Phew. Kendrick let out a sigh. Candy wrappers were scattered in front of him. He was sick and tired of candy. But if he didn't eat at least this, his heart would ache unbearably.
It would be over if Stella just held his hand, though.
These days, it was hard to even see her face.
"Aren't you too busy these days?"
Kendrick held Stella's hand and fidgeted. Eventually, he had come to Stella's study first. Stella didn't look very happy, perhaps because the writing wasn't flowing well.
"Why don't you leave the orphanage work to someone else?"
"I started this myself, after all. If I want to write fairy tales, I have to observe children a lot anyway."
Kendrick sat side by side with Stella, holding her left and right hands tightly as they handled their respective tasks. Then, with a thud, blood trickled down from Stella's nose.
"Stella."
Kendrick held a handkerchief to Stella's nose.
"Lie down and rest."
"No. I have to meet Roy tomorrow, so I need to finish the revisions before then."
"You're getting a nosebleed."
Kendrick let out a sigh.
"It's just because I'm prone to nosebleeds. I didn't overexert myself."
He looked at Stella with a lamenting expression. He had always been dissatisfied with Stella's weak constitution, but after he took that strange potion, his dissatisfaction was beyond measure. Because Stella was sick, he felt restless and angry.
"Rest at least until the nosebleed stops."
At Kendrick's serious demeanor, Stella moved to a different spot and leaned back on the sofa. In truth, Stella did not want Kendrick to see her with a nosebleed like this.
"I'll handle it. You can go now."
As she quietly pushed him away, Kendrick's face clearly showed his disappointment. Kendrick sighed again and stroked Stella's head.
"Don't tilt your head back, lean forward. We need to drain the unnecessary blood."
Stella moved her head as he had said. For some reason, the corners of her eyes stung. She felt dizzy, even though she hadn't lost much blood.
"Do you really have to live such a busy life?"
"Yes?"
"There is no need to push yourself to the limit. No matter how much you covet the position of Imperial Writer."
Stella was about to say something, but clamped her mouth shut. It was very difficult to tell him that if she did not obtain Hajean's magic stone, she would die from loneliness disease.
'If I confess that I'm terminally ill, Kendrick will cling to me.'
As long as she knew the future where he would fall in love with another woman, she did not want to use the illness as a weapon to hold onto his heart.
'After I die...'
What about Kendrick?
Even before she went back in time, she was curious. How would Kendrick react if she died? Would he grieve for a moment but quickly overcome it to bring a second Duchess into the house? Or would he feel relieved, as if a painful tooth had been pulled?
'Well, that was then.'
Kendrick and Stella's situation was different now than before. Kendrick was addicted to Stella because of a love potion. When separated from Stella, without the control of candy and chocolate, he invariably feels heart pain. But what if Stella were to die?
'This man...'
Will he be able to live properly?
Then, a chuckle escaped her. Stella's first goal was to cure her illness, and her second was to divorce Kendrick and leave the Adrian ducal family. Yet, she was worrying about the husband who would be left behind after her death. It was quite ridiculous.
'He is someone who will become a stranger someday.'
Stella smiled bitterly.
"It has stopped now".
Kendrick carefully withdrew the handkerchief. Concerned about the blood-stained handkerchief, she reached out her hand.
"This is unusable now. I'll have someone throw it away."
"It's fine. I'll just wash it and use it. More importantly."
Kendrick stared intently at Stella's face. Stella fiddled with her cheek, worried that something might be on her face.
"Your face looks so gaunt."
Kendrick's lips lightly touched Stella's forehead and then pulled away. His warmth lingered lukewarmly on her forehead. The sudden waft of his body scent left a lasting impression.
"I'm going to tell the chef to prepare a healthy meal today."
Stella nodded silently. She continued to touch her forehead even after Kendrick had left.
Roy was just as worried about her overwork.
"I have to become an Imperial writer no matter what."
Stella declared this when the Imperial Family announced that they were selecting an exclusive writer. Roy did cheer for her to achieve her goal.
"Stella, there are many ways to become a writer besides being an Imperial writer."
However, it was unclear why Stella was so desperate to become an imperial writer.
"You can debut through a newspaper, or publish independently and achieve success through word of mouth."
Stella was clearly a talented person. Her original stories, distinct from others, were also certainly appealing. However, the competition to become an Imperial writer was excessively fierce.
"So don't rush too much; it would be better for you if you took your time preparing."
Roy hoped that Stella would not be too discouraged even if she was not chosen as the Imperial Writer. However, Stella smiled slyly and said something inscrutable.
"Once it's all over, you'll understand why I want to become an Imperial writer."
Stella continued to write passionately thereafter. When submitting to writing contests, she could submit previously written pieces for evaluation. She could submit up to five pieces. Therefore, she intended to write and revise many pieces before then to select the five final ones to submit.
"Stella, is there something bothering you?"
"Yes?"
"It's just that you look really unwell."
Roy glanced at the shadow of Stella's eye. She fiddled with her forehead. If she became the Royal Writer, she would survive but divorce Kendrick; if she failed, she would simply die. Either way, there was no future with Kendrick, yet she was worried about him, who was suffering from a severe addiction to Stella due to the potion. This wasn't the only thing to worry about. For the past few days, a girl named Lina had been particularly weighing on her mind.
"No, nothing special."
However, Stella shook her head. And she smiled to reassure Roy.
"More importantly, I plan to show my fairy tale to the children at the orphanage. Because how it is read to the children is also important."
Roy nodded at her words.
"That's a good idea. Shall we go together? I'd like to show you my writing too."
Roy was also writing a new fairy tale. Stella nodded, but stopped.
'Since there are many shy kids, let's ask for their understanding first if it's okay to bring someone else.'
"Yes. I'll ask the kids first, and if it's okay."
Meanwhile, the relationship between Stella and Sia had changed significantly. Previously, Sia had treated Stella with a fussy attitude and a blank expression, but now she smiled warmly whenever she saw Stella. In Stella's eyes, Sia was a woman with a very strong sense of pride. Therefore, even if she was grateful to Stella, she was not the type to express it directly.
Knock knock.
"Lady Stella, may I come in for a moment?"
However, contrary to Stella's expectations, Sia mustered up the courage to come find her.
"Right. What's wrong?"
"This one."
Sia, who had been hiding something behind her back, approached Stella and pulled it out. It was a white lilac flower.
"I bought this because I wanted to give it to Lady Stella."
She accepted the flowers Sia handed her with a reluctant but gentle smile.
"Thank you so much for the work at the orphanage."
She gently wrapped her hand around Stella's. Stella readily offered her hand.
"It was too difficult for me to handle alone. Since I have always managed everything by myself, I didn't even think I needed to ask someone for help."
It was the same for Stella. What happens in childhood continues to have an impact even after becoming an adult. In her previous life, Stella lived believing that her parents' love was everything, and there was no one to tell her that it was wrong. Consequently, she couldn't even think about asking others for help. She simply thought it was her own fault for being inadequate.
"It really was the first time. Receiving help from someone like this."
Stella knew this, so she had no choice but to help Sia. Because she saw her younger self reflected in her.
"I'm sorry that I haven't been able to treat you kindly all this time, Lady Stella."
Sia was hanging her head. Stella deliberately did not look away, but seeing the warmth on the back of her hand, it seemed that she had shed a tear.
"If you want to get me out of Adrian, I will gladly leave."
The reason Sia wanted to secure a high position at Adrian, earn a lot of money, and expand her power was largely due to the orphanage director. That way, she would be at least a little less swayed by her. However, Stella had already taken care of her. Therefore, she could leave this place without any lingering regrets.
"It's okay. I have no intention of letting you go. Why would I send away someone as capable and warm-hearted as you?"
However, Stella shook her head.
"From now on, I will live for Lady Stella."
"Sia. What are you doing living for me?"
Stella gave a soft eye smile.
"You have to live for yourself."
Sia nodded with tears welling up in her eyes.
After that, Stella spent more time talking with Sia. They also frequently visited the orphanage together to meet the children.
"I would like to greet Duchess Stella Adrian.
Above all, the matter that needed to be handled quickly was the director of the orphanage.
"How was the orphanage director dealt with?"
"Her trial is next week. She'll probably have to spend a few years in prison."
"Yes."
"Lady Stella, aren't you going to the trial?"
"If I go, you'll be really annoyed."
Sia nodded at Stella's words. Her expression was ambiguous. If the director had abused and neglected the children like that, Sia was once a victim herself. The scene of someone who was once an object of fear falling into ruin. Stella thought of her own parents. If they were to fall, how would she feel?
"All right."
A sense of regret was evident in her voice.
'So you want me to go with you.'
"That sounds fun. Won't you come along?"
Sia didn't openly show her delight, but her face brightened slightly.
"Yes."
As Stella entered the orphanage with Sia, the children ran out, calling out to greet them happily.
"Huh? Lady Stella!"
"Sister Sia!"
The children, who were not shy, had already opened their hearts to Stella. Whenever Stella's carriage stopped in front of the orphanage, they would check through the window and swarm out.
"I missed you so, so much."
Some of them trotted over and hugged Stella tightly. The children smelled of perfume. With children welcoming her like this, she couldn't help but visit this place, even if it meant overworking herself.
"I wanted to see you too."
Stella hugged every child who approached her one by one. Meanwhile, she looked for a child named Lina. Lina had been quietly watching Stella from the corner, but when their eyes met, she flinched in surprise and ran toward the hallway. Stella's gaze lingered there for a moment.
"Lady Stella, please come inside. We even drew a picture for you and Sia."
Stella's heart pounded. Today was the day she would show the fairy tales she had written to the children. Although she wrote both novels and fairy tales, what she primarily wanted to write was fairy tales. Sia whispered softly to her as she stood there nervously.
"They will definitely like your writing, too."
Stella had been curious about how fairy tales are read to children, and now this opportunity arose. She placed the manuscript she had written in front of the children. She had brought several photocopies, thinking that unexpected situations might arise or that the children might want to read the same story.
"Lady Stella, what is this?"
"It's a novel."
"Novel?"
"Yes. I'll leave it here, so read to your heart's content. And later, just tell me which one you found the most interesting."
The children's expressions became awkward.
"Writing?"
"Why, is it bothersome?"
The children collectively let out a groan.
"We can't read."
"I only know how to speak, but I don't know how to read!"
The children said this and laughed innocently. The illiteracy rate in the Empire was not very high. It was not that there were no illiterate people at all, but Stella, who had grown up in the Duke's household since childhood, had never imagined that children might not know how to read.
"Still, when I was here, I at least taught you how to read."
Sia also wore a troubled expression, as if she hadn't anticipated this situation.
"Ah, that's right!"
"Lina knows how to read. She knows how to write, too."
The children, remembering Lina, looked around searching for her. Lina was standing against a wall some distance away, staring in this direction. After watching for a while, she blushed as if embarrassed when the children started looking for her, and hurriedly ran out into the hallway.
"Lina is very shy!"
"It was fine when brother Lino was here."
Stella quietly gazed again at the spot where the child had left.
"Lino?"
Alex, the most playful and chatty of them all, nodded.
"He's Lina's older brother. He went out to earn money. That's probably why Lina isn't saying anything."
It would be over if Stella just held his hand, though.
These days, it was hard to even see her face.
"Aren't you too busy these days?"
Kendrick held Stella's hand and fidgeted. Eventually, he had come to Stella's study first. Stella didn't look very happy, perhaps because the writing wasn't flowing well.
"Why don't you leave the orphanage work to someone else?"
"I started this myself, after all. If I want to write fairy tales, I have to observe children a lot anyway."
Kendrick sat side by side with Stella, holding her left and right hands tightly as they handled their respective tasks. Then, with a thud, blood trickled down from Stella's nose.
"Stella."
Kendrick held a handkerchief to Stella's nose.
"Lie down and rest."
"No. I have to meet Roy tomorrow, so I need to finish the revisions before then."
"You're getting a nosebleed."
Kendrick let out a sigh.
"It's just because I'm prone to nosebleeds. I didn't overexert myself."
He looked at Stella with a lamenting expression. He had always been dissatisfied with Stella's weak constitution, but after he took that strange potion, his dissatisfaction was beyond measure. Because Stella was sick, he felt restless and angry.
"Rest at least until the nosebleed stops."
At Kendrick's serious demeanor, Stella moved to a different spot and leaned back on the sofa. In truth, Stella did not want Kendrick to see her with a nosebleed like this.
"I'll handle it. You can go now."
As she quietly pushed him away, Kendrick's face clearly showed his disappointment. Kendrick sighed again and stroked Stella's head.
"Don't tilt your head back, lean forward. We need to drain the unnecessary blood."
Stella moved her head as he had said. For some reason, the corners of her eyes stung. She felt dizzy, even though she hadn't lost much blood.
"Do you really have to live such a busy life?"
"Yes?"
"There is no need to push yourself to the limit. No matter how much you covet the position of Imperial Writer."
Stella was about to say something, but clamped her mouth shut. It was very difficult to tell him that if she did not obtain Hajean's magic stone, she would die from loneliness disease.
'If I confess that I'm terminally ill, Kendrick will cling to me.'
As long as she knew the future where he would fall in love with another woman, she did not want to use the illness as a weapon to hold onto his heart.
'After I die...'
What about Kendrick?
Even before she went back in time, she was curious. How would Kendrick react if she died? Would he grieve for a moment but quickly overcome it to bring a second Duchess into the house? Or would he feel relieved, as if a painful tooth had been pulled?
'Well, that was then.'
Kendrick and Stella's situation was different now than before. Kendrick was addicted to Stella because of a love potion. When separated from Stella, without the control of candy and chocolate, he invariably feels heart pain. But what if Stella were to die?
'This man...'
Will he be able to live properly?
Then, a chuckle escaped her. Stella's first goal was to cure her illness, and her second was to divorce Kendrick and leave the Adrian ducal family. Yet, she was worrying about the husband who would be left behind after her death. It was quite ridiculous.
'He is someone who will become a stranger someday.'
Stella smiled bitterly.
"It has stopped now".
Kendrick carefully withdrew the handkerchief. Concerned about the blood-stained handkerchief, she reached out her hand.
"This is unusable now. I'll have someone throw it away."
"It's fine. I'll just wash it and use it. More importantly."
Kendrick stared intently at Stella's face. Stella fiddled with her cheek, worried that something might be on her face.
"Your face looks so gaunt."
Kendrick's lips lightly touched Stella's forehead and then pulled away. His warmth lingered lukewarmly on her forehead. The sudden waft of his body scent left a lasting impression.
"I'm going to tell the chef to prepare a healthy meal today."
Stella nodded silently. She continued to touch her forehead even after Kendrick had left.
***
Roy was just as worried about her overwork.
"I have to become an Imperial writer no matter what."
Stella declared this when the Imperial Family announced that they were selecting an exclusive writer. Roy did cheer for her to achieve her goal.
"Stella, there are many ways to become a writer besides being an Imperial writer."
However, it was unclear why Stella was so desperate to become an imperial writer.
"You can debut through a newspaper, or publish independently and achieve success through word of mouth."
Stella was clearly a talented person. Her original stories, distinct from others, were also certainly appealing. However, the competition to become an Imperial writer was excessively fierce.
"So don't rush too much; it would be better for you if you took your time preparing."
Roy hoped that Stella would not be too discouraged even if she was not chosen as the Imperial Writer. However, Stella smiled slyly and said something inscrutable.
"Once it's all over, you'll understand why I want to become an Imperial writer."
Stella continued to write passionately thereafter. When submitting to writing contests, she could submit previously written pieces for evaluation. She could submit up to five pieces. Therefore, she intended to write and revise many pieces before then to select the five final ones to submit.
"Stella, is there something bothering you?"
"Yes?"
"It's just that you look really unwell."
Roy glanced at the shadow of Stella's eye. She fiddled with her forehead. If she became the Royal Writer, she would survive but divorce Kendrick; if she failed, she would simply die. Either way, there was no future with Kendrick, yet she was worried about him, who was suffering from a severe addiction to Stella due to the potion. This wasn't the only thing to worry about. For the past few days, a girl named Lina had been particularly weighing on her mind.
"No, nothing special."
However, Stella shook her head. And she smiled to reassure Roy.
"More importantly, I plan to show my fairy tale to the children at the orphanage. Because how it is read to the children is also important."
Roy nodded at her words.
"That's a good idea. Shall we go together? I'd like to show you my writing too."
Roy was also writing a new fairy tale. Stella nodded, but stopped.
'Since there are many shy kids, let's ask for their understanding first if it's okay to bring someone else.'
"Yes. I'll ask the kids first, and if it's okay."
***
Meanwhile, the relationship between Stella and Sia had changed significantly. Previously, Sia had treated Stella with a fussy attitude and a blank expression, but now she smiled warmly whenever she saw Stella. In Stella's eyes, Sia was a woman with a very strong sense of pride. Therefore, even if she was grateful to Stella, she was not the type to express it directly.
Knock knock.
"Lady Stella, may I come in for a moment?"
However, contrary to Stella's expectations, Sia mustered up the courage to come find her.
"Right. What's wrong?"
"This one."
Sia, who had been hiding something behind her back, approached Stella and pulled it out. It was a white lilac flower.
"I bought this because I wanted to give it to Lady Stella."
She accepted the flowers Sia handed her with a reluctant but gentle smile.
"Thank you so much for the work at the orphanage."
She gently wrapped her hand around Stella's. Stella readily offered her hand.
"It was too difficult for me to handle alone. Since I have always managed everything by myself, I didn't even think I needed to ask someone for help."
It was the same for Stella. What happens in childhood continues to have an impact even after becoming an adult. In her previous life, Stella lived believing that her parents' love was everything, and there was no one to tell her that it was wrong. Consequently, she couldn't even think about asking others for help. She simply thought it was her own fault for being inadequate.
"It really was the first time. Receiving help from someone like this."
Stella knew this, so she had no choice but to help Sia. Because she saw her younger self reflected in her.
"I'm sorry that I haven't been able to treat you kindly all this time, Lady Stella."
Sia was hanging her head. Stella deliberately did not look away, but seeing the warmth on the back of her hand, it seemed that she had shed a tear.
"If you want to get me out of Adrian, I will gladly leave."
The reason Sia wanted to secure a high position at Adrian, earn a lot of money, and expand her power was largely due to the orphanage director. That way, she would be at least a little less swayed by her. However, Stella had already taken care of her. Therefore, she could leave this place without any lingering regrets.
"It's okay. I have no intention of letting you go. Why would I send away someone as capable and warm-hearted as you?"
However, Stella shook her head.
"From now on, I will live for Lady Stella."
"Sia. What are you doing living for me?"
Stella gave a soft eye smile.
"You have to live for yourself."
Sia nodded with tears welling up in her eyes.
After that, Stella spent more time talking with Sia. They also frequently visited the orphanage together to meet the children.
"I would like to greet Duchess Stella Adrian.
Above all, the matter that needed to be handled quickly was the director of the orphanage.
"How was the orphanage director dealt with?"
"Her trial is next week. She'll probably have to spend a few years in prison."
"Yes."
"Lady Stella, aren't you going to the trial?"
"If I go, you'll be really annoyed."
Sia nodded at Stella's words. Her expression was ambiguous. If the director had abused and neglected the children like that, Sia was once a victim herself. The scene of someone who was once an object of fear falling into ruin. Stella thought of her own parents. If they were to fall, how would she feel?
"All right."
A sense of regret was evident in her voice.
'So you want me to go with you.'
"That sounds fun. Won't you come along?"
Sia didn't openly show her delight, but her face brightened slightly.
"Yes."
As Stella entered the orphanage with Sia, the children ran out, calling out to greet them happily.
"Huh? Lady Stella!"
"Sister Sia!"
The children, who were not shy, had already opened their hearts to Stella. Whenever Stella's carriage stopped in front of the orphanage, they would check through the window and swarm out.
"I missed you so, so much."
Some of them trotted over and hugged Stella tightly. The children smelled of perfume. With children welcoming her like this, she couldn't help but visit this place, even if it meant overworking herself.
"I wanted to see you too."
Stella hugged every child who approached her one by one. Meanwhile, she looked for a child named Lina. Lina had been quietly watching Stella from the corner, but when their eyes met, she flinched in surprise and ran toward the hallway. Stella's gaze lingered there for a moment.
"Lady Stella, please come inside. We even drew a picture for you and Sia."
Stella's heart pounded. Today was the day she would show the fairy tales she had written to the children. Although she wrote both novels and fairy tales, what she primarily wanted to write was fairy tales. Sia whispered softly to her as she stood there nervously.
"They will definitely like your writing, too."
Stella had been curious about how fairy tales are read to children, and now this opportunity arose. She placed the manuscript she had written in front of the children. She had brought several photocopies, thinking that unexpected situations might arise or that the children might want to read the same story.
"Lady Stella, what is this?"
"It's a novel."
"Novel?"
"Yes. I'll leave it here, so read to your heart's content. And later, just tell me which one you found the most interesting."
The children's expressions became awkward.
"Writing?"
"Why, is it bothersome?"
The children collectively let out a groan.
"We can't read."
"I only know how to speak, but I don't know how to read!"
The children said this and laughed innocently. The illiteracy rate in the Empire was not very high. It was not that there were no illiterate people at all, but Stella, who had grown up in the Duke's household since childhood, had never imagined that children might not know how to read.
"Still, when I was here, I at least taught you how to read."
Sia also wore a troubled expression, as if she hadn't anticipated this situation.
"Ah, that's right!"
"Lina knows how to read. She knows how to write, too."
The children, remembering Lina, looked around searching for her. Lina was standing against a wall some distance away, staring in this direction. After watching for a while, she blushed as if embarrassed when the children started looking for her, and hurriedly ran out into the hallway.
"Lina is very shy!"
"It was fine when brother Lino was here."
Stella quietly gazed again at the spot where the child had left.
"Lino?"
Alex, the most playful and chatty of them all, nodded.
"He's Lina's older brother. He went out to earn money. That's probably why Lina isn't saying anything."
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