However, he always stood on the other side of me.
He is now a devoted husband, but I don't know when he will turn his back on me again.
I continued in an enthusiastic tone.
"When this child is born, teach him how to ride a horse. You Easterners learn to ride a horse before they even learn to walk? This child is also half an Eastern man..."
I, who had been making a fuss about making Barcas attach to the child, suddenly wondered what would happen if I put a baby who had never really taken his steps on that smelly and violent beast.
"But you have to teach them after they're old enough... If he's too scared, I don't want you to force it. Because this child resembles me..."
I was about to say that he might be scared, but I quickly corrected the content.
"He might hate horses."
"...That would be a bit of a problem."
As I looked down at my lower belly, a fine wrinkle appeared on Barcas's eyebrows.
"If he wants to follow me and rule the East, he must learn horseback riding. The successor of the Grand Duke must command 60,000 cavalry."
I frowned.
I had no intention of sending the baby fairy who was growing in my belly to the battlefield.
I'll leave those dangerous things to Barcas and the knights who follow him, and my baby will be happy with me in a safe place.
I held back what I wanted to say.
In any case, it was Important that Barcas clearly recognized this child as the heir to the Grand Duchy.
"Then take your time to teach this child to like horses."
The man looked up at me. Although it was still difficult to understand the inside of his face, I could now easily read the worries and expectations in his eyes.
He said softly.
"Don't worry. When a child is born, I plan to raise him well with patience. More than that... Isn't it difficult for you to move like this?"
"Of course it's hard!"
In fact, this was the first time I had such a strong birth, but I broke and scolded.
Barcas's face hardened immediately.
"Have you talked to the healer? Is there a way to relieve the pain..."
"I refused to use a sleeping candle. It might hurt the child."
Hoping that he would know how much I cared about the child, I confided in him.
After caressing his chin for a moment, Barcas immediately opened his mouth.
"You can follow the healer's words. Your Highness must be healthy so that you can complete the birth safely."
"I can still do as much as I want."
I retorted.
"It's something that every woman in the world endures. What can't I do?"
A look of skepticism appeared on Barcas' face. Feeling his gaze naturally turn to my legs, I blushed with contempt.
For what? Do you think I'm crippled and won't be able to have children? I barely endured what I wanted to do.
If he remembered MY broken body and felt even more guilty and responsible, and if he put me and his child above all else, I could endure any amount of shame.
I smiled heartily, hiding my bitter heart.
"Why take it so seriously, you idiot? I just got angry."
"..."
"It's been like that before, but you're too hard-headed. You don't joke around and take pranks too seriously."
"How do you take a pregnant wife complaining that she is in pain as a joke?"
Barcas let out a sigh of relief. I, relieved by the words, let him caress my stomach a little longer.
After a while, the maids came into the room with our meals.
Barcas watched me eat, then changed his clothes and went outside.
I, who had been waiting for his return until the very beginning, soon fell asleep exhausted. I had run out of stamina because I had not slept for several days.
I, who fainted in a daze without even feeling the pain, woke up the next day, when the sun rose in the middle of the sky.
I, who was rubbing my stiff eyes as if they were covered in sand, was the first to put my hand on my lower belly to check on the child's safety.
Yesterday the baby struggled like that, but today he was calm again. Maybe he's slept soundly for the first time in a long time. I thought about it in a daze and looked around the room.
Barcas was nowhere to be seen, but traces of his stay overnight were visible everywhere. It seemed that he had sneaked out to avoid waking me up from a deep sleep for the first time in a long time.
I got straight out of bed and began grooming. Perhaps there are people among Barcas' attendants, butlers, or soldiers who overheard the news brought by Edric Rubon. I was about to pursue them.
"That coat is fine. Bring it in clothes that are as inconspicuous as possible."
The maids who were holding out my coats made of silver fur exchanged embarrassed glances.
I asked with a puzzled face.
"Why?"
"No matter what you wear, Your Highness will stand out."
The maid blushed and muttered in a crawling voice. I wasn't in the mood to listen to the flattery, so I let out a sigh of annoyance.
"Then just bring any coat."
The maid came straight to me with a thick woolen robe. I put it on my shoulder and carefully left the room. Fortunately, the pain in my back subsided a little, so it wasn't too difficult for me to move.
"Do you know what the knight who came to visit last night said?"
As I passed through the hallway, I spotted Barcas' attendant and asked him a question.
A boy who looked less than twenty years old gave me a look of fear as if he had been whipped like a horse.
"I, I... That's..."
I was impressed. Most people were already used to treating me as a boil that they shouldn't be touched, but it seemed to have become more severe in recent years.
I added as if questioning.
"Why can't you speak straight? Did you pick up anything?"
"I'm sorry, Your Highness. I don't know anything. I went to bed early yesterday..."
"So who attended to Barcas last night?"
"Well, that too..."
Why does Barcas have such a stupid thing?
I glared at the boy who couldn't even open his mouth properly with an annoyed face, and I heard a voice mixed with sighs behind me.
"If you have any questions, just ask me directly. Why do you take the Amanis?"
I turned my head and froze, spotting Edric Rubon scratching the back of his head.
He let out a heavy sigh and slammed in front of me.
"I will answer as much as I can. For now, I will move..."
I reflexively looked at the hilt of the knife hanging from his waist.
Perhaps this man came to harm me on the orders of Ayla or Gareth. Filled with such irrational fear, I hesitated and took a step back. Then I staggered and lost the center of my body.
At that moment, a man rushed over and grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me viciously. With my nose stuck to his chest and breastplate, I frowned and hurriedly stepped back. Then a rough voice came from above my head.
"Stay still! It was almost a big deal!"
I looked back with a smirk.
Just behind my heels was the first compartment of a long staircase leading to the first floor.
Realizing that I was about to fall off, I wrapped my arms around my stomach and shrank my shoulders as much as I could.
The man who dragged me into the hallway raised his voice.
"I ask, why is Your Highness so precarious? How much more do you have to make other people's bad so that you can be regretful..."
"Yes, so let this go."
I grabbed his wrist and carefully examined the knight's pale face. When I saw his heart pounding and my hands on his chest, I took a deep breath, and my pulse relaxed.
I felt like a fool for suspecting that this man might be an assassin sent by my half-brothers...
This guy was a fool who wanted to fulfill his role as a knight of the guard and confronted the Prince. If he had known how to do something as quick as an assassination, he wouldn't have done such a stupid thing in the first place.
I shrugged my shoulders and spat out in a sour tone.
"It's because you surprised me. It's all your fault."
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