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As soon as his subordinate left the office, Heiner immediately picked up the phone. He dialed the number with a familiar ease, without even bothering to check the number.
The call continued for a long time. Heiner tapped the desk with his index finger, waiting for the connection to be established.
After a rather long wait, the call finally connected. A man's voice sounded slightly out of breath.
[... Yes, Brunner, that... Ow! Olivia! Don't touch that!]
“...”
[Hello, just a moment!]
A loud clang echoed from the other end of the line. Heiner endured the prolonged commotion on the other end without changing his expression. After a few pauses, the man picked up the phone again.
[Oh, sorry. This is Brunner Groth. Who are you?]
“This is Heiner Valdemar.”
"Ah, Your Excellency! It's been a while since we last spoke. How are you? I heard the news of your victory. You're truly amazing, haha! Why am I the one receiving the honor...?"
“Thank you. I have a question about Annette. Can I speak to her?”
Heiner answered in a very businesslike manner and asked. Brunner said, "Oh," and then spoke in a slightly hesitant tone.
[Then should I change to Katrine? I think my wife knows more about Annette than I do...]
“Then I would appreciate it.”
Although his voice was devoid of any trace of gratitude, Brunner paid no attention and offered a few more words of congratulations and thanks for the victory.
[My wife is upstairs, please wait a moment.]
Heiner held the receiver and looked at the map on the wall. His gaze lingered on the Montiole area, where the Western Front was located.
While waiting for Katrine, he mulled over his subordinate's words. Frontline. Field hospital. War nurse... A hollow laugh escaped his lips. It wasn't even the rear. It was the front line, he said.
Frontmost line.
That woman was on the front lines. It was a joke that wasn't even funny anymore.
Attacking buildings bearing the emblems of hospitals or clinics was morally prohibited. However, this was merely an international moral principle and was not formally established by convention or international law.
Even if there was no intention to attack the area, shells didn't just avoid field hospitals. The front line was a hellish place, with bullets raining down and bombs exploding everywhere.
While civilians were dying indiscriminately, the danger was even greater for nurses chasing after the military, especially on the front lines.
But that woman is there.
[Changed the number. This is Katrine Groth.]
“...Hi. Let me get to the point. I heard something.”
Heiner, whose patience had completely worn out from waiting for Katrine, asked coldly.
"I heard Annette was on the Western Front as a war nurse. I don't think I received any specific information."
Only silence came over the phone. Heiner's jaw tightened. He asked again, his voice grim and warning.
“Is what I heard correct?”
[...]
“Is Annette at your house now?”
[Annette is not at home.]
Katrine responded very seriously.
[She's on the front lines, as you heard.]
"You..."
His mouth fell open in shock. Heiner's neck was bloodshot. He clutched the receiver as if he was going to break it and shouted.
“Are you crazy?”
[...]
"Did you see that woman go in there with your eyes open? If that's the case, you should have reported it to me right away! I'm sure...!"
[Your Excellency.]
A calm but determined voice, in contrast to Heiner's, lingered in his ears.
[That's her life.]
For a moment, he was speechless. Katrine continued calmly.
[Whatever life a person lives is their own. I've been reporting to Your Excellency about Annette because I felt it was necessary. It was to prepare for Annette's unstable condition and any potential threats to her safety.]
"Personal threat? Isn't Annette's presence on the front lines a personal threat?"
[It was her choice.]
“If you look at it that way, then that woman’s decision to die was also her choice...!”
[No, Your Excellency. Annette didn't go there to die.]
After a brief pause, Katrine spoke slowly and clearly, as if reporting something of utmost importance.
[She went to live.]
Heiner let out a silent, ragged breath and clenched his hands on the desk. The veins on the back of his hands bulged with the force of his hands. Silence flowed for a moment.
“That woman.”
He asked half incredulously, half genuinely curious.
“Annette... went there to survive.”
[Yes. To survive.]
"That can't be true. That can't be true... A woman who lacks the courage to do that. So, the courage to live, the courage to make that choice to survive..."
The somewhat rambling speech became increasingly slurred as it drew to a close. Heiner couldn't be sure, even as he spoke.
He always thought of Annette as a weak woman. A woman without the courage to die, or even to live properly. A woman who, without the power and wealth that supported her, could do nothing, just let her life slip away helplessly.
That's why he never once assumed the end. Even as he dragged her to her feet, he never once thought she would choose death.
“Honestly, I never once thought of such a conclusion.”
Not even once...
“You didn’t see me as a proper human being.”
That you are that kind of person...
[Annette is someone who knows how to take responsibility for her choices. Your Excellency, I don't think you understand that yet.]
“...”
[Before she left, Annette told me to help her become a better person.]
For some reason, he felt like he was going to vomit. Without realizing it, he lifted his hand from the desk and pressed the back of his hand to his lips.
[I don't know exactly what happened between Your Excellency and Annette. But if I had to guess...Your Excellency, perhaps, loves her.]
The call continued for a long time. Heiner tapped the desk with his index finger, waiting for the connection to be established.
After a rather long wait, the call finally connected. A man's voice sounded slightly out of breath.
[... Yes, Brunner, that... Ow! Olivia! Don't touch that!]
“...”
[Hello, just a moment!]
A loud clang echoed from the other end of the line. Heiner endured the prolonged commotion on the other end without changing his expression. After a few pauses, the man picked up the phone again.
[Oh, sorry. This is Brunner Groth. Who are you?]
“This is Heiner Valdemar.”
"Ah, Your Excellency! It's been a while since we last spoke. How are you? I heard the news of your victory. You're truly amazing, haha! Why am I the one receiving the honor...?"
“Thank you. I have a question about Annette. Can I speak to her?”
Heiner answered in a very businesslike manner and asked. Brunner said, "Oh," and then spoke in a slightly hesitant tone.
[Then should I change to Katrine? I think my wife knows more about Annette than I do...]
“Then I would appreciate it.”
Although his voice was devoid of any trace of gratitude, Brunner paid no attention and offered a few more words of congratulations and thanks for the victory.
[My wife is upstairs, please wait a moment.]
Heiner held the receiver and looked at the map on the wall. His gaze lingered on the Montiole area, where the Western Front was located.
While waiting for Katrine, he mulled over his subordinate's words. Frontline. Field hospital. War nurse... A hollow laugh escaped his lips. It wasn't even the rear. It was the front line, he said.
Frontmost line.
That woman was on the front lines. It was a joke that wasn't even funny anymore.
Attacking buildings bearing the emblems of hospitals or clinics was morally prohibited. However, this was merely an international moral principle and was not formally established by convention or international law.
Even if there was no intention to attack the area, shells didn't just avoid field hospitals. The front line was a hellish place, with bullets raining down and bombs exploding everywhere.
While civilians were dying indiscriminately, the danger was even greater for nurses chasing after the military, especially on the front lines.
But that woman is there.
[Changed the number. This is Katrine Groth.]
“...Hi. Let me get to the point. I heard something.”
Heiner, whose patience had completely worn out from waiting for Katrine, asked coldly.
"I heard Annette was on the Western Front as a war nurse. I don't think I received any specific information."
Only silence came over the phone. Heiner's jaw tightened. He asked again, his voice grim and warning.
“Is what I heard correct?”
[...]
“Is Annette at your house now?”
[Annette is not at home.]
Katrine responded very seriously.
[She's on the front lines, as you heard.]
"You..."
His mouth fell open in shock. Heiner's neck was bloodshot. He clutched the receiver as if he was going to break it and shouted.
“Are you crazy?”
[...]
"Did you see that woman go in there with your eyes open? If that's the case, you should have reported it to me right away! I'm sure...!"
[Your Excellency.]
A calm but determined voice, in contrast to Heiner's, lingered in his ears.
[That's her life.]
For a moment, he was speechless. Katrine continued calmly.
[Whatever life a person lives is their own. I've been reporting to Your Excellency about Annette because I felt it was necessary. It was to prepare for Annette's unstable condition and any potential threats to her safety.]
"Personal threat? Isn't Annette's presence on the front lines a personal threat?"
[It was her choice.]
“If you look at it that way, then that woman’s decision to die was also her choice...!”
[No, Your Excellency. Annette didn't go there to die.]
After a brief pause, Katrine spoke slowly and clearly, as if reporting something of utmost importance.
[She went to live.]
Heiner let out a silent, ragged breath and clenched his hands on the desk. The veins on the back of his hands bulged with the force of his hands. Silence flowed for a moment.
“That woman.”
He asked half incredulously, half genuinely curious.
“Annette... went there to survive.”
[Yes. To survive.]
"That can't be true. That can't be true... A woman who lacks the courage to do that. So, the courage to live, the courage to make that choice to survive..."
The somewhat rambling speech became increasingly slurred as it drew to a close. Heiner couldn't be sure, even as he spoke.
He always thought of Annette as a weak woman. A woman without the courage to die, or even to live properly. A woman who, without the power and wealth that supported her, could do nothing, just let her life slip away helplessly.
That's why he never once assumed the end. Even as he dragged her to her feet, he never once thought she would choose death.
“Honestly, I never once thought of such a conclusion.”
Not even once...
“You didn’t see me as a proper human being.”
That you are that kind of person...
[Annette is someone who knows how to take responsibility for her choices. Your Excellency, I don't think you understand that yet.]
“...”
[Before she left, Annette told me to help her become a better person.]
For some reason, he felt like he was going to vomit. Without realizing it, he lifted his hand from the desk and pressed the back of his hand to his lips.
[I don't know exactly what happened between Your Excellency and Annette. But if I had to guess...Your Excellency, perhaps, loves her.]
Love?
Love?
This wasn't love. Heiner knew how base his feelings were. Even he thought it was something beyond the realm of normalcy.
This couldn't be love. Just as Annette's feelings for him weren't love, neither were his feelings for Annette.
[Your Excellency, if you truly love Annette, no, at least as a human being.]
It was just a lump of very old, rotten, dregs of the heart.
[Please respect her choice.]
Just dirty and ugly...
It was something like that.
“Anne.”
"Why?"
“How do you know you love your lover?”
"What, out of the blue? Heiner, do you have a girlfriend?"
“I’m not sure if it’s long or short.”
"What, is there really a woman? Hey, no. I feel bad for her already."
“How do you know?”
“Um... how would I know? It’s just good because it’s good.”
“How do you know specifically that it’s good?”
"Specifically? It's just, you know, I feel good when I'm with that person, I feel like I've become a better person when I'm with them, and the world seems more beautiful when we're together. Something like that, haha."
“Just hearing it makes me sound stupid.”
"Why is this a problem again? But when you love someone, you end up doing a lot of stupid things."
“But do you still want to continue?”
"Yes."
"Why?"
“Well, just...”
“...”
“Love makes me a better person.”
A glimpse of golden hair flashed through the second-floor window. Heiner turned around, raised his head, and stood still for a long moment. The cold winter wind bit into his collar.
It was a stupid thing to do.
There was no reason to go all the way here. It could have been done by someone else, like delivering the compensation. No, it was something that needed to be done.
It was truly a waste of time, especially given the timing. The woman didn't even bother to come out and see him.
'Still...'
The eyes staring at his golden hair darkened slightly. White breath escaped from between his lips.
Just seeing a face passing by the window for a moment─ that's enough. How foolish of me am I?
Heiner barely managed to hold back his legs, which were about to rush inside the house. He knew that once he started, there would be no turning back. He had a place he had to return to.
Heiner was soon to head to the command post near the front lines. He looked down at his empty hands for a moment. In those hands, the lives of countless men were held.
He clenched his fists and raised his head again. A pang of pain pierced his chest. He wished time would just stop.
You are just there.
I'm just standing here facing you.
Like that moment when a young boy looked at it longingly from afar...
Even though this is not love.
“But when you love someone, you end up doing a lot of stupid things.”
“...At least there is one thing that is the same.”
Heiner muttered bitterly. Soon, not even her shadow was visible from the window.
After hesitating for a moment, he slowly turned around. In the place he had left behind, only the cold, dry air lingered like lingering snow.
Love?
This wasn't love. Heiner knew how base his feelings were. Even he thought it was something beyond the realm of normalcy.
This couldn't be love. Just as Annette's feelings for him weren't love, neither were his feelings for Annette.
[Your Excellency, if you truly love Annette, no, at least as a human being.]
It was just a lump of very old, rotten, dregs of the heart.
[Please respect her choice.]
Just dirty and ugly...
It was something like that.
***
“Anne.”
"Why?"
“How do you know you love your lover?”
"What, out of the blue? Heiner, do you have a girlfriend?"
“I’m not sure if it’s long or short.”
"What, is there really a woman? Hey, no. I feel bad for her already."
“How do you know?”
“Um... how would I know? It’s just good because it’s good.”
“How do you know specifically that it’s good?”
"Specifically? It's just, you know, I feel good when I'm with that person, I feel like I've become a better person when I'm with them, and the world seems more beautiful when we're together. Something like that, haha."
“Just hearing it makes me sound stupid.”
"Why is this a problem again? But when you love someone, you end up doing a lot of stupid things."
“But do you still want to continue?”
"Yes."
"Why?"
“Well, just...”
“...”
“Love makes me a better person.”
A glimpse of golden hair flashed through the second-floor window. Heiner turned around, raised his head, and stood still for a long moment. The cold winter wind bit into his collar.
It was a stupid thing to do.
There was no reason to go all the way here. It could have been done by someone else, like delivering the compensation. No, it was something that needed to be done.
It was truly a waste of time, especially given the timing. The woman didn't even bother to come out and see him.
'Still...'
The eyes staring at his golden hair darkened slightly. White breath escaped from between his lips.
Just seeing a face passing by the window for a moment─ that's enough. How foolish of me am I?
Heiner barely managed to hold back his legs, which were about to rush inside the house. He knew that once he started, there would be no turning back. He had a place he had to return to.
Heiner was soon to head to the command post near the front lines. He looked down at his empty hands for a moment. In those hands, the lives of countless men were held.
He clenched his fists and raised his head again. A pang of pain pierced his chest. He wished time would just stop.
You are just there.
I'm just standing here facing you.
Like that moment when a young boy looked at it longingly from afar...
Even though this is not love.
“But when you love someone, you end up doing a lot of stupid things.”
“...At least there is one thing that is the same.”
Heiner muttered bitterly. Soon, not even her shadow was visible from the window.
After hesitating for a moment, he slowly turned around. In the place he had left behind, only the cold, dry air lingered like lingering snow.
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