be showing consideration for that person."
As he spoke, Roy felt a sense of bitterness. It seemed that he wasn't the one she was worried about. In that case, naturally.
"At least they can prepare themself to let go."
It must be Kendrick. She was worried about Kendrick after she left. The atmosphere sank heavily. Roy raised the corners of his mouth slightly.
'Preparing to let go.'
It seemed like every word was true. It was ridiculous to even hope that Kendrick wouldn't get hurt without telling him the truth. He fidgeted with his fingers. He could see a direction for what to do. Roy wanted Stella not to think about Kendrick any further. To change the subject, he opened a piece of writing Stella had revised.
"So I read this article."
He intended to praise her, saying she was much better after the fix. However, Stella flatly refused.
"Roy, I can't do the critique today."
Stella got up before even hearing Roy's answer.
"Why?"
"I have something urgent to do. Sorry, please write to me. Let's reschedule our meeting."
Then, clutching the bag, she quickly stood up. Roy didn't even have time to stop her. He answered dejectedly.
"Yes."
He thought as he watched Stella's retreating figure as she hurriedly left.
'You look anxious.'
The reason he rarely talks to Stella about her illness. And the reason he is not ready to let Stella go.
'I absolutely can't let you go.'
Roy is determined to save Stella's life by any means necessary. Afraid that Stella might panic, Roy did not mention the fact again, even after learning that she was terminally ill. He simply quietly looks for a way to cure the disease behind the scenes.
Stella went into the bedroom. As expected, Kendrick was not in the bedroom.
'Now that I'm actually about to say it, I'm trembling.'
She remembered last night, when only cold air had flowed. But once she actually got home, she felt weak. She needed time to compose herself. She wanted to explain things calmly to Kendrick. When Stella opened the study door, her body froze.
'Why is Kendrick here?'
He slowly turned around. His neat appearance caught her eye anew. Stella approached him, making footsteps.
"You came back a bit early today."
"Why are you here?"
"I have something to tell you."
Stella stood in front of him. Unconsciously, she narrowed the distance between herself and him and stroked Kendrick's cheek.
"I'm sorry for getting angry."
His low voice brushed past her ears. Stella nodded.
"I did it because I was angry."
Kendrick was troubled by what Stella had said the day she got drunk after drinking wine.
'I know no one but you, to the point where it hurts my heart like this. I got angry when you said it was okay to see other women.'
He stroked Stella's cheek.
"It's okay."
"No matter how much I think about it, I can't divorce you."
That remark didn't feel unpleasant, either. Stella still doesn't believe in love. However, the current Kendrick hasn't even cheated yet. It would be foolish to fiercely hate him for that.
"Stella, seeing you still makes me feel good, and my heart flutters."
Kendrick kissed Stella's fingers.
"It's so deep that I want to hide it tightly in my pocket and never show it to anyone."
Stella smiled softly. Kendrick's face came closer. Their breaths overlapped, and their lips met.
'It's warm.'
She didn't dislike Kendrick's tongue entwining hers. She didn't know if this could be defined as love, but her feelings at that moment weren't pushing Kendrick away. The short kiss ended, and their breaths parted.
'Lips...'
Kendrick's warmth still lingered on her lips. Stella fiddled with her lips.
"I'm sorry for kissing you without permission, too."
She burst into sweet laughter. The word "kiss" felt somehow embarrassing. They've done this countless times as a married couple, so why is it feeling this way today? Stella was now ready to speak to Kendrick.
"I have something to say, too."
"Tell me anything."
"There is something I’ve been hiding from Kendrick."
Kendrick clenched his fist tightly. As long as there wasn't talk of another man, it would be fine. No, even if such words came out, it didn't matter. He could just keep that man away from Stella.
"Actually, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness."
A long silence followed.
"What...?"
Kendrick couldn't believe Stella's words. Kendrick's pupils trembled helplessly.
"Lies. There's no way you could die."
She was reminded of Kendrick from before her regression. Even back then, Kendrick didn't believe Stella. This time, too, he doesn't believe that Stella is terminally ill. For some reason, she let out a bitter smile. Before, it felt like he didn't care whether she lived or died, but now Kendrick seemed to be escaping reality.
"Why on earth?"
"They say it's a disease of loneliness. I found out a little while ago, but I couldn't tell you because I was afraid you would worry."
Kendrick let out a wry laugh, dumbfounded. He thought he had her. He thought he had become the person closest to her as her husband, but Stella was still not his woman. She had been staying by his side while harboring the thought of leaving.
"Don't talk nonsense. That doctor is a quack. Bring him in front of me right now."
Kendrick's neck veins bulged as if he were agitated. Stella sat on his lap and stroked his cheek with a pitiful look.
"Please believe me."
"No."
"I told you to prepare yourself mentally. I thought that would be the polite thing to do for you."
'Polite.'
His mouth tasted metallic. He had bitten his lip so hard that it was wounded. Stella grabbed his jaw to stop him from biting it. Kendrick let out a wry laugh. How difficult it must have been for her. Not even telling him it hurt.
"Still, don't be too impatient. If things go well, the illness might be cured, and even if I do die, it won't happen immediately. At least you have a few years left to mentally prepare yourself..."
"It's okay."
He interrupted Stella. And he lightly kissed the side of her lips.
"That isn't important at all."
And, smiling coldly, he shook his head.
"I won't let you die."
His eyes gleamed with a piercing intensity.
Starting the next day, small changes began to occur in this mansion. The first was the food.
"What is all this, Kendrick?"
"It's a health food for you."
Kendrick seemed to have gathered all the foods said to be good for the body.
"They say they eat things like this in the East."
He even brought an Eastern pill. Stella was not someone who could handle bitter things. However, seeing Kendrick's sincerity, she put it in her mouth.
"Ugh. It's too bitter."
It was a taste she never wanted to eat again. But Kendrick's eyes sparkled. Their eyes filled with the determination to cure Stella's illness no matter what. Stella bit her lip as if she didn't want to eat it.
'Something like this isn't going to cure loneliness.'
However, after seeing his expression, she simply could not refuse the food. From that day on, she had to put a bite of every food rumored to be rare from all over the country into her mouth, one by one. A giant squid with eleven legs, goat meat said to produce golden milk, and a hundred-year strawberry said to bloom once every hundred years. They were all unbelievably precious.
"Kendrick."
'Do I really have to eat this?'
Stella swallowed the words tightly. It was because of the look in Kendrick's eyes as he watched Stella put the lamb in her mouth with a proud expression.
"Why?"
"Ah, no. I meant Kendrick should try it too."
"I'm fine. Stella, you eat a lot by yourself. That's how you stay strong."
Stella laughed awkwardly and put the food in her mouth.
'At this rate, I'll burst and die first.'
Stella pursed her lips. But she had nothing to say.
"Today is a bit tough."
Kendrick returned to his office. Stella was left alone in the hallway. She did not follow him to clear up the misunderstanding.
'Anyway...'
Kendrick, you end up meeting someone else later.
'Loving me and clinging to me like this right now is just a fleeting moment anyway.'
At first, she just hated this life. So she wanted a divorce. However, as time passed, things unfolded differently from how she remembered them. She started to grow attached to this life again. Then, she became scared.
'Kendrick's mind will definitely change. And...'
She doesn't want to be hurt again. She didn't want to go back to the days when she was constantly anxious about being abandoned and neglected like before. He could call her a coward for being scared of things that hadn't even happened yet.
'I don't want to see you change your mind again.'
No matter how deeply Kendrick was falling for Stella right now because of the potion, that love would be over once its effects wore off. And she didn't want to hold onto his heart with the potion either.
For the first time since Kendrick drank the love potion, a chill ran between the couple. Stella felt a lump in her throat. She absentmindedly brushed her hair back, glanced sideways at Kendrick, and then turned her gaze back to her book.
Crunch.
The sound of Kendrick chewing candy was heard.
***
Roy returned safely to the Marquis's mansion. And the next day, Roy noticed that Stella was not in a good mood.
"Stella. Are you in a lot of trouble because of me?"
"No. It's not like that."
Stella's gaze was fixed on the floor rather than Roy, and the corners of her mouth drooped. Roy was waiting for the right moment to speak to her. Just then, Stella suddenly lifted her head.
"Roy, what if one person likes another person too much?"
"Yes."
Roy listened to her words.
"But the person who is loved has to leave that person someday."
He also nodded.
"How can you leave without hurting them?"
'Because even if you acted mean or tried to make them love something else, nothing worked.'
After arguing with Kendrick, Roy's mind remained unsettled. He clenched and unclenched his fist slightly. He noticed that she was getting ready to leave. He didn't want Stella to be preparing to leave. He wanted her to hold onto hope. But first, to answer Stella's question.
"There is no such thing.'
"Yes?"
Her worries didn't make sense.
"That's a really bad idea. Of course, they'll be sad if you leave. It's not like you're not going to leave, so leaving a lingering feeling while being considerate of them."
Losing a loved one is sad, no matter what one does. It could not be avoided.
"Ah..."
Stella sighed.
"There is no way."
"You should have just been honest. That would be showing consideration for that person."
As he spoke, Roy felt a sense of bitterness. It seemed that he wasn't the one she was worried about. In that case, naturally.
"At least they can prepare themself to let go."
It must be Kendrick. She was worried about Kendrick after she left. The atmosphere sank heavily. Roy raised the corners of his mouth slightly.
'Preparing to let go.'
It seemed like every word was true. It was ridiculous to even hope that Kendrick wouldn't get hurt without telling him the truth. He fidgeted with his fingers. He could see a direction for what to do. Roy wanted Stella not to think about Kendrick any further. To change the subject, he opened a piece of writing Stella had revised.
"So I read this article."
He intended to praise her, saying she was much better after the fix. However, Stella flatly refused.
"Roy, I can't do the critique today."
Stella got up before even hearing Roy's answer.
"Why?"
"I have something urgent to do. Sorry, please write to me. Let's reschedule our meeting."
Then, clutching the bag, she quickly stood up. Roy didn't even have time to stop her. He answered dejectedly.
"Yes."
He thought as he watched Stella's retreating figure as she hurriedly left.
'You look anxious.'
The reason he rarely talks to Stella about her illness. And the reason he is not ready to let Stella go.
'I absolutely can't let you go.'
Roy is determined to save Stella's life by any means necessary. Afraid that Stella might panic, Roy did not mention the fact again, even after learning that she was terminally ill. He simply quietly looks for a way to cure the disease behind the scenes.
***
Stella went into the bedroom. As expected, Kendrick was not in the bedroom.
'Now that I'm actually about to say it, I'm trembling.'
She remembered last night, when only cold air had flowed. But once she actually got home, she felt weak. She needed time to compose herself. She wanted to explain things calmly to Kendrick. When Stella opened the study door, her body froze.
'Why is Kendrick here?'
He slowly turned around. His neat appearance caught her eye anew. Stella approached him, making footsteps.
"You came back a bit early today."
"Why are you here?"
"I have something to tell you."
Stella stood in front of him. Unconsciously, she narrowed the distance between herself and him and stroked Kendrick's cheek.
"I'm sorry for getting angry."
His low voice brushed past her ears. Stella nodded.
"I did it because I was angry."
Kendrick was troubled by what Stella had said the day she got drunk after drinking wine.
'I know no one but you, to the point where it hurts my heart like this. I got angry when you said it was okay to see other women.'
He stroked Stella's cheek.
"It's okay."
"No matter how much I think about it, I can't divorce you."
That remark didn't feel unpleasant, either. Stella still doesn't believe in love. However, the current Kendrick hasn't even cheated yet. It would be foolish to fiercely hate him for that.
"Stella, seeing you still makes me feel good, and my heart flutters."
Kendrick kissed Stella's fingers.
"It's so deep that I want to hide it tightly in my pocket and never show it to anyone."
Stella smiled softly. Kendrick's face came closer. Their breaths overlapped, and their lips met.
'It's warm.'
She didn't dislike Kendrick's tongue entwining hers. She didn't know if this could be defined as love, but her feelings at that moment weren't pushing Kendrick away. The short kiss ended, and their breaths parted.
'Lips...'
Kendrick's warmth still lingered on her lips. Stella fiddled with her lips.
"I'm sorry for kissing you without permission, too."
She burst into sweet laughter. The word "kiss" felt somehow embarrassing. They've done this countless times as a married couple, so why is it feeling this way today? Stella was now ready to speak to Kendrick.
"I have something to say, too."
"Tell me anything."
"There is something I’ve been hiding from Kendrick."
Kendrick clenched his fist tightly. As long as there wasn't talk of another man, it would be fine. No, even if such words came out, it didn't matter. He could just keep that man away from Stella.
"Actually, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness."
A long silence followed.
"What...?"
Kendrick couldn't believe Stella's words. Kendrick's pupils trembled helplessly.
"Lies. There's no way you could die."
She was reminded of Kendrick from before her regression. Even back then, Kendrick didn't believe Stella. This time, too, he doesn't believe that Stella is terminally ill. For some reason, she let out a bitter smile. Before, it felt like he didn't care whether she lived or died, but now Kendrick seemed to be escaping reality.
"Why on earth?"
"They say it's a disease of loneliness. I found out a little while ago, but I couldn't tell you because I was afraid you would worry."
Kendrick let out a wry laugh, dumbfounded. He thought he had her. He thought he had become the person closest to her as her husband, but Stella was still not his woman. She had been staying by his side while harboring the thought of leaving.
"Don't talk nonsense. That doctor is a quack. Bring him in front of me right now."
Kendrick's neck veins bulged as if he were agitated. Stella sat on his lap and stroked his cheek with a pitiful look.
"Please believe me."
"No."
"I told you to prepare yourself mentally. I thought that would be the polite thing to do for you."
'Polite.'
His mouth tasted metallic. He had bitten his lip so hard that it was wounded. Stella grabbed his jaw to stop him from biting it. Kendrick let out a wry laugh. How difficult it must have been for her. Not even telling him it hurt.
"Still, don't be too impatient. If things go well, the illness might be cured, and even if I do die, it won't happen immediately. At least you have a few years left to mentally prepare yourself..."
"It's okay."
He interrupted Stella. And he lightly kissed the side of her lips.
"That isn't important at all."
And, smiling coldly, he shook his head.
"I won't let you die."
His eyes gleamed with a piercing intensity.
***
Starting the next day, small changes began to occur in this mansion. The first was the food.
"What is all this, Kendrick?"
"It's a health food for you."
Kendrick seemed to have gathered all the foods said to be good for the body.
"They say they eat things like this in the East."
He even brought an Eastern pill. Stella was not someone who could handle bitter things. However, seeing Kendrick's sincerity, she put it in her mouth.
"Ugh. It's too bitter."
It was a taste she never wanted to eat again. But Kendrick's eyes sparkled. Their eyes filled with the determination to cure Stella's illness no matter what. Stella bit her lip as if she didn't want to eat it.
'Something like this isn't going to cure loneliness.'
However, after seeing his expression, she simply could not refuse the food. From that day on, she had to put a bite of every food rumored to be rare from all over the country into her mouth, one by one. A giant squid with eleven legs, goat meat said to produce golden milk, and a hundred-year strawberry said to bloom once every hundred years. They were all unbelievably precious.
"Kendrick."
'Do I really have to eat this?'
Stella swallowed the words tightly. It was because of the look in Kendrick's eyes as he watched Stella put the lamb in her mouth with a proud expression.
"Why?"
"Ah, no. I meant Kendrick should try it too."
"I'm fine. Stella, you eat a lot by yourself. That's how you stay strong."
Stella laughed awkwardly and put the food in her mouth.
'At this rate, I'll burst and die first.'
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