Side Story 25. I'll Light It Again
Look at this fallen lady.
Bjorn smiled, overcome with a sweet sense of defeat, as he saw his wife sitting on his lap and smiling.
The lady, who had fallen deeply, stripped off her nightgown and climbed onto his lap. Bjorn watched her with a calm gaze. Though she hesitated for a moment, seemingly embarrassed, Erna didn't cover her naked body.
A pregnant woman's body possessed a strange beauty, Bjorn thought, a little dazed. He'd assumed everything was the same except for the twins growing in her belly, but it seemed he'd been mistaken. The naked Erna before him was incredibly unfamiliar.
Bjorn's gaze, which had gradually moved downwards, past her swollen chest and belly, soon returned to Erna's eyes. Her cheeks flushed red, but Erna didn't avert her gaze.
“Isn’t it a little strange?”
Erna asked with a nervous smile. She'd summoned up a reckless courage, but when she finally exposed herself to Bjorn's gaze, she hesitated.
Erna knew what Bjorn feared. She, too, had shared his fears and wounds. So she gratefully accepted his restraint and consideration, but one day, a different kind of fear arose.
What if I'm no longer pretty to you?
She knew better than anyone that her body was never the same, but still, Erna hoped. She hoped she would still be beautiful in Bjorn's eyes. She hoped that, for him alone, the one person in this world, she could always be that way.
“Bjorn.”
As the silence grew longer, Erna's shoulders hunched slightly. She raised a trembling hand and gently stroked his cheek, and Bjorn smiled softly.
“If you are sick or in pain, tell me.”
Bjorn carefully pulled Erna into his arms and kissed her cheek, urging her to stay. His lips soon reached her slender neck and shoulders, then her voluptuous chest.
Erna shuddered as he gently grasped and kneaded her breast. Bjorn continued to kiss her, stroking her stiff spine soothingly. That vague fear from the beginning no longer lingered.
What, you're not some horny little beast.
He laughed self-deprecatingly at the fervent desire that made the time he had spent pretending to be a hypocrite seem meaningless, but he didn't want to stop.
Bjorn carefully laid Erna, who was panting heavily on his lap, onto the bed. He then gazed down at her strange, beautiful body, as if appreciating it.
“Bjorn...”
As the time dragged on, Erna called out to him, as if urging him on. Bjorn, who had just raised his head to look at her, had already become clouded with heat.
Breathing hotly, Bjorn leaned down and placed his lips on Erna's swollen belly. It was then that an unexpected laugh burst out.
“Is it very strange?”
Erna, startled, stopped stroking his hair and asked breathlessly. Bjorn slowly shook his head, kissing her swollen belly and smiling again.
“It’s strange. What should I say... It feels like I’m doing it in front of an audience.”
Bjorn, who had been examining the belly where the twins were growing, turned his gaze back to Erna. He frowned at the absurd expression for a moment, but then Erna finally laughed as well.
“Is Bjorn Dneister embarrassed?”
“Even I am not mentally prepared for that.”
“It’s okay. They are asleep now.”
Erna, making up a rather cunning excuse, stroked her belly, where the fetal movements had subsided. She kept her voice low, as if worried about waking the sleeping child. Bjorn's laughter, suddenly aware of this, permeated the snowy night.
Bjorn slowly entered Erna. Concerned that he might press against her swollen belly, his movements became slow and cautious. The gentle stimulation unexpectedly brought a great sense of pleasure. No. Perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a feeling of fullness.
Something as warm and gentle as this woman's body temperature filled his chest, a ticklish feeling. The memories that lingered like nightmares gradually faded in that warmth.
As Erna's moans began to grow more intense, Bjorn briefly withdrew. Then, facing Erna, who was now lifted onto his lap, he slowly thrust in again. They kissed repeatedly, caressed their still-beautiful bodies, and exchanged smiles as they gazed into each other's eyes. Bjorn's breath became as hot and ragged as Erna's. The fullness of this cautious act, unable to touch deeply or move as freely as he pleased, was almost comical.
Pretty.
Every time his eyes met Erna's, Bjorn would whisper the confession his wife so desperately yearned for.
You're beautiful, Erna.
That was also his warmest sincerity.
The snow continued to fall without stopping.
Erna, who was gazing at the beautiful patterns created by the shadows of the slowly dancing snowflakes, turned her head in surprise at the warm, damp sensation on her cheek. It was Bjorn.
Bjorn pressed Erna's shoulder as she tried to get up, and began wiping her body with a towel soaked in warm water. Erna stared at him with wide eyes. She hadn't even imagined that this was why he'd gone to the bathroom first, her body cooling down.
“Why? You don’t like it?”
Bjorn, who had been staring at the stiff Erna, asked. When Erna shook her head urgently, he began to move his hand again.
As the towel cooled to lukewarm, Bjorn went to the basin on the bed bench and soaked another towel. Every time she heard the splashing sound of water, Erna involuntarily wiggled her curled toes.
“You’ll hate it if I call a maid.”
He sat down next to the bed again and smiled slightly. This time, Erna barely nodded.
“Hey, you little lady. Why did you go back to being a little lady?”
He paused between her legs and asked a strange question. Erna blushed again and frowned.
“The babies are coming in.”
“So what? I saw it too.”
He gave a calm answer, and with slightly slower and gentler hands, he wiped away the remnants of love from her body.
Erna, overcome by a sense of utter awe, surrendered herself obediently to his grasp, staring at the ceiling. The fact that she felt even more embarrassed now than when he had first touched her was both amusing and sweet.
After cleaning Erna, Bjorn also personally put her pajamas back on. His hands were incredibly clumsy, but that made the moment all the more precious to Erna.
If I had known this would happen, I would have been brave sooner.
While she was feeling a little embarrassed and regretful, he came into bed and pulled Erna deep into his embrace. Lying across from each other, they stared at each other and burst into laughter without a word.
“Stop it.”
Bjorn smiled, his voice trailing a hint of laughter. "Yes," he answered obediently, but Erna couldn't easily close her eyes, which were filled with such expression.
“Bjorn.”
Erna mustered up her courage once again and opened her lips.
“Am I really pretty?”
“Otherwise, why do you think I do this?”
The question asked with such a serious expression was so absurd that Bjorn just laughed weakly.
“So, Bjorn, what if I’m no longer pretty?”
"What do you mean?"
“As time passes, all the flowers in this world wither. That’s what I’m always afraid of.”
Erna's voice trembled thinly.
Bjorn, understanding the fear his wife was expressing, chuckled, feeling a little disillusioned. He felt like he'd been treated like some kind of idiot, driven mad by a woman's face. Considering their starting point, it wasn't entirely wrong.
But, well, did all this love come from that one thing?
Bjorn loved the way this woman gazed at him. Every little gesture, every expression, every habit. Even her foolishly kind and old-fashioned qualities are all the more lovable for that very reason. The sum total of it all was Erna. Erna was beautiful, and he loved that beautiful Erna.
“It’s okay, Erna.”
Bjorn's smiling lips touched Erna's forehead.
“I’ll light it again. As much as you want.”
Bjorn promised with the heart of the almighty god of this small, beautiful world: Erna would never wither or fade. This beautiful woman was a flower blooming with love, and he would love her forever, blossoming flowers just for himself.
“Does that mean you’ll be my gardener?”
Erna, who was looking at him with intent eyes, asked an unexpected question.
From God to Gardener.
Although his status was lowered in an instant, Bjorn accepted it with a cool smile.
“Well, it’s similar.”
Although her expression was suspicious, Erna closed her eyes obediently without further questioning. As Erna's breathing gradually became more even and calm, the twins who had been wriggling inside their mother's womb also became quiet.
To the beautiful flower, who had a gardener, or perhaps an all-powerful god, Bjorn gave a kiss that held a promise. Again. Again. And even the baby Dniesters, secret witnesses of this love and promise.
Erna, who had overslept, woke up to bright sunlight. It was a bright winter morning, so warm that the snowy night before felt like a dream. Bjorn had already left to collect cookies for the Dniesters.
It started as an ordinary day.
She washed, changed, and chatted with Lisa, who was combing her hair. Having decided to refrain from socializing until the twins were born, Erna's winter was a leisurely one. Today's itinerary consisted entirely of tea with the Duchess Arsene, who was scheduled to visit Schwerin Castle that afternoon.
That ordinary day suddenly became special when Lisa was about to eat the breakfast she brought to her bedroom.
“Your Highness! Look over there! It’s a snowman.”
Lisa opened the curtains covering the balcony and shouted in delight.
Erna put down her spoon and walked cautiously toward the balcony. Four snowmen were lined up on the balcony railing, covered in a thick layer of sleet. A large snowman. A small snowman. And a baby snowman between them. It was unnecessary to wonder who had created these perfectly circular snowmen.
Erna let out a soft laugh and went out onto the balcony, wrapping herself in the shawl Lisa had brought her.
Mommy Dneister and Dad Dneister.
And baby Dniester, Bibi, and Nana.
Erna exchanged warm greetings with the sparkling white snowmen. The twin danced joyfully in her belly until the crisp, clear winter breeze tingled her nose.
Look at this fallen lady.
Bjorn smiled, overcome with a sweet sense of defeat, as he saw his wife sitting on his lap and smiling.
The lady, who had fallen deeply, stripped off her nightgown and climbed onto his lap. Bjorn watched her with a calm gaze. Though she hesitated for a moment, seemingly embarrassed, Erna didn't cover her naked body.
A pregnant woman's body possessed a strange beauty, Bjorn thought, a little dazed. He'd assumed everything was the same except for the twins growing in her belly, but it seemed he'd been mistaken. The naked Erna before him was incredibly unfamiliar.
Bjorn's gaze, which had gradually moved downwards, past her swollen chest and belly, soon returned to Erna's eyes. Her cheeks flushed red, but Erna didn't avert her gaze.
“Isn’t it a little strange?”
Erna asked with a nervous smile. She'd summoned up a reckless courage, but when she finally exposed herself to Bjorn's gaze, she hesitated.
Erna knew what Bjorn feared. She, too, had shared his fears and wounds. So she gratefully accepted his restraint and consideration, but one day, a different kind of fear arose.
What if I'm no longer pretty to you?
She knew better than anyone that her body was never the same, but still, Erna hoped. She hoped she would still be beautiful in Bjorn's eyes. She hoped that, for him alone, the one person in this world, she could always be that way.
“Bjorn.”
As the silence grew longer, Erna's shoulders hunched slightly. She raised a trembling hand and gently stroked his cheek, and Bjorn smiled softly.
“If you are sick or in pain, tell me.”
Bjorn carefully pulled Erna into his arms and kissed her cheek, urging her to stay. His lips soon reached her slender neck and shoulders, then her voluptuous chest.
Erna shuddered as he gently grasped and kneaded her breast. Bjorn continued to kiss her, stroking her stiff spine soothingly. That vague fear from the beginning no longer lingered.
What, you're not some horny little beast.
He laughed self-deprecatingly at the fervent desire that made the time he had spent pretending to be a hypocrite seem meaningless, but he didn't want to stop.
Bjorn carefully laid Erna, who was panting heavily on his lap, onto the bed. He then gazed down at her strange, beautiful body, as if appreciating it.
“Bjorn...”
As the time dragged on, Erna called out to him, as if urging him on. Bjorn, who had just raised his head to look at her, had already become clouded with heat.
Breathing hotly, Bjorn leaned down and placed his lips on Erna's swollen belly. It was then that an unexpected laugh burst out.
“Is it very strange?”
Erna, startled, stopped stroking his hair and asked breathlessly. Bjorn slowly shook his head, kissing her swollen belly and smiling again.
“It’s strange. What should I say... It feels like I’m doing it in front of an audience.”
Bjorn, who had been examining the belly where the twins were growing, turned his gaze back to Erna. He frowned at the absurd expression for a moment, but then Erna finally laughed as well.
“Is Bjorn Dneister embarrassed?”
“Even I am not mentally prepared for that.”
“It’s okay. They are asleep now.”
Erna, making up a rather cunning excuse, stroked her belly, where the fetal movements had subsided. She kept her voice low, as if worried about waking the sleeping child. Bjorn's laughter, suddenly aware of this, permeated the snowy night.
Bjorn slowly entered Erna. Concerned that he might press against her swollen belly, his movements became slow and cautious. The gentle stimulation unexpectedly brought a great sense of pleasure. No. Perhaps it would be more accurate to call it a feeling of fullness.
Something as warm and gentle as this woman's body temperature filled his chest, a ticklish feeling. The memories that lingered like nightmares gradually faded in that warmth.
As Erna's moans began to grow more intense, Bjorn briefly withdrew. Then, facing Erna, who was now lifted onto his lap, he slowly thrust in again. They kissed repeatedly, caressed their still-beautiful bodies, and exchanged smiles as they gazed into each other's eyes. Bjorn's breath became as hot and ragged as Erna's. The fullness of this cautious act, unable to touch deeply or move as freely as he pleased, was almost comical.
Pretty.
Every time his eyes met Erna's, Bjorn would whisper the confession his wife so desperately yearned for.
You're beautiful, Erna.
That was also his warmest sincerity.
***
The snow continued to fall without stopping.
Erna, who was gazing at the beautiful patterns created by the shadows of the slowly dancing snowflakes, turned her head in surprise at the warm, damp sensation on her cheek. It was Bjorn.
“My wife stays still.”
“Why? You don’t like it?”
Bjorn, who had been staring at the stiff Erna, asked. When Erna shook her head urgently, he began to move his hand again.
As the towel cooled to lukewarm, Bjorn went to the basin on the bed bench and soaked another towel. Every time she heard the splashing sound of water, Erna involuntarily wiggled her curled toes.
“You’ll hate it if I call a maid.”
He sat down next to the bed again and smiled slightly. This time, Erna barely nodded.
“Hey, you little lady. Why did you go back to being a little lady?”
He paused between her legs and asked a strange question. Erna blushed again and frowned.
“The babies are coming in.”
“So what? I saw it too.”
He gave a calm answer, and with slightly slower and gentler hands, he wiped away the remnants of love from her body.
Erna, overcome by a sense of utter awe, surrendered herself obediently to his grasp, staring at the ceiling. The fact that she felt even more embarrassed now than when he had first touched her was both amusing and sweet.
After cleaning Erna, Bjorn also personally put her pajamas back on. His hands were incredibly clumsy, but that made the moment all the more precious to Erna.
If I had known this would happen, I would have been brave sooner.
While she was feeling a little embarrassed and regretful, he came into bed and pulled Erna deep into his embrace. Lying across from each other, they stared at each other and burst into laughter without a word.
“Stop it.”
Bjorn smiled, his voice trailing a hint of laughter. "Yes," he answered obediently, but Erna couldn't easily close her eyes, which were filled with such expression.
“Bjorn.”
Erna mustered up her courage once again and opened her lips.
“Am I really pretty?”
“Otherwise, why do you think I do this?”
The question asked with such a serious expression was so absurd that Bjorn just laughed weakly.
“So, Bjorn, what if I’m no longer pretty?”
"What do you mean?"
“As time passes, all the flowers in this world wither. That’s what I’m always afraid of.”
Erna's voice trembled thinly.
Bjorn, understanding the fear his wife was expressing, chuckled, feeling a little disillusioned. He felt like he'd been treated like some kind of idiot, driven mad by a woman's face. Considering their starting point, it wasn't entirely wrong.
But, well, did all this love come from that one thing?
Bjorn loved the way this woman gazed at him. Every little gesture, every expression, every habit. Even her foolishly kind and old-fashioned qualities are all the more lovable for that very reason. The sum total of it all was Erna. Erna was beautiful, and he loved that beautiful Erna.
“It’s okay, Erna.”
Bjorn's smiling lips touched Erna's forehead.
“I’ll light it again. As much as you want.”
Bjorn promised with the heart of the almighty god of this small, beautiful world: Erna would never wither or fade. This beautiful woman was a flower blooming with love, and he would love her forever, blossoming flowers just for himself.
“Does that mean you’ll be my gardener?”
Erna, who was looking at him with intent eyes, asked an unexpected question.
From God to Gardener.
Although his status was lowered in an instant, Bjorn accepted it with a cool smile.
“Well, it’s similar.”
Although her expression was suspicious, Erna closed her eyes obediently without further questioning. As Erna's breathing gradually became more even and calm, the twins who had been wriggling inside their mother's womb also became quiet.
To the beautiful flower, who had a gardener, or perhaps an all-powerful god, Bjorn gave a kiss that held a promise. Again. Again. And even the baby Dniesters, secret witnesses of this love and promise.
***
Erna, who had overslept, woke up to bright sunlight. It was a bright winter morning, so warm that the snowy night before felt like a dream. Bjorn had already left to collect cookies for the Dniesters.
It started as an ordinary day.
She washed, changed, and chatted with Lisa, who was combing her hair. Having decided to refrain from socializing until the twins were born, Erna's winter was a leisurely one. Today's itinerary consisted entirely of tea with the Duchess Arsene, who was scheduled to visit Schwerin Castle that afternoon.
That ordinary day suddenly became special when Lisa was about to eat the breakfast she brought to her bedroom.
“Your Highness! Look over there! It’s a snowman.”
Lisa opened the curtains covering the balcony and shouted in delight.
Erna put down her spoon and walked cautiously toward the balcony. Four snowmen were lined up on the balcony railing, covered in a thick layer of sleet. A large snowman. A small snowman. And a baby snowman between them. It was unnecessary to wonder who had created these perfectly circular snowmen.
Erna let out a soft laugh and went out onto the balcony, wrapping herself in the shawl Lisa had brought her.
Mommy Dneister and Dad Dneister.
And baby Dniester, Bibi, and Nana.
Erna exchanged warm greetings with the sparkling white snowmen. The twin danced joyfully in her belly until the crisp, clear winter breeze tingled her nose.
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