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Annette attended the dinner held after Heiner's inauguration.
Sitting directly across from him, she listened intently to his stories, sometimes even covering her mouth with her hand and letting out a small laugh.
The atmosphere was cheerful throughout, but he couldn't shake the feeling of being alone and isolated. It was as if he were in a place he shouldn't be.
Heiner was seized with a strange fear whenever she acknowledged his presence, looked him in the eye, and called his name.
She was someone he always watched from afar. She was someone he longed for. She was someone so distant that he couldn't even dare speak to her.
The gaze of the young lady, who seemed like an unreachable saint, was filled with fear rather than excitement. Before those glassy eyes, Heiner struggled to breathe.
Now officially commissioned, he was no longer a miserable orphan boy. He was a promising young officer, a trusted confidant of the Marquis.
Still, she made him feel infinitely low and humble.
Still, he hated himself for not being able to take his eyes off her.
Since their first meeting, they've met quite frequently. Sometimes at the Marquis's mansion, sometimes at a social party hosted by a nobleman, and sometimes at a concert hall.
Some were coincidental, some not. Either way, they met quite often.
Around that time, the Sutherland Island training camp was devastated by a raid by spies. Margrave Dietrich ordered a strict investigation.
Trainees who hadn't even reached adulthood were interrogated. If unlucky, they were suspected of being spies and executed. Many who had already graduated and were still active in the military were also taken away.
Whether there really was a spy at the training camp or it was just a rumor—Heiner didn't know. Of course, he didn't think it was entirely false. He had seen the precedent of Jackson.
But is this really right?
Heiner questioned. He wasn't qualified to judge good and evil, but he could at least question it.
Is this right?
He questioned and questioned again, but he couldn't come to a conclusion. However, he wanted to bring down the Marquis.
It was around that time that Heiner began to join the revolutionary army little by little.
The existence of the Padania Revolutionary Army was discovered when Frances stole secrets and fled. Frances was secretly supporting the Revolutionary Army to instigate internal strife in Padania.
He had originally intended to report it to the Marquis. However, upon returning to Padania alone, he destroyed the document.
Afterwards, Heiner occasionally passed on military information and supplies, both large and small, anonymously to the revolutionary forces. He did so despite the knowledge that if caught, he would be summarily executed.
It wasn't driven by a strong sense of justice or purpose. It was driven by a broken and twisted mind.
That woman.
Annette Rosenberg.
It felt like the fact that there was so much blood on his hands, that his life was in this state, was all because of that woman. No, it was because of her.
So someone had to be held accountable.
In any way.
Heiner prayed every night before a candle he couldn't extinguish. He didn't believe in God, but he simply recited it over and over again as a lifelong prayer.
I hope you despair as much as I despaired. I hope you lose as much as I lost. You were there in my unfortunate moments, so I hope you'll be there in yours.
As my life has been dark for so long, I hope yours will be too...
A prayer that reached nowhere scattered from his lips. With a whoosh, the candle flickered.
On the fourth day of their meeting, Heiner stopped her for a moment before leaving and asked her.
"Miss Annette, do you have time this weekend? If it's not too much trouble... I'd like to treat you to a meal."
Annette nodded, smiling shyly but with familiarity.
She had been attracted to Heiner since they first met, a fact Heiner could easily sense.
But he also knew how light and superficial Annette's feelings were.
"Miss Annette, she's a huge romantic. And that's because of your looks. That's why you don't only date men of high status."
She's probably dated a lot of men she's had casual crushes on, only to break up with them when her feelings for them faded.
Annette Rosenberg was the most beautiful and noble woman in Launceston. If she wanted it, there was no man she couldn't have.
To her, he would just be one of those many dates...
It shouldn't have passed like that.
He couldn't be one of those people who meet and then break up easily. He had to be the ideal partner she wanted.
The colonel's secretary preferred rational, intelligent men. Heiner approached her under the guise of a lawyer.
A competent lawyer, someone with whom she could engage in sophisticated conversations about international affairs and economic trends. Heiner brilliantly portrayed her ideal type.
Within a short period of time, the secretary became completely smitten with Heiner. Before they could officially become lovers, the operation was a success, and he suddenly left her without a word.
Everything was the same as it was then, Heiner thought. Changing identities and personalities was something he was used to.
Heiner began to gather all the information he could about Annette.
Her hobbies, her taste in food, her favorite books and operas, the artists she admires, the concerts she's seen recently, the places she's been and the places she hasn't, the types of men she's dated before, why she broke up with them...
He knew Annette Rosenberg so well that he guided all conversations around her interests.
“Oh, have you read that book?”
"Yes. It's one of my favorite books. The scene right after Ivan escapes from prison is so striking that it stays with me."
"I love that scene too! The portrayal of Ivan's twisted and broken mind as he contemplates whether to return to prison is truly..."
“It’s not a very famous book, so, surprisingly, Miss Rosenberg read it.”
"That's right. I find it fascinating, too. I used to think all soldiers didn't like literature."
“Haha, why did you think so?”
"Please don't think of this as a commonplace prejudice. As you know, half the men I've met, including my father, are soldiers. They all believe, out of ten, that literature makes the world unhappy and pessimistic."
“It is the job of writers to reveal the light and dark sides of society.”
"Mr. Valdemar, you choose your words literally. Aren't you actually a writer on the side?"
“Oh, I got caught.”
“Ahaha, what book did you write, author?”
“I wrote a tactics book analyzing the aspects of second-generation warfare.”
“Then I don’t want to see it.”
Heiner met with Annette regularly. He ate the foods she liked, went to the places she liked, and did the things she liked.
He always gave her a flower whenever they met. If there was anything she noticed while they were together, he would secretly buy it and give it to her just before they parted ways.
Heiner tried to fit himself perfectly into her tastes.
A young and promising officer who knows how to take care of himself, dresses well, is affectionate, delicate, romantic, yet not too frivolous, and loves culture and the arts.
Everything went smoothly.
Annette was a woman unlike him in every way. She was accustomed to being loved, and she was equally lovable. Heiner wished she were unlovable.
Everything went smoothly.
Sometimes, Heiner would suddenly find himself engrossed in the act of pretending to be her lover. When he broke up with her and returned home, it felt like waking from a sweet dream.
Everything went smoothly.
Every time Heiner met Annette, he discovered a new side of her. She was kind and gentle, yet at the same time, extremely aristocratic.
It wasn't so much her nature as it was the life she was given. No one attacked her, so she had no need to attack anyone.
That's why she could be good, and that's why she could be kind.
It was the task of his life to awaken her to the cruelty of the world, and it was the complete opposite of his life, where he had to kill to avoid dying.
Heiner simultaneously admired and hated everything she enjoyed, and he wanted to destroy it. The more frequently he met her, the more his longing and obsession grew.
Everything is going smoothly...
“Mr. Valdemar, what makes you think that?”
"...Ah."
Heiner, coming to his senses, let out a small gasp. Annette was staring at him, her eyes wide.
He didn't sleep well last night, so he was a little dazed. He ran his palm over his face and apologized.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy lately.”
"I heard you were busy. Why didn't you just rest? It's not even our usual day to meet..."
Heiner smiled brightly and answered calmly.
“Are there days when we meet and days when we don’t? I just see you when I want to.”
Annette stared blankly up at him for a moment, not responding. An awkward silence followed. Heiner watched her expression, wondering if he'd said something wrong.
“Mr. Valdemar.”
But the words that came out of Annette's mouth were a little different from what he had expected.
“Why don’t you confess to me?”
Sitting directly across from him, she listened intently to his stories, sometimes even covering her mouth with her hand and letting out a small laugh.
The atmosphere was cheerful throughout, but he couldn't shake the feeling of being alone and isolated. It was as if he were in a place he shouldn't be.
Heiner was seized with a strange fear whenever she acknowledged his presence, looked him in the eye, and called his name.
She was someone he always watched from afar. She was someone he longed for. She was someone so distant that he couldn't even dare speak to her.
The gaze of the young lady, who seemed like an unreachable saint, was filled with fear rather than excitement. Before those glassy eyes, Heiner struggled to breathe.
Now officially commissioned, he was no longer a miserable orphan boy. He was a promising young officer, a trusted confidant of the Marquis.
Still, she made him feel infinitely low and humble.
Still, he hated himself for not being able to take his eyes off her.
Since their first meeting, they've met quite frequently. Sometimes at the Marquis's mansion, sometimes at a social party hosted by a nobleman, and sometimes at a concert hall.
Some were coincidental, some not. Either way, they met quite often.
Around that time, the Sutherland Island training camp was devastated by a raid by spies. Margrave Dietrich ordered a strict investigation.
Trainees who hadn't even reached adulthood were interrogated. If unlucky, they were suspected of being spies and executed. Many who had already graduated and were still active in the military were also taken away.
Whether there really was a spy at the training camp or it was just a rumor—Heiner didn't know. Of course, he didn't think it was entirely false. He had seen the precedent of Jackson.
But is this really right?
Heiner questioned. He wasn't qualified to judge good and evil, but he could at least question it.
Is this right?
He questioned and questioned again, but he couldn't come to a conclusion. However, he wanted to bring down the Marquis.
It was around that time that Heiner began to join the revolutionary army little by little.
The existence of the Padania Revolutionary Army was discovered when Frances stole secrets and fled. Frances was secretly supporting the Revolutionary Army to instigate internal strife in Padania.
He had originally intended to report it to the Marquis. However, upon returning to Padania alone, he destroyed the document.
Afterwards, Heiner occasionally passed on military information and supplies, both large and small, anonymously to the revolutionary forces. He did so despite the knowledge that if caught, he would be summarily executed.
It wasn't driven by a strong sense of justice or purpose. It was driven by a broken and twisted mind.
That woman.
Annette Rosenberg.
It felt like the fact that there was so much blood on his hands, that his life was in this state, was all because of that woman. No, it was because of her.
So someone had to be held accountable.
In any way.
Heiner prayed every night before a candle he couldn't extinguish. He didn't believe in God, but he simply recited it over and over again as a lifelong prayer.
I hope you despair as much as I despaired. I hope you lose as much as I lost. You were there in my unfortunate moments, so I hope you'll be there in yours.
As my life has been dark for so long, I hope yours will be too...
A prayer that reached nowhere scattered from his lips. With a whoosh, the candle flickered.
***
On the fourth day of their meeting, Heiner stopped her for a moment before leaving and asked her.
"Miss Annette, do you have time this weekend? If it's not too much trouble... I'd like to treat you to a meal."
Annette nodded, smiling shyly but with familiarity.
She had been attracted to Heiner since they first met, a fact Heiner could easily sense.
But he also knew how light and superficial Annette's feelings were.
"Miss Annette, she's a huge romantic. And that's because of your looks. That's why you don't only date men of high status."
She's probably dated a lot of men she's had casual crushes on, only to break up with them when her feelings for them faded.
Annette Rosenberg was the most beautiful and noble woman in Launceston. If she wanted it, there was no man she couldn't have.
To her, he would just be one of those many dates...
It shouldn't have passed like that.
He couldn't be one of those people who meet and then break up easily. He had to be the ideal partner she wanted.
Playing the perfect lover wasn't difficult. In the past, Heiner had once pretended to be the lover of Colonel Lobanov's secretary for a short time to assassinate the colonel.
A competent lawyer, someone with whom she could engage in sophisticated conversations about international affairs and economic trends. Heiner brilliantly portrayed her ideal type.
Within a short period of time, the secretary became completely smitten with Heiner. Before they could officially become lovers, the operation was a success, and he suddenly left her without a word.
Everything was the same as it was then, Heiner thought. Changing identities and personalities was something he was used to.
Heiner began to gather all the information he could about Annette.
Her hobbies, her taste in food, her favorite books and operas, the artists she admires, the concerts she's seen recently, the places she's been and the places she hasn't, the types of men she's dated before, why she broke up with them...
He knew Annette Rosenberg so well that he guided all conversations around her interests.
“Oh, have you read that book?”
"Yes. It's one of my favorite books. The scene right after Ivan escapes from prison is so striking that it stays with me."
"I love that scene too! The portrayal of Ivan's twisted and broken mind as he contemplates whether to return to prison is truly..."
“It’s not a very famous book, so, surprisingly, Miss Rosenberg read it.”
"That's right. I find it fascinating, too. I used to think all soldiers didn't like literature."
“Haha, why did you think so?”
"Please don't think of this as a commonplace prejudice. As you know, half the men I've met, including my father, are soldiers. They all believe, out of ten, that literature makes the world unhappy and pessimistic."
“It is the job of writers to reveal the light and dark sides of society.”
"Mr. Valdemar, you choose your words literally. Aren't you actually a writer on the side?"
“Oh, I got caught.”
“Ahaha, what book did you write, author?”
“I wrote a tactics book analyzing the aspects of second-generation warfare.”
“Then I don’t want to see it.”
Heiner met with Annette regularly. He ate the foods she liked, went to the places she liked, and did the things she liked.
He always gave her a flower whenever they met. If there was anything she noticed while they were together, he would secretly buy it and give it to her just before they parted ways.
Heiner tried to fit himself perfectly into her tastes.
A young and promising officer who knows how to take care of himself, dresses well, is affectionate, delicate, romantic, yet not too frivolous, and loves culture and the arts.
Everything went smoothly.
Annette was a woman unlike him in every way. She was accustomed to being loved, and she was equally lovable. Heiner wished she were unlovable.
Everything went smoothly.
Sometimes, Heiner would suddenly find himself engrossed in the act of pretending to be her lover. When he broke up with her and returned home, it felt like waking from a sweet dream.
Everything went smoothly.
Every time Heiner met Annette, he discovered a new side of her. She was kind and gentle, yet at the same time, extremely aristocratic.
It wasn't so much her nature as it was the life she was given. No one attacked her, so she had no need to attack anyone.
That's why she could be good, and that's why she could be kind.
It was the task of his life to awaken her to the cruelty of the world, and it was the complete opposite of his life, where he had to kill to avoid dying.
Heiner simultaneously admired and hated everything she enjoyed, and he wanted to destroy it. The more frequently he met her, the more his longing and obsession grew.
Everything is going smoothly...
“Mr. Valdemar, what makes you think that?”
"...Ah."
Heiner, coming to his senses, let out a small gasp. Annette was staring at him, her eyes wide.
He didn't sleep well last night, so he was a little dazed. He ran his palm over his face and apologized.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy lately.”
"I heard you were busy. Why didn't you just rest? It's not even our usual day to meet..."
Heiner smiled brightly and answered calmly.
“Are there days when we meet and days when we don’t? I just see you when I want to.”
Annette stared blankly up at him for a moment, not responding. An awkward silence followed. Heiner watched her expression, wondering if he'd said something wrong.
“Mr. Valdemar.”
But the words that came out of Annette's mouth were a little different from what he had expected.
“Why don’t you confess to me?”
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