108. The Name of Love and the Abyss
Erna put the last piece of jewelry she had taken off back on her hat.
It was funny to see her all adorned, so she took off all the decorations, but when she saw that there was nothing left, it was still a sight to behold.
“Just rest here. Do you really have to go there?”
Lisa hovered around Erna with a worried expression on her face.
“I’ve been resting too much lately.”
Erna finished her preparations by putting on her hat, which had only a single small flower left.
The attending doctor who had visited her yesterday said it would be okay to enjoy a moderate walk now. Erna immediately sent someone to the summer palace where the royal family resided. Deep inside, she felt guilty for causing such trouble and not even offering a proper apology. So, she wanted to relieve that burden first and foremost.
“Your Highness, what about these flowers?”
Lisa's eyes widened as she noticed the pile of corsages on the table.
Erna gazed down at the flowers she'd made, overcome by a strange feeling. They were beautiful, never-withering flowers, but even such artificial flowers would wear out and fade with age. But could a person live their entire life as a harmless, beautiful flower?
Erna straightened her hat, erasing answers she already knew. She put on gloves and grabbed her parasol. Lisa, glancing at her, silently arranged the remaining artificial flowers. They were all flowers Erna cherished.
The carriage waiting in front of the central entrance, carrying the Grand Duchess, raced toward the Summer Palace. Though within the walls of Schwerin Palace, its seafront location offered a distinctly different atmosphere from the Grand Duke's residence. As the carriage door opened, the cries of seagulls and the gentle sound of waves drifted in, accompanied by the rich scent of roses.
“Your Highness, over there...”
Lisa, who had gotten out of the carriage first, looked embarrassed and pointed down the path they had taken. A magnificent carriage had just pulled into the end of the road.
It was the Duke Heine family who came to visit without notice.
The tea table for the three was set at the end of the garden, overlooking the sea. It was the very spot where the young lady of the Hardy family and the Queen had their first meeting last summer.
Erna looked down from the pergola covered in blooming roses to find Isabelle Dneister, who was smiling as kindly as she had that day. As grateful as she was for the Queen's unwavering love for her, her guilt deepened. The sight of Princess Louise beside her, glaring disapprovingly, brought relief.
“Because of me, everyone...”
“Erna.”
Isabelle Dneister interrupted Erna's repeated apologies by calling her name.
"Just forget about it. I know it wasn't your fault. You were the one who had the hardest time, so you have absolutely no need to apologize to us. Isn't that right, Louise?"
Louise met her mother's gaze as if forcing an answer, and let out a sigh of deep disillusionment.
"Well, isn't it you, my brother, who's had the hardest time? He's the one who's handled all this on behalf of his wife."
“Louise.”
"Of course, I know the Grand Duchess wasn't at ease. But at least for her, it was a matter of her family. Oh, now that you've broken off the relationship, that's no longer the case. I'm sorry. I briefly forgot about that."
Even when she nodded slightly, Louise's gaze at Erna remained consistently cynical.
"Anyway, congratulations on getting things sorted out. Oh, and I know it's a little late, but I'm also happy you're pregnant."
“Ah... thank you.”
Erna covered her stomach with a faint smile.
“I heard you had severe morning sickness. Are you feeling better today?”
“Yes. I’m feeling better these days.”
"That child must be really kind. When things get tough, he uses morning sickness to shield her, and when that's over, he brings comfort to his mother."
Louise's tone was bright and cheerful, mixed with exaggerated exclamation.
"It's reassuring to see that the Grand Duchess seems healthier than she appears. I suffered from prolonged morning sickness for quite some time. Gladys was the same."
"Louise. If you intend to continue to be so rude to my guests, then go back now."
As expected, this time, Isabelle Dneister openly defended the Grand Duchess. Now, it was neither surprising nor insulting.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean it that way, but I was talking about pregnancy, and I just unconsciously stopped. I'll be careful."
Louise skillfully avoided the accusation, glancing at Erna. Her trembling, almost sinister demeanor was so natural. Had she not known that she was a shameless and vicious woman who had severed ties with her father to maintain her position, she might have been fooled.
When Louise finally fell silent, the Queen took control of the conversation. They quietly exchanged simple, affectionate remarks about Erna's health and her anticipation for the baby. As the mood grew more relaxed, a maid brought out a large platter of fruit and placed it before Erna.
“Mrs. Fitz said that the baby in your stomach likes fruit.”
The Queen smiled affectionately at the surprised Erna.
"Your health and that of the child are paramount, so just think about that, Erna. That's all that matters."
"Thank you."
Erna greeted them with a dazed expression. A large plate was filled with colorful fruits, each shaped like a jewel.
"I'll send it to the Grand Duke's residence, too. There's plenty of fruit there, but this is a gift from Grandmother, so please accept it. Don't give it to Bjorn, and keep it for yourself and the child."
At her added joke, Erna smiled for the first time since she'd sat down. "Gift." The word was as sweet as the scent of fresh fruit lingering in her nostrils.
“Why? Don’t you have an appetite?”
“Oh, no. That’s not it.”
Erna, who had been hesitating, picked up the fork only after the Queen urged her.
Erna slowly ate the gift given to her, one bite at a time. For a moment, she hesitated, wary of what others might think, but at some point, the fruit was so delicious that she forgot all other thoughts. Gluttony, in this situation? She couldn't understand herself at all, but she couldn't stop her hands from reaching for her plate. It was only the tip of her fork that finally came to her, just as the last peach slice was about to touch it.
Suddenly, feeling a stinging gaze, she raised her head and saw Louise. Their eyes met, but the Princess didn't panic.
“Eat the rest.”
When Erna hesitated, Louise shook her head slightly.
“It’s nice to see you eating well.”
Louise's smiling face bore a striking resemblance to the Queen's. The emotion in her gaze, so different from the Queen's, seemed even more vivid.
Contempt. And a little pity.
Erna held her breath, unable to bite the fork or even pick up the peach. The Queen, blissfully watching her grandson and other relatives playing in the water at the beach, didn't notice the awkward silence.
“Come on in.”
A gentler smile appeared on Louise's face as she stared intently at Erna. Erna awkwardly smiled back and finally put a piece of the peach in her mouth.
Louise let out a silent sigh and turned her gaze to the beach where her children were playing. The children's excited laughter carried on the sea breeze.
“Oh, man. She ended up falling.”
The Queen let out a low laugh as she saw her granddaughter running along the sandy beach and falling down, but still smiling.
"That kid looks just like her dad. She's so witty."
A smile that was perfectly reminiscent of her mother soon appeared on Louise's face.
Erna, who was watching the two chatting away, suddenly felt a little embarrassed and lonely and lowered her gaze. Her peach-filled mouth filled with saliva.
It's okay.
Erna gently stroked her stomach, as if trying to console herself. The child's presence there was still minimal, but it was still a great comfort.
Erna slowly chewed and swallowed the peach that the child liked.
It was sweet and delicious.
“Her Highness is in the summer palace.”
As the carriage door opened, Mrs. Fitz gave her prepared answer.
Erna. Swallowing the words he'd habitually been tempted to blurt out, Bjorn nodded slightly. The sound of footsteps passing through the entrance hall was followed by the quiet presence of servants.
Bjorn, striding briskly up the stairs, paused on the landing, shadowed by the large palm leaves. Sunlight streaming through the large windows and the light from the chandelier poured down overhead.
It was too bright. It was too hot.
And above all, it was excessively... quiet.
Bjorn looked through narrowed eyes at the mansion, which was like an underwater world where all sound had disappeared.
This was the original order. The very peaceful life he had sought to preserve by placing her in the position of wife. Erna was finally fulfilling her full potential. Quietly, harmlessly, and beautifully. Just as he had hoped.
Having reached a clear conclusion, Bjorn climbed the remaining stairs and headed to the study. Mrs. Fitz accompanied him there, reporting on important matters of the household.
“It is time for her to return now.”
Mrs. Fitz, seeing Bjorn check his watch, once again answered the unasked question. Meanwhile, a silver tray containing the mail she had brought sat on the desk.
Bjorn began opening the mail one by one with the paper knife he'd been given. He hadn't had much to look through, having already announced that he wouldn't be attending any social gatherings this summer.
“I hope you are having a wonderful time. Her Majesty the Queen is very fond of the Grand Duchess.”
While Bjorn, having put down the last letter, lit a cigar, Mrs. Fitz again gave an unanswered answer.
"Today, Her Highness's physical condition was also very good. The attending doctor who examined her confirmed that the child was growing well."
“Since when have you been using poison?”
Bjorn exhaled a puff of cigar smoke with a sigh and a smile. A faint smile played on Mrs. Fitz's face as she shrugged slightly.
“Growing up...”
With each exhalation of the smoke he had inhaled deeply, Bjorn's eyes gradually became more complex.
“Mrs. Fitz.”
“Yes, Your Highness. Please speak.”
“What if he grows up?”
Bjorn faced Madame Fitz, feeling a little lost. Their eyes met through the slowly dispersing smoke.
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean, the baby. The baby is growing inside her.”
As the attending doctor had predicted, another week later, signs of a baby began to appear in Erna's stomach. This morning, while standing on the balcony, watching Erna bask in the breeze, Bjorn suddenly realized this.
The thin dress clung tightly to her body, revealing a bodyline subtly different from the one Bjorn had come to know and enjoy. It was the first time he realized that a child was growing inside that small woman. Feeling the gaze, Erna turned and quickly untied her shawl, though it didn't last long.
“My wife is small, but I am big. If he grows up to be like me, he will.”
Bjorn, stroking the cigar between his fingers, muttered softly, as if to himself. A smile crept across Mrs. Fitz's lips as she understood the meaning of his words.
"Babies are born small, Prince. You two, as twins, were much smaller than other babies. It's hard to imagine that after seeing you two now."
“I see.”
Bjorn suddenly found himself babbling nonsense and let out a dry laugh.
Just as Bjorn was rising from his desk, the sound of urgent footsteps and shouts shattered the tranquility of the Grand Duke's residence. The door, flung open without a knock, was surprisingly a thoughtful Leonid.
While Bjorn frowned, Leonid practically ran to the desk. He then placed a book he had been clutching tightly in front of Bjorn.
'The name of love and the abyss.'
Bjorn's eyebrows furrowed as he glanced at the title, which seemed too tacky for a book Leonid was reading. He was just about to ask the next question when he noticed the author's name written beneath it.
Gerald Owen.
He was the man who was the admired genius poet and Gladys' lover.
Erna put the last piece of jewelry she had taken off back on her hat.
It was funny to see her all adorned, so she took off all the decorations, but when she saw that there was nothing left, it was still a sight to behold.
“Just rest here. Do you really have to go there?”
Lisa hovered around Erna with a worried expression on her face.
“I’ve been resting too much lately.”
Erna finished her preparations by putting on her hat, which had only a single small flower left.
The attending doctor who had visited her yesterday said it would be okay to enjoy a moderate walk now. Erna immediately sent someone to the summer palace where the royal family resided. Deep inside, she felt guilty for causing such trouble and not even offering a proper apology. So, she wanted to relieve that burden first and foremost.
“Your Highness, what about these flowers?”
Lisa's eyes widened as she noticed the pile of corsages on the table.
Erna gazed down at the flowers she'd made, overcome by a strange feeling. They were beautiful, never-withering flowers, but even such artificial flowers would wear out and fade with age. But could a person live their entire life as a harmless, beautiful flower?
Erna straightened her hat, erasing answers she already knew. She put on gloves and grabbed her parasol. Lisa, glancing at her, silently arranged the remaining artificial flowers. They were all flowers Erna cherished.
The carriage waiting in front of the central entrance, carrying the Grand Duchess, raced toward the Summer Palace. Though within the walls of Schwerin Palace, its seafront location offered a distinctly different atmosphere from the Grand Duke's residence. As the carriage door opened, the cries of seagulls and the gentle sound of waves drifted in, accompanied by the rich scent of roses.
“Your Highness, over there...”
Lisa, who had gotten out of the carriage first, looked embarrassed and pointed down the path they had taken. A magnificent carriage had just pulled into the end of the road.
It was the Duke Heine family who came to visit without notice.
***
The tea table for the three was set at the end of the garden, overlooking the sea. It was the very spot where the young lady of the Hardy family and the Queen had their first meeting last summer.
Erna looked down from the pergola covered in blooming roses to find Isabelle Dneister, who was smiling as kindly as she had that day. As grateful as she was for the Queen's unwavering love for her, her guilt deepened. The sight of Princess Louise beside her, glaring disapprovingly, brought relief.
“Because of me, everyone...”
“Erna.”
Isabelle Dneister interrupted Erna's repeated apologies by calling her name.
"Just forget about it. I know it wasn't your fault. You were the one who had the hardest time, so you have absolutely no need to apologize to us. Isn't that right, Louise?"
Louise met her mother's gaze as if forcing an answer, and let out a sigh of deep disillusionment.
"Well, isn't it you, my brother, who's had the hardest time? He's the one who's handled all this on behalf of his wife."
“Louise.”
"Of course, I know the Grand Duchess wasn't at ease. But at least for her, it was a matter of her family. Oh, now that you've broken off the relationship, that's no longer the case. I'm sorry. I briefly forgot about that."
Even when she nodded slightly, Louise's gaze at Erna remained consistently cynical.
"Anyway, congratulations on getting things sorted out. Oh, and I know it's a little late, but I'm also happy you're pregnant."
“Ah... thank you.”
Erna covered her stomach with a faint smile.
“I heard you had severe morning sickness. Are you feeling better today?”
“Yes. I’m feeling better these days.”
"That child must be really kind. When things get tough, he uses morning sickness to shield her, and when that's over, he brings comfort to his mother."
Louise's tone was bright and cheerful, mixed with exaggerated exclamation.
"It's reassuring to see that the Grand Duchess seems healthier than she appears. I suffered from prolonged morning sickness for quite some time. Gladys was the same."
"Louise. If you intend to continue to be so rude to my guests, then go back now."
As expected, this time, Isabelle Dneister openly defended the Grand Duchess. Now, it was neither surprising nor insulting.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean it that way, but I was talking about pregnancy, and I just unconsciously stopped. I'll be careful."
Louise skillfully avoided the accusation, glancing at Erna. Her trembling, almost sinister demeanor was so natural. Had she not known that she was a shameless and vicious woman who had severed ties with her father to maintain her position, she might have been fooled.
When Louise finally fell silent, the Queen took control of the conversation. They quietly exchanged simple, affectionate remarks about Erna's health and her anticipation for the baby. As the mood grew more relaxed, a maid brought out a large platter of fruit and placed it before Erna.
“Mrs. Fitz said that the baby in your stomach likes fruit.”
The Queen smiled affectionately at the surprised Erna.
"Your health and that of the child are paramount, so just think about that, Erna. That's all that matters."
"Thank you."
Erna greeted them with a dazed expression. A large plate was filled with colorful fruits, each shaped like a jewel.
"I'll send it to the Grand Duke's residence, too. There's plenty of fruit there, but this is a gift from Grandmother, so please accept it. Don't give it to Bjorn, and keep it for yourself and the child."
At her added joke, Erna smiled for the first time since she'd sat down. "Gift." The word was as sweet as the scent of fresh fruit lingering in her nostrils.
“Why? Don’t you have an appetite?”
“Oh, no. That’s not it.”
Erna, who had been hesitating, picked up the fork only after the Queen urged her.
Erna slowly ate the gift given to her, one bite at a time. For a moment, she hesitated, wary of what others might think, but at some point, the fruit was so delicious that she forgot all other thoughts. Gluttony, in this situation? She couldn't understand herself at all, but she couldn't stop her hands from reaching for her plate. It was only the tip of her fork that finally came to her, just as the last peach slice was about to touch it.
Suddenly, feeling a stinging gaze, she raised her head and saw Louise. Their eyes met, but the Princess didn't panic.
“Eat the rest.”
When Erna hesitated, Louise shook her head slightly.
“It’s nice to see you eating well.”
Louise's smiling face bore a striking resemblance to the Queen's. The emotion in her gaze, so different from the Queen's, seemed even more vivid.
Contempt. And a little pity.
Erna held her breath, unable to bite the fork or even pick up the peach. The Queen, blissfully watching her grandson and other relatives playing in the water at the beach, didn't notice the awkward silence.
“Come on in.”
A gentler smile appeared on Louise's face as she stared intently at Erna. Erna awkwardly smiled back and finally put a piece of the peach in her mouth.
Louise let out a silent sigh and turned her gaze to the beach where her children were playing. The children's excited laughter carried on the sea breeze.
“Oh, man. She ended up falling.”
The Queen let out a low laugh as she saw her granddaughter running along the sandy beach and falling down, but still smiling.
"That kid looks just like her dad. She's so witty."
A smile that was perfectly reminiscent of her mother soon appeared on Louise's face.
Erna, who was watching the two chatting away, suddenly felt a little embarrassed and lonely and lowered her gaze. Her peach-filled mouth filled with saliva.
It's okay.
Erna gently stroked her stomach, as if trying to console herself. The child's presence there was still minimal, but it was still a great comfort.
Erna slowly chewed and swallowed the peach that the child liked.
It was sweet and delicious.
***
“Her Highness is in the summer palace.”
As the carriage door opened, Mrs. Fitz gave her prepared answer.
Erna. Swallowing the words he'd habitually been tempted to blurt out, Bjorn nodded slightly. The sound of footsteps passing through the entrance hall was followed by the quiet presence of servants.
Bjorn, striding briskly up the stairs, paused on the landing, shadowed by the large palm leaves. Sunlight streaming through the large windows and the light from the chandelier poured down overhead.
It was too bright. It was too hot.
And above all, it was excessively... quiet.
Bjorn looked through narrowed eyes at the mansion, which was like an underwater world where all sound had disappeared.
This was the original order. The very peaceful life he had sought to preserve by placing her in the position of wife. Erna was finally fulfilling her full potential. Quietly, harmlessly, and beautifully. Just as he had hoped.
Having reached a clear conclusion, Bjorn climbed the remaining stairs and headed to the study. Mrs. Fitz accompanied him there, reporting on important matters of the household.
“It is time for her to return now.”
Mrs. Fitz, seeing Bjorn check his watch, once again answered the unasked question. Meanwhile, a silver tray containing the mail she had brought sat on the desk.
Bjorn began opening the mail one by one with the paper knife he'd been given. He hadn't had much to look through, having already announced that he wouldn't be attending any social gatherings this summer.
“I hope you are having a wonderful time. Her Majesty the Queen is very fond of the Grand Duchess.”
While Bjorn, having put down the last letter, lit a cigar, Mrs. Fitz again gave an unanswered answer.
"Today, Her Highness's physical condition was also very good. The attending doctor who examined her confirmed that the child was growing well."
“Since when have you been using poison?”
Bjorn exhaled a puff of cigar smoke with a sigh and a smile. A faint smile played on Mrs. Fitz's face as she shrugged slightly.
“Growing up...”
With each exhalation of the smoke he had inhaled deeply, Bjorn's eyes gradually became more complex.
“Mrs. Fitz.”
“Yes, Your Highness. Please speak.”
“What if he grows up?”
Bjorn faced Madame Fitz, feeling a little lost. Their eyes met through the slowly dispersing smoke.
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean, the baby. The baby is growing inside her.”
As the attending doctor had predicted, another week later, signs of a baby began to appear in Erna's stomach. This morning, while standing on the balcony, watching Erna bask in the breeze, Bjorn suddenly realized this.
The thin dress clung tightly to her body, revealing a bodyline subtly different from the one Bjorn had come to know and enjoy. It was the first time he realized that a child was growing inside that small woman. Feeling the gaze, Erna turned and quickly untied her shawl, though it didn't last long.
“My wife is small, but I am big. If he grows up to be like me, he will.”
Bjorn, stroking the cigar between his fingers, muttered softly, as if to himself. A smile crept across Mrs. Fitz's lips as she understood the meaning of his words.
"Babies are born small, Prince. You two, as twins, were much smaller than other babies. It's hard to imagine that after seeing you two now."
“I see.”
Bjorn suddenly found himself babbling nonsense and let out a dry laugh.
Just as Bjorn was rising from his desk, the sound of urgent footsteps and shouts shattered the tranquility of the Grand Duke's residence. The door, flung open without a knock, was surprisingly a thoughtful Leonid.
While Bjorn frowned, Leonid practically ran to the desk. He then placed a book he had been clutching tightly in front of Bjorn.
'The name of love and the abyss.'
Bjorn's eyebrows furrowed as he glanced at the title, which seemed too tacky for a book Leonid was reading. He was just about to ask the next question when he noticed the author's name written beneath it.
Gerald Owen.
He was the man who was the admired genius poet and Gladys' lover.
I'm so mad how he's treating her I wish he could get a taste of the same medicine. I've been in her shoes when the husband is not emotionally there and treats u like an object and ur pain not standing up and clearing the misunderstanding bt atleast he loves her which he yet has to realise. She deserves so much more
ReplyDeleteHe understands that he can clear her insecurities and love her instead thinks that with time she'll come around bt gone through that myself.... Its v cruel yet realistic ppl r like that they take ur love for granted and this eats a woman inside
ReplyDelete