Ayla took the train to meet Mastiff. Sitting in the cramped seat, she took buttons and a sewing kit from her bag and sewed eyes onto a stuffed animal. She soon became dizzy and stopped.
She gazed out the window at the fields, flower-covered hills, and lush greenery that quickly passed by, then rested her chin on the windowsill with her elbow. Ayla, who had been dozing off, quickly woke up when she realized the train had stopped at Hex City. After disembarking, she went to the small bakery in front of the station and bought a cheap loaf of bread for a penny each.
She boarded the stagecoach and began gorging on the bread and milk she'd brought. With her meager salary, even food was tight, so she never got a full meal. Despite filling her stomach, she felt nauseous. She'd fallen into a light sleep leaning against the carriage seat, but when she heard they'd arrived at the forest mansion, she awoke and got out of the carriage.
Entering the mansion, backed by a verdant forest, the fragrant aroma of tea wafted through the air, as if it were still brewing. Nevertheless, the stench of blood seeping from every corner of the interior made her feel sick.
This place was always empty except for Mastiff. Every nook and cranny seemed to have been touched by hands for a long time, and it always felt empty. He was always alone here. He wasn't as scary as the Princess had scared her. In fact, he was more well-mannered and gentlemanly than the men she's encountered so far.
Although she came to see him once a week, Ayla didn't ask much about Mastiff. She only knew that he was a high-ranking member of the Frogen Empire, a soldier of the rank of Major.
As she stood inside the foyer, Mastiff with naturally flowing, dark blond hair and a sharp suit descended. He escorted her, still smiling, and asked,
“Is the Princess still bothering you? You seem to be getting thinner.”
“No, thanks to you, I won’t be bothered.”
"Thank goodness. Come on, have a seat. I enjoyed the cookies you brought me last time."
Ayla, sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea in her hand, hesitated for a while before finally speaking.
“Excuse me, Major. I have a question for you.”
“What? I told you I wanted you to call me by my name.”
“Yes, yes. Mastiff. That is....”
She kept opening and closing her mouth, then, as if she had made up her mind, put down her teacup and looked straight at him with her clear, sky-blue eyes.
"I'd like to ask you what you think of me. You've been so kind to me and protected me."
Mastiff would hand her a pile of money and even jewelry. Except for the necklace he'd put around her neck, she was too scared to wear it, so she kept it. It was a small act of courage, but her face flushed with embarrassment. Mastiff, resting his chin on his elbows, gave her a mischievous grin.
“What do you think of me?”
“I think... You are a kind person.”
Finally, Ayla, her ears flushed bright red, wiggled her fingers and managed to answer. Mastiff sitting opposite her touched his eye, tilted his head, and let out a low laugh. The corners of his mouth were taut and turned upward beneath his hand.
“Affectionate?”
“I’m sorry if I went off topic..."
“Is there a reason you suddenly ask this?”
The turquoise eyes, visible through his concealed fingers, stared intently at Ayla. After a long pause, she finally told the truth.
“I have a child.”
Her words were also clear. Mastiff listened silently, his face now devoid of any trace of a smile. Ayla, seeing his eyes sharpen, added urgently.
"Don't worry about it leaking out. I'm not asking for anything in return. I just felt it was necessary to let you know. I don't expect any responsibility either. It's my responsibility to handle this."
"Problem?"
Mastiff tilted his head and looked down, as if lost in thought for a moment. He looked into her eyes again.
“I never raised an issue, so why is it a problem?”
Ayla had assumed he would reject the child out of concern for his future. She'd come here prepared to hear questions ranging from whether the child was truly his to whether she should be destroyed. She answered with a nervous expression.
“I don’t know what it means.”
Mastiff rose from his seat, approached her, and bent down to meet her gaze. His face was filled with immense satisfaction. As if he had been waiting.
“I am very happy.”
“You’re happy? That’s...”
She was so flustered by his words and actions that were completely unexpected. His fingers gently stroked Ayla's shoulder.
“I’ve been waiting. Isn’t it you?”
Ayla's large eyes were filled with tears. She asked again, her voice hushed with emotion and sorrow.
“Are you saying I can give birth?”
"What have you heard so far? If you didn't like it, you would have killed it right now."
“Oh, I thought you were going to tell me to get rid of it...”
Mastiff hugged Ayla, who trailed off, and patted her back. A faint woody scent, mixed with the scent of cigars, tickled her nose. She loved the scent of being held by him, but now, especially, she felt as if all the sorrow and sadness she had endured throughout her life were melting away like snow.
“Please take good care of your child from now on. He is important to you.”
“Yes, I understand.”
Mastiff whispered softly in her ear, her nose red and sniffling.
“It’s finally useful, Miss Ayla.”
Useful? Her tearful eyes stared at him quizzically. He sat at his desk, writing something, then handed her a document and a letter.
"You must be tired, so go back and rest. Take this to the Princess, and present it upon entering the Federal Republic of Kappel. With this certificate, you will be able to settle there."
“Kappel? What is this... Are you telling me to go far away?”
"It's true. That child has given you enough wealth and safety to live off of for the rest of your life. No one would dare kill you."
Ayla's lips trembled, her eyes wide. "This is strange, this is strange. I can't understand everything he says, but it makes me so sad."
"Safety..."
Suddenly realizing the meaning of the "safety device" he'd spoken of in the past, she clamped her mouth shut, refusing to let out a scream. Mastiff continued to utter words of despair in a gentle voice.
"I'll accept a fair price, even from the Princess. I'll accomplish what I set out to do. What other deal is more reasonable?"
“It was a deal?”
It was just a transaction from the beginning. Ayla stared at him in disbelief, her body reeling from shock. Mastiff was a beautiful demon who had offered a deal with sweet words.
"If you become useful, you won't die. And in return, you'll be given enough money to live off for the rest of your life, and you can leave for safety. Isn't this the salvation you've been hoping for?"
The tone was still gentle and affectionate. Mastiff, out of habit, pulled out a cigar and then put it back in his bosom. That tenderness, instead, turned into a cruel dagger, tearing Ayla's heart to shreds. She stood there, as if all time had died instantly, like an old tombstone. Despite being betrayed so often, she hadn't grown accustomed to it, and this time was especially difficult to bear.
"That man was the same person," Ayla asked with an empty heart.
“So that’s how you see me, Mastiff.”
"What are you looking at me like that? I don't understand. You have too many expressions."
Mastiff placed a hand on Ayla's pale cheek, his eyes filled with wonder. She longed to hold that warm hand. Ayla, overcome with sorrow, burst into tears, pouring out her true feelings.
"Actually, I didn't ask for much. It didn't matter if you were a bad person or a murderer, I just wanted to know that I was precious..."
Ah, this was too much for me.
Ayla, unable to tell the whole story, kept her mouth shut and, startled, bowed and apologized to Mastiff as she always did to people of high social standing.
"I dared to make a slip of the tongue. Please forgive my rudeness. I'm truly grateful that you thought of me..."
Thank you? I'm so sad and hopeless.
Ayla forced a smile, bowed low, and took in the cruel reality strewn across the floor. The sleek tips of his shoes were a blur. Looking down at her worn-out shoes, the soles worn, a wave of misery washed over her. Tears fell, dripping down, soaking the tips of her shabby shoes.
Finally, unable to bear it any longer, she jumped up and fled the mansion. Mastiff's gaze lingered on the spot where she had stood. More precisely, it was observing the raindrops falling, forming circles on the ground.
Mastiff picked up the stuffed animal Ayla had dropped on the sofa as she fled. It was shaped like her favorite cat, but it was missing an eye, perhaps because it was poorly made. Her words suddenly came to mind.
"What kind of salvation do I desire? I want to live like a human being, but I also wish I had just one person who was kind to me."
“It’s not enough.”
Mastiff, who had been mumbling softly, threw the doll away with an indifferent expression.
Leaving the mansion and walking along the forest path for a while, Ayla hugged herself, trying to suppress the sorrow and chills of despair that were seeping through her. A starling perched on a walnut tree sang sadly. She wept, overcome by the profound loneliness and isolation.
A halo of light filtered through the lush foliage, illuminating the ground. No matter how bright the daylight was, she could only see the shadows of the light falling on the ground, unable to raise her head.
"It's your choice, so do it well. Even if you die, you'll have less resentment."
'Nature never changes.'
Ayla recalled Count Rotsilt's raw, direct words. Ah, that was advice.
"It's my choice. No one can help me, no one can solve it for me. I have to do it myself..."
What should I do now?
Overwhelmed by the endless despair, she lowered her head and stared at the floor. As she walked aimlessly, staring at the tips of her worn-out shoes, Ayla stood at a fork in the forest path, glaring up at a rusty sign creaking and swaying in the wind.
She arrived at this place by chance. It was a signpost leading to two unfamiliar villages. Ayla looked at the village names written on the signs lined up on either side, and smiled as if she had made up her mind.
"If it's a girl, I'll name it Lilith, and if it's a boy, I'll name it Michael. I've just found my one and only friend."
She gazed out the window at the fields, flower-covered hills, and lush greenery that quickly passed by, then rested her chin on the windowsill with her elbow. Ayla, who had been dozing off, quickly woke up when she realized the train had stopped at Hex City. After disembarking, she went to the small bakery in front of the station and bought a cheap loaf of bread for a penny each.
She boarded the stagecoach and began gorging on the bread and milk she'd brought. With her meager salary, even food was tight, so she never got a full meal. Despite filling her stomach, she felt nauseous. She'd fallen into a light sleep leaning against the carriage seat, but when she heard they'd arrived at the forest mansion, she awoke and got out of the carriage.
Entering the mansion, backed by a verdant forest, the fragrant aroma of tea wafted through the air, as if it were still brewing. Nevertheless, the stench of blood seeping from every corner of the interior made her feel sick.
This place was always empty except for Mastiff. Every nook and cranny seemed to have been touched by hands for a long time, and it always felt empty. He was always alone here. He wasn't as scary as the Princess had scared her. In fact, he was more well-mannered and gentlemanly than the men she's encountered so far.
Although she came to see him once a week, Ayla didn't ask much about Mastiff. She only knew that he was a high-ranking member of the Frogen Empire, a soldier of the rank of Major.
As she stood inside the foyer, Mastiff with naturally flowing, dark blond hair and a sharp suit descended. He escorted her, still smiling, and asked,
“Is the Princess still bothering you? You seem to be getting thinner.”
“No, thanks to you, I won’t be bothered.”
"Thank goodness. Come on, have a seat. I enjoyed the cookies you brought me last time."
Ayla, sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea in her hand, hesitated for a while before finally speaking.
“Excuse me, Major. I have a question for you.”
“What? I told you I wanted you to call me by my name.”
“Yes, yes. Mastiff. That is....”
She kept opening and closing her mouth, then, as if she had made up her mind, put down her teacup and looked straight at him with her clear, sky-blue eyes.
"I'd like to ask you what you think of me. You've been so kind to me and protected me."
Mastiff would hand her a pile of money and even jewelry. Except for the necklace he'd put around her neck, she was too scared to wear it, so she kept it. It was a small act of courage, but her face flushed with embarrassment. Mastiff, resting his chin on his elbows, gave her a mischievous grin.
“What do you think of me?”
“I think... You are a kind person.”
Finally, Ayla, her ears flushed bright red, wiggled her fingers and managed to answer. Mastiff sitting opposite her touched his eye, tilted his head, and let out a low laugh. The corners of his mouth were taut and turned upward beneath his hand.
“Affectionate?”
“I’m sorry if I went off topic..."
“Is there a reason you suddenly ask this?”
The turquoise eyes, visible through his concealed fingers, stared intently at Ayla. After a long pause, she finally told the truth.
“I have a child.”
Her words were also clear. Mastiff listened silently, his face now devoid of any trace of a smile. Ayla, seeing his eyes sharpen, added urgently.
"Don't worry about it leaking out. I'm not asking for anything in return. I just felt it was necessary to let you know. I don't expect any responsibility either. It's my responsibility to handle this."
"Problem?"
Mastiff tilted his head and looked down, as if lost in thought for a moment. He looked into her eyes again.
“I never raised an issue, so why is it a problem?”
Ayla had assumed he would reject the child out of concern for his future. She'd come here prepared to hear questions ranging from whether the child was truly his to whether she should be destroyed. She answered with a nervous expression.
“I don’t know what it means.”
Mastiff rose from his seat, approached her, and bent down to meet her gaze. His face was filled with immense satisfaction. As if he had been waiting.
“I am very happy.”
“You’re happy? That’s...”
She was so flustered by his words and actions that were completely unexpected. His fingers gently stroked Ayla's shoulder.
“I’ve been waiting. Isn’t it you?”
Ayla's large eyes were filled with tears. She asked again, her voice hushed with emotion and sorrow.
“Are you saying I can give birth?”
"What have you heard so far? If you didn't like it, you would have killed it right now."
“Oh, I thought you were going to tell me to get rid of it...”
Mastiff hugged Ayla, who trailed off, and patted her back. A faint woody scent, mixed with the scent of cigars, tickled her nose. She loved the scent of being held by him, but now, especially, she felt as if all the sorrow and sadness she had endured throughout her life were melting away like snow.
“Please take good care of your child from now on. He is important to you.”
“Yes, I understand.”
Mastiff whispered softly in her ear, her nose red and sniffling.
“It’s finally useful, Miss Ayla.”
Useful? Her tearful eyes stared at him quizzically. He sat at his desk, writing something, then handed her a document and a letter.
"You must be tired, so go back and rest. Take this to the Princess, and present it upon entering the Federal Republic of Kappel. With this certificate, you will be able to settle there."
“Kappel? What is this... Are you telling me to go far away?”
"It's true. That child has given you enough wealth and safety to live off of for the rest of your life. No one would dare kill you."
Ayla's lips trembled, her eyes wide. "This is strange, this is strange. I can't understand everything he says, but it makes me so sad."
"Safety..."
Suddenly realizing the meaning of the "safety device" he'd spoken of in the past, she clamped her mouth shut, refusing to let out a scream. Mastiff continued to utter words of despair in a gentle voice.
"I'll accept a fair price, even from the Princess. I'll accomplish what I set out to do. What other deal is more reasonable?"
“It was a deal?”
It was just a transaction from the beginning. Ayla stared at him in disbelief, her body reeling from shock. Mastiff was a beautiful demon who had offered a deal with sweet words.
"If you become useful, you won't die. And in return, you'll be given enough money to live off for the rest of your life, and you can leave for safety. Isn't this the salvation you've been hoping for?"
The tone was still gentle and affectionate. Mastiff, out of habit, pulled out a cigar and then put it back in his bosom. That tenderness, instead, turned into a cruel dagger, tearing Ayla's heart to shreds. She stood there, as if all time had died instantly, like an old tombstone. Despite being betrayed so often, she hadn't grown accustomed to it, and this time was especially difficult to bear.
"That man was the same person," Ayla asked with an empty heart.
“So that’s how you see me, Mastiff.”
"What are you looking at me like that? I don't understand. You have too many expressions."
Mastiff placed a hand on Ayla's pale cheek, his eyes filled with wonder. She longed to hold that warm hand. Ayla, overcome with sorrow, burst into tears, pouring out her true feelings.
"Actually, I didn't ask for much. It didn't matter if you were a bad person or a murderer, I just wanted to know that I was precious..."
She foolishly thought he might hold her dear. Unlike what she heard, he was kind to her—so much so that it could have been mistaken for affection. How dare she, a commoner, a mistress pointed at with fingers.
Ayla, unable to tell the whole story, kept her mouth shut and, startled, bowed and apologized to Mastiff as she always did to people of high social standing.
"I dared to make a slip of the tongue. Please forgive my rudeness. I'm truly grateful that you thought of me..."
Thank you? I'm so sad and hopeless.
Ayla forced a smile, bowed low, and took in the cruel reality strewn across the floor. The sleek tips of his shoes were a blur. Looking down at her worn-out shoes, the soles worn, a wave of misery washed over her. Tears fell, dripping down, soaking the tips of her shabby shoes.
Finally, unable to bear it any longer, she jumped up and fled the mansion. Mastiff's gaze lingered on the spot where she had stood. More precisely, it was observing the raindrops falling, forming circles on the ground.
Mastiff picked up the stuffed animal Ayla had dropped on the sofa as she fled. It was shaped like her favorite cat, but it was missing an eye, perhaps because it was poorly made. Her words suddenly came to mind.
"What kind of salvation do I desire? I want to live like a human being, but I also wish I had just one person who was kind to me."
“It’s not enough.”
Mastiff, who had been mumbling softly, threw the doll away with an indifferent expression.
***
Leaving the mansion and walking along the forest path for a while, Ayla hugged herself, trying to suppress the sorrow and chills of despair that were seeping through her. A starling perched on a walnut tree sang sadly. She wept, overcome by the profound loneliness and isolation.
A halo of light filtered through the lush foliage, illuminating the ground. No matter how bright the daylight was, she could only see the shadows of the light falling on the ground, unable to raise her head.
"It's your choice, so do it well. Even if you die, you'll have less resentment."
'Nature never changes.'
Ayla recalled Count Rotsilt's raw, direct words. Ah, that was advice.
"It's my choice. No one can help me, no one can solve it for me. I have to do it myself..."
What should I do now?
Overwhelmed by the endless despair, she lowered her head and stared at the floor. As she walked aimlessly, staring at the tips of her worn-out shoes, Ayla stood at a fork in the forest path, glaring up at a rusty sign creaking and swaying in the wind.
She arrived at this place by chance. It was a signpost leading to two unfamiliar villages. Ayla looked at the village names written on the signs lined up on either side, and smiled as if she had made up her mind.
"If it's a girl, I'll name it Lilith, and if it's a boy, I'll name it Michael. I've just found my one and only friend."
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