(1) I will never be loved again
Ariana agonized over and over again in the darkness, where not a single sliver of light entered.
What did I do wrong?
Where did I slip up?
I didn't want much. I never wanted anything excessive.
I just wanted to be loved.
My mother. My sisters. My husband and his family. And Harold Blenwit.
I didn't want deep love.
A little affection and recognition, that was all I needed. A smile when I did well, concern when I was sick—that's all
I wanted the kind that a normal person would receive as easily as breathing.
Was that too much to ask for?
Was it wrong for someone like me to wish for such things?
Ariana agonized over and over again in the darkness, where not a single sliver of light entered.
What did I do wrong?
Where did I slip up?
I didn't want much. I never wanted anything excessive.
I just wanted to be loved.
My mother. My sisters. My husband and his family. And Harold Blenwit.
I didn't want deep love.
A little affection and recognition, that was all I needed. A smile when I did well, concern when I was sick—that's all
I wanted the kind that a normal person would receive as easily as breathing.
Was that too much to ask for?
Was it wrong for someone like me to wish for such things?
It had been a year since Ariana had been locked in the deepest dungeon of Rosen Castle in the Cameria Empire's palace. None of the people she trusted and loved had come to visit her.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, if it were tomorrow, it would definitely be.
Those hopes had long since been dashed in vain.
The meager meals that had once arrived every other day suddenly became every few days.
More unbearable than the crushing hunger and thirst was the loneliness.
The great empire of Cameria was surrounded by four vassal states: East, West, South, and North.
Ariana was born among them, to Duke Russell, ruler of East, and Rachel, daughter of the Duke of West.
Rachel divorced the Eastern Duke immediately after giving birth to Ariana, fled back to the West, and remarried Duke Jacob Bronte.
Ariana vividly remembered her days at the Bronte mansion in West. Her mother, Rachel, always cheerful, her adoptive father, Jacob, her old-fashioned yet affectionate stepfather, her immature but cheerful older sister, Helena, her younger sister, Victoria, mature and refined beyond her years, and her youngest brother, Joyson.
Bronte Mansion was warm and peaceful, but Ariana had no place there.
Ariana also remembered her days at Viscount Alfrech's mansion.
Her husband, Ingo Alfrech, her mother-in-law, Laone, and her sister-in-law, Elise, who was the same age as her, were close, but even there, they didn't provide Ariana with a place.
Harold Blenwit, the Third Prince and now Emperor, was Ariana's only source of warmth. In Harold, she found the affection and trust that even her own family couldn't bestow.
"I like a clever woman like you."
"I prefer a useful woman like you, not a woman who sells bright smiles and relies on men."
"If I ascend to the throne, I will cherish you. My imperial family will become your greenhouse."
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, if it were tomorrow, it would definitely be.
Those hopes had long since been dashed in vain.
The meager meals that had once arrived every other day suddenly became every few days.
More unbearable than the crushing hunger and thirst was the loneliness.
The great empire of Cameria was surrounded by four vassal states: East, West, South, and North.
Ariana was born among them, to Duke Russell, ruler of East, and Rachel, daughter of the Duke of West.
Rachel divorced the Eastern Duke immediately after giving birth to Ariana, fled back to the West, and remarried Duke Jacob Bronte.
Ariana vividly remembered her days at the Bronte mansion in West. Her mother, Rachel, always cheerful, her adoptive father, Jacob, her old-fashioned yet affectionate stepfather, her immature but cheerful older sister, Helena, her younger sister, Victoria, mature and refined beyond her years, and her youngest brother, Joyson.
Bronte Mansion was warm and peaceful, but Ariana had no place there.
Ariana also remembered her days at Viscount Alfrech's mansion.
Her husband, Ingo Alfrech, her mother-in-law, Laone, and her sister-in-law, Elise, who was the same age as her, were close, but even there, they didn't provide Ariana with a place.
Harold Blenwit, the Third Prince and now Emperor, was Ariana's only source of warmth. In Harold, she found the affection and trust that even her own family couldn't bestow.
"I like a clever woman like you."
"I prefer a useful woman like you, not a woman who sells bright smiles and relies on men."
"If I ascend to the throne, I will cherish you. My imperial family will become your greenhouse."
She believed those words.
And so, until he ascended the throne, she acted as his secret sword.
She assisted in the defeat of the Eastern Lord, one of the wealthiest vassal states, and helped bring the reclusive Southern lord to the surface and behead him. She didn't hesitate when she helped defeat the Eastern Lord. For Ariana, the affectionate presence of someone close to her was more precious than a father she'd never spoken to.
She'd brought back information to check the Northern Feudal Lords, who had the full trust of the Emperor and Crown Prince, and had nearly died several times doing so. She'd been captured and tortured while working as a spy, but even that torture was palatable.
Being useful to someone was so important to her that even the harshest torture felt sweet.
Third Prince Harold was the most intelligent of the many princes, but as long as the Crown Prince enjoyed the Emperor's love and trust, the possibility of ascending to the throne was slim.
Yet, Ariana had walked through filth for Harold, creating that possibility. After killing the Crown Prince and the Emperor, Harold succeeded in assuming the throne.
The imperial family now belonged to Harold, but Ariana was denied even a narrow corner of the palace.
Ariana couldn't understand.
She was simply born. She simply lived.
Why, then, was the world so cruel to her?
"What did I do..."
Her voice, cracked and hoarse, didn't feel like her own.
"What more could I have done?"
Ariana covered her face with both hands.
Her skin felt bruised and cracked under her dry fingers. She hadn't eaten properly, so even the slightest touch caused her hair to fall out. The prolonged hunger and thirst had left her with no tears. The heavy iron door of the dungeon creaked open. The light footsteps were different from those of the guard who had brought her food. Even in this situation, a small hope sprouted. Was she finally able to leave this place?
Lowering her hand and raising her head, she saw a noblewoman standing outside the bars, holding a lamp.
She wasn't beautiful, but her happy smile made her seem radiant.
"Sister..."
"Not sister. Call me Duchess of Deccan."
Helena said with a singsong voice, smiling brightly.
"But you, you look awful. The hair you used to brag about has all fallen out. People will think you're a monster."
Even facing her sister's pitiful state, Helena seemed delighted.
Ariana crawled to her knees, grabbed the bars, and lifted her head. Her remaining light blue hair flowed down her rough cheeks and shoulders.
"Sister, when can I get out of here?"
Helena narrowed her eyes slightly and kicked Ariana.
"Didn't I say Duchess, not sister?"
Her starving body easily gave way to the noblewoman's kick.
Helena looked down at Ariana, who was rolling on the floor, and smiled coldly.
“Anyway, you’ll be able to leave soon.”
A smile returned to Ariana’s face.
However, the glimmer of hope that had long since surfaced was shattered by her next words.
“If dying is also leaving.”
“...dying?”
“Well, that’s right. Because of you, His Majesty the Emperor died. And His Highness the Crown Prince died as well.”
Ariana’s eyes wavered.
While Ariana had done whatever they asked out of a thirst for affection, she wasn’t foolish.
“Forces are questioning His Majesty the Emperor’s death. They’re going to make me a scapegoat.”
“A scapegoat? It was all your doing. You sneaked into His Majesty the Emperor’s bedroom and stabbed him in the heart, and you poisoned His Highness the Crown Prince's medicine, right?”
While it was true that she had provided them with the opportunity and information, Ariana hadn’t killed them herself.
But knowing this excuse wouldn't work, Ariana clutched at her last remaining straw.
"Harold... Has Your Majesty said anything?"
Helena smiled cruelly at Ariana's desperate gaze.
Helena looked as if she couldn't stand the joy of this moment.
"His Majesty is with Victoria... Oh, not Victoria anymore, but Her Majesty the Empress. Anyway, he's busy having fun with Her Majesty the Empress. He doesn't have time to think about the likes of you."
And so, until he ascended the throne, she acted as his secret sword.
She assisted in the defeat of the Eastern Lord, one of the wealthiest vassal states, and helped bring the reclusive Southern lord to the surface and behead him. She didn't hesitate when she helped defeat the Eastern Lord. For Ariana, the affectionate presence of someone close to her was more precious than a father she'd never spoken to.
She'd brought back information to check the Northern Feudal Lords, who had the full trust of the Emperor and Crown Prince, and had nearly died several times doing so. She'd been captured and tortured while working as a spy, but even that torture was palatable.
Being useful to someone was so important to her that even the harshest torture felt sweet.
Third Prince Harold was the most intelligent of the many princes, but as long as the Crown Prince enjoyed the Emperor's love and trust, the possibility of ascending to the throne was slim.
Yet, Ariana had walked through filth for Harold, creating that possibility. After killing the Crown Prince and the Emperor, Harold succeeded in assuming the throne.
The imperial family now belonged to Harold, but Ariana was denied even a narrow corner of the palace.
Ariana couldn't understand.
She was simply born. She simply lived.
Why, then, was the world so cruel to her?
"What did I do..."
Her voice, cracked and hoarse, didn't feel like her own.
"What more could I have done?"
Ariana covered her face with both hands.
Her skin felt bruised and cracked under her dry fingers. She hadn't eaten properly, so even the slightest touch caused her hair to fall out. The prolonged hunger and thirst had left her with no tears. The heavy iron door of the dungeon creaked open. The light footsteps were different from those of the guard who had brought her food. Even in this situation, a small hope sprouted. Was she finally able to leave this place?
Lowering her hand and raising her head, she saw a noblewoman standing outside the bars, holding a lamp.
She wasn't beautiful, but her happy smile made her seem radiant.
"Sister..."
"Not sister. Call me Duchess of Deccan."
Helena said with a singsong voice, smiling brightly.
"But you, you look awful. The hair you used to brag about has all fallen out. People will think you're a monster."
Even facing her sister's pitiful state, Helena seemed delighted.
Ariana crawled to her knees, grabbed the bars, and lifted her head. Her remaining light blue hair flowed down her rough cheeks and shoulders.
"Sister, when can I get out of here?"
Helena narrowed her eyes slightly and kicked Ariana.
"Didn't I say Duchess, not sister?"
Her starving body easily gave way to the noblewoman's kick.
Helena looked down at Ariana, who was rolling on the floor, and smiled coldly.
“Anyway, you’ll be able to leave soon.”
A smile returned to Ariana’s face.
However, the glimmer of hope that had long since surfaced was shattered by her next words.
“If dying is also leaving.”
“...dying?”
“Well, that’s right. Because of you, His Majesty the Emperor died. And His Highness the Crown Prince died as well.”
Ariana’s eyes wavered.
While Ariana had done whatever they asked out of a thirst for affection, she wasn’t foolish.
“Forces are questioning His Majesty the Emperor’s death. They’re going to make me a scapegoat.”
“A scapegoat? It was all your doing. You sneaked into His Majesty the Emperor’s bedroom and stabbed him in the heart, and you poisoned His Highness the Crown Prince's medicine, right?”
While it was true that she had provided them with the opportunity and information, Ariana hadn’t killed them herself.
But knowing this excuse wouldn't work, Ariana clutched at her last remaining straw.
"Harold... Has Your Majesty said anything?"
Helena smiled cruelly at Ariana's desperate gaze.
Helena looked as if she couldn't stand the joy of this moment.
"His Majesty is with Victoria... Oh, not Victoria anymore, but Her Majesty the Empress. Anyway, he's busy having fun with Her Majesty the Empress. He doesn't have time to think about the likes of you."
"Lies... Does His Majesty know I'm trapped like this?"
"Of course. His Majesty is the one who ordered you locked up here."
"Of course. His Majesty is the one who ordered you locked up here."
A crashing sound was heard. Ariana slowly raised her head and looked up at the ceiling. But there was nothing wrong with the ceiling, and Ariana knew that the sound was nothing more than the sound of her own sky collapsing. Ariana's sky, a sky no one cared about.
The more Ariana crumbled in despair, the brighter Helena's smile grew.
“Why on earth... why are you being so cruel to me? What did I do?”
“What did you do?”
Helena frowned for a moment, then bent down to meet Ariana’s gaze. The lamplight flickered within Helena’s pitch-black eyes.
“It was your fault for being born, Ariana.”
“...”
“My mother says that whenever she sees you, she thinks of the Eastern Duke and feels like vomiting. I feel the same way. Every time I see you, I feel so pitiful and sorry for my mother that I get nauseous. She had to enter into a marriage she didn’t want, and an unwanted pregnancy with that horrible Eastern Duke.”
Tears that she thought had dried flowed down Ariana’s cheeks.
“You shouldn’t have been born, Ariana. But since you are, you should at least be useful, right?”
Helena gestured, and the knights that had been hiding in the darkness came into view. Ariana hadn’t even realized Helena had brought them. Helena smiled sweetly at Ariana and said.
"Don't worry, Ariana. I won't make your death gruesome. You murdered His Highness the Crown Prince and His Majesty the Emperor, and then repented by taking your own life. Of course, you'll be criticized a little, but if His Majesty the Emperor demonstrates good governance, the criticism directed at you will lessen a little."
Ariana watched blankly as the iron gate opened and the knights poured in. She didn't protest even when they put the rope around her neck. She simply thought. It was wrong to want love. It was a mistake to want affection. It was a sin to trust. Because she wanted to live despite being unwanted, and because she wanted love on top of that, she was being punished like this.
The rough rope tightened around her neck, but Ariana didn't struggle. She simply resolved.
If given another chance, she vowed never to strive for love again. Never to trust anyone. She would simply live with the guilt of being born that way.
'That chance will never come, though.'
At the moment of death, Ariana laughed at her own vain hope.
Even with her skin cracked and her hair all fallen out, a smile spread across her beautiful face.
Helena was horrified, but that was fleeting.
Ariana's tiny body ceased moving, and her panting and moans of pain vanished.
April 20th, 222 Ratan, Ariana's birthday, a day no one remembered.
Ariana, the wife of Viscount Alfrech, a nobleman of the Western Territory, took her own life in a dark dungeon, reflecting on the sin of murdering the former Crown Prince and the former Emperor.
September, Year 222 Ratan.
Northern Duke Cyrus Carha declared the independence of the Northern Territory and proclaimed himself Emperor, marking the beginning of the Arcana Empire and simultaneously raising an army against the Cameria Empire.
April 20th, Year 224 of Ratan.
The Cameria Empire, which had collapsed from the East to the West, fell. Emperor Herald and Empress Victoria were hanged on the walls of the Cameria Palace.
The charges were the murder of the former Emperor and Crown Prince, and this occurred exactly two years after Ariana's death.
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