The baby's pressure on the nerves leading to my left leg caused a burning tingling sensation day and night, and the pain, like a nail stuck in my lower back, did not go away.
I wanted to complain about why God made only women bear this kind of pain.
At some point, I began to desperately hope that the child in my womb would be a boy. This was the last time I didn't want to get pregnant again.
It was good to receive extreme care from Barcas and everyone around me, but as the physical pain intensified, the satisfaction of conceiving a new life gradually faded. And fear took its place.
Giving birth to a child must be terribly painful, right?
Even when I accepted Barcas's body, I felt overwhelmed every time, but would I be able to handle the birth?
I was overwhelmed with extreme anxiety as I watched my belly gradually swell. While I desperately wanted to be freed from pregnancy as soon as possible, I also wanted that moment to never come.
"Your Highness. I have been brewing herbal tea that stabilizes the nerves. It will help you sleep a little."
Marisen, who had been stirring the pot in front of the fireplace for a long time, approached me with a cup of dark brown liquid. I took it without saying a word.
In the early days of pregnancy, I'd avoided anything that might harm my child, but now I don't mind anything that makes me feel comfortable. While the baby in my womb was full of energy, I was getting more and more emaciated day by day.
I was worried that when the day of childbirth came, I would not have the strength left to give birth.
"Would you like to try this too? It is a reagent sent by Her Majesty Empress. It helped you replenish your energy."
When I finally emptied a cup of tea, this time the nanny approached me with a small medicine bottle.
I, who was staring at it, immediately shook my head. I didn't think that my mother, who regarded the child in my womb as an important piece of organs, would have done me any harm, but it was still hard to trust her blindly.
"I don't want to eat anything anymore because I'm upset."
"Listen to me a little, even if it's because of the sincerity of Her Majesty the Empress. Your Highness... a very precious medicine."
"That's it!"
I was annoyed and shook off the nanny's hand. Then the glass bottle that had escaped her hand rolled to the floor.
Anger crossed the nanny's round face.
The nanny, whose lips were twitching as if she was about to shoot, immediately let out a heavy sigh and put away the glass bottle.
I felt guilty, but instead of apologizing, I turned my back and lay down. I was quite angry with the nanny, who was more concerned about the uselessness of the gift sent by my mother than my own inconvenience.
I pulled the blanket up to my head and pressed my fingertips against my sore pelvis.
How long have I been groaning like that? As the herbal tea worked, the pain gradually decreased, and drowsiness came over. I happily threw myself into the world of the unconscious.
However, peace did not last long. When the sun set, I woke up from a deep sleep with cramps in my legs.
I screamed, clutching the muscles of my violently twisting calves with both hands. It was like a knife stuck in my leg. Tears flowed down my face.
"Please bear with me, Your Highness. I'll give you some medicine."
Marisen, who was resting in front of the fireplace, ran over and put a vial of medicine on the corner of my mouth.
"It's a painkiller. I used a drug that is not harmful to your child, so don't worry."
After hesitating for a while, I reluctantly took a sip of lukewarm medicine when the convulsions did not subside.
In the meantime, Tiuran, who had prepared a pouch filled with hot water, carefully placed it on my leg.
After a while, when the pain subsided, I looked around the dark room with tired eyes. The nanny was standing by the bed, looking down at me with worried eyes. Two young maids stood at the door, ready to run into the corridor and call for the Priestess at any moment.
I muttered in a hoarse voice to calm them down.
"I think I'm okay now."
"How is your belly?"
Tiuran asked, lowering the pouch down my calf.
I caressed my lower belly.
"It's a little tight.. But not too bad."
"I'll give you another cup of tea. It will help calm your mind."
I struggled to raise my upper body. Through the window that was opened for ventilation, I could see the sky turning red.
"Haven't Barcas come back yet?"
"His Excellency, the Grand Duke, is at the Association. He sent a message a few hours ago saying that he would be late."
Tiuran put a pillow on the back of my waist and kindly responded.
I caressed the baby's small buttocks through the thin belly skin to soothe my dissatisfied feelings.
Throughout the season of rest, Barcas never left my side.
Most of the work was done by sitting at the desk in the bedroom, and after the cold snap, he reduced his outings to the meetinghouse and attending city court. Thanks to this, I was able to enjoy the luxury of pampering the Grand Duke of the East as if it were my own servant.
Barcas hugged me as I moaned all night, kneaded my waist, brought a cold towel to wipe my sweaty nape and face, and sometimes prepared a steam bag and applied it to the sore area until I fell asleep.
However, when the spring season began, Barcas had to return to his busy daily life. Various tasks that had been put off were rushed in like a tidal wave.
Barcas reorganized the estate's administration, which had been stagnant during the winter, and led the knights around the barracks to assess the military situation.
There were more than one or two other things to worry about. Large-scale military exercises began at the battlefield of Raedgo Castle, and armed messengers came in and out of the castle from time to time.
I felt that the embers of war clouds in the north were slowly awakening, but I said nothing about it.
I wanted to firmly believe that even if a war broke out in the north, it would not affect the east.
Barcas fulfilled his duty of loyalty by sending cavalry, and the rest was the responsibility of the imperial family.
Maybe Gareth will go out to suppress the rebellion himself.
If the man died in the war, I would be grateful.
I, who giggled softly at the thought of my half-brother pierced by the blade of a northerner, suddenly felt a thought flash through my brain and stiffened.
Could it be that Senevere is behind this war?
If the North actually started a war of independence, it was likely that the Crown Prince would be appointed commander-in-chief.
If she just pushes him to the battlefield, my mother will have a chance to get rid of her stepson without any suspicion.
I, who was preoccupied with this thought, realized that I was indulging in a baseless delusion and burst into laughter.
No matter how powerful Senevere was, she could not control even the northern nobles behind the scenes.
Even if such a thing were possible, would my mother even encourage a civil war?
If even a single piece of evidence of Involvement in treason is presented, even the Empress will not be spared from hanging. There is no way Senevere would take such a risky gamble.
I, who was lost in my absurd imagination, suddenly felt my stomach pull and put down the teacup I was holding in my hand. Then I carefully changed my position, and I felt the wet skirt unpleasantly tangled against my legs.
I frowned. Apparently, my whole body was covered in sweat because I struggled so badly.
I lowered my foot under the bed and nodded to the maids.
"I think I need to wash it. Prepare the bath water."
"Hold on tight. I'll support you."
Tiuran put the steam bag aside and grabbed my forearm.
I carefully stood up, holding her slender but firm shoulders. Then, suddenly, I felt a lukewarm liquid flowing down my thighs, and I stiffened my body.
I didn't urinate, did I?
I looked down at the wet skirt with terrified eyes, and I heard a sound of heavy panting beside me.
"Oh my God!"
I, who guessed that Tiuran had screamed after witnessing her mistake, turned bright red with shame. Then, I noticed a hint of fear in the woman's eyes and stiffened my body.
An ominous premonition ran down my spine.
"Call the priestess right away!"
Tiuran laid me back on the bed with a hurried hand and shouted loudly to the maids.
"What are you doing standing still! The amniotic fluid burst! Hurry up!"
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