After asking the question, I shook my head, thinking it was nonsense even to me.
“No. I think I misunderstood something.”
“Chloe.”
“I’m going to go horseback riding with Lamia, so I’ll be going now.”
I came out in a hurry.
'I guess I'm really crazy.'
I used to think that Karl and Callius looked alike, but now I'm starting to get them confused.
'It's really weird.'
Karl has always been by my side in the same form, but I confuse him with Callius, who suddenly appeared in my life.
I was so dumbfounded that I laughed out loud and shook off my thoughts.
But after that day.
“Chloe.”
"Karl?"
I was delighted to see Karl suddenly appear in my room when no one was there, and I approached him.
I wanted to talk about forgetting our last fight and getting along well again.
But Karl saw it up close.
“...Callius.”
It was Callius, not Karl.
“Did you see Karl?”
“Oh, no. Sorry. I guess I got it mixed up.”
“...”
Callius let it slide without saying a word.
But this wasn't the first or second time that something like that happened.
Every time Callius appeared, I saw the image of Karl in him.
As this kept happening, I started to feel bad about looking at Callius.
"I'm so sorry, I keep confusing you. I didn't mean to... I really thought it was Karl. Why does this keep happening? I guess it's because I've been waiting for him so long since our fight..."
I was busy making excuses.
But Callius never seemed offended, just smiled and changed the subject as if it was nothing.
“Shall we go for a walk together, Chloe?”
“Shall we ask the chef to make us a sweet treat?”
“How are you feeling today?”
It was Callius who asked such questions every time.
Thanks to that, the time I spend with him has increased significantly.
It felt like Callius was staying by my side longer than Lamia or Leviche.
It was nice being with him.
Everything was so enjoyable and comfortable that I couldn't even begin to explain what was so good about it.
But I couldn't understand why I kept confusing Callius and Karl, and why my memories of meeting Karl for the first time kept feeling like memories of Callius.
I wondered if it was because I had become so close to Callius.
I thought it might be a little confusing.
But every single expression on Callius' face, every careless remark he made, kept reminding me of Karl's appearance from a dozen years ago.
I was startled every time I found myself casually playing the same mischievous pranks on Callius as I did on Karl.
Sometimes, it felt strange to see myself now naturally sharing my deepest feelings, which I had previously only revealed to Karl, with Callius.
I'm starting to get more and more confused between Callius and Karl.
As grateful as I was to Callius, who had passed it off as nothing, a corner of my heart began to feel unbearably heavy.
“I want to be alone.”
After sending Leviche off to work, I spoke to Lamia, who had returned to me after training with Granada.
“Lamia, you should rest early, too.”
“But there’s still some time before the master arrives...”
"Hey, aren't you treating me like a child? I can be just fine on my own. I'm not going out, I'm just in my room."
“Lord Granada said that the escort knights must never let their guard down for even a moment.”
"Oh, it's okay. Callius will be back soon after finishing his work."
“Then let me check the fireplace one more time.”
“I already checked it twice.”
Even though I kept telling her to go back to her dorm first and rest, since it was okay to be alone, Lamia made all sorts of excuses as if she didn't want to leave me alone.
'In the past, she was happier than anyone else to get off work early.'
They say people don't change much, but Lamia acted like a completely different person than she did at first.
There has never been such a dependable escort knight.
After struggling to get Lamia away, I was left alone in the quiet room.
I didn't send Lamia away just because I really wanted to be alone.
I waited for someone to appear before me.
When I'm lonely and having a hard time, when I'm unsure of my thoughts, when I have worries, I want to be honest with myself.
The one who gives me strength.
I waited for him in silence.
It wasn't long before he appeared before me.
“Chloe.”
I was sitting on a chair looking out the window when I raised my head and looked at the person standing in front of me.
“Callius.”
Callius was looking at me with concern.
Judging by the slightly disheveled hair, it seemed like he had run.
I stood up, reached out, and smiled as I smoothed his hair.
“Did you come running here because you heard I was alone? Sit down.”
“I met Lamia by chance.”
“Lamia must have run and told Callius to hurry and come to me since she was kicked out.”
“...”
Callius kept his mouth shut, as if he couldn't lie.
“You’re worried about me being alone, right? That’s why you tried to get someone to stick with me.”
“Rather than that.”
"It's okay. I knew it. Callius has been worried about me a lot lately."
“...Did you notice it?”
“I noticed something strange when I noticed my feet were numb. I guess it’s because I’ve been acting strangely for the past few days.”
I took a deep breath and spoke honestly.
"As you may have noticed, I keep confusing you with Karl these days. I keep thinking it was you, not Karl, that I met when I was younger."
I was nervous and shaking.
But I didn't stop and finished what I wanted to say.
"The days I spent with Karl feel like a dream, unreal. All those long hours."
In fact, it was a story I only wanted to tell to Karl.
I was saying that to Callius.
Callius looked at me blankly, a little surprised.
My voice was trembling, and I was crying, but I didn't even have the presence of mind to calm my voice, so I continued speaking in a trembling voice.
“I think I’m out of my mind, just like people have been saying all this time.”
The muscles around my mouth twitched.
I was too scared and sad to admit that I was crazy.
“I’m afraid you’ll reject me. I’m afraid you’ll stop trusting what I say.”
It was scary and terrifying, but I had to tell him.
Because I don't want him to guess and worry on his own.
“Since you are my husband, I felt like you should know my condition better than anyone else.”
Callius took my hand with his warm hands.
“Am I crazy?”
His gaze on me did not waver.
When I saw that, I could tell for sure.
“You knew it.”
I stared at him with my eyes wide open, trembling with fear, trying not to miss the look in his eyes or the expression on his face.
But my vision kept getting blurry, and tears started flowing.
“I get it now.”
I raised my hand and pointed behind Callius.
“That kid is only visible to my eyes.”
What I was pointing at was Karl, who had been staring at me from inside this room all this time.
Callius didn't even look back at my gesture.
He knows that Karl does not exist.
When Callius entered the room, Karl was already in the room with him.
As if he had sensed my determination to reveal everything today, Karl remained in place even when Callius appeared.
But Callius didn't notice Karl at all and passed by him and came to me.
I was hoping so.
Unbearable sobs kept bursting out from the bottom of my throat, sobbing and sobbing.
Karl was speaking to me through his mouth.
You'll regret it, Chloe.
The boy's eyes, which seemed filled with discontent, were as filled with fear as my own eyes reflected in the window.
Everything became clear.
I took a deep breath and forced a smile.
“It really was you. The boy I met when I was little.”
Tears welled up at the end of the smile.
"After you left, the loneliness became unbearable. I could bear it before, but once I tasted warmth, I couldn't bear it anymore. I spent nights awake in this crushing loneliness, thinking of you."
“...”
"I was desperately hoping you'd come back. And then one day, Karl showed up."
Yeah, that's where it starts.
I created Karl, who doesn't exist.
I got up and approached Karl.
“That guy might leave you, Chloe.”
“...”
“I won’t love you anymore.”
“...”
“You’ll be lonely again. You’ll be rejected, and your life will become hell again.”
I stood in front of Karl, who said that.
“Don’t be afraid, Karl.”
Karl was trembling violently and sobbing.
In fact, it was I who was trembling with fear and crying.
Callius got up and came towards me.
He grabbed my trembling shoulders.
“Chloe.”
I looked at Karl, my hand resting on his warm hand that was giving me warmth.
No, actually, I was looking at a mirror that only reflected me and Callius, who was standing behind me.
No matter where I looked, I couldn't find anything like the image of a little boy in the mirror.
“No. I think I misunderstood something.”
“Chloe.”
“I’m going to go horseback riding with Lamia, so I’ll be going now.”
I came out in a hurry.
'I guess I'm really crazy.'
I used to think that Karl and Callius looked alike, but now I'm starting to get them confused.
'It's really weird.'
Karl has always been by my side in the same form, but I confuse him with Callius, who suddenly appeared in my life.
I was so dumbfounded that I laughed out loud and shook off my thoughts.
But after that day.
“Chloe.”
"Karl?"
I was delighted to see Karl suddenly appear in my room when no one was there, and I approached him.
I wanted to talk about forgetting our last fight and getting along well again.
But Karl saw it up close.
“...Callius.”
It was Callius, not Karl.
“Did you see Karl?”
“Oh, no. Sorry. I guess I got it mixed up.”
“...”
Callius let it slide without saying a word.
But this wasn't the first or second time that something like that happened.
Every time Callius appeared, I saw the image of Karl in him.
As this kept happening, I started to feel bad about looking at Callius.
"I'm so sorry, I keep confusing you. I didn't mean to... I really thought it was Karl. Why does this keep happening? I guess it's because I've been waiting for him so long since our fight..."
I was busy making excuses.
But Callius never seemed offended, just smiled and changed the subject as if it was nothing.
“Shall we go for a walk together, Chloe?”
“Shall we ask the chef to make us a sweet treat?”
“How are you feeling today?”
It was Callius who asked such questions every time.
Thanks to that, the time I spend with him has increased significantly.
It felt like Callius was staying by my side longer than Lamia or Leviche.
It was nice being with him.
Everything was so enjoyable and comfortable that I couldn't even begin to explain what was so good about it.
But I couldn't understand why I kept confusing Callius and Karl, and why my memories of meeting Karl for the first time kept feeling like memories of Callius.
I wondered if it was because I had become so close to Callius.
I thought it might be a little confusing.
But every single expression on Callius' face, every careless remark he made, kept reminding me of Karl's appearance from a dozen years ago.
I was startled every time I found myself casually playing the same mischievous pranks on Callius as I did on Karl.
Sometimes, it felt strange to see myself now naturally sharing my deepest feelings, which I had previously only revealed to Karl, with Callius.
I'm starting to get more and more confused between Callius and Karl.
As grateful as I was to Callius, who had passed it off as nothing, a corner of my heart began to feel unbearably heavy.
***
“I want to be alone.”
After sending Leviche off to work, I spoke to Lamia, who had returned to me after training with Granada.
“Lamia, you should rest early, too.”
“But there’s still some time before the master arrives...”
"Hey, aren't you treating me like a child? I can be just fine on my own. I'm not going out, I'm just in my room."
“Lord Granada said that the escort knights must never let their guard down for even a moment.”
"Oh, it's okay. Callius will be back soon after finishing his work."
“Then let me check the fireplace one more time.”
“I already checked it twice.”
Even though I kept telling her to go back to her dorm first and rest, since it was okay to be alone, Lamia made all sorts of excuses as if she didn't want to leave me alone.
'In the past, she was happier than anyone else to get off work early.'
They say people don't change much, but Lamia acted like a completely different person than she did at first.
There has never been such a dependable escort knight.
After struggling to get Lamia away, I was left alone in the quiet room.
I didn't send Lamia away just because I really wanted to be alone.
I waited for someone to appear before me.
When I'm lonely and having a hard time, when I'm unsure of my thoughts, when I have worries, I want to be honest with myself.
The one who gives me strength.
I waited for him in silence.
It wasn't long before he appeared before me.
“Chloe.”
I was sitting on a chair looking out the window when I raised my head and looked at the person standing in front of me.
“Callius.”
Callius was looking at me with concern.
Judging by the slightly disheveled hair, it seemed like he had run.
I stood up, reached out, and smiled as I smoothed his hair.
“Did you come running here because you heard I was alone? Sit down.”
“I met Lamia by chance.”
“Lamia must have run and told Callius to hurry and come to me since she was kicked out.”
“...”
Callius kept his mouth shut, as if he couldn't lie.
“You’re worried about me being alone, right? That’s why you tried to get someone to stick with me.”
“Rather than that.”
"It's okay. I knew it. Callius has been worried about me a lot lately."
“...Did you notice it?”
“I noticed something strange when I noticed my feet were numb. I guess it’s because I’ve been acting strangely for the past few days.”
I took a deep breath and spoke honestly.
"As you may have noticed, I keep confusing you with Karl these days. I keep thinking it was you, not Karl, that I met when I was younger."
I was nervous and shaking.
But I didn't stop and finished what I wanted to say.
"The days I spent with Karl feel like a dream, unreal. All those long hours."
In fact, it was a story I only wanted to tell to Karl.
I was saying that to Callius.
Callius looked at me blankly, a little surprised.
My voice was trembling, and I was crying, but I didn't even have the presence of mind to calm my voice, so I continued speaking in a trembling voice.
“I think I’m out of my mind, just like people have been saying all this time.”
The muscles around my mouth twitched.
I was too scared and sad to admit that I was crazy.
“I’m afraid you’ll reject me. I’m afraid you’ll stop trusting what I say.”
It was scary and terrifying, but I had to tell him.
Because I don't want him to guess and worry on his own.
“Since you are my husband, I felt like you should know my condition better than anyone else.”
Callius took my hand with his warm hands.
“Am I crazy?”
His gaze on me did not waver.
When I saw that, I could tell for sure.
“You knew it.”
I stared at him with my eyes wide open, trembling with fear, trying not to miss the look in his eyes or the expression on his face.
But my vision kept getting blurry, and tears started flowing.
“I get it now.”
I raised my hand and pointed behind Callius.
“That kid is only visible to my eyes.”
What I was pointing at was Karl, who had been staring at me from inside this room all this time.
Callius didn't even look back at my gesture.
He knows that Karl does not exist.
When Callius entered the room, Karl was already in the room with him.
As if he had sensed my determination to reveal everything today, Karl remained in place even when Callius appeared.
But Callius didn't notice Karl at all and passed by him and came to me.
I was hoping so.
Unbearable sobs kept bursting out from the bottom of my throat, sobbing and sobbing.
Karl was speaking to me through his mouth.
You'll regret it, Chloe.
The boy's eyes, which seemed filled with discontent, were as filled with fear as my own eyes reflected in the window.
Everything became clear.
I took a deep breath and forced a smile.
“It really was you. The boy I met when I was little.”
Tears welled up at the end of the smile.
"After you left, the loneliness became unbearable. I could bear it before, but once I tasted warmth, I couldn't bear it anymore. I spent nights awake in this crushing loneliness, thinking of you."
“...”
"I was desperately hoping you'd come back. And then one day, Karl showed up."
Yeah, that's where it starts.
I created Karl, who doesn't exist.
I got up and approached Karl.
“That guy might leave you, Chloe.”
“...”
“I won’t love you anymore.”
“...”
“You’ll be lonely again. You’ll be rejected, and your life will become hell again.”
I stood in front of Karl, who said that.
“Don’t be afraid, Karl.”
Karl was trembling violently and sobbing.
In fact, it was I who was trembling with fear and crying.
Callius got up and came towards me.
He grabbed my trembling shoulders.
“Chloe.”
I looked at Karl, my hand resting on his warm hand that was giving me warmth.
No, actually, I was looking at a mirror that only reflected me and Callius, who was standing behind me.
No matter where I looked, I couldn't find anything like the image of a little boy in the mirror.
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