(130) Why are we (2)
If only she hadn't been so cruel to Ariana back then, if only she had been friendly with her like she wanted, if only she had taken Ariana's side when her mother was bullying her.
'If that were the case, would you have run away with me?'
She thought that might be the case.
Ariana was different from Victoria. After Helena's marriage was decided, Victoria would smile mockingly whenever she saw Helena.
Now she doesn't even think about hating Victoria.
In the midst of all jer emotions, feeling utterly empty, only Ariana came to mind. Perhaps, just maybe, her sister, the only one who could have been on her side.
That's right.
Ariana was jer sister too.
Whatever the circumstances of the adults, Helena should not have acted like that.
But Helena, using the excuse that her mother hated her and that she couldn't help it, unleashed her jealousy, driving Ariana into a corner.
'Ariana, if you had stayed in the West, you would have been the one to marry Viscount Alfreich.'
This time, she learned that granddaughters were of only that much value to the Western Lord.
'And you must have felt the same way I do now. I would have mocked you without caring about such things...'
Like Victoria.
"So this is how you've lived. I can't stand even this brief moment. I want to die, but you've lived in this loneliness ever since you were a child."
The moment Helena realized her worth, the chains that had surrounded her were shattered. Raised spoiled by her parents' favor and never given the chance to grow up, Helena realized her place and became an adult.
'The adults among us...'
Helena thought of Ariana, who had been bullied so much, and who had approached her with genuine concern when Helena fell.
'There was only you.'
Helena picked up her pen.
She knew it was too late to regret and apologize now. But before she lost everything, there was something she wanted to tell Ariana.
So Helena wrote a letter to Ariana for the first time since she was born.
Helena called her maid and asked her to secretly send a letter, then sat on the bed and drank the poison she had prepared.
Ariana received a letter.
After much deliberation over whether to open the envelope and read the letter from Helena or just burn it, she opened it.
[Ariana, I'm sorry.
I wasn't a good sister to you.]
The handwriting was written with firm pressure, and there was sincerity in it.
Ariana slowly closed her eyes.
She never dreamed Helena would regret something like this. No, she never thought she'd think of Ariana in the first place.
'From the beginning.'
Helena wasn't a bad sister.
There were certainly times when things were going well. There were even times when Helena treated Ariana better than Victoria.
But then, suddenly, her attitude changed.
Ariana didn't know why then, but she thinks she knows now.
'Are you like that too? Are you like me?'
Just as Rachel had brainwashed Ariana into believing she was "useless and should never have been born," perhaps she had also brainwashed Helena. For both Ariana and Helena, their mother's words meant everything to them.
'But you could have chosen not to do that. You had every chance to escape that curse.'
Helena's situation was different from Ariana's.
Unlike Ariana, who had to strive to be loved by any means necessary, Helena had no need to crave her parents' affection.
'But you didn't do that. It was easier that way.'
She had no intention of forgiving Helena now that she regretted it.
When she was imprisoned in the basement of Rosen Castle, she vividly remembered Helena, who had come all the way there to witness Ariana's death. Her cold gaze and smile in those final moments were vivid as if they had happened yesterday.
So I will not forgive you. I will witness your despair and depravity with my own eyes. I will capture your final moments with these very eyes, just as you did.
Ariana crumpled up the letter and threw it in the trash can.
A few days later, news arrived that Helena had attempted suicide by poisoning herself just before her wedding. Fortunately, she was discovered early and survived, but she was in critical condition, unable to regain consciousness.
Then, for some reason, rather than thinking that things were going well, Ariana remembered a past from a long time ago.
-“Ariana. I got this from Dad, and I think it’ll suit you well. If Mom finds out I gave it to you, you’ll get in trouble, so keep it a secret. Wear it with me when you go out with me later.”
Memories of good days, she thought she forgotten, or rather, wanted to forget. Ariana still couldn't figure out why the memory of Helena treating her like a real sister was more vivid than the events just before my death.
-“Mom, Ariana didn’t do that. I told her to do it.”
-“Ariana, I overheard the maids talking, and they said Victoria was the prettiest of us all. In my eyes, you’re prettier, but no one else is seeing.”
Ariana slowly closed her eyes.
'The human heart is so fragile.'
Helena contributed to Ariana's death. She showed not a shred of sadness or regret when Ariana died.
'But that's all from a past life.'
It hasn't happened yet.
She never considered the possibility that those who hate would regret their actions before paying the price. Ariana knew they were so noble that they would never regret their choices.
But Helena regretted it. She apologized. And before she could pay the price, she chose death.
Ariana sighed deeply.
"You shouldn't die so easily, Helena. You should die in regret and despair before me. Just as I did before you."
Helena opened her eyes and realized that she was not dead.
An unfamiliar ceiling came into view. An unfamiliar scent, unfamiliar sunlight, an unfamiliar room, the feel of an unfamiliar blanket.
With these things, Helena guessed what had happened to her.
Luigi, the maid who noticed Helena's awakening belatedly, spoke quietly.
"His Excellency the Western Lord has ordered us not to reveal the young lady's condition to anyone. He has sent the young lady to the Viscount's mansion without a wedding, claiming it would bring disrepute to the Duke of Bronte. Now, the young lady..."
Tears fell from Luigi's eyes, who had been supporting Helena for a long time.
“You are Viscountess Alfreich.”
Helena chuckled.
“Yes, Viscountess Alfreich. I have become Viscountess Alfreich.”
Helena had a dream.
Even if she doesn't become a Northern Lord consort, she dreams of meeting a great man, falling in love, and having a wonderful wedding.
The dream, which could not even be a daydream, was shattered while Helena was struggling between life and death.
"I'm sorry, Miss. It was something I couldn't stop. There was nothing I could do."
"It was my grandfather's decision, so what can you do? Even my mother couldn't do anything about it."
She spoke in a self-deprecating voice and stared out the window.
The cloudy sky looked like it might rain at any moment.
"Miss. This old lady and the Viscount's younger sister seem to have unusual personalities. You should be careful."
Luigi's advice was good, after all. Helena planned to die again once the poison was ready. She had no intention of being manipulated by them. If Mother couldn't escape with me, I would.
'I can just run away, even if it's just by myself. To a place where no one can catch me.'
Would the Western Lord and her parents regret it? Would Victoria feel sorry?
As she was thinking about that, Luigi said.
“Oh, that’s right, Miss. That... Ariana sent you a letter.”
Helena opened her eyes wide and looked back at Luigi.
“Ariana?”
“Yes, this is...”
Luigi took a letter out of her skirt pocket and held it out.
Helena accepted the letter with trembling hands, never dreaming Ariana would reply.
What will it say?
It won't be good news. It'll definitely be a mixture of resentment and curses. Because she deserved it.
But even so, she must read it. Since she cornered Ariana, she must read her curse with her own eyes, hold it close to her heart, and then leave this world.
But the contents of the letter were completely different from what Helena had expected.
[Live, Helena. No one will understand your true feelings if you die. I don't even know your true feelings.]
Helena clutched the letter tightly in both hands.
The tears that had welled up in her eyes fell drop by drop onto the letter.
If someone else saw this, they might take it as a curse. But it didn't seem that way to Helena.
"You know how I feel, don't you? You're the only one who understands me, even though I've tormented you so terribly."
She felt forgiven.
It may not be true forgiveness, but if she tries, maybe they can build a good relationship someday.
It's going to be a terrible day, but she decided to live for it.
"Ariana, she ran away to his father, so why is she sending you letters now? Is she congratulating you on your marriage to Viscount Alfreich?"
At Luigi's sly words, Helena said.
“Don’t talk about Ariana like that, Luigi.”
"Yes?"
Helena said, burying her face in the letter.
“That kid is my younger sister.”
Victoria chuckled when she heard the news that Helena had woken up.
"The Duke and Duchess left for Alfreich Mansion as soon as they heard the news. Will you, too, come to visit?"
Victoria shook her head at the maid's words.
“No, they’re going to have a good time as a family, so there’s no need for me to go.”
Her parents, whom she had always considered to be great, failed to protect Helena from the Western Lord. It was a good thing she had put herself on good terms with the Western Lord in advance.
"It's obvious why my parents are personally visiting the Alfreich family. With such a strong family, they probably want to prevent them from even thinking about harming my sister."
"That's true. I heard that the old lady and his younger sister have unusual personalities. They used to do business with soldiers, so they're incredibly brash and vulgar."
"Yeah, well, that's just unfortunate for Helena. She wanted to marry a handsome man, but she never really had a proper relationship."
Even if the Duke and Duchess of Bronte's influence prevented the Alfreich family from treating Helena rudely, it would still be hell for Helena. Viscount Alfreich, whom Victoria briefly glimpsed, was a man of truly hideous features, with a face like a toad.
Victoria couldn't help but laugh whenever she thought of Viscount Alfreich. It was a mockery directed more at her mother than at Helena.
Look, Mother. The daughter you cherished so dearly has fallen into this state. You didn't even have the strength to protect her.
Although the perfume incident has caused a lot of turmoil, the situation will soon be resolved thanks to the financial power of the Alfreich family.
'Then what's left is...'
The Third Prince, Harold, obtains the Crown Prince's throne.
'I hope that day comes soon.'
What kind of expressions will Helena and Ariana have when that day comes?
She couldn't stand being curious about that.
If only she hadn't been so cruel to Ariana back then, if only she had been friendly with her like she wanted, if only she had taken Ariana's side when her mother was bullying her.
'If that were the case, would you have run away with me?'
She thought that might be the case.
Ariana was different from Victoria. After Helena's marriage was decided, Victoria would smile mockingly whenever she saw Helena.
Now she doesn't even think about hating Victoria.
In the midst of all jer emotions, feeling utterly empty, only Ariana came to mind. Perhaps, just maybe, her sister, the only one who could have been on her side.
That's right.
Ariana was jer sister too.
Whatever the circumstances of the adults, Helena should not have acted like that.
But Helena, using the excuse that her mother hated her and that she couldn't help it, unleashed her jealousy, driving Ariana into a corner.
'Ariana, if you had stayed in the West, you would have been the one to marry Viscount Alfreich.'
This time, she learned that granddaughters were of only that much value to the Western Lord.
'And you must have felt the same way I do now. I would have mocked you without caring about such things...'
Like Victoria.
"So this is how you've lived. I can't stand even this brief moment. I want to die, but you've lived in this loneliness ever since you were a child."
The moment Helena realized her worth, the chains that had surrounded her were shattered. Raised spoiled by her parents' favor and never given the chance to grow up, Helena realized her place and became an adult.
'The adults among us...'
Helena thought of Ariana, who had been bullied so much, and who had approached her with genuine concern when Helena fell.
'There was only you.'
Helena picked up her pen.
She knew it was too late to regret and apologize now. But before she lost everything, there was something she wanted to tell Ariana.
So Helena wrote a letter to Ariana for the first time since she was born.
Helena called her maid and asked her to secretly send a letter, then sat on the bed and drank the poison she had prepared.
***
Ariana received a letter.
After much deliberation over whether to open the envelope and read the letter from Helena or just burn it, she opened it.
[Ariana, I'm sorry.
I wasn't a good sister to you.]
The handwriting was written with firm pressure, and there was sincerity in it.
Ariana slowly closed her eyes.
She never dreamed Helena would regret something like this. No, she never thought she'd think of Ariana in the first place.
'From the beginning.'
Helena wasn't a bad sister.
There were certainly times when things were going well. There were even times when Helena treated Ariana better than Victoria.
But then, suddenly, her attitude changed.
Ariana didn't know why then, but she thinks she knows now.
'Are you like that too? Are you like me?'
Just as Rachel had brainwashed Ariana into believing she was "useless and should never have been born," perhaps she had also brainwashed Helena. For both Ariana and Helena, their mother's words meant everything to them.
'But you could have chosen not to do that. You had every chance to escape that curse.'
Helena's situation was different from Ariana's.
Unlike Ariana, who had to strive to be loved by any means necessary, Helena had no need to crave her parents' affection.
'But you didn't do that. It was easier that way.'
She had no intention of forgiving Helena now that she regretted it.
When she was imprisoned in the basement of Rosen Castle, she vividly remembered Helena, who had come all the way there to witness Ariana's death. Her cold gaze and smile in those final moments were vivid as if they had happened yesterday.
So I will not forgive you. I will witness your despair and depravity with my own eyes. I will capture your final moments with these very eyes, just as you did.
Ariana crumpled up the letter and threw it in the trash can.
A few days later, news arrived that Helena had attempted suicide by poisoning herself just before her wedding. Fortunately, she was discovered early and survived, but she was in critical condition, unable to regain consciousness.
Then, for some reason, rather than thinking that things were going well, Ariana remembered a past from a long time ago.
-“Ariana. I got this from Dad, and I think it’ll suit you well. If Mom finds out I gave it to you, you’ll get in trouble, so keep it a secret. Wear it with me when you go out with me later.”
Memories of good days, she thought she forgotten, or rather, wanted to forget. Ariana still couldn't figure out why the memory of Helena treating her like a real sister was more vivid than the events just before my death.
-“Mom, Ariana didn’t do that. I told her to do it.”
-“Ariana, I overheard the maids talking, and they said Victoria was the prettiest of us all. In my eyes, you’re prettier, but no one else is seeing.”
Ariana slowly closed her eyes.
'The human heart is so fragile.'
Helena contributed to Ariana's death. She showed not a shred of sadness or regret when Ariana died.
'But that's all from a past life.'
It hasn't happened yet.
She never considered the possibility that those who hate would regret their actions before paying the price. Ariana knew they were so noble that they would never regret their choices.
But Helena regretted it. She apologized. And before she could pay the price, she chose death.
Ariana sighed deeply.
"You shouldn't die so easily, Helena. You should die in regret and despair before me. Just as I did before you."
***
Helena opened her eyes and realized that she was not dead.
An unfamiliar ceiling came into view. An unfamiliar scent, unfamiliar sunlight, an unfamiliar room, the feel of an unfamiliar blanket.
With these things, Helena guessed what had happened to her.
Luigi, the maid who noticed Helena's awakening belatedly, spoke quietly.
"His Excellency the Western Lord has ordered us not to reveal the young lady's condition to anyone. He has sent the young lady to the Viscount's mansion without a wedding, claiming it would bring disrepute to the Duke of Bronte. Now, the young lady..."
Tears fell from Luigi's eyes, who had been supporting Helena for a long time.
“You are Viscountess Alfreich.”
Helena chuckled.
“Yes, Viscountess Alfreich. I have become Viscountess Alfreich.”
Helena had a dream.
Even if she doesn't become a Northern Lord consort, she dreams of meeting a great man, falling in love, and having a wonderful wedding.
The dream, which could not even be a daydream, was shattered while Helena was struggling between life and death.
"I'm sorry, Miss. It was something I couldn't stop. There was nothing I could do."
"It was my grandfather's decision, so what can you do? Even my mother couldn't do anything about it."
She spoke in a self-deprecating voice and stared out the window.
The cloudy sky looked like it might rain at any moment.
"Miss. This old lady and the Viscount's younger sister seem to have unusual personalities. You should be careful."
Luigi's advice was good, after all. Helena planned to die again once the poison was ready. She had no intention of being manipulated by them. If Mother couldn't escape with me, I would.
'I can just run away, even if it's just by myself. To a place where no one can catch me.'
Would the Western Lord and her parents regret it? Would Victoria feel sorry?
As she was thinking about that, Luigi said.
“Oh, that’s right, Miss. That... Ariana sent you a letter.”
Helena opened her eyes wide and looked back at Luigi.
“Ariana?”
“Yes, this is...”
Luigi took a letter out of her skirt pocket and held it out.
Helena accepted the letter with trembling hands, never dreaming Ariana would reply.
What will it say?
It won't be good news. It'll definitely be a mixture of resentment and curses. Because she deserved it.
But even so, she must read it. Since she cornered Ariana, she must read her curse with her own eyes, hold it close to her heart, and then leave this world.
But the contents of the letter were completely different from what Helena had expected.
[Live, Helena. No one will understand your true feelings if you die. I don't even know your true feelings.]
Helena clutched the letter tightly in both hands.
The tears that had welled up in her eyes fell drop by drop onto the letter.
If someone else saw this, they might take it as a curse. But it didn't seem that way to Helena.
"You know how I feel, don't you? You're the only one who understands me, even though I've tormented you so terribly."
She felt forgiven.
It may not be true forgiveness, but if she tries, maybe they can build a good relationship someday.
It's going to be a terrible day, but she decided to live for it.
"Ariana, she ran away to his father, so why is she sending you letters now? Is she congratulating you on your marriage to Viscount Alfreich?"
At Luigi's sly words, Helena said.
“Don’t talk about Ariana like that, Luigi.”
"Yes?"
Helena said, burying her face in the letter.
“That kid is my younger sister.”
***
Victoria chuckled when she heard the news that Helena had woken up.
"The Duke and Duchess left for Alfreich Mansion as soon as they heard the news. Will you, too, come to visit?"
Victoria shook her head at the maid's words.
“No, they’re going to have a good time as a family, so there’s no need for me to go.”
Her parents, whom she had always considered to be great, failed to protect Helena from the Western Lord. It was a good thing she had put herself on good terms with the Western Lord in advance.
"It's obvious why my parents are personally visiting the Alfreich family. With such a strong family, they probably want to prevent them from even thinking about harming my sister."
"That's true. I heard that the old lady and his younger sister have unusual personalities. They used to do business with soldiers, so they're incredibly brash and vulgar."
"Yeah, well, that's just unfortunate for Helena. She wanted to marry a handsome man, but she never really had a proper relationship."
Even if the Duke and Duchess of Bronte's influence prevented the Alfreich family from treating Helena rudely, it would still be hell for Helena. Viscount Alfreich, whom Victoria briefly glimpsed, was a man of truly hideous features, with a face like a toad.
Victoria couldn't help but laugh whenever she thought of Viscount Alfreich. It was a mockery directed more at her mother than at Helena.
Look, Mother. The daughter you cherished so dearly has fallen into this state. You didn't even have the strength to protect her.
Although the perfume incident has caused a lot of turmoil, the situation will soon be resolved thanks to the financial power of the Alfreich family.
'Then what's left is...'
The Third Prince, Harold, obtains the Crown Prince's throne.
'I hope that day comes soon.'
What kind of expressions will Helena and Ariana have when that day comes?
She couldn't stand being curious about that.
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