"Well, Your Majesty, this isn't your first time experiencing separation, so you know. Life is a journey, and everything comes to an end."
Roderick turned his head in the direction the Emperor was looking and answered indifferently.
"That's right. I guess I'll become numb as I live. But it'll never get better."
"Yes. It won't get better, but there will come a day when you become accustomed to the pain. There will be more days of laughter than days of tears over old memories."
Hiram forced a smile. A hot tear rolled down his cheek.
"Yes. Even in this gut-wrenching agony, I... will survive, and I must survive. I must live long enough to see Winfred become a father, to see him take his first steps. Only then will I have a chance to face Selene again."
He muttered this, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. It was more like a pledge to himself than to Roderick.
The sun, which had been hanging precariously over the western mountains, had already set beyond the horizon, and a dim, grayish haze was spreading out.
“Aila!”
As soon as his eagerly awaited lover entered the Crown Prince's palace, Winfred ran to her and hugged her, calling her name desperately.
Aila burst into laughter without realizing it as she watched him hug her tightly.
It was because his behavior wasn't much different from that of her four-year-old brother, Noah. Whenever Noah saw his older sister, he would run to her and hug her tightly.
“I missed you so much...”
Winfred gently kissed Aila's forehead. Then he stood there motionless for a moment.
As the time passed, Aila, unable to bear it any longer, finally had no choice but to open her mouth.
"...What are you doing?"
“Filling in the missing Aila concentration.”
It was really nonsense.
“What the hell does that mean? Where is that thing?”
Aila playfully pushed Winfred away, chuckling in disbelief. Had she been using all her might, she would have been thrown, but he remained unmoved, clinging tightly to her waist.
“I’m going to live now. Let’s go in, Aila.”
Winfred, who had been holding her until she was satisfied, finally seemed to have calmed down a little and took her hand as he led her inside.
Inside, a dinner awaited her, a table full of Aila's favorite foods. To be precise, it was closer to foods she didn't even know she liked.
Aila, who wasn't a picky eater and ate whatever was given to her, wasn't really aware of her own preferences. Knowing this, Winfred memorized the foods that brightened her expression every time she ate with him.
Moreover, if you were to follow the etiquette, the food should have been served in order, starting with the appetizer, but since she likes to eat a lot of food at once, it was prepared on one table like this.
“Eat lots. If there’s anything else you want to eat, just tell me.”
Winfred smiled brightly as he pulled out a chair for her to sit comfortably. Aila sat down and happily ate freshly baked bread, generously spreading butter and apricot jam on it.
It was after her regression that she developed a strange discomfort with course meals and preferred meals where everything was served at once.
While the meal with Byron was a course meal, the meal she ate alone in my room was all served on one plate.
After many years of this, her body seemed to have naturally developed a preference for this type of eating.
Aila, who had chewed the bread and taken a sip of the refreshing white milk, opened her mouth as she looked at Winfred, who was glancing at her.
“Don’t just look at me, eat some too, Winfred.”
“Yeah, I’m eating.”
Although he said that, he kept checking her expression while eating or not.
She forked over Winfred's favorite salmon salad and offered it to him. As expected, she'd learned this from observing how he usually ate.
After his mother passed away, she felt like she had to feed him something because his cheeks were thin and emaciated, as if he had been suffering greatly.
“Ah, do it.”
Winfred looked a little surprised that Aila knew his favorite food. Then he quietly opened his mouth and took the food.
After finishing their meal, where they prepared each other's favorite foods, the two quietly moved to Winfred's private space to spend some leisurely time together.
And even then, seeing him constantly checking her expression, Aila sighed.
“Why do you keep looking at me? What did you do wrong?”
“Yeah, I did, sorry... I kept putting off our plans because I was busy. I’m sorry.”
Winfred sighed deeply with a sullen expression.
She thought the self-portrait drawn at the end of the letter was just an exaggeration, but it seemed like he was truly sorry enough to clasp his hands together and beg.
"You've already apologized to me in letters. It wasn't your fault... You and His Majesty the Emperor must have needed time to gather your thoughts. I don't get angry over something like that."
Aila tried to comfort him with the kindest voice she could muster.
She hoped she wouldn't become a burden to Winfred. It was still a long way off, but if she married him, they would start a family and spend the rest of their lives together. Shouldn't their relationship be one where they constantly felt burdened and anxious about this?
Family was supposed to be about providing each other with comfort, like her parents, Roderick and Ophelia.
“...You’re not angry at all?”
“Of course.”
Winfred sighed in relief as he watched Aila assert her assertion. He had been pondering how to alleviate her frustration if she were upset.
"It's a shame we can't meet, and I miss you. I'm also a bit worried about what's on your mind. It's hard to know your innermost feelings just by seeing you briefly in official settings."
"I... am fine. She's been sick for a long time. Father denied it until the very end, but Mother and I... sensed the end was approaching. I guess we were preparing ourselves mentally."
He smiled awkwardly and shrugged. Despite his calm tone, his golden eyes were filled with tears.
“You said it was okay, but what are these tears?”
Aila gently wiped the tears streaming down his cheeks. Unaware of this, Winfred quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.
“Yeah. I really thought I was fine... Why am I crying?”
"Preparing yourself mentally doesn't make things better. Come here, you idiot."
She hugged him tenderly, and Winfred sobbed into her shoulder. Ayla gently patted his back until he calmed down.
How much time had passed? Winfred raised his head, pressing hard against his swollen, red eyelids.
“Aila.”
"Yes?"
“Please put your lap on me.”
He muttered quietly in a nasal voice.
"Yes. In"
When Aila readily offered her knee, Winfred carefully lay down on her lap.
She gently stroked the round back of his head, visible before her eyes. The feeling of his fine hair swaying between her fingers was incredibly pleasant.
"What did you do today? I want to hear everything. Tell me."
"Me? Hmm, nothing much. I wake up at dawn to practice, and in the morning I play with Noah... Oh, you know Rachel? She's my cousin."
“Yeah, I know. We’ve met a few times at banquets.”
Winfred nodded, remembering her, who had silver hair that looked just like Aila's. Every time they met, he'd think of Aila and say hello.
“I had a quick chat with my sister before coming here, and she asked me what I would do if another woman approached you and tried to comfort you, but I got caught.”
At her words, Winfred fell silent for a moment, his gaze wandering here and there. He couldn't bring himself to admit that there hadn't been any such attempt.
Every time he left the palace, countless noble ladies would approach him, saying how heartbroken he must be, and there were even ministers who would spout nonsense, suggesting that he meet their daughters.
Of course, he should have just cut it all off without hesitation, but he didn't want to upset Aila by telling her this.
“So what did you say?”
“I said I would fight that woman fair and square and give her a good beating.”
At Aila's cheerful reply, Winfred burst out laughing without realizing it. It had been so long since he'd laughed so comfortably.
“Of course, you won’t be dueling any woman, you understand?”
Winfred closed his eyes and smiled broadly as he spoke. Of course, Aila was already familiar with this.
“Then, of course, I know.”
Aila answered, gently stroking his hair.
“Haam, I’m sleepy.”
Winfred, feeling somewhat drowsy, yawned softly and rolled over onto his back. Looking down, his lush, pale eyelashes stood out.
“Get some sleep.”
Aila covered his eyes with her palms, closing them. When she removed them, Winfred was already fast asleep.
She watched his sleeping face, chuckling to herself, then closed her eyes with his. It seemed as if drowsiness had taken over her.
And while Aila was dozing off on top of him, Winfred was having a sweet dream.
As a child, he had a dream of sleeping soundly with his head on his mother's lap and feeling her affectionate hands stroking his hair.
It was a more beautiful and missed time than he can return to now.
Roderick turned his head in the direction the Emperor was looking and answered indifferently.
"That's right. I guess I'll become numb as I live. But it'll never get better."
"Yes. It won't get better, but there will come a day when you become accustomed to the pain. There will be more days of laughter than days of tears over old memories."
Hiram forced a smile. A hot tear rolled down his cheek.
"Yes. Even in this gut-wrenching agony, I... will survive, and I must survive. I must live long enough to see Winfred become a father, to see him take his first steps. Only then will I have a chance to face Selene again."
He muttered this, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. It was more like a pledge to himself than to Roderick.
The sun, which had been hanging precariously over the western mountains, had already set beyond the horizon, and a dim, grayish haze was spreading out.
***
“Aila!”
As soon as his eagerly awaited lover entered the Crown Prince's palace, Winfred ran to her and hugged her, calling her name desperately.
Aila burst into laughter without realizing it as she watched him hug her tightly.
It was because his behavior wasn't much different from that of her four-year-old brother, Noah. Whenever Noah saw his older sister, he would run to her and hug her tightly.
“I missed you so much...”
Winfred gently kissed Aila's forehead. Then he stood there motionless for a moment.
As the time passed, Aila, unable to bear it any longer, finally had no choice but to open her mouth.
"...What are you doing?"
“Filling in the missing Aila concentration.”
It was really nonsense.
“What the hell does that mean? Where is that thing?”
Aila playfully pushed Winfred away, chuckling in disbelief. Had she been using all her might, she would have been thrown, but he remained unmoved, clinging tightly to her waist.
“I’m going to live now. Let’s go in, Aila.”
Winfred, who had been holding her until she was satisfied, finally seemed to have calmed down a little and took her hand as he led her inside.
Inside, a dinner awaited her, a table full of Aila's favorite foods. To be precise, it was closer to foods she didn't even know she liked.
Aila, who wasn't a picky eater and ate whatever was given to her, wasn't really aware of her own preferences. Knowing this, Winfred memorized the foods that brightened her expression every time she ate with him.
Moreover, if you were to follow the etiquette, the food should have been served in order, starting with the appetizer, but since she likes to eat a lot of food at once, it was prepared on one table like this.
“Eat lots. If there’s anything else you want to eat, just tell me.”
Winfred smiled brightly as he pulled out a chair for her to sit comfortably. Aila sat down and happily ate freshly baked bread, generously spreading butter and apricot jam on it.
It was after her regression that she developed a strange discomfort with course meals and preferred meals where everything was served at once.
While the meal with Byron was a course meal, the meal she ate alone in my room was all served on one plate.
After many years of this, her body seemed to have naturally developed a preference for this type of eating.
Aila, who had chewed the bread and taken a sip of the refreshing white milk, opened her mouth as she looked at Winfred, who was glancing at her.
“Don’t just look at me, eat some too, Winfred.”
“Yeah, I’m eating.”
Although he said that, he kept checking her expression while eating or not.
She forked over Winfred's favorite salmon salad and offered it to him. As expected, she'd learned this from observing how he usually ate.
After his mother passed away, she felt like she had to feed him something because his cheeks were thin and emaciated, as if he had been suffering greatly.
“Ah, do it.”
Winfred looked a little surprised that Aila knew his favorite food. Then he quietly opened his mouth and took the food.
After finishing their meal, where they prepared each other's favorite foods, the two quietly moved to Winfred's private space to spend some leisurely time together.
And even then, seeing him constantly checking her expression, Aila sighed.
“Why do you keep looking at me? What did you do wrong?”
“Yeah, I did, sorry... I kept putting off our plans because I was busy. I’m sorry.”
Winfred sighed deeply with a sullen expression.
She thought the self-portrait drawn at the end of the letter was just an exaggeration, but it seemed like he was truly sorry enough to clasp his hands together and beg.
"You've already apologized to me in letters. It wasn't your fault... You and His Majesty the Emperor must have needed time to gather your thoughts. I don't get angry over something like that."
Aila tried to comfort him with the kindest voice she could muster.
She hoped she wouldn't become a burden to Winfred. It was still a long way off, but if she married him, they would start a family and spend the rest of their lives together. Shouldn't their relationship be one where they constantly felt burdened and anxious about this?
Family was supposed to be about providing each other with comfort, like her parents, Roderick and Ophelia.
“...You’re not angry at all?”
“Of course.”
Winfred sighed in relief as he watched Aila assert her assertion. He had been pondering how to alleviate her frustration if she were upset.
"It's a shame we can't meet, and I miss you. I'm also a bit worried about what's on your mind. It's hard to know your innermost feelings just by seeing you briefly in official settings."
"I... am fine. She's been sick for a long time. Father denied it until the very end, but Mother and I... sensed the end was approaching. I guess we were preparing ourselves mentally."
He smiled awkwardly and shrugged. Despite his calm tone, his golden eyes were filled with tears.
“You said it was okay, but what are these tears?”
Aila gently wiped the tears streaming down his cheeks. Unaware of this, Winfred quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.
“Yeah. I really thought I was fine... Why am I crying?”
"Preparing yourself mentally doesn't make things better. Come here, you idiot."
She hugged him tenderly, and Winfred sobbed into her shoulder. Ayla gently patted his back until he calmed down.
How much time had passed? Winfred raised his head, pressing hard against his swollen, red eyelids.
“Aila.”
"Yes?"
“Please put your lap on me.”
He muttered quietly in a nasal voice.
"Yes. In"
When Aila readily offered her knee, Winfred carefully lay down on her lap.
She gently stroked the round back of his head, visible before her eyes. The feeling of his fine hair swaying between her fingers was incredibly pleasant.
"What did you do today? I want to hear everything. Tell me."
"Me? Hmm, nothing much. I wake up at dawn to practice, and in the morning I play with Noah... Oh, you know Rachel? She's my cousin."
“Yeah, I know. We’ve met a few times at banquets.”
Winfred nodded, remembering her, who had silver hair that looked just like Aila's. Every time they met, he'd think of Aila and say hello.
“I had a quick chat with my sister before coming here, and she asked me what I would do if another woman approached you and tried to comfort you, but I got caught.”
At her words, Winfred fell silent for a moment, his gaze wandering here and there. He couldn't bring himself to admit that there hadn't been any such attempt.
Every time he left the palace, countless noble ladies would approach him, saying how heartbroken he must be, and there were even ministers who would spout nonsense, suggesting that he meet their daughters.
Of course, he should have just cut it all off without hesitation, but he didn't want to upset Aila by telling her this.
“So what did you say?”
“I said I would fight that woman fair and square and give her a good beating.”
At Aila's cheerful reply, Winfred burst out laughing without realizing it. It had been so long since he'd laughed so comfortably.
“Of course, you won’t be dueling any woman, you understand?”
Winfred closed his eyes and smiled broadly as he spoke. Of course, Aila was already familiar with this.
“Then, of course, I know.”
Aila answered, gently stroking his hair.
“Haam, I’m sleepy.”
Winfred, feeling somewhat drowsy, yawned softly and rolled over onto his back. Looking down, his lush, pale eyelashes stood out.
“Get some sleep.”
Aila covered his eyes with her palms, closing them. When she removed them, Winfred was already fast asleep.
She watched his sleeping face, chuckling to herself, then closed her eyes with his. It seemed as if drowsiness had taken over her.
And while Aila was dozing off on top of him, Winfred was having a sweet dream.
As a child, he had a dream of sleeping soundly with his head on his mother's lap and feeling her affectionate hands stroking his hair.
It was a more beautiful and missed time than he can return to now.
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