(110) Unexplained feelings (8)
It was an unexpected conclusion.
Cyrus had expected Ariana to not miss the opportunity to hit Victoria.
While incidents like Ariana's abuse and the custody dispute were major topics due to the high-ranking positions of her parents, they were ultimately family matters. The future course of the Bronte family could change that assessment.
But it was different when someone in the family underwent a blood ritual and became Paganus.
As Rachel was the daughter of the Lord of the West, the Bronte family would survive, but it was certain that they would lose their titles and become commoners.
Isn't that the revenge Ariana wants?
Ariana said calmly, as if she knew what Cyrus was thinking.
"If Victoria's paganism is revealed, the Brontes will lose their titles, but they'll still be able to survive. The Western Lord will be behind their backs. Even if they return to being commoners, the Western Lord will secretly support them. They'll be able to enjoy everything they've always enjoyed, just without their titles."
It was just as Ariana said.
Victoria will die, but the rest will be able to live as commoners under the protection of the Western Lord.
"Also, the Western Lord won't be in any trouble. He's a wicked man, and as soon as he finds out Victoria is a Pagan, he'll abandon his granddaughter without mercy. He'll make sure not a single drop of her blood gets on his clothes."
That was also true.
As the lord of a nation, no one could force him to shoulder the guilt of his granddaughter's crimes. While his position might be briefly shaken, he would undoubtedly regain power soon.
"The Western Lord's assistance must have been significant in Victoria's becoming Paganus. It would have been difficult for a young Princess of a ducal family to contact Paganus on her own. The Western Lord's intention is to make Victoria the Empress and seize great power. Victoria, too, was blinded by her desire for revenge against me, and she didn't hesitate to become Paganus."
Cyrus realized what Ariana was trying to say.
“The Princess won’t give the Princess of Bronte the way she wants, so she will continue to go wild.”
Ariana gave a faint smile.
"There's a saying that goes, 'The rope you throw will catch you by the ankle.' I love that saying. Even if I don't do anything, they'll still be on their way to destruction."
Ariana's voice was so sweet as she spoke.
"Besides, we share the same goals. Wouldn't using the beast that's trying to devour me to hunt the Northern Lord's target be the best path forward?"
The word 'we' sounded so good, Cyrus thought.
Cyrus had many people by his side who generously shared their talents with him. But never before had he felt more secure than now.
Ariana was a small, delicate woman, just entering adulthood, yet she exuded the air of an undefeated warrior.
Cyrus remembered how he once told her to become a warrior in her own way. She had mastered this method beyond his expectations, becoming a perfect warrior.
No, maybe it was like that from the beginning.
-“The more you look at it, the more you’ll find someone you want to keep by your side.”
Suddenly, his mother's voice came to mind.
When did my mother ever say something like that?
-“Why did my mother marry my father? Was it a marriage of convenience?”
The clear, cheerful voice of a young boy. The cheerful voice that Cyrus had now lost.
-“It was good. I enjoyed talking, and just sitting together was good. I missed being apart, and I missed the time we couldn’t meet... That’s why I wanted to be with your father without missing a single moment.”
-“I also want to spend every moment with my mother without missing a single moment.”
Yes, said the mother, smiling at that.
-“Someday, you too will find someone you want to keep by your side the more you see them.”
He couldn't understand why such a forgotten memory, so insignificant, was coming back to him at a moment like this.
Ariana pouts slightly, staring at the chocolate cake she's left over. Seeing her unable to lift a fork because of what happened earlier made his heart ache for some reason.
“Ariana.”
The voice that came out impulsively was deeply muffled.
Ariana looked up at Cyrus in surprise. It was a wonder to watch her white cheeks flush like a peach.
“It’s been a long time since the Northern Lord called my name.”
“The Princess never called my name.”
“How dare I call upon the name of the Northern Lord?”
“You were like that before, but now you’re a Princess.”
“Yes, my lady. Please speak.”
“Is there a Princess of the East here?”
“The Princess of the East? Why is she...?”
Seeing Ronia's bewildered expression, Victoria admitted she'd guessed wrong. Perhaps she'd been hallucinating because she'd been thinking too much about Ariana.
“You must have heard what happened between our Bronte family and the Princess of the East.”
At Victoria's words, Ronia lowered her head as if embarrassed.
"Yes."
"I can't say it's all lies, but there's a lot of distortion. People only believe what they want to believe, so they don't consider our position at all."
“I guess there is that aspect to it.”
"My mother and my sister Helena kind of hated my sister Ariana, but I didn't. I was very close with my sister, and I took care of her in many ways, avoiding my mother's notice... I think my sister was really hurt."
“Yes, that’s right.”
Victoria's eyes became moist.
"Someday, when I see her, I want to apologize. I should have protected her more, but I'm sorry I couldn't. Do you think she'll forgive me?"
“That will happen.”
Victoria wiped her eyes with a handkerchief and studied Ronia's expression. Ronia was Cyrus's maid, so she might report the conversation in this room to him.
Now that Ariana's abuse case had been proven true through trial, Victoria decided not to deny it entirely. Instead, she decided to shift the narrative by asserting that she was innocent of the abuse and that she had tried to protect Ariana, but was too young and powerless to do so.
Ronia, who was looking at Victoria sobbing with pity, continued speaking.
It was an unexpected conclusion.
Cyrus had expected Ariana to not miss the opportunity to hit Victoria.
While incidents like Ariana's abuse and the custody dispute were major topics due to the high-ranking positions of her parents, they were ultimately family matters. The future course of the Bronte family could change that assessment.
But it was different when someone in the family underwent a blood ritual and became Paganus.
As Rachel was the daughter of the Lord of the West, the Bronte family would survive, but it was certain that they would lose their titles and become commoners.
Isn't that the revenge Ariana wants?
Ariana said calmly, as if she knew what Cyrus was thinking.
"If Victoria's paganism is revealed, the Brontes will lose their titles, but they'll still be able to survive. The Western Lord will be behind their backs. Even if they return to being commoners, the Western Lord will secretly support them. They'll be able to enjoy everything they've always enjoyed, just without their titles."
It was just as Ariana said.
Victoria will die, but the rest will be able to live as commoners under the protection of the Western Lord.
"Also, the Western Lord won't be in any trouble. He's a wicked man, and as soon as he finds out Victoria is a Pagan, he'll abandon his granddaughter without mercy. He'll make sure not a single drop of her blood gets on his clothes."
That was also true.
As the lord of a nation, no one could force him to shoulder the guilt of his granddaughter's crimes. While his position might be briefly shaken, he would undoubtedly regain power soon.
"The Western Lord's assistance must have been significant in Victoria's becoming Paganus. It would have been difficult for a young Princess of a ducal family to contact Paganus on her own. The Western Lord's intention is to make Victoria the Empress and seize great power. Victoria, too, was blinded by her desire for revenge against me, and she didn't hesitate to become Paganus."
Cyrus realized what Ariana was trying to say.
“The Princess won’t give the Princess of Bronte the way she wants, so she will continue to go wild.”
Ariana gave a faint smile.
"There's a saying that goes, 'The rope you throw will catch you by the ankle.' I love that saying. Even if I don't do anything, they'll still be on their way to destruction."
Ariana's voice was so sweet as she spoke.
"Besides, we share the same goals. Wouldn't using the beast that's trying to devour me to hunt the Northern Lord's target be the best path forward?"
The word 'we' sounded so good, Cyrus thought.
Cyrus had many people by his side who generously shared their talents with him. But never before had he felt more secure than now.
Ariana was a small, delicate woman, just entering adulthood, yet she exuded the air of an undefeated warrior.
Cyrus remembered how he once told her to become a warrior in her own way. She had mastered this method beyond his expectations, becoming a perfect warrior.
No, maybe it was like that from the beginning.
-“The more you look at it, the more you’ll find someone you want to keep by your side.”
Suddenly, his mother's voice came to mind.
When did my mother ever say something like that?
-“Why did my mother marry my father? Was it a marriage of convenience?”
The clear, cheerful voice of a young boy. The cheerful voice that Cyrus had now lost.
-“It was good. I enjoyed talking, and just sitting together was good. I missed being apart, and I missed the time we couldn’t meet... That’s why I wanted to be with your father without missing a single moment.”
-“I also want to spend every moment with my mother without missing a single moment.”
Yes, said the mother, smiling at that.
-“Someday, you too will find someone you want to keep by your side the more you see them.”
He couldn't understand why such a forgotten memory, so insignificant, was coming back to him at a moment like this.
Ariana pouts slightly, staring at the chocolate cake she's left over. Seeing her unable to lift a fork because of what happened earlier made his heart ache for some reason.
“Ariana.”
The voice that came out impulsively was deeply muffled.
Ariana looked up at Cyrus in surprise. It was a wonder to watch her white cheeks flush like a peach.
“It’s been a long time since the Northern Lord called my name.”
“The Princess never called my name.”
“How dare I call upon the name of the Northern Lord?”
“You were like that before, but now you’re a Princess.”
He wondered what his name would sound like if her voice had said it, but Ariana was solid.
“We are allies, not close friends who can call each other by name.”
“Since we share the same goals and trust each other, wouldn’t it be okay to call us close friends?”
Ariana's eyes narrowed.
“The Northern Lord only uses me, and I only use the Northern Lord. It doesn’t seem like a relationship worth risking our lives for.”
He felt like he was hit in the back of the head.
Something huge pierced through Cyrus' heart.
He remembered what Isaac had said.
-“No matter what, if you keep saying that, you’ll definitely regret it someday.”
What did he answer at that time?
-“I have no regrets in my life, Isaac. Regretting the past only brings despair.”
Yes, that's what he said.
Indeed, it was. Cyrus never regretted his actions. If he made a wrong choice, he just had to work to fix it and make things better.
But now, when he sees the solid wall Ariana built between herself and Cyrus, he can't think of any way to break it down.
He regretted it.
The many words he'd spoken to Ariana blossomed into a single flower. The petals were so sharp they left a bruise on Cyrus' heart.
I see. This is what regret is. No matter how much you look back, you can't find a way to change it. This is precisely the moment you call regret.
He wants to take back his words, but he can't, and he regrets having to face that playful yet cold smile.
"I don't think there's anything left to discuss, Your Excellency. Dinner time is approaching, so I suggest you go and get ready."
Cyrus had no choice but to obey Ariana's cold words, unable to find a way to break down the cold wall surrounding her.
Even though Cyrus had left, his scent lingered in the room. A cool, pleasant scent. For some reason, every time she smelled it, her heart felt strangely tight.
Ariana opened the window wide.
A fierce north wind blew down from Mount Graten, but she stood in front of the window for a moment and felt the cold wind with her whole body.
The heat that had been burning throughout her time with Cyrus slowly subsided.
There was something strange about Cyrus just now. So strange, so strange, that dealing with him was difficult and burdensome.
As she recalled his hand brushing her lips, the barely contained heat seeped back into her. A heat that couldn't be dispelled by the cold wind.
Ariana closed the window, turned around, and saw the chocolate cake she hadn't finished eating. Then her face flushed again.
‘The Northern Lord is really...’
He was the god of the moon.
Many women were eager to meet him, and those who saw his beauty were captivated and wanted to have him.
She thought he wouldn't do that to her.
Having been treated like that by the Third Prince Harold, she thought she would never again be foolishly swayed by a man's sweet words or handsome appearance.
But her heart raced so much just because he called her name once.
'He's a dangerous person.'
If Ariana herself was like this, what about Victoria, who approached Cyrus defenselessly?
When she thought of Victoria, the emotions that had been stirring calmed down as if they had never been there before.
Soon, Cyrus and Victoria will be enjoying a feast together in the Ice Palace. Cyrus will be incredibly affectionate towards Victoria. Enough to sway her heart.
‘What you did to me a little while ago...’
Should he do it for Victoria, too?
She wiped the sauce off the side of her lips and brought the finger with the sauce on it to his mouth...
'No.'
She didn't want to think about it.
She didn't want to share his smile, his narrowed eyes, or his soft, gentle voice with Victoria.
'No, it's not even mine, so what's the point of sharing it?'
Her head felt like it was going to explode. Her consciousness was flowing out of control.
Even though Ariana shook her head, she couldn't organize the thoughts that were coming out in a tumultuous manner.
She guesses it's because she's alone.
Ariana hurried out of the room and headed to the Galleon Tower, where Isaac was.
Victoria was fully dressed for the dinner. With a moment to spare, she looked out the window and saw something sky-blue swaying past the small window of a distant tower.
Ariana.
Her fingertips got cold.
When she sees the color blue, when she sees a clear sky, she thinks of Ariana. And so, whenever the weather is nice, she feels like Ariana is looking down on her.
Victoria turned and called out to the maid Cyrus had given her.
“Ronia. I have a question...”
“We are allies, not close friends who can call each other by name.”
“Since we share the same goals and trust each other, wouldn’t it be okay to call us close friends?”
Ariana's eyes narrowed.
“The Northern Lord only uses me, and I only use the Northern Lord. It doesn’t seem like a relationship worth risking our lives for.”
He felt like he was hit in the back of the head.
Something huge pierced through Cyrus' heart.
He remembered what Isaac had said.
-“No matter what, if you keep saying that, you’ll definitely regret it someday.”
What did he answer at that time?
-“I have no regrets in my life, Isaac. Regretting the past only brings despair.”
Yes, that's what he said.
Indeed, it was. Cyrus never regretted his actions. If he made a wrong choice, he just had to work to fix it and make things better.
But now, when he sees the solid wall Ariana built between herself and Cyrus, he can't think of any way to break it down.
He regretted it.
The many words he'd spoken to Ariana blossomed into a single flower. The petals were so sharp they left a bruise on Cyrus' heart.
I see. This is what regret is. No matter how much you look back, you can't find a way to change it. This is precisely the moment you call regret.
He wants to take back his words, but he can't, and he regrets having to face that playful yet cold smile.
"I don't think there's anything left to discuss, Your Excellency. Dinner time is approaching, so I suggest you go and get ready."
Cyrus had no choice but to obey Ariana's cold words, unable to find a way to break down the cold wall surrounding her.
***
Even though Cyrus had left, his scent lingered in the room. A cool, pleasant scent. For some reason, every time she smelled it, her heart felt strangely tight.
Ariana opened the window wide.
A fierce north wind blew down from Mount Graten, but she stood in front of the window for a moment and felt the cold wind with her whole body.
The heat that had been burning throughout her time with Cyrus slowly subsided.
There was something strange about Cyrus just now. So strange, so strange, that dealing with him was difficult and burdensome.
As she recalled his hand brushing her lips, the barely contained heat seeped back into her. A heat that couldn't be dispelled by the cold wind.
Ariana closed the window, turned around, and saw the chocolate cake she hadn't finished eating. Then her face flushed again.
‘The Northern Lord is really...’
He was the god of the moon.
Many women were eager to meet him, and those who saw his beauty were captivated and wanted to have him.
She thought he wouldn't do that to her.
Having been treated like that by the Third Prince Harold, she thought she would never again be foolishly swayed by a man's sweet words or handsome appearance.
But her heart raced so much just because he called her name once.
'He's a dangerous person.'
If Ariana herself was like this, what about Victoria, who approached Cyrus defenselessly?
When she thought of Victoria, the emotions that had been stirring calmed down as if they had never been there before.
Soon, Cyrus and Victoria will be enjoying a feast together in the Ice Palace. Cyrus will be incredibly affectionate towards Victoria. Enough to sway her heart.
‘What you did to me a little while ago...’
Should he do it for Victoria, too?
She wiped the sauce off the side of her lips and brought the finger with the sauce on it to his mouth...
'No.'
She didn't want to think about it.
She didn't want to share his smile, his narrowed eyes, or his soft, gentle voice with Victoria.
'No, it's not even mine, so what's the point of sharing it?'
Her head felt like it was going to explode. Her consciousness was flowing out of control.
Even though Ariana shook her head, she couldn't organize the thoughts that were coming out in a tumultuous manner.
She guesses it's because she's alone.
Ariana hurried out of the room and headed to the Galleon Tower, where Isaac was.
***
Victoria was fully dressed for the dinner. With a moment to spare, she looked out the window and saw something sky-blue swaying past the small window of a distant tower.
Ariana.
Her fingertips got cold.
When she sees the color blue, when she sees a clear sky, she thinks of Ariana. And so, whenever the weather is nice, she feels like Ariana is looking down on her.
Victoria turned and called out to the maid Cyrus had given her.
“Ronia. I have a question...”
“Yes, my lady. Please speak.”
“Is there a Princess of the East here?”
“The Princess of the East? Why is she...?”
Seeing Ronia's bewildered expression, Victoria admitted she'd guessed wrong. Perhaps she'd been hallucinating because she'd been thinking too much about Ariana.
“You must have heard what happened between our Bronte family and the Princess of the East.”
At Victoria's words, Ronia lowered her head as if embarrassed.
"Yes."
"I can't say it's all lies, but there's a lot of distortion. People only believe what they want to believe, so they don't consider our position at all."
“I guess there is that aspect to it.”
"My mother and my sister Helena kind of hated my sister Ariana, but I didn't. I was very close with my sister, and I took care of her in many ways, avoiding my mother's notice... I think my sister was really hurt."
“Yes, that’s right.”
Victoria's eyes became moist.
"Someday, when I see her, I want to apologize. I should have protected her more, but I'm sorry I couldn't. Do you think she'll forgive me?"
“That will happen.”
Victoria wiped her eyes with a handkerchief and studied Ronia's expression. Ronia was Cyrus's maid, so she might report the conversation in this room to him.
Now that Ariana's abuse case had been proven true through trial, Victoria decided not to deny it entirely. Instead, she decided to shift the narrative by asserting that she was innocent of the abuse and that she had tried to protect Ariana, but was too young and powerless to do so.
Ronia, who was looking at Victoria sobbing with pity, continued speaking.
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