(120) Always good weather (2)
“Ariana! Brother! Are you two having a good time together?”
It was Count Fellowes White, the youngest of the White family. Fellowes strode forward and looked down at Ariana.
“Ariana, you probably still haven’t recovered from the aftereffects, so is it okay for you to be out and about like this already?”
Ariana smiled slightly as she watched Fellowes say the same thing as Russell.
The two men were startled, as it was the first time Ariana had ever laughed out loud in front of them. Ariana's bright smile was truly lovely, like a fairy frolicking in the forest.
"I guess everyone thinks I'm as weak as when I first came to the East. I ate well and rested well both in the East and North, and now I'm healthy. I haven't caught a cold in that cold North."
“If that’s the case, then that’s good... but you're still too skinny, so this uncle is very worried.”
Fellowes also joined us for a walk in the garden.
Fellowes, who was asking Ariana various questions about what it was like in the North, suddenly grabbed Russell's wrist and said.
“Look, your father wears these cufflinks all the time, even at home.”
As Fellowes had mentioned, Russell's shirt had cufflinks with Ariana's face engraved on each sleeve. Cufflinks are usually worn with formal attire, so she hadn't expected him to be wearing them today.
"Your father hasn't taken it off since he received it, not even when he slept. Even when your grandfather suggested he take a look, he'd only let him look from afar."
Ariana blushed in embarrassment when she saw the cufflinks with her face engraved on them up close.
“Father, you can just keep this for your own collection.”
"You should wear good things often. If I wear this to meetings, everyone will be so envious. Thanks to you, I've become the envy of everyone lately."
She wonders if they're really jealous? She thinks they're probably cursing her inwardly.
Russell looked at his cufflinks again, as if he was delighted with the new look. The kind smile that played across his lips touched her heart.
If it were his father, Russell, he could buy dozens or hundreds of better cufflinks than those. What are they?
Looking into her father's affectionate eyes, Ariana suddenly remembered the dream from last night.
It's not like she can find out just by asking, but the question just popped out impulsively.
“Father, if I were to marry a man around 30 years old, would you allow me to do so?”
The smile that had been on Russell's lips vanished in an instant. His lips hardened, and a dark, murderous glint filled his blue eyes. A chill settled on his strong, broad shoulders.
Before Russell, who had suddenly changed in a flash, could even open his lips, Fellowes shouted.
“What kind of kid is that!”
The birds resting in the trees were startled and flew up.
Fellowes roughly grabbed Ariana's shoulders.
"What crazy old man is marrying you? Is that the Northern Territory guy? Who arranged it? The Northern Lord, that guy? Did he tell you to marry that old man from the Northern Territory? Just leave this little brat alone!"
At any moment, Fellowes seemed poised to strike at the North with his sword. Russell, who should have been trying to stop his younger brother, simply nodded silently.
Ariana was taken aback by their unexpected attitude. She'd only asked in passing, but she'd never dreamed this would be the reaction she'd get.
“No, that’s not it... Uncle, calm down. I’m not saying there’s such a person.”
“Then what is it!”
“I was just curious, so I asked... but it’s true.”
Fellowes squinted his eyes, examining Ariana's face closely, as if trying to determine if it was real.
“Really? You didn’t receive any threats from anyone?”
“Yes, of course. Who would dare threaten the Princess of the East?”
"Hmm. Yeah, well. That's good, if that's the case, but don't make such heart-stopping jokes. We almost killed that Northern Lord, didn't we, brother?"
Russell nodded and said.
“Then, until what age is it okay?”
Russell pondered his daughter's question for a very long time.
How old is it, okay?
5 years old? 4 years old? No, 1 year old? Same age?
No matter how old the man standing next to his daughter was, he was not satisfied.
Ariana was overly pretty, incredibly smart, and occasionally breathtakingly adorable. It would take a man of her caliber to take her in, but could there really be a man like that in this world?
Does not exist.
'However...'
Russell stared at Ariana, who was staring up at him.
"Why are you suddenly asking me this? Do you have someone in mind? Could it be... the Northern Lord?"
His heart grew cold.
In Russell's eyes, Ariana was still too small and precarious.
Ariana was still that tiny baby he held in his arms the moment she was born, that fragile baby who couldn't survive without someone's help. To Russell, that was still the case.
Russell muttered without realizing it.
“Should we get rid of the Northern Lord...”
"Yes?"
“What did he say to you while you were in the North?”
Ariana blinked and shook her head.
“No. He just looked after me and protected me well.”
“So you liked him?”
Ariana was startled by Russell's sharpness, but she quickly answered without showing it.
“No way. I’m not even old enough for that yet.”
Fellowes nodded.
“Yeah, you’re not that old. Ariana, you’re still too young!”
She wasn't young.
Even at the age of fourteen or fifteen, countless noble young ladies fell in love and began dating. Ariana was old enough to love someone, but the men of House White were unwilling to acknowledge it.
Because in their eyes, Ariana still looks like a newborn baby.
"Your uncle is right, Ariana. But since you're so pretty, more guys will probably approach you."
“When that happens, come and tell this uncle. I’ll break his leg.”
“Yeah, that would be good.”
Ariana couldn't understand why her father and uncle were reacting so violently, but she felt a surge of goodness welling up in her chest.
The hole in her chest, which had already shrunk considerably, had shrunk even further. The harsh, desolate wind that had once blown in and out was barely noticeable.
Ariana lowered her head slightly and looked at her father's cufflinks.
Every time Isabelle bought something for Ariana, she was puzzled.
Why does this person keep trying to buy me things? What does she want from me? Does she want to spend money on her poor cousin?
Now she thinks she knows what that feeling is.
It's so heartwarming to see someone you love happy with a gift you gave them.
'It's good. It's as good as the person who received it, no, maybe even better.'
Every time Ariana wore the dress or shoes she had received as a gift, Isabelle always smiled happily.
It wasn't just Isabelle. Everyone who gave Ariana a gift did the same.
She never felt loved, so she didn't even know she was loved. Even as she felt the kindness and warmth they showed her, she drew a thick line and attached appropriate reasons.
Because they feel sorry for her. Because they feel bad for her. Because they feel sorry for her for abandoning her all this time. That's probably why everyone is so kind to her.
Feelings of regret, pity, and sorrow all ultimately stemmed from affection. And that affection was without reason. It wasn't given because someone was particularly smart, polite, pretty, or handsome.
Last night's dream came to mind.
-“I don’t think it’ll work. I’ll do it right now...!”
In the dream, Ariana became Russell himself, completely experiencing his emotions. In the dream, Russell had no idea how Ariana had grown up, what kind of personality she had, what she looked like, or how much she had learned.
However, when he heard that she was going to marry a man 14 years older than her, he was so angry and sad that his heart burned black.
It was still like that.
Russell and Fellowes cared enough for Ariana to flinch, tremble, and still cluck their tongues at the mere thought of her marrying an older man.
For no reason. Without even knowing what kind of person she is.
As she realized this, her eyes grew hot. An emotion of unknown magnitude filled Ariana's chest.
Ariana didn't even realize that tears were streaming down her cheeks.
Fellowes, who had been reciting the names of men who might approach Ariana, was startled to see Ariana crying and shouted.
“Oh, Ariana! Why are you crying? Huh?”
Russell also opened his eyes wide and asked Ariana as if he was rushing towards her.
“So what happened in the North?”
The spring sun shone brightly behind her father and uncle. The spring sky of the East was blue and beautiful, but to Ariana's eyes, her father and uncle were even more radiant, making her eyes go wide.
Only then did she understand why Shini would say 'nice weather' every time she saw Ariana.
“No, it’s just that the weather is… nice. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such nice weather.”
Russell returned Ariana to her room after their walk, but he seemed uneasy. He repeatedly reminded her, “You’re still young, Ariana. If any men approach you, be sure to tell your father, yes?”
Ariana entered the room, called the maid, asked her to prepare a bath, and sat down on the sofa for a while, placing her hand on her chest.
As she left the Northern Territory, Cyrus's actions left her with a sense of relief. Even after entering the warm East Territory, the cold winds of the Northern Territory blew in and out of the gaping holes, inflicting wounds here and there.
The sense of loss that had plagued Ariana until this morning had now faded considerably. The chilling wind that had been pounding her chest had also subsided.
Suddenly, something happened one day.
.
.
It was about two years after Ariana married Ingrow Alfreich when she visited the Duke Bronte for the first time in a long time.
While Viscount Alfreich went to speak with the Duke of Bronte, Ariana sat across from Rachel in the drawing room, listening to her nag.
Helena, who had rushed in at that moment, didn't even pretend to notice Ariana and sat next to Rachel, crying.
“Mom, listen to me. Do you know what Roent told me?”
Roent was the second son of a Count who was dating Helena at the time. To Ariana, it seemed like a trivial matter, but Helena blushed and whined, as if her world was falling apart.
"What kind of guy is that? Don't be so upset, Helena. I'll go and give him a word."
Rachel was indignant about that trivial matter as if it were her own. Ariana, sitting like a sack of barley placed in front of the loving mother and daughter, was terribly envious.
Ariana really had a lot to say.
Mom, our marriage is so hard. My husband beats me when he drinks. My mother-in-law insults me, saying I can't have children. My sister-in-law sometimes picks on me in secret.
The reason she swallowed what she wanted to say was that she knew what kind of reaction she would get if she said something like that.
"So, you should've been better at something? Useless. I knew you'd be like that there, too. Why aren't you good at anything? That's why no one likes you."
.
.
She thought no one would love her because she was useless and had nothing good to offer. Even after Ariana left the Bronte household, she remained trapped by her mother's curse.
And today, under the bright sun, Ariana learned that even if she was useless, untalented, and unproficient, there were people who would be angry with her for her.
Ariana picked up the lime green teddy bear sitting on the nightstand and hugged it tightly.
'Look, Helena. Now I have a family who will be angry with me.'
“Ariana! Brother! Are you two having a good time together?”
It was Count Fellowes White, the youngest of the White family. Fellowes strode forward and looked down at Ariana.
“Ariana, you probably still haven’t recovered from the aftereffects, so is it okay for you to be out and about like this already?”
Ariana smiled slightly as she watched Fellowes say the same thing as Russell.
The two men were startled, as it was the first time Ariana had ever laughed out loud in front of them. Ariana's bright smile was truly lovely, like a fairy frolicking in the forest.
"I guess everyone thinks I'm as weak as when I first came to the East. I ate well and rested well both in the East and North, and now I'm healthy. I haven't caught a cold in that cold North."
“If that’s the case, then that’s good... but you're still too skinny, so this uncle is very worried.”
Fellowes also joined us for a walk in the garden.
Fellowes, who was asking Ariana various questions about what it was like in the North, suddenly grabbed Russell's wrist and said.
“Look, your father wears these cufflinks all the time, even at home.”
As Fellowes had mentioned, Russell's shirt had cufflinks with Ariana's face engraved on each sleeve. Cufflinks are usually worn with formal attire, so she hadn't expected him to be wearing them today.
"Your father hasn't taken it off since he received it, not even when he slept. Even when your grandfather suggested he take a look, he'd only let him look from afar."
Ariana blushed in embarrassment when she saw the cufflinks with her face engraved on them up close.
“Father, you can just keep this for your own collection.”
"You should wear good things often. If I wear this to meetings, everyone will be so envious. Thanks to you, I've become the envy of everyone lately."
She wonders if they're really jealous? She thinks they're probably cursing her inwardly.
Russell looked at his cufflinks again, as if he was delighted with the new look. The kind smile that played across his lips touched her heart.
If it were his father, Russell, he could buy dozens or hundreds of better cufflinks than those. What are they?
Looking into her father's affectionate eyes, Ariana suddenly remembered the dream from last night.
It's not like she can find out just by asking, but the question just popped out impulsively.
“Father, if I were to marry a man around 30 years old, would you allow me to do so?”
The smile that had been on Russell's lips vanished in an instant. His lips hardened, and a dark, murderous glint filled his blue eyes. A chill settled on his strong, broad shoulders.
Before Russell, who had suddenly changed in a flash, could even open his lips, Fellowes shouted.
“What kind of kid is that!”
The birds resting in the trees were startled and flew up.
Fellowes roughly grabbed Ariana's shoulders.
"What crazy old man is marrying you? Is that the Northern Territory guy? Who arranged it? The Northern Lord, that guy? Did he tell you to marry that old man from the Northern Territory? Just leave this little brat alone!"
At any moment, Fellowes seemed poised to strike at the North with his sword. Russell, who should have been trying to stop his younger brother, simply nodded silently.
Ariana was taken aback by their unexpected attitude. She'd only asked in passing, but she'd never dreamed this would be the reaction she'd get.
“No, that’s not it... Uncle, calm down. I’m not saying there’s such a person.”
“Then what is it!”
“I was just curious, so I asked... but it’s true.”
Fellowes squinted his eyes, examining Ariana's face closely, as if trying to determine if it was real.
“Really? You didn’t receive any threats from anyone?”
“Yes, of course. Who would dare threaten the Princess of the East?”
"Hmm. Yeah, well. That's good, if that's the case, but don't make such heart-stopping jokes. We almost killed that Northern Lord, didn't we, brother?"
Russell nodded and said.
“No one more than ten years older than you, Ariana.”
Russell pondered his daughter's question for a very long time.
How old is it, okay?
5 years old? 4 years old? No, 1 year old? Same age?
No matter how old the man standing next to his daughter was, he was not satisfied.
Ariana was overly pretty, incredibly smart, and occasionally breathtakingly adorable. It would take a man of her caliber to take her in, but could there really be a man like that in this world?
Does not exist.
'However...'
Russell stared at Ariana, who was staring up at him.
"Why are you suddenly asking me this? Do you have someone in mind? Could it be... the Northern Lord?"
His heart grew cold.
In Russell's eyes, Ariana was still too small and precarious.
Ariana was still that tiny baby he held in his arms the moment she was born, that fragile baby who couldn't survive without someone's help. To Russell, that was still the case.
Russell muttered without realizing it.
“Should we get rid of the Northern Lord...”
"Yes?"
“What did he say to you while you were in the North?”
Ariana blinked and shook her head.
“No. He just looked after me and protected me well.”
“So you liked him?”
Ariana was startled by Russell's sharpness, but she quickly answered without showing it.
“No way. I’m not even old enough for that yet.”
Fellowes nodded.
“Yeah, you’re not that old. Ariana, you’re still too young!”
She wasn't young.
Even at the age of fourteen or fifteen, countless noble young ladies fell in love and began dating. Ariana was old enough to love someone, but the men of House White were unwilling to acknowledge it.
Because in their eyes, Ariana still looks like a newborn baby.
"Your uncle is right, Ariana. But since you're so pretty, more guys will probably approach you."
“When that happens, come and tell this uncle. I’ll break his leg.”
“Yeah, that would be good.”
Ariana couldn't understand why her father and uncle were reacting so violently, but she felt a surge of goodness welling up in her chest.
The hole in her chest, which had already shrunk considerably, had shrunk even further. The harsh, desolate wind that had once blown in and out was barely noticeable.
Ariana lowered her head slightly and looked at her father's cufflinks.
Every time Isabelle bought something for Ariana, she was puzzled.
Why does this person keep trying to buy me things? What does she want from me? Does she want to spend money on her poor cousin?
Now she thinks she knows what that feeling is.
It's so heartwarming to see someone you love happy with a gift you gave them.
'It's good. It's as good as the person who received it, no, maybe even better.'
Every time Ariana wore the dress or shoes she had received as a gift, Isabelle always smiled happily.
It wasn't just Isabelle. Everyone who gave Ariana a gift did the same.
She never felt loved, so she didn't even know she was loved. Even as she felt the kindness and warmth they showed her, she drew a thick line and attached appropriate reasons.
Because they feel sorry for her. Because they feel bad for her. Because they feel sorry for her for abandoning her all this time. That's probably why everyone is so kind to her.
Feelings of regret, pity, and sorrow all ultimately stemmed from affection. And that affection was without reason. It wasn't given because someone was particularly smart, polite, pretty, or handsome.
Last night's dream came to mind.
-“I don’t think it’ll work. I’ll do it right now...!”
In the dream, Ariana became Russell himself, completely experiencing his emotions. In the dream, Russell had no idea how Ariana had grown up, what kind of personality she had, what she looked like, or how much she had learned.
However, when he heard that she was going to marry a man 14 years older than her, he was so angry and sad that his heart burned black.
It was still like that.
Russell and Fellowes cared enough for Ariana to flinch, tremble, and still cluck their tongues at the mere thought of her marrying an older man.
For no reason. Without even knowing what kind of person she is.
As she realized this, her eyes grew hot. An emotion of unknown magnitude filled Ariana's chest.
Ariana didn't even realize that tears were streaming down her cheeks.
Fellowes, who had been reciting the names of men who might approach Ariana, was startled to see Ariana crying and shouted.
“Oh, Ariana! Why are you crying? Huh?”
Russell also opened his eyes wide and asked Ariana as if he was rushing towards her.
“So what happened in the North?”
The spring sun shone brightly behind her father and uncle. The spring sky of the East was blue and beautiful, but to Ariana's eyes, her father and uncle were even more radiant, making her eyes go wide.
Only then did she understand why Shini would say 'nice weather' every time she saw Ariana.
“No, it’s just that the weather is… nice. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such nice weather.”
***
Russell returned Ariana to her room after their walk, but he seemed uneasy. He repeatedly reminded her, “You’re still young, Ariana. If any men approach you, be sure to tell your father, yes?”
Ariana entered the room, called the maid, asked her to prepare a bath, and sat down on the sofa for a while, placing her hand on her chest.
As she left the Northern Territory, Cyrus's actions left her with a sense of relief. Even after entering the warm East Territory, the cold winds of the Northern Territory blew in and out of the gaping holes, inflicting wounds here and there.
The sense of loss that had plagued Ariana until this morning had now faded considerably. The chilling wind that had been pounding her chest had also subsided.
Suddenly, something happened one day.
.
.
It was about two years after Ariana married Ingrow Alfreich when she visited the Duke Bronte for the first time in a long time.
While Viscount Alfreich went to speak with the Duke of Bronte, Ariana sat across from Rachel in the drawing room, listening to her nag.
Helena, who had rushed in at that moment, didn't even pretend to notice Ariana and sat next to Rachel, crying.
“Mom, listen to me. Do you know what Roent told me?”
Roent was the second son of a Count who was dating Helena at the time. To Ariana, it seemed like a trivial matter, but Helena blushed and whined, as if her world was falling apart.
"What kind of guy is that? Don't be so upset, Helena. I'll go and give him a word."
Rachel was indignant about that trivial matter as if it were her own. Ariana, sitting like a sack of barley placed in front of the loving mother and daughter, was terribly envious.
Ariana really had a lot to say.
Mom, our marriage is so hard. My husband beats me when he drinks. My mother-in-law insults me, saying I can't have children. My sister-in-law sometimes picks on me in secret.
The reason she swallowed what she wanted to say was that she knew what kind of reaction she would get if she said something like that.
"So, you should've been better at something? Useless. I knew you'd be like that there, too. Why aren't you good at anything? That's why no one likes you."
.
.
She thought no one would love her because she was useless and had nothing good to offer. Even after Ariana left the Bronte household, she remained trapped by her mother's curse.
And today, under the bright sun, Ariana learned that even if she was useless, untalented, and unproficient, there were people who would be angry with her for her.
Ariana picked up the lime green teddy bear sitting on the nightstand and hugged it tightly.
'Look, Helena. Now I have a family who will be angry with me.'
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