45. At the sound of your crying
Her eyes went white with the anger that suddenly surged up.
Ah, this is what it feels like when Ceres goes berserk.
This is what it means to say that there is nothing in front of your eyes.
“...Mom, you’re going to use this money to buy your brother a pen or something?”
Her voice was trembling.
Baroness Braden blinked at Diarin's unusual expression.
“Why is that?”
But it wasn't a look that showed she realized her mistake.
She had a puzzled look on her face, wondering why Diarin was suddenly like this.
Because she really doesn't know why.
The Baroness's eyes were bewildered, as she had no idea how sharp her words had become in Diarin's eyes.
Diarin's anger, which had been boiling in those eyes, disappeared without a trace as if it had lost its flame.
Instead of screaming, Diarin just chuckled.
"Yeah, you'd rather use the money I earned with my life to save my brother's face. Your pride is more important than my life."
"Why are you saying such things? And your life? What kind of work does a Priestess risk her life for? It's under the protection of the gods, and you're respected by others."
Those who have not experienced it do not know the pain of others.
No matter what anyone said, in Baroness Braden's mind, being a priest was a noble profession.
Having a daughter who was a priestess was one of Baroness Braden's prides.
“Sometimes God tells us to give up our lives.”
"Then you should be willing to give it to God. Perhaps he'll be more considerate of it because it looks so pretty."
Diarin ended up laughing.
It was easier to just laugh at things that didn't make her angry.
“Oh, Mom. It’s almost time for me to go.”
"Already? Go eat something before you go. Your brother will be here soon."
“No, I just came out for a moment. I’ll come back later.”
Diarin hurriedly got up from her seat.
She felt like her body would collapse if she held on any longer.
If her brother came, it would be best to avoid meeting his face.
“Diarin?”
But she definitely encountered such a person.
Of all places, at the entrance.
“Oh, brother. Long time no see.”
"...Uncultured. Like a commoner, who's your brother? And even if we're family, you should still be polite."
That's what a person called brother said as soon as he saw her face.
That's all he can think of when he sees his sister returning from the battlefield after suffering to death.
The fact that Diarin dared call him "Brother" and didn't treat the eldest son of the Baron with respect was more irritating than the fact that Diarin had come home after a near-death experience.
"...Ha."
There's no day that she can't stop laughing because of this damn corner of the house that always goes down to the lowest point she can imagine and stabs people.
“... Young Master Braden, you were classy.”
Diarin straightened up and returned to the shrine.
"Brother?" She never wanted to call this person that, even if it meant dying. It's been a long time since she's been that way.
Her brother immediately burst into tears.
"You..."
“I must leave now, as I am busy conveying God’s will. Yes.”
“Diarin! You’re acting like that towards your brother...!”
As her brother was speechless, her mother, who had been watching, became angry instead. She was still clutching the money bag that Diarin had handed her.
Diarin walked out the door without looking back.
Every time she came to this corner of the house, she saw something rough at least once.
It's so dirty and deadly that she doesn't even want to look at it again.
And yet, Diarin knew very well that it would come again.
She hated herself so much for being like this.
“Shall I stop the carriage?”
“...No. Please go straight to the mansion.”
“Yes, I understand.”
Diarin looked out the carriage window at the lively street scene.
The world that had been sparkling brightly until she left the temple had become gloomy.
It was a dark, bleak world, like a world submerged in water.
“Buy me some candy!”
“This is all rotting!”
And yet, the image of a harmonious family passing by, eventually giving candy to the child, flashed by.
“Oh my, so pretty!”
Parents applaud and place garlands on their children's heads.
Why are the people pouring out onto the streets so happy?
How can I live giving and receiving love like that?
A surge of emotion welled up in her heart.
Diarin had to bite her lips until they reached the mansion, afraid it would spill out.
The carriage passed through the festival streets, through the city center, and finally arrived at the main gate of a quiet mansion.
“Shall we go inside?”
“No, I’ll get off here.”
Diarin got off the carriage and started walking towards the mansion.
She thought that looking at the sky and getting some fresh air would help change her mood.
“Uh, uh...”
But it was completely wrong.
The corners of her mouth, which had been twitching as she walked, eventually collapsed when there was no one around.
“Ugh...”
Diarin burst into tears.
Tears fell one by one.
She walked, wiping her tears with both hands like a child who had lost her mother.
Let's just cry until we get to the mansion.
She's just that sad.
She'll cry a lot while walking, but as soon as she gets to the mansion, she'll wash with warm water and shake it all off with a refreshed mind.
Diarin, the young daughter of the sad Baron Braden family, who has been pushed around by her older brother her whole life, is only there until she arrives at the mansion.
When she arrives at the mansion, she must return to the priestess Diarin.
Because the priest has no family or status.
Just live her life remembering God's love instead of her mother's.
There's still a long way to go to the mansion.
It's been a while since we crossed the mountains and passed the lake.
So, it's still okay to cry.
"...Uh?"
But Diarin's tears did not last long.
“Mr. Ceres...?”
“Diarin.”
The mansion was still far away, out of sight.
But Ceres was standing right in the middle of the road leading to the mansion.
Diarin rubbed her tear-stained eyes, wondering if she had seen something wrong.
Even after wiping away her tears, Ceres was still Ceres.
Diarin came to her senses.
“Why is Mr. Ceres here?!”
Diarin ran and checked Ceres' hand first.
But Ceres's hands were white. There were no drops of blood visible.
Fortunately, it seems like no one has been killed yet.
“I heard a sound.”
"...Ah."
Diarin suddenly stopped what she was doing.
That person who was going to kill was me... Me?
When she shed tears, water would overflow from her body, but now she's suddenly completely dry, with no saliva left to swallow.
Diarin looked up at Ceres, her voice trembling.
“I cry too loudly, didn’t I?”
Are you really going to kill me?
If I look pitiful, won't you spare my life?
Diarin tried to make the most courageous expression possible.
But Ceres' expressionless face didn't budge.
...Is it ruined?
She must have cried so much today because she thought she was going to die.
Ceres's answer fell on the head of the discouraged Diarin.
"No."
"Yes?"
Diarin raised her head again.
“You said you heard a noise. Didn’t you run out because it was so loud?”
"No."
"...Then?"
“It’s the sound of Diarin crying.”
“...?”
She was now confident that she could interpret Ceres' words to some extent.
But it seems there was still a long way to go.
Even after hearing it, she still didn't understand it properly.
Still, Diarin tried to understand.
“You came running because I was crying?”
"Yes."
"Why?"
“...”
Ceres's eyes became more active at Diarin's question.
As if looking around would lead to the answer.
But there was no way the answer in his heart could be found like that.
Of course, Diarin couldn't see into Ceres's mind either.
“Did you dislike something?”
"...Hmm..."
“Did it bother you?”
"No."
She expected it to be around 120 questions, not 20 questions.
But she was used to finding answers one by one like this with Ceres.
Diarin's patience had reached its peak.
“It wasn’t loud. Are you surprised?”
“Um... yeah.”
“Oh, you came running in surprise because you thought something happened when I cried?”
Diarin barely got the first answer right.
But it seems it wasn't the second time.
Instead of answering, Ceres turned her head away.
“Um... I heard you crying, so you were startled and wanted to check?”
"No."
She was indeed surprised, but what happened next didn't make sense at all.
...Just surprised?
“You were so surprised that you didn’t even realize I was running out and just came out?”
Ceres thought about it and nodded.
“...That’s right.”
It was only then that she seemed to realize that he had been surprised and run out.
As if he were attacking without realizing it, when his reason had flown away.
He said he ran out at the sound of Diarin's crying.
“Ahaha? To my crying?”
“...I think that’s what it was.”
Diarin burst out laughing in disbelief.
What did you say?
Are you saying that you ran out so frantically at the sound of me crying?
“Oh, really. What should I do? Did I tame it? Hahaha... Ah.”
An obsession that contrasts with a family that doesn't appreciate her, no matter how well she does.
Suddenly, her eyes started burning, so Diarin covered them with her palms.
Her eyelids twitched in the palm of her hand.
“...Ah, really. Sorry. Don’t be so noisy. I’m at the mansion. I’ll go when it calms down.”
The tears welling up were something she couldn't do anything about on her own.
Diarin gritted her teeth and moved her legs as if she was going to bury herself deep in the forest.
At least she tried not to burst into tears where Ceres was.
"...Uh?"
Diarin sniffled and looked back at Ceres.
He had clearly fallen a few steps, but Ceres was right in front of her again.
“...?”
This time, Diarin looked up at Ceres, truly at a loss for words.
Then Ceres stretched out both arms.
“?”
A flood of questions filled Diarin's mind.
But before she could find an answer to that question, Ceres's two arms pulled Diarin towards him.
Her eyes went white with the anger that suddenly surged up.
Ah, this is what it feels like when Ceres goes berserk.
This is what it means to say that there is nothing in front of your eyes.
“...Mom, you’re going to use this money to buy your brother a pen or something?”
Her voice was trembling.
Baroness Braden blinked at Diarin's unusual expression.
“Why is that?”
But it wasn't a look that showed she realized her mistake.
She had a puzzled look on her face, wondering why Diarin was suddenly like this.
Because she really doesn't know why.
The Baroness's eyes were bewildered, as she had no idea how sharp her words had become in Diarin's eyes.
Diarin's anger, which had been boiling in those eyes, disappeared without a trace as if it had lost its flame.
Instead of screaming, Diarin just chuckled.
"Yeah, you'd rather use the money I earned with my life to save my brother's face. Your pride is more important than my life."
"Why are you saying such things? And your life? What kind of work does a Priestess risk her life for? It's under the protection of the gods, and you're respected by others."
Those who have not experienced it do not know the pain of others.
No matter what anyone said, in Baroness Braden's mind, being a priest was a noble profession.
Having a daughter who was a priestess was one of Baroness Braden's prides.
“Sometimes God tells us to give up our lives.”
"Then you should be willing to give it to God. Perhaps he'll be more considerate of it because it looks so pretty."
Diarin ended up laughing.
It was easier to just laugh at things that didn't make her angry.
“Oh, Mom. It’s almost time for me to go.”
"Already? Go eat something before you go. Your brother will be here soon."
“No, I just came out for a moment. I’ll come back later.”
Diarin hurriedly got up from her seat.
She felt like her body would collapse if she held on any longer.
If her brother came, it would be best to avoid meeting his face.
“Diarin?”
But she definitely encountered such a person.
Of all places, at the entrance.
“Oh, brother. Long time no see.”
"...Uncultured. Like a commoner, who's your brother? And even if we're family, you should still be polite."
That's what a person called brother said as soon as he saw her face.
That's all he can think of when he sees his sister returning from the battlefield after suffering to death.
The fact that Diarin dared call him "Brother" and didn't treat the eldest son of the Baron with respect was more irritating than the fact that Diarin had come home after a near-death experience.
"...Ha."
There's no day that she can't stop laughing because of this damn corner of the house that always goes down to the lowest point she can imagine and stabs people.
“... Young Master Braden, you were classy.”
Diarin straightened up and returned to the shrine.
"Brother?" She never wanted to call this person that, even if it meant dying. It's been a long time since she's been that way.
Her brother immediately burst into tears.
"You..."
“I must leave now, as I am busy conveying God’s will. Yes.”
“Diarin! You’re acting like that towards your brother...!”
As her brother was speechless, her mother, who had been watching, became angry instead. She was still clutching the money bag that Diarin had handed her.
Diarin walked out the door without looking back.
Every time she came to this corner of the house, she saw something rough at least once.
It's so dirty and deadly that she doesn't even want to look at it again.
And yet, Diarin knew very well that it would come again.
She hated herself so much for being like this.
***
“Shall I stop the carriage?”
“...No. Please go straight to the mansion.”
“Yes, I understand.”
Diarin looked out the carriage window at the lively street scene.
The world that had been sparkling brightly until she left the temple had become gloomy.
It was a dark, bleak world, like a world submerged in water.
“Buy me some candy!”
“This is all rotting!”
And yet, the image of a harmonious family passing by, eventually giving candy to the child, flashed by.
“Oh my, so pretty!”
Parents applaud and place garlands on their children's heads.
Why are the people pouring out onto the streets so happy?
How can I live giving and receiving love like that?
A surge of emotion welled up in her heart.
Diarin had to bite her lips until they reached the mansion, afraid it would spill out.
The carriage passed through the festival streets, through the city center, and finally arrived at the main gate of a quiet mansion.
“Shall we go inside?”
“No, I’ll get off here.”
Diarin got off the carriage and started walking towards the mansion.
She thought that looking at the sky and getting some fresh air would help change her mood.
“Uh, uh...”
But it was completely wrong.
The corners of her mouth, which had been twitching as she walked, eventually collapsed when there was no one around.
“Ugh...”
Diarin burst into tears.
Tears fell one by one.
She walked, wiping her tears with both hands like a child who had lost her mother.
Let's just cry until we get to the mansion.
She's just that sad.
She'll cry a lot while walking, but as soon as she gets to the mansion, she'll wash with warm water and shake it all off with a refreshed mind.
Diarin, the young daughter of the sad Baron Braden family, who has been pushed around by her older brother her whole life, is only there until she arrives at the mansion.
When she arrives at the mansion, she must return to the priestess Diarin.
Because the priest has no family or status.
Just live her life remembering God's love instead of her mother's.
There's still a long way to go to the mansion.
It's been a while since we crossed the mountains and passed the lake.
So, it's still okay to cry.
"...Uh?"
But Diarin's tears did not last long.
“Mr. Ceres...?”
“Diarin.”
The mansion was still far away, out of sight.
But Ceres was standing right in the middle of the road leading to the mansion.
Diarin rubbed her tear-stained eyes, wondering if she had seen something wrong.
Even after wiping away her tears, Ceres was still Ceres.
Diarin came to her senses.
“Why is Mr. Ceres here?!”
Diarin ran and checked Ceres' hand first.
But Ceres's hands were white. There were no drops of blood visible.
Fortunately, it seems like no one has been killed yet.
“I heard a sound.”
"...Ah."
Diarin suddenly stopped what she was doing.
That person who was going to kill was me... Me?
When she shed tears, water would overflow from her body, but now she's suddenly completely dry, with no saliva left to swallow.
Diarin looked up at Ceres, her voice trembling.
“I cry too loudly, didn’t I?”
Are you really going to kill me?
If I look pitiful, won't you spare my life?
Diarin tried to make the most courageous expression possible.
But Ceres' expressionless face didn't budge.
...Is it ruined?
She must have cried so much today because she thought she was going to die.
Ceres's answer fell on the head of the discouraged Diarin.
"No."
"Yes?"
Diarin raised her head again.
“You said you heard a noise. Didn’t you run out because it was so loud?”
"No."
"...Then?"
“It’s the sound of Diarin crying.”
“...?”
She was now confident that she could interpret Ceres' words to some extent.
But it seems there was still a long way to go.
Even after hearing it, she still didn't understand it properly.
Still, Diarin tried to understand.
“You came running because I was crying?”
"Yes."
"Why?"
“...”
Ceres's eyes became more active at Diarin's question.
As if looking around would lead to the answer.
But there was no way the answer in his heart could be found like that.
Of course, Diarin couldn't see into Ceres's mind either.
“Did you dislike something?”
"...Hmm..."
“Did it bother you?”
"No."
She expected it to be around 120 questions, not 20 questions.
But she was used to finding answers one by one like this with Ceres.
Diarin's patience had reached its peak.
“It wasn’t loud. Are you surprised?”
“Um... yeah.”
“Oh, you came running in surprise because you thought something happened when I cried?”
Diarin barely got the first answer right.
But it seems it wasn't the second time.
Instead of answering, Ceres turned her head away.
“Um... I heard you crying, so you were startled and wanted to check?”
"No."
She was indeed surprised, but what happened next didn't make sense at all.
I was just... surprised.
“You were so surprised that you didn’t even realize I was running out and just came out?”
Ceres thought about it and nodded.
“...That’s right.”
It was only then that she seemed to realize that he had been surprised and run out.
As if he were attacking without realizing it, when his reason had flown away.
He said he ran out at the sound of Diarin's crying.
“Ahaha? To my crying?”
“...I think that’s what it was.”
Diarin burst out laughing in disbelief.
What did you say?
Are you saying that you ran out so frantically at the sound of me crying?
“Oh, really. What should I do? Did I tame it? Hahaha... Ah.”
An obsession that contrasts with a family that doesn't appreciate her, no matter how well she does.
Suddenly, her eyes started burning, so Diarin covered them with her palms.
Her eyelids twitched in the palm of her hand.
“...Ah, really. Sorry. Don’t be so noisy. I’m at the mansion. I’ll go when it calms down.”
The tears welling up were something she couldn't do anything about on her own.
Diarin gritted her teeth and moved her legs as if she was going to bury herself deep in the forest.
At least she tried not to burst into tears where Ceres was.
“Diarin. You're in an excited state.”
Diarin sniffled and looked back at Ceres.
He had clearly fallen a few steps, but Ceres was right in front of her again.
“...?”
This time, Diarin looked up at Ceres, truly at a loss for words.
Then Ceres stretched out both arms.
“?”
A flood of questions filled Diarin's mind.
But before she could find an answer to that question, Ceres's two arms pulled Diarin towards him.
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