(92) Please save me (1)
The temple was located far from the bustling city center. Even though it was a bustling area, it was on the outskirts of the city, with only small shops.
Since it was a place where there weren't many travelers, everyone looked around in wonder at Ariana walking with her knights.
Ariana said to Sini, pulling her hood down deeply.
“You mean a dragon, right?”
"It's a noble creature that lived on this continent a very, very long time ago. It was so large and powerful that it was called God's representative. Legend has it that it was so large it could fill this entire city."
“Wow, if I eat the heart of such a large creature, I will never lose my strength again.”
“Sini, I hope you don’t use that ability.”
"But Master, I have no other talent. I want to protect you."
"Protecting me isn't just about fighting with a sword. If you knew more, you could help me achieve many things."
“I will study hard. I will become smart.”
Ariana smiled broadly and looked around the city where dragons once lived.
Although it was not fancy, it was a beautiful place with old-fashioned buildings still maintained.
There was a temple a long way up a narrow path through the trees, away from the busy downtown area.
A place where the great Arphen, the Creator, is worshipped.
As people began to live in a large country, they began to worship the various gods under Arphen more deeply.
God of war, god of earth, god of water, god of fire, god of healing...
Although the faith of the lesser gods alternately gained dominance as needed, the faith in the great Arphen always remained at the foundation of the faith.
In fact, the state religion of the empire and the four countries surrounding it was the Arphen faith, and no matter how much the faith of the lower gods grew, it could not surpass the Arphen faith.
Ariana was guided by the priests to the prayer room.
In the small prayer room, which could only accommodate one person, there was only one table, and on it was a statue of Arohen.
Ariana stood before him with her hands clasped politely.
There was something she wanted to ask God, though she knew she wouldn't get an answer.
“I never trusted you for a single moment.”
Ariana didn't believe in God.
When the time comes, she goes to the temple and prays, but she never does it sincerely.
"It was so hard. If you were watching me, if you were watching everyone as the doctrine says, you would know how I lived."
From the moment she was born, no, from the moment she was in the womb, she was rejected. She lived with the incantation that someone like her should never have been born.
Living in hell day after day, she had to do things she didn't want to do and marry someone she didn't love just to receive her mother's love.
"This second chance, did you give it to me? Did you give me another chance because you felt sorry for neglecting me, because you felt pity for me?"
Even after eight months, Ariana still couldn't figure out why she had regressed.
“If you gave me a chance to get revenge, what did you find in me?”
Ariana wasn't the only one who died with resentment. Countless others, having suffered injustice, died dreaming of revenge and a second chance.
But why me of all people?
Ariana wondered about that.
If all of this is God's plan, did he really send me back in time solely to seek revenge? Was God a being who favored one human being so much?
“I’m scared because it doesn’t seem like it’s you...”
That was what was scary.
When she first returned, she thought it was the power of God. At the last moment, she thought that desperate wish had reached the heavens, and God had given her another chance.
She never believed in God, but something happened that only God could do.
But as time went by, she began to think that maybe her thinking was wrong.
According to the doctrine, even Rachel and the Third Prince were God's beloved creations. He couldn't revive Ariana to give her a chance to seek revenge.
So what is this life?
Could this be another kind of hell? Am I already dead, but living in a hell called illusion? Could it be that everything is, in fact, a figment of my imagination, created after death?
Could it be that God is punishing me for dying while cursing my biological mother, Rachel, and my sisters Helena and Victoria?
In fact, I can't take any revenge, but they live happily in the world of the living, and I'm living in this fake world, deluded into thinking I'm taking revenge.
Could it be that my ill feelings toward my family are preventing me from entering into eternal rest?
Every time something bad happened, Ariana began to doubt this life.
It was like this now that she learned that Duke Obelius was after Ariana's life.
She wanted to start a new life, but why was it still so hard? Even with a loving family, why did she still have to sacrifice herself to avoid death?
Even though she tried to take it calmly, she couldn't help but feel anxious whenever an unexpected danger arose.
Ariana realized her fingertips were trembling slightly. She also realized she was asking a pointless question.
Her mouth felt bitter.
Crying doesn't mean God will answer. It doesn't mean the situation will change.
'I've become weak-hearted.'
Surrounded by good people, hanging out with Isabelle, who had grown up so pure and innocent, her heart grew dull.
When she realized that she could live so brilliantly without anyone suspecting her, Ariana began to resent her own life.
She wanted to cling to someone. She wanted to be honest with them.
She's so tired. She's scared. She's so overwhelmed by loneliness that she can't breathe. Truthfully, she never felt comfortable for a single moment.
She wanted to reveal her true feelings like a child.
'Remember, Ariana.'
Ariana scolded herself.
'Remember the moment you died. You only wanted one thing.'
She had vowed to live her life carrying the sin of being born on her shoulders.
"There's no need to envy someone who's lived a life filled with love. There's no need to lament a life of constant tension. You were just born that way."
She thought she had accepted it, but the White family was too warm to keep that feeling.
Ariana suppressed her fluttering heart and lifted her chin. She looked at the statue of Arphen placed sacredly on the table.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s not you. But this time, watch me.”
A cold smile appeared on Ariana's lips.
“O great god, watch carefully to see what happens to the child you abandoned.”
***
As Ariana headed to the inn, an unpleasant sight caught her eye.
In front of a store, a man was beating a boy mercilessly.
The boy was probably a store errand boy, but judging by his skinny body and worn clothes, he looked like a child from a poor family.
“You! Are! Really! Useless!”
“I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
Since it was impossible to interfere in everything that happened among the common people, she tried to ignore the child's plight, even though it was pitiful.
But the man's kick was so violent that the child looked as if he would suffocate at any moment.
The child caught her eye, so she glanced back, and their eyes met.
Unable to pretend not to know, she approached, and the man stopped kicking. Seeing the knights standing behind Ariana, he flinched and stepped back.
"This guy did something wrong, and the store suffered a huge loss. I hit him because he deserved it."
Even though Ariana didn't say anything, the man muttered an excuse. Ariana ignored him and bent down to lift the child up.
The child's eyes shook.
“It must hurt.”
“Yes, it’s okay.”
The child said, sniffling.
She felt sorry for the child who was trying to pretend to be okay, even though he had bruises here and there.
“Where do you live?”
The child pointed somewhere.
“I’ll take you there.”
As Ariana nodded, Lanster took a silver coin from his pocket and handed it to the man.
“This money will be enough to compensate for the damage that child caused.”
Leaving the man who was smiling happily at the silver coin, Ariana headed towards the child's house.
The boy's house was located in a remote area. It was not small, but it was shabby.
The boy muttered.
“Thank you for your help. I'd like to buy you a cup of tea.”
The boy who spoke awkwardly was a little cute.
Since she had nothing to do anyway, Ariana answered yes.
Lanster said.
“The house is small, so we can’t all fit in, so we’ll wait here.”
Ariana followed the child into the house, taking only Sini with her.
It was a narrow space with no separation between the kitchen and bedroom. It was a house with only a small fireplace and a seemingly homemade table.
A man and woman who appeared to be the child's parents approached Ariana in a hurry. The boy spoke.
“Thank you for helping me. I’d like to buy you some tea.”
“Oh, you helped my child. Thank you so much. Thank you.”
The child's father said.
Ariana felt something was a little off, but couldn't quite place what it was. It was something to do with a child, and she let her guard down because the child seemed like her younger self.
So, the child sat down at the table as instructed by his parents and drank the tea they brought without question.
The tea was strangely runny, and by the time she realized something was wrong, all the strength was draining from her body.
'They didn't ask anything!'
It was only then that she realized what was strange.
The boy's parents never asked Ariana what had happened to save the boy.
She tried to scream, but she couldn't make a sound. She tried to signal Sini to run, but they were faster.
The boy's father hit Sini on the back of the head with a club.
Ariana could see Sini's body crumbling, but she could do nothing for her.
Her mind was clear, but her body felt like it wasn't her own, and she couldn't move.
A small fireplace moved, and several men appeared from the space behind it.
The child's father spoke in a small voice.
“Not here. There are knights outside.”
"What about this kid? The promise was only about blue hair. I don't want to commit unnecessary murder."
A man pointed to Sini and said.
"I knocked her out, so she won't be able to get up for a while. She won't know there's a secret passage behind the fireplace, so let's run away quickly."
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