(40) I will prove my worth. (1)
Duke Russell White stopped in front of the drawing room.
He raised a hand to stop the chamberlain from knocking.
Russell stared silently at the closed door.
'If you open this door...'
Russell had written to Rachel over a hundred times by himself alone. He had written to Ariana too, probably over fifty times, when Ariana was old enough to read.
But he had never received a single reply. The last letter he had sent was seven years ago.
[ I want to meet Ariana. If you choose a place and time that is convenient for you, I will go accordingly. ]
Duke Russell White stopped in front of the drawing room.
He raised a hand to stop the chamberlain from knocking.
Russell stared silently at the closed door.
'If you open this door...'
Russell had written to Rachel over a hundred times by himself alone. He had written to Ariana too, probably over fifty times, when Ariana was old enough to read.
But he had never received a single reply. The last letter he had sent was seven years ago.
[ I want to meet Ariana. If you choose a place and time that is convenient for you, I will go accordingly. ]
He would have liked to rush to the Duke of Bronte's mansion, where Rachel lived, but his relationship with the Western Duke was strained, making it impossible for him to enter and exit the West as he pleased.
He needed Rachel's help to see Ariana.
But if even that was denied, he was determined to get to the West and see Ariana. As if she had guessed his feelings, Rachel was the first to reply.
[ Ariana does not want to meet Your Excellency. She regards my husband as her father, and they are doing well. If she were to meet Your Excellency, wouldn’t Ariana’s relationship with the Duke of Bronte become awkward?
Ariana is meant to live here in the West, and do you intend to disrupt her life because of Your Excellency’s greed?
Your Excellency keeps sending letters, and my husband is feeling uneasy. The Duke of Bronte regarded Ariana as your daughter, and every letter from Your Excellency reminds him that Ariana is your daughter.
If you truly cherished Ariana, wouldn’t it be fatherly love to put aside your longing for her? ]
When he read the reply, his heart sank.
I see. He had simply been too longing to consider Ariana’s situation.
For Ariana, who left the East immediately after birth, the West was her home, and the Duke of Bronte's mansion was her home. Jacob Bronte, not Russell, whom he couldn't even remember, was his father.
He missed Ariana so much, so much that he longed for that small, lovable warmth he'd held just once, that he couldn't fathom Ariana's feelings.
So he gave up. He longed for her so much that he hoped she'd appear in his dreams, but if that were to negatively impact Ariana's life, it was a wish he had to give up.
"If I open this door,"
He thought Ariana, whom he'd longed for so desperately, would be there.
The moment Ariana was born, the moment he'd held her small, fragile body in his arms, was vivid as if it were yesterday.
Unspoken affection, unspoken words overflowed in his heart.
Russell took a deep breath and nodded to the chamberlain.
The chamberlain knocked.
"Your Excellency, the Duke and the former Duke and Lady are here."
After a moment's wait, a frail voice spoke.
"Yes."
The door opened.
Russell swallowed hard, tried to relax his eyes, and strode into the drawing room.
A small girl rose from the sofa and caught Russell's eye.
With light blue hair, pale skin, and bright blue eyes, she was staring straight at Russell.
Russell tried to raise his arms to embrace Ariana, as his father had instructed, but before he could, Ariana bowed her head respectfully.
"Greetings to Your Excellency and the former Duke. I am Ariana."
A low, soft, yet firm voice grabbed Russell's ankle.
A distinct line was drawn between Russell and Ariana.
Russell paused awkwardly, staring at his daughter, who seemed even more distant than his subjects. She held her skirt with both hands, her knees slightly bent, her head bowed deeply. Her expression was hidden beneath her flowing hair, making it impossible to see.
Ariana remained in that position, as if waiting for Russell to greet her.
"Raise your head."
Only then did Ariana straighten up. She clasped her hands together in front of her, standing politely, and gazed at Russell's chin. As if she couldn't dare look the Duke in the eye. This wasn't the reunion Russell had envisioned.
Ariana was acting like a commoner encountering a high-ranking noble on the street.
But it wasn't Ariana's fault.
Her father, whom she'd never met, was bound to feel uncomfortable.
How could he make the child feel comfortable?
The affectionate second son, Jaydee, or the cheerful youngest, Fellowes, could easily put Ariana at ease, but Russell didn't have the same talent.
"Your Excellency, please forgive my sudden visit."
Ariana begged for forgiveness, as if she had misunderstood Russell's silence.
That wasn't it.
He was worried his words might sound harsh, so he was trying to find a way to soften them. Ariana spoke.
“I have no intention of coming here now to assert my rights just because I’m Your Excellency’s blood relative. However, if you’ll give me a small room in Chase Castle, I’ll help you, Your Excellency, both materially and spiritually.”
Every word that fell from Ariana’s mouth pierced Russell’s heart like a knife.
Only then did Russell notice Ariana’s appearance.
In the joy of meeting her, he hadn’t even noticed her appearance.
A worn, worn-out dress, a thin body that seemed to have been underfed, smaller than her peers, and the marks of old bruises on her forearms that showed through the sleeves, yellowed, cracked fingernails.
Russell had seen children like this before. Children are abused by their parents or masters.
He needed Rachel's help to see Ariana.
But if even that was denied, he was determined to get to the West and see Ariana. As if she had guessed his feelings, Rachel was the first to reply.
[ Ariana does not want to meet Your Excellency. She regards my husband as her father, and they are doing well. If she were to meet Your Excellency, wouldn’t Ariana’s relationship with the Duke of Bronte become awkward?
Ariana is meant to live here in the West, and do you intend to disrupt her life because of Your Excellency’s greed?
Your Excellency keeps sending letters, and my husband is feeling uneasy. The Duke of Bronte regarded Ariana as your daughter, and every letter from Your Excellency reminds him that Ariana is your daughter.
If you truly cherished Ariana, wouldn’t it be fatherly love to put aside your longing for her? ]
When he read the reply, his heart sank.
I see. He had simply been too longing to consider Ariana’s situation.
For Ariana, who left the East immediately after birth, the West was her home, and the Duke of Bronte's mansion was her home. Jacob Bronte, not Russell, whom he couldn't even remember, was his father.
He missed Ariana so much, so much that he longed for that small, lovable warmth he'd held just once, that he couldn't fathom Ariana's feelings.
So he gave up. He longed for her so much that he hoped she'd appear in his dreams, but if that were to negatively impact Ariana's life, it was a wish he had to give up.
"If I open this door,"
He thought Ariana, whom he'd longed for so desperately, would be there.
The moment Ariana was born, the moment he'd held her small, fragile body in his arms, was vivid as if it were yesterday.
Unspoken affection, unspoken words overflowed in his heart.
Russell took a deep breath and nodded to the chamberlain.
The chamberlain knocked.
"Your Excellency, the Duke and the former Duke and Lady are here."
After a moment's wait, a frail voice spoke.
"Yes."
The door opened.
Russell swallowed hard, tried to relax his eyes, and strode into the drawing room.
A small girl rose from the sofa and caught Russell's eye.
With light blue hair, pale skin, and bright blue eyes, she was staring straight at Russell.
Russell tried to raise his arms to embrace Ariana, as his father had instructed, but before he could, Ariana bowed her head respectfully.
"Greetings to Your Excellency and the former Duke. I am Ariana."
A low, soft, yet firm voice grabbed Russell's ankle.
A distinct line was drawn between Russell and Ariana.
Russell paused awkwardly, staring at his daughter, who seemed even more distant than his subjects. She held her skirt with both hands, her knees slightly bent, her head bowed deeply. Her expression was hidden beneath her flowing hair, making it impossible to see.
Ariana remained in that position, as if waiting for Russell to greet her.
"Raise your head."
Only then did Ariana straighten up. She clasped her hands together in front of her, standing politely, and gazed at Russell's chin. As if she couldn't dare look the Duke in the eye. This wasn't the reunion Russell had envisioned.
Ariana was acting like a commoner encountering a high-ranking noble on the street.
But it wasn't Ariana's fault.
Her father, whom she'd never met, was bound to feel uncomfortable.
How could he make the child feel comfortable?
The affectionate second son, Jaydee, or the cheerful youngest, Fellowes, could easily put Ariana at ease, but Russell didn't have the same talent.
"Your Excellency, please forgive my sudden visit."
Ariana begged for forgiveness, as if she had misunderstood Russell's silence.
That wasn't it.
He was worried his words might sound harsh, so he was trying to find a way to soften them. Ariana spoke.
“I have no intention of coming here now to assert my rights just because I’m Your Excellency’s blood relative. However, if you’ll give me a small room in Chase Castle, I’ll help you, Your Excellency, both materially and spiritually.”
Every word that fell from Ariana’s mouth pierced Russell’s heart like a knife.
Only then did Russell notice Ariana’s appearance.
In the joy of meeting her, he hadn’t even noticed her appearance.
A worn, worn-out dress, a thin body that seemed to have been underfed, smaller than her peers, and the marks of old bruises on her forearms that showed through the sleeves, yellowed, cracked fingernails.
Russell had seen children like this before. Children are abused by their parents or masters.
'Why?'
He was confused.
'Why does Ariana look like one of those children?'
There was only one reason, but he didn't want to admit it.
Even if Rachel was a vicious woman, he didn't want to think that she had abused her own daughter to this extent.
Russell was speechless, feeling as if he had been hit in the back of the head, but Ariana continued.
He was confused.
'Why does Ariana look like one of those children?'
There was only one reason, but he didn't want to admit it.
Even if Rachel was a vicious woman, he didn't want to think that she had abused her own daughter to this extent.
Russell was speechless, feeling as if he had been hit in the back of the head, but Ariana continued.
"I know that because of the Duke of the West, you've fallen out of favor with His Majesty the Emperor. I have a plan to turn things around..."
"My dear."
At that moment, Theodore, the previous Duke, cut Ariana off.
Ariana looked at Theodore with a startled expression, as if she had never been called "my dear" in her life.
Russell, who was simply intoxicated by the joy of seeing his daughter, didn't realize it, but the previous Duchess and her husband had sensed Ariana's condition the moment they saw her.
"I think it would be best to wash and eat before we talk about that, don't you think?"
"Thank you for your consideration. But before that, I want to prove my worth."
Carradine turned his head to the side, unable to bear to look at Ariana's straightforward words any longer.
That child was trying to prove her worth just to stay here.
"I want to let you know that it's safe to bring me into Chase Castle."
Ariana's heart sank as Theodore frowned.
"Did I say something wrong? I think I acted childishly."
Ariana had never lived like a child, so she didn't know how to act childishly. The closest children she'd ever seen were Helena and Victoria, but she couldn't imitate Helena, so she imitated Victoria.
She thought she'd done well by now, but both the Duke and the former Duke and his wife had displeased expressions on their faces from the moment they entered the drawing room.
Russell's gaze was cold, and the former Duke and his wife were frowning. It felt like one wrong move could get her kicked out before she could even stay a day, so she thought proving her worth was the priority.
When the former Duke called her "dear," she was surprised because she'd never been called that affectionately before, but she couldn't help but tense up when she was told to eat.
Since she was already here, he couldn't just kick her out, so he seemed determined to at least feed her and send her away.
"I have no ties to the Lord the Weer. I didn't come here on orders from the Duke of Bronte or the Duchess of Bronte, but I'm sure you'll find it hard to believe me if I say it myself. So..."
Ariana couldn't finish her sentence.
Carradine suddenly approached her and hugged her tightly.
A pleasant scent filled the air.
The scent was so sweet and warm that Ariana almost burst into tears.
But then a question arose.
'Why are they hugging me like this?'
No one had ever hugged Ariana like this before.
'They've never even seen me.'
She felt wary.
'What do they want from me?'
Those who had been kind to Ariana had always had an ulterior motive, so she couldn't help but be suspicious this time.
Having lived a life where the moment she believed in kindness, she was only exploited, Ariana had no room to genuinely accept the affection of others.
“It’s okay, honey.”
The old woman patted Ariana’s head.
“Everything’s okay. Let’s rest for now, yes?”
She soothed and comforted Ariana, leaving her in the hands of the head maid. The head maid led Ariana out to the bathroom.
A heavy silence descended on the drawing room after Ariana left.
Russell’s face was pale as he stared blankly at the drawing room door.
Finally, his red lips parted, and a hoarse voice flowed out.
“There’s a bruise on her arm...”
“She looks like she's been abused.”
Carradine said.
“Severely.”
Russell's broad shoulders flinched at the firm addition.
"Abuse... Who on earth...?"
"Who could it be?"
"Rachel is her biological mother..."
"You know. There aren't only good parents in the world."
"The letter clearly says she's doing well..."
"We were wrong to believe that and leave her alone. It seems something happened to her while we were locked up in the East. I need to find out."
The old woman, who had once fought alongside her husband on the battlefield, regained her composure and left the living room with a fierce expression.
Russell slumped down on the sofa. He bent forward and glared at the table, his blue eyes filled with painful sadness.
"She was too small,"
Theodore replied, his expression heavy.
"Yes. And she was too thin."
"Proving her worth..."
The childish, mature tone of voice and graceful, elegant demeanor cut through Russell's heart like a blade. Those unchildishly bright eyes stung Russell painfully.
Russell vividly remembered what his nieces and nephews had looked like when they were Ariana's age, and how they spoke. He used to imagine Ariana's life through their images.
But Ariana was beyond Russell's imagination.
The thought of how much bloodshed and effort the child had to endure to become such a child was unbearable.
"If her biological mother abused her, then what about others? I can only imagine what kind of place the West must have been for Ariana. Judging by her appearance, she must have run away for her life."
"What kind of parent would put their child through that?"
Russell abruptly stood up and shouted fiercely. The ferocity of a battlefield radiated from Russell's body.
Theodore calmly gazed at his son and said.
"Her mother was abusive, and her father was neglectful. To that child, her parents were so unreliable that they made her feel like she might be abandoned at any moment if she didn't prove her worth."
"My dear."
At that moment, Theodore, the previous Duke, cut Ariana off.
Ariana looked at Theodore with a startled expression, as if she had never been called "my dear" in her life.
Russell, who was simply intoxicated by the joy of seeing his daughter, didn't realize it, but the previous Duchess and her husband had sensed Ariana's condition the moment they saw her.
"I think it would be best to wash and eat before we talk about that, don't you think?"
"Thank you for your consideration. But before that, I want to prove my worth."
Carradine turned his head to the side, unable to bear to look at Ariana's straightforward words any longer.
That child was trying to prove her worth just to stay here.
"I want to let you know that it's safe to bring me into Chase Castle."
Ariana's heart sank as Theodore frowned.
"Did I say something wrong? I think I acted childishly."
Ariana had never lived like a child, so she didn't know how to act childishly. The closest children she'd ever seen were Helena and Victoria, but she couldn't imitate Helena, so she imitated Victoria.
She thought she'd done well by now, but both the Duke and the former Duke and his wife had displeased expressions on their faces from the moment they entered the drawing room.
Russell's gaze was cold, and the former Duke and his wife were frowning. It felt like one wrong move could get her kicked out before she could even stay a day, so she thought proving her worth was the priority.
When the former Duke called her "dear," she was surprised because she'd never been called that affectionately before, but she couldn't help but tense up when she was told to eat.
Since she was already here, he couldn't just kick her out, so he seemed determined to at least feed her and send her away.
"I have no ties to the Lord the Weer. I didn't come here on orders from the Duke of Bronte or the Duchess of Bronte, but I'm sure you'll find it hard to believe me if I say it myself. So..."
Ariana couldn't finish her sentence.
Carradine suddenly approached her and hugged her tightly.
A pleasant scent filled the air.
The scent was so sweet and warm that Ariana almost burst into tears.
But then a question arose.
'Why are they hugging me like this?'
No one had ever hugged Ariana like this before.
'They've never even seen me.'
She felt wary.
'What do they want from me?'
Those who had been kind to Ariana had always had an ulterior motive, so she couldn't help but be suspicious this time.
Having lived a life where the moment she believed in kindness, she was only exploited, Ariana had no room to genuinely accept the affection of others.
“It’s okay, honey.”
The old woman patted Ariana’s head.
“Everything’s okay. Let’s rest for now, yes?”
***
She soothed and comforted Ariana, leaving her in the hands of the head maid. The head maid led Ariana out to the bathroom.
A heavy silence descended on the drawing room after Ariana left.
Russell’s face was pale as he stared blankly at the drawing room door.
Finally, his red lips parted, and a hoarse voice flowed out.
“There’s a bruise on her arm...”
“She looks like she's been abused.”
Carradine said.
“Severely.”
Russell's broad shoulders flinched at the firm addition.
"Abuse... Who on earth...?"
"Who could it be?"
"Rachel is her biological mother..."
"You know. There aren't only good parents in the world."
"The letter clearly says she's doing well..."
"We were wrong to believe that and leave her alone. It seems something happened to her while we were locked up in the East. I need to find out."
The old woman, who had once fought alongside her husband on the battlefield, regained her composure and left the living room with a fierce expression.
Russell slumped down on the sofa. He bent forward and glared at the table, his blue eyes filled with painful sadness.
"She was too small,"
Theodore replied, his expression heavy.
"Yes. And she was too thin."
"Proving her worth..."
The childish, mature tone of voice and graceful, elegant demeanor cut through Russell's heart like a blade. Those unchildishly bright eyes stung Russell painfully.
Russell vividly remembered what his nieces and nephews had looked like when they were Ariana's age, and how they spoke. He used to imagine Ariana's life through their images.
But Ariana was beyond Russell's imagination.
The thought of how much bloodshed and effort the child had to endure to become such a child was unbearable.
"If her biological mother abused her, then what about others? I can only imagine what kind of place the West must have been for Ariana. Judging by her appearance, she must have run away for her life."
"What kind of parent would put their child through that?"
Russell abruptly stood up and shouted fiercely. The ferocity of a battlefield radiated from Russell's body.
Theodore calmly gazed at his son and said.
"Her mother was abusive, and her father was neglectful. To that child, her parents were so unreliable that they made her feel like she might be abandoned at any moment if she didn't prove her worth."
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