"Rather than doing nothing, have a child. This is the way for you. What if Kendrick demands a divorce, using your weak health as an excuse? Do you not understand the feelings of a parent?"
She looked at the Duke. He had purple hair. Though a few white strands were visible near the roots, it was red nonetheless. Just like Stella. For the first time, she felt a pang of discomfort at the thought of being part of Lanedict's bloodline.
"Your mother is busy with charity events and social gatherings to uphold the Duke's reputation. Aren't you, using the excuse of being a little unwell, staying at home?"
Stella smiled faintly.
"Don't worry."
The Duke and Duchess of Lanedict were worrying for nothing.
"I won't do that thing anymore, just sitting in my room waiting for my husband."
Stella pushed back the bag they had handed her.
"I won't accept this. Mother, Father, eat a lot."
She didn't want to come out and spew harsh words now. If she didn't speak so forcefully, they'd surely make fun of Stella and force her to take another dose of this medicine. With a venomous expression, Stella pointed to the potion in the Duchess's hand.
"You should have another daughter who will be a filial daughter in my stead."
Duke Lanedict's mouth fell open, and the Duchess clutched the back of her neck.
"I, I. Stella!"
They didn't seem to expect Stella to resist like this. They banged the table in panic, but Stella had no intention of wasting her emotions any longer. She didn't want revenge or anything. She simply wanted to make all the preparations, then suddenly leave and live her own life.
"Well then, I've shown my face, so I'll be going now."
That's enough.
"Peace be with you, Mother. Father."
She caressed her arm for no reason. The more she thought about what she'd said to her parents, the more awkward and embarrassed she felt, but also proud.
'I guess this is what it means to feel relieved?'
Desperate to be loved, she never once uttered a single word against her parents. Those feelings, which had been building up and building until death, finally burst forth after Stella began her second life.
'Well, I don't feel bad.'
All she could think was that calling her was asking her to bear a child for the family. No matter how much she thought about it, it made her angry, but she decided not to worry anymore.
'Come to think of it, was it around there?'
Stella turned her head. She saw the garden. Somewhere, somewhere, she'd cut her wrist with scissors. Stella turned her arm over. It felt like ages ago. But the incident remained, a scar.
'My wounds.'
Memories of Stella's pain still permeated every corner of the Duke of Lanedict's home. Stella walked into the garden, as if possessed. She sat down on the ground. Her eyes dropped, and the sky seemed higher. Stella raised her head and looked up at the sky.
'The sky was pretty that day too.'
People would be all over the place, laughing and chatting away at the party. The more she was surrounded by happy people, the more intense her loneliness became. She wasn't old enough to know that loneliness in a crowd is scarier than loneliness alone. Now, even though no one was looking at Stella with pity, she still crouched down.
"Ha."
"Why are you feeling like this today, seriously?"
The sky was beautiful that day, too, and the building was bustling with people. Some flatteringly ingratiated themselves with the Duke and Duchess of Lanedict; people laughed at Stella for being caught cheating or felt sorry for her. And then some pitied her. It was a nightmare, a trauma that still weighs heavily on Stella.
'I want to erase that memory.'
Stella wanted to overcome this trauma before she could truly live a second life. But it was too hard. Even entering this garden left her breathless and her head pounding. Her self-esteem plummeted. Stella buried her face in her knees.
'Now that I think about it, the Duke and Duchess were particularly sensitive back then.'
Stella was so preoccupied with her own grades that she had no time to consider anything else. However, she remembered that rumors were circulating at the time that the Duke of Ladedict was embezzling taxes. Thanks to her parents' good handling of the situation, the issue hadn't escalated, but it was enough to infuriate them.
'Was I a good target for venting their anger?'
Tap.
Footsteps were heard. Stella tried to get up, but she lacked the strength. Deep in the garden, the source of those footsteps couldn't possibly be a guest, so she didn't feel like getting up.
The owner of those footsteps covered Stella's shoulders with something. It was a man's coat.
"Kendrick?"
Stella assumed it was her husband, Kendrick. Without even raising her head, she felt the warmth of his coat.
"That's too bad. Another man's name."
But the voice she heard from the side sounded quite different from Kendrick's. It was almost playful, she could say. Stella jumped and raised her head.
"Who are you?"
The sunlight bathed the green leaves of the garden in golden light. The man standing beside her seemed enveloped in golden light, too. His face was half-obscured by the shadow cast by his back to the light, but it was clear he was quite handsome. Even just by looking at his silhouette, his handsomeness was apparent.
"Hmm."
He bent his knees. His long legs folded, bringing his face closer to Stella's. She could clearly see his face, previously obscured by sunlight. Dark brown eyes, the same color as his golden hair. A sharp nose and soft, red lips. She felt familiar, but couldn't be sure.
"I asked who you were."
The man gave a self-deprecating laugh at her words.
"You don't have to be afraid."
The man smiled like a young boy, but his heart was not like that. After his previous encounter with Stella, he had asked his servant to find out about the purple-haired young lady, but no information had come back.
'I was so touched.'
And yet, they met again at the banquet. Roy felt that this woman was truly his destiny. The phrase "love at first sight" seemed to have been coined just for her. Even though he didn't know her first or last name yet, so what?
'I can find out from now on.'
His lips curved into a curve. It was a beautiful smile. It didn't matter if she didn't remember him. He had plenty of time to get to know her. If he looked through the list of attendees at the Lanedict banquet, he'd quickly discover her identity.
"I just came out for a walk because the banquet was boring. I'll be home soon."
He exuded a cool, minty scent. If he were an actor, there would be countless people offering to sponsor him just by looking at his face. But Stella was surrounded by particularly handsome men. Living face-to-face with Skyle and Kendrick, she had become quite accustomed to handsome men.
"Oh, then you can finish your walk."
She turned her head away. She didn't like the idea of someone suddenly barging into her private time. The man tilted his head and examined Stella's face again.
"I thought you were going to cry. But you're not."
She ignored him, pulled her knees together again, and bowed her head. She expected him, his pride bruised, to move away. But the man seemed even more intrigued by Stella's actions, and he simply sat down next to her.
"Why are you sitting?"
"I often miss people who look lonely. I'll be by your side until all your sadness is gone."
Stella burst into a faint laugh.
'Really, what kind of person are you?'
Stella decided not to pay him any attention. The man didn't say anything, as if he really intended to just stay by her side.
- I often pass by people who look lonely.
Yet, what the man said remained deeply impressed in Stella's mind.
Stella thought about it. Everyone in this world must be living like her, hiding their loneliness.
She stroked her chest. It still felt tight, but less so than before. Her breathing wasn't as labored as she'd expected, and she didn't have any seizures. She felt like she was finally one step away from the trauma. "That's enough for today." Stella shook herself off and stood up.
"I'll go first."
Then, she lifted the coat from her shoulders and handed it back to him. He was a strange man, but he didn't seem like a bad person. Just a friendly flirt you'd find anywhere?
"I can wait until the sadness is over. I like that kind of thing. Observing people."
A man whose name she didn't even know looked up at her.
"It won't be finished today. I don't know your name, but thank you for the coat."
Stella walked out of the garden without any hesitation.
"Roy."
A soft voice stopped her.
"Yes?"
"That's the name. Remember it."
The man also got up and shook off his seat.
"Take this. It's still chilly."
He then handed her the coat again, pointing to Stella's dress, which revealed her upper arms. When she refused to accept it, he draped it over her shoulders, then turned and disappeared.
'He's a funny guy.'
If she went back carrying another man's coat, Kendrick would be suspicious. He might even get angry. Stella was walking, intending to hang it up somewhere, when she noticed a handkerchief tucked into her pocket.
Stella
It was a handkerchief with her name written on it.
'Why is my handkerchief here?'
Stella fiddled with it. Think about it. Have you ever lent a handkerchief to someone before, or spilled one?
'Ah!'
She remembered the day she'd gone to the bookstore. The embarrassing memory of falling on top of a stranger. She turned around and looked in the direction he'd been heading.
'Is that the man?'
Somehow, even though it was their first time meeting, he acted friendly. Stella remembered his name. Roy.
'Roy. Roy. Roy.'
She recalled seeing him dressed up as a commoner in front of the bookstore, his face clumsily hidden behind a mask. With attendants around him, he couldn't possibly be a commoner. What if Roy was the author of the popular "Affectionate Nature" and "The Tin Girl"? What if he was hiding his face, afraid people would rush over to see him?
Stella emerged from the garden, brooding over her encounter with Roy. Thinking of him as the author of "Affectionate Nature" and "The Tin Girl," she couldn't bear to throw away her coat. She longed to see Roy again. Stella fiddled with her wind-blown hair. She tried to comb it with her fingers, but it got tangled and got caught in the middle. A few strands of hair tangled with her fingers.
'Shall we look for it?'
Stella wanted to go back to him and talk about his book, but she held back. She'd treated him like such a weirdo, refusing to even make eye contact, and it would have been ridiculous if she'd changed her attitude the moment she found out he was a writer.
'I'll have to go see him formally later.'
She was tired now. People say they feel at ease when they visit their parents, but Stella's exhaustion was doubled by meeting her parents. She quickened her pace, intending to tell Kendrick to hurry home, but she sensed the presence of people behind her again.
"I thought you wouldn't come."
It wasn't an unfamiliar voice.
Skyle.
The one who made Stella feel inferior in her last life was Skyle, her only brother.
She looked at the Duke. He had purple hair. Though a few white strands were visible near the roots, it was red nonetheless. Just like Stella. For the first time, she felt a pang of discomfort at the thought of being part of Lanedict's bloodline.
"Your mother is busy with charity events and social gatherings to uphold the Duke's reputation. Aren't you, using the excuse of being a little unwell, staying at home?"
Stella smiled faintly.
"Don't worry."
The Duke and Duchess of Lanedict were worrying for nothing.
"I won't do that thing anymore, just sitting in my room waiting for my husband."
Stella pushed back the bag they had handed her.
"I won't accept this. Mother, Father, eat a lot."
She didn't want to come out and spew harsh words now. If she didn't speak so forcefully, they'd surely make fun of Stella and force her to take another dose of this medicine. With a venomous expression, Stella pointed to the potion in the Duchess's hand.
"You should have another daughter who will be a filial daughter in my stead."
Duke Lanedict's mouth fell open, and the Duchess clutched the back of her neck.
"I, I. Stella!"
They didn't seem to expect Stella to resist like this. They banged the table in panic, but Stella had no intention of wasting her emotions any longer. She didn't want revenge or anything. She simply wanted to make all the preparations, then suddenly leave and live her own life.
"Well then, I've shown my face, so I'll be going now."
That's enough.
"Peace be with you, Mother. Father."
***
She caressed her arm for no reason. The more she thought about what she'd said to her parents, the more awkward and embarrassed she felt, but also proud.
'I guess this is what it means to feel relieved?'
Desperate to be loved, she never once uttered a single word against her parents. Those feelings, which had been building up and building until death, finally burst forth after Stella began her second life.
'Well, I don't feel bad.'
All she could think was that calling her was asking her to bear a child for the family. No matter how much she thought about it, it made her angry, but she decided not to worry anymore.
'Come to think of it, was it around there?'
Stella turned her head. She saw the garden. Somewhere, somewhere, she'd cut her wrist with scissors. Stella turned her arm over. It felt like ages ago. But the incident remained, a scar.
'My wounds.'
Memories of Stella's pain still permeated every corner of the Duke of Lanedict's home. Stella walked into the garden, as if possessed. She sat down on the ground. Her eyes dropped, and the sky seemed higher. Stella raised her head and looked up at the sky.
'The sky was pretty that day too.'
People would be all over the place, laughing and chatting away at the party. The more she was surrounded by happy people, the more intense her loneliness became. She wasn't old enough to know that loneliness in a crowd is scarier than loneliness alone. Now, even though no one was looking at Stella with pity, she still crouched down.
"Ha."
"Why are you feeling like this today, seriously?"
The sky was beautiful that day, too, and the building was bustling with people. Some flatteringly ingratiated themselves with the Duke and Duchess of Lanedict; people laughed at Stella for being caught cheating or felt sorry for her. And then some pitied her. It was a nightmare, a trauma that still weighs heavily on Stella.
'I want to erase that memory.'
Stella wanted to overcome this trauma before she could truly live a second life. But it was too hard. Even entering this garden left her breathless and her head pounding. Her self-esteem plummeted. Stella buried her face in her knees.
'Now that I think about it, the Duke and Duchess were particularly sensitive back then.'
Stella was so preoccupied with her own grades that she had no time to consider anything else. However, she remembered that rumors were circulating at the time that the Duke of Ladedict was embezzling taxes. Thanks to her parents' good handling of the situation, the issue hadn't escalated, but it was enough to infuriate them.
'Was I a good target for venting their anger?'
Tap.
Footsteps were heard. Stella tried to get up, but she lacked the strength. Deep in the garden, the source of those footsteps couldn't possibly be a guest, so she didn't feel like getting up.
The owner of those footsteps covered Stella's shoulders with something. It was a man's coat.
"Kendrick?"
Stella assumed it was her husband, Kendrick. Without even raising her head, she felt the warmth of his coat.
"That's too bad. Another man's name."
But the voice she heard from the side sounded quite different from Kendrick's. It was almost playful, she could say. Stella jumped and raised her head.
"Who are you?"
The sunlight bathed the green leaves of the garden in golden light. The man standing beside her seemed enveloped in golden light, too. His face was half-obscured by the shadow cast by his back to the light, but it was clear he was quite handsome. Even just by looking at his silhouette, his handsomeness was apparent.
"Hmm."
He bent his knees. His long legs folded, bringing his face closer to Stella's. She could clearly see his face, previously obscured by sunlight. Dark brown eyes, the same color as his golden hair. A sharp nose and soft, red lips. She felt familiar, but couldn't be sure.
"I asked who you were."
The man gave a self-deprecating laugh at her words.
"You don't have to be afraid."
The man smiled like a young boy, but his heart was not like that. After his previous encounter with Stella, he had asked his servant to find out about the purple-haired young lady, but no information had come back.
'I was so touched.'
And yet, they met again at the banquet. Roy felt that this woman was truly his destiny. The phrase "love at first sight" seemed to have been coined just for her. Even though he didn't know her first or last name yet, so what?
'I can find out from now on.'
His lips curved into a curve. It was a beautiful smile. It didn't matter if she didn't remember him. He had plenty of time to get to know her. If he looked through the list of attendees at the Lanedict banquet, he'd quickly discover her identity.
"I just came out for a walk because the banquet was boring. I'll be home soon."
He exuded a cool, minty scent. If he were an actor, there would be countless people offering to sponsor him just by looking at his face. But Stella was surrounded by particularly handsome men. Living face-to-face with Skyle and Kendrick, she had become quite accustomed to handsome men.
"Oh, then you can finish your walk."
She turned her head away. She didn't like the idea of someone suddenly barging into her private time. The man tilted his head and examined Stella's face again.
"I thought you were going to cry. But you're not."
She ignored him, pulled her knees together again, and bowed her head. She expected him, his pride bruised, to move away. But the man seemed even more intrigued by Stella's actions, and he simply sat down next to her.
"Why are you sitting?"
"I often miss people who look lonely. I'll be by your side until all your sadness is gone."
Stella burst into a faint laugh.
'Really, what kind of person are you?'
Stella decided not to pay him any attention. The man didn't say anything, as if he really intended to just stay by her side.
- I often pass by people who look lonely.
Yet, what the man said remained deeply impressed in Stella's mind.
Stella thought about it. Everyone in this world must be living like her, hiding their loneliness.
She stroked her chest. It still felt tight, but less so than before. Her breathing wasn't as labored as she'd expected, and she didn't have any seizures. She felt like she was finally one step away from the trauma. "That's enough for today." Stella shook herself off and stood up.
"I'll go first."
Then, she lifted the coat from her shoulders and handed it back to him. He was a strange man, but he didn't seem like a bad person. Just a friendly flirt you'd find anywhere?
"I can wait until the sadness is over. I like that kind of thing. Observing people."
A man whose name she didn't even know looked up at her.
"It won't be finished today. I don't know your name, but thank you for the coat."
Stella walked out of the garden without any hesitation.
"Roy."
A soft voice stopped her.
"Yes?"
"That's the name. Remember it."
The man also got up and shook off his seat.
"Take this. It's still chilly."
He then handed her the coat again, pointing to Stella's dress, which revealed her upper arms. When she refused to accept it, he draped it over her shoulders, then turned and disappeared.
'He's a funny guy.'
If she went back carrying another man's coat, Kendrick would be suspicious. He might even get angry. Stella was walking, intending to hang it up somewhere, when she noticed a handkerchief tucked into her pocket.
Stella
It was a handkerchief with her name written on it.
'Why is my handkerchief here?'
Stella fiddled with it. Think about it. Have you ever lent a handkerchief to someone before, or spilled one?
'Ah!'
She remembered the day she'd gone to the bookstore. The embarrassing memory of falling on top of a stranger. She turned around and looked in the direction he'd been heading.
'Is that the man?'
Somehow, even though it was their first time meeting, he acted friendly. Stella remembered his name. Roy.
'Roy. Roy. Roy.'
She recalled seeing him dressed up as a commoner in front of the bookstore, his face clumsily hidden behind a mask. With attendants around him, he couldn't possibly be a commoner. What if Roy was the author of the popular "Affectionate Nature" and "The Tin Girl"? What if he was hiding his face, afraid people would rush over to see him?
Stella emerged from the garden, brooding over her encounter with Roy. Thinking of him as the author of "Affectionate Nature" and "The Tin Girl," she couldn't bear to throw away her coat. She longed to see Roy again. Stella fiddled with her wind-blown hair. She tried to comb it with her fingers, but it got tangled and got caught in the middle. A few strands of hair tangled with her fingers.
'Shall we look for it?'
Stella wanted to go back to him and talk about his book, but she held back. She'd treated him like such a weirdo, refusing to even make eye contact, and it would have been ridiculous if she'd changed her attitude the moment she found out he was a writer.
'I'll have to go see him formally later.'
She was tired now. People say they feel at ease when they visit their parents, but Stella's exhaustion was doubled by meeting her parents. She quickened her pace, intending to tell Kendrick to hurry home, but she sensed the presence of people behind her again.
"I thought you wouldn't come."
It wasn't an unfamiliar voice.
Skyle.
The one who made Stella feel inferior in her last life was Skyle, her only brother.
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