“Honey, how was your trip?”
Noah greeted me as I entered the mansion. The silver bangs that had once covered his forehead were now swept back. The sunlight that gently fell on them reflected off his hair. As I squinted against the glare, I heard a whimpering sound from his side. Noah was holding Daniel, who had arrived at any moment, under his arm.
Daniel's face, flushed red beneath his jet-black hair, swept in the same direction as Noah's, and seemed poised to burst into tears. I belatedly realized I was like a rabbit caught by a wild beast, and waved my hands in panic.
“Prince? Noah, please come down quickly!”
“I played with him. He said he wanted to try out the new light aircraft the airline had developed, so I gave him a preview.”
Noah, who had set Daniel down neatly, smirked wickedly. It seemed like that wasn't the plane that had taken the Young Master.
“...It’s not your fault, brother. I said I’d play with you until you came.”
Daniel, a good boy, embraced Noah with a mature air. It was adorable how he tried to maintain a gentlemanly demeanor, even though he was a little dizzy and staggering.
“Isn’t it fun? Do it again?”
Daniel puffed out his cheeks and shook his head at Noah's playful question. Could that man really be the father? Behind them, the newly arrived, elderly nanny fidgeted. It was obvious he was spinning the Duke's precious eldest son around like a rat.
“Why have you come, Young Master?”
"The Duke of Hessen wants him to stay until dinnertime because he needs to repair the mansion. I'll be his nanny for today."
Noah proudly answered my question. Before I knew it, Daniel had run over to Dr. Rugen, who was sitting on the sofa by the window, and was now sitting on his lap. A deep wrinkle formed around the doctor's eyes, and he smiled broadly, stroking Daniel's soft hair.
“Oh, my cute grandson has grown so much.”
“My grandfather passed away.”
“No, you’re here now.”
Daniel's eyes widened, a look of confusion on his face for a moment. Then, with childish understanding, he nodded and chuckled as Dr. Rugen rubbed his cheek against his.
“Your hair smells like cookies.”
“Grandpa smells like a walnut tree.”
Dr. Rugen loved children. Whenever Daniel came, he would sit on his lap with a kind face and tell stories from the past. At the church he attended every weekend, he would hand out candy to every child he saw, and he would sometimes give money or buy bread to poor children he saw on the street. He had called Noah "grandson," but now he began calling children "grandson." Dr. Rugen's time had regressed to the time when his now-dead grandson was a child.
“My baby, let’s play ball with Grandpa.”
“Yes. Sister and brother, let’s go together.”
Daniel, holding hands with Dr. Rugen, looked this way, his red, rabbit-like eyes widening in amusement. Noah crossed his arms and replied with a cool, proud air.
"I'll let the judgment slide. I don't want to sweat."
We went out to the spacious garden. I sat on the swing and watched an old man and a child pass a ball around. Dr. Rugen and Daniel looked delighted. The warm afternoon sunlight filtered through them. The weather was bright and clear, enough to make the garden's colors stand out. It didn't seem to have rained recently.
It was one of those days, always the same, but something felt different this time. As I gazed silently, I felt a warmth rise in my chest. It was a warmth permeating the green garden where I stood, the sun-drenched afternoon. It felt a little sad, a ticklish sensation like a blade of grass. For some reason, the word "family" came to mind.
As I struggled to pinpoint the source of my uncertain emotions, Noah took my hand and intertwined it with mine. He looked down at the stuffed animal in my other hand.
“It’s a cat doll.”
“Ayla gave it to me as a gift. And it’s a cat.”
"You look like her. She must think a lot about you. She even made you a hair tie because your hair was a little long. You shouldn't be closer to her than I am."
Thinking of me? I blinked several times in disbelief. Noah's face remained as affectionate as ever. The warmth I felt was instead like a blackout curtain of anxiety hanging over my eyes. It was a feeling closer to a comfortable fear, like looking at a scene etched in memory, knowing I would eventually go blind.
I know nothing in this world lasts forever. I know that even those who seem to last forever will eventually vanish. That's why I hated being attracted to someone. I hate the empty memories that fill the void left by someone who has already left. In truth, I hate the feeling of being left alone.
After dinner, the Duke of Hessen came to pick Daniel up. Daniel waved goodbye to Dr. Rugen and me. He didn't say goodbye to Noah, perhaps upset that he'd been sent on that terrifying flight.
"Have a safe trip, Cynthia. Tell me about it when you get back. See you next time, Grandpa."
After sending Daniel away, I locked myself in my study to practice the yoga to cleanse my mind of the worries that filled it, but was soon arrested by Noah.
“Are you secretly reading dirty books again?”
“No.”
I shook my head, pretending not to know and hiding the book. Why does this man know everything? Did he even find out about my attendance at that impure gathering? It wasn't my intention, but it's so unfair.
So here we are in the bedroom, and I'm deeply agonizing over when to ask this difficult question. Indeed, he doesn't care about children at all.
Because it was guaranteed to be effective from the start. Of course, it's not 100% effective, but it's the most effective in this day and age. Latex is the most commonly used, and unfortunately, polyurethane products don't seem to be available yet. It doesn't matter. I always enjoyed spending time with him.
“Actually, I like that better...”
I gasped as I saw Noah emerge, dressed in a bathrobe and with a towel covering his head. Beneath his wet hair, his cheeks were flushed, and the area under his eyes was flushed, making his entire body look moist. Why does the tip of his nose turn red after he washes? It's so racy and cute.
“What’s good?”
“It’s nothing.”
I waved my hand impatiently. Noah, who had fallen onto the bed, the scent of soap wafting out, lifted the blanket and nodded, signaling for me to lie down.
"You're going to Cynthia tomorrow, right? It's a long boat ride, so go to bed early."
“No, don’t think about it too early.”
I have something serious to tell him, but he seemed to take it in a completely different light.
“Yeah, why?”
Only when I saw his cloudy blue eyes glow with a subtle joy and lust did I realize I'd said something that could have been misunderstood. I cleared my throat loudly, creating a serious atmosphere.
"That..."
What should I ask? I'm so embarrassed. He waited patiently for me, frozen motionless. As the second hand on the desk clock ticked halfway through, Noah's muffled voice broke the awkward silence that had descended.
“If you’re embarrassed to say it out loud, should we at least use a hand signal?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. Actually...”
Noah, who had been waiting with great patience, lying on his side with his chin resting on his hand, tilted his head and asked.
“Shall we sleep?”
"Is it so?"
I ended up not being able to say what I wanted to say.
Now's not the time, so let's talk later. We're still newlyweds, right? The moment I closed my eyes, the blanket covering my body swept away, leaving a feeling of emptiness. Noah, his upper body subtly revealed through his robe, brushed back his bangs. My eyes were drawn to his firm chest like a magnet. A languid voice, accompanied by his breath, settled in my ear.
“You should have told me sooner.”
“What?”
“You want to sleep with me.”
You're such a sassy cat. I wasn't trying to sleep with you. That wasn't my intention, but that sexy sight is enough to make me lose my temper. Anyway, that's it. My reason has already been consumed by that sensual man's rational instincts, so there's nothing I can do.
“The flowers have bloomed.”
He spoke, his lips pressed against my bare back. Every time his hot breath touched me, my back arched as if in reaction.
“What kind of shape is it?”
"Here's a butterfly shape. You know how it turns red? Like a flower blooming."
“I can’t see it... does it have another meaning?”
“Yeah, that means you're ready.”
The low, muffled sound faded into a muffled haze. My face flushed with a strange, almost sultry smirk.
Noah's eyes, staring me in the eye, were filled with contrasting desire and impulse. He looked down at me intently and gave me a languid smile.
Occasionally, whenever he furrowed his eyebrows and brow, a soft breath would escape between his teeth and settle on my skin. The sensation, sometimes dizzying and sometimes vivid, sent a shiver down my spine.
As I looked into those blue eyes that were slowly opening, my reason eventually loosened as well.
“Oh, being proactive is good.”
Noah's eyes crinkled with delight as he meekly surrendered the initiative to me. The tips of his ears were flushed red.
“Don’t bite.”
I must be a beast of desire. Any plans to arrogantly reject him, lest I lose interest, always escape somewhere. Meanwhile, a ferocious breathing sound descended from above, engulfing me.
What can't this guy do? How can he just finish things with such perfect timing...
Completely absorbed by his skillful technique, I lay there, catching my breath. My whole body burned with the afterglow of witnessing the culmination of pleasure. The exquisite man lying next to me, looking in my direction, chuckled lazily.
“Are you tired already?”
His hair was pulled back, revealing his handsome eyebrows and forehead. I was secretly gazing at his muscular, muscular upper body, his collarbones adorned with red bite marks, and I decided I should ask him now, before I pounce on him.
“Noah, by any chance... are you not thinking about the child?”
"Yes."
It was a concise answer, considering the considerable effort and time I'd expended on asking the question. While I was confused, unsure of how to respond, he reached out and stroked my cheek.
“Do you want it?”
“Actually, I don’t really think about it. I just asked because I was curious.”
“I don’t like it now.”
"Why?"
Noah paused for a moment, delaying his answer. His blue eyes, bathed in the soft light of the oil lamp, turned toward the stuffed animal on the nightstand. I clenched my fingers, feeling a strange sense of tension.
“I’m not ready yet.”
"All right."
I decided to understand that if the other person didn't want it right away, there was nothing I could do. Ideally, we should plan things through mutual agreement. While I acknowledged that in my head, I felt a strange sense of resentment somewhere.
The thought of a child, even if it were very unlikely, making him look troubled instead of joyful, already made me sad. I pushed away the sadness with a sigh. As I put on the gown he handed me, I suddenly remembered the endless war, the fact that Noah was being watched by Frogen.
“Do you hate being vulnerable?”
Noah stared blankly at my question.
“No? Because I want to enjoy my honeymoon more.”
“Uh... right?”
Having agonized over my in-depth analysis and various interpretations, I couldn't hide my disappointment. "Miss, was I the only one being so serious again? I, a normal human, shouldn't have so easily dismissed that man's unpredictable thoughts."
“Weakness.”
As I abruptly got up and turned around to run away under the pretense of washing up, I heard pleasant laughter behind me.
“My only weakness is you.”
Noah greeted me as I entered the mansion. The silver bangs that had once covered his forehead were now swept back. The sunlight that gently fell on them reflected off his hair. As I squinted against the glare, I heard a whimpering sound from his side. Noah was holding Daniel, who had arrived at any moment, under his arm.
Daniel's face, flushed red beneath his jet-black hair, swept in the same direction as Noah's, and seemed poised to burst into tears. I belatedly realized I was like a rabbit caught by a wild beast, and waved my hands in panic.
“Prince? Noah, please come down quickly!”
“I played with him. He said he wanted to try out the new light aircraft the airline had developed, so I gave him a preview.”
Noah, who had set Daniel down neatly, smirked wickedly. It seemed like that wasn't the plane that had taken the Young Master.
“...It’s not your fault, brother. I said I’d play with you until you came.”
Daniel, a good boy, embraced Noah with a mature air. It was adorable how he tried to maintain a gentlemanly demeanor, even though he was a little dizzy and staggering.
“Isn’t it fun? Do it again?”
Daniel puffed out his cheeks and shook his head at Noah's playful question. Could that man really be the father? Behind them, the newly arrived, elderly nanny fidgeted. It was obvious he was spinning the Duke's precious eldest son around like a rat.
“Why have you come, Young Master?”
"The Duke of Hessen wants him to stay until dinnertime because he needs to repair the mansion. I'll be his nanny for today."
Noah proudly answered my question. Before I knew it, Daniel had run over to Dr. Rugen, who was sitting on the sofa by the window, and was now sitting on his lap. A deep wrinkle formed around the doctor's eyes, and he smiled broadly, stroking Daniel's soft hair.
“Oh, my cute grandson has grown so much.”
“My grandfather passed away.”
“No, you’re here now.”
Daniel's eyes widened, a look of confusion on his face for a moment. Then, with childish understanding, he nodded and chuckled as Dr. Rugen rubbed his cheek against his.
“Your hair smells like cookies.”
“Grandpa smells like a walnut tree.”
Dr. Rugen loved children. Whenever Daniel came, he would sit on his lap with a kind face and tell stories from the past. At the church he attended every weekend, he would hand out candy to every child he saw, and he would sometimes give money or buy bread to poor children he saw on the street. He had called Noah "grandson," but now he began calling children "grandson." Dr. Rugen's time had regressed to the time when his now-dead grandson was a child.
“My baby, let’s play ball with Grandpa.”
“Yes. Sister and brother, let’s go together.”
Daniel, holding hands with Dr. Rugen, looked this way, his red, rabbit-like eyes widening in amusement. Noah crossed his arms and replied with a cool, proud air.
"I'll let the judgment slide. I don't want to sweat."
We went out to the spacious garden. I sat on the swing and watched an old man and a child pass a ball around. Dr. Rugen and Daniel looked delighted. The warm afternoon sunlight filtered through them. The weather was bright and clear, enough to make the garden's colors stand out. It didn't seem to have rained recently.
It was one of those days, always the same, but something felt different this time. As I gazed silently, I felt a warmth rise in my chest. It was a warmth permeating the green garden where I stood, the sun-drenched afternoon. It felt a little sad, a ticklish sensation like a blade of grass. For some reason, the word "family" came to mind.
As I struggled to pinpoint the source of my uncertain emotions, Noah took my hand and intertwined it with mine. He looked down at the stuffed animal in my other hand.
“It’s a cat doll.”
“Ayla gave it to me as a gift. And it’s a cat.”
"You look like her. She must think a lot about you. She even made you a hair tie because your hair was a little long. You shouldn't be closer to her than I am."
Thinking of me? I blinked several times in disbelief. Noah's face remained as affectionate as ever. The warmth I felt was instead like a blackout curtain of anxiety hanging over my eyes. It was a feeling closer to a comfortable fear, like looking at a scene etched in memory, knowing I would eventually go blind.
I know nothing in this world lasts forever. I know that even those who seem to last forever will eventually vanish. That's why I hated being attracted to someone. I hate the empty memories that fill the void left by someone who has already left. In truth, I hate the feeling of being left alone.
***
After dinner, the Duke of Hessen came to pick Daniel up. Daniel waved goodbye to Dr. Rugen and me. He didn't say goodbye to Noah, perhaps upset that he'd been sent on that terrifying flight.
"Have a safe trip, Cynthia. Tell me about it when you get back. See you next time, Grandpa."
After sending Daniel away, I locked myself in my study to practice the yoga to cleanse my mind of the worries that filled it, but was soon arrested by Noah.
“Are you secretly reading dirty books again?”
“No.”
I shook my head, pretending not to know and hiding the book. Why does this man know everything? Did he even find out about my attendance at that impure gathering? It wasn't my intention, but it's so unfair.
So here we are in the bedroom, and I'm deeply agonizing over when to ask this difficult question. Indeed, he doesn't care about children at all.
Because it was guaranteed to be effective from the start. Of course, it's not 100% effective, but it's the most effective in this day and age. Latex is the most commonly used, and unfortunately, polyurethane products don't seem to be available yet. It doesn't matter. I always enjoyed spending time with him.
“Actually, I like that better...”
I gasped as I saw Noah emerge, dressed in a bathrobe and with a towel covering his head. Beneath his wet hair, his cheeks were flushed, and the area under his eyes was flushed, making his entire body look moist. Why does the tip of his nose turn red after he washes? It's so racy and cute.
“What’s good?”
“It’s nothing.”
I waved my hand impatiently. Noah, who had fallen onto the bed, the scent of soap wafting out, lifted the blanket and nodded, signaling for me to lie down.
"You're going to Cynthia tomorrow, right? It's a long boat ride, so go to bed early."
“No, don’t think about it too early.”
I have something serious to tell him, but he seemed to take it in a completely different light.
“Yeah, why?”
Only when I saw his cloudy blue eyes glow with a subtle joy and lust did I realize I'd said something that could have been misunderstood. I cleared my throat loudly, creating a serious atmosphere.
"That..."
What should I ask? I'm so embarrassed. He waited patiently for me, frozen motionless. As the second hand on the desk clock ticked halfway through, Noah's muffled voice broke the awkward silence that had descended.
“If you’re embarrassed to say it out loud, should we at least use a hand signal?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. Actually...”
Noah, who had been waiting with great patience, lying on his side with his chin resting on his hand, tilted his head and asked.
“Shall we sleep?”
"Is it so?"
I ended up not being able to say what I wanted to say.
Now's not the time, so let's talk later. We're still newlyweds, right? The moment I closed my eyes, the blanket covering my body swept away, leaving a feeling of emptiness. Noah, his upper body subtly revealed through his robe, brushed back his bangs. My eyes were drawn to his firm chest like a magnet. A languid voice, accompanied by his breath, settled in my ear.
“You should have told me sooner.”
“What?”
“You want to sleep with me.”
You're such a sassy cat. I wasn't trying to sleep with you. That wasn't my intention, but that sexy sight is enough to make me lose my temper. Anyway, that's it. My reason has already been consumed by that sensual man's rational instincts, so there's nothing I can do.
“The flowers have bloomed.”
He spoke, his lips pressed against my bare back. Every time his hot breath touched me, my back arched as if in reaction.
“What kind of shape is it?”
"Here's a butterfly shape. You know how it turns red? Like a flower blooming."
“I can’t see it... does it have another meaning?”
“Yeah, that means you're ready.”
The low, muffled sound faded into a muffled haze. My face flushed with a strange, almost sultry smirk.
Noah's eyes, staring me in the eye, were filled with contrasting desire and impulse. He looked down at me intently and gave me a languid smile.
Occasionally, whenever he furrowed his eyebrows and brow, a soft breath would escape between his teeth and settle on my skin. The sensation, sometimes dizzying and sometimes vivid, sent a shiver down my spine.
As I looked into those blue eyes that were slowly opening, my reason eventually loosened as well.
“Oh, being proactive is good.”
Noah's eyes crinkled with delight as he meekly surrendered the initiative to me. The tips of his ears were flushed red.
“Don’t bite.”
I must be a beast of desire. Any plans to arrogantly reject him, lest I lose interest, always escape somewhere. Meanwhile, a ferocious breathing sound descended from above, engulfing me.
What can't this guy do? How can he just finish things with such perfect timing...
Completely absorbed by his skillful technique, I lay there, catching my breath. My whole body burned with the afterglow of witnessing the culmination of pleasure. The exquisite man lying next to me, looking in my direction, chuckled lazily.
“Are you tired already?”
His hair was pulled back, revealing his handsome eyebrows and forehead. I was secretly gazing at his muscular, muscular upper body, his collarbones adorned with red bite marks, and I decided I should ask him now, before I pounce on him.
“Noah, by any chance... are you not thinking about the child?”
"Yes."
It was a concise answer, considering the considerable effort and time I'd expended on asking the question. While I was confused, unsure of how to respond, he reached out and stroked my cheek.
“Do you want it?”
“Actually, I don’t really think about it. I just asked because I was curious.”
“I don’t like it now.”
"Why?"
Noah paused for a moment, delaying his answer. His blue eyes, bathed in the soft light of the oil lamp, turned toward the stuffed animal on the nightstand. I clenched my fingers, feeling a strange sense of tension.
“I’m not ready yet.”
"All right."
I decided to understand that if the other person didn't want it right away, there was nothing I could do. Ideally, we should plan things through mutual agreement. While I acknowledged that in my head, I felt a strange sense of resentment somewhere.
The thought of a child, even if it were very unlikely, making him look troubled instead of joyful, already made me sad. I pushed away the sadness with a sigh. As I put on the gown he handed me, I suddenly remembered the endless war, the fact that Noah was being watched by Frogen.
“Do you hate being vulnerable?”
Noah stared blankly at my question.
“No? Because I want to enjoy my honeymoon more.”
“Uh... right?”
Having agonized over my in-depth analysis and various interpretations, I couldn't hide my disappointment. "Miss, was I the only one being so serious again? I, a normal human, shouldn't have so easily dismissed that man's unpredictable thoughts."
“Weakness.”
As I abruptly got up and turned around to run away under the pretense of washing up, I heard pleasant laughter behind me.
“My only weakness is you.”
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