After some time, a light streamed down onto Ivan's knees, which were resting on the floor. Ivan stared blankly at the light pouring through the window. The sun, revealing itself through the pitch-black sky, shone brightly.
Oh, I have to keep an eye on Ian.
This wasn't the time to be losing his mind like a madman. Ivan finally came to his senses, groping for the floor as he rose from his seat. Then, as if by habit, he placed his hand on Ian's forehead. Unlike the morning, when his hand had been burning hot, it was only a slight fever.
"Ah..."
At the same time, Ian opened his eyes. He smiled bashfully, perhaps sensing that his father's devoted care had lifted the fever that had plagued him for days.
Ivan stared blankly down at his son for a moment, then barely managed to move the corners of his trembling lips to show a smile.
“Ian.”
“...”
“My treasure...”
Ivan muttered, lifting Ian with trembling hands. Gratifying the lukewarm warmth still in his hands, he kissed Ian's forehead repeatedly.
Then Ivan shook the rope next to Ian's bed. With a clear ringing, Mrs. Howard, who had been waiting outside, unable to even breathe, hurried in.
“His Highness the Crown Prince!”
And then, screaming and cheering, she ran towards Ian. Her eyes were puffy, as if she'd been crying all night, thinking something was wrong with Ian. The maids glanced inside through the door and beamed with delight.
Meanwhile, Ian, his jet-black eyes sparkling, smiled as he ran his hand over Ivan's rough chin. Ivan observed his son's eyes and smile, which resembled his mother's, and thought.
Yes, I must live for you. So that you can grow up peacefully in my arms. To give you peace and stability, your mother never knew.
That's the life he wants for Ian.
“His Highness the Crown Prince!”
A child's laughter, like a ghost, could be heard in the empty hallway. Mrs. Howard stood in the middle of the corridor, her hands on her hips, staring in the direction of the dark shadows.
“I have no idea where you went.”
The sound of loud laughter was heard again. Mrs. Howard pretended to look away and started walking in Ian's direction. Ian, not believing she had found him, because Mrs. Howard was looking elsewhere, kept his mouth shut, and held his breath.
“Where on earth did you go...”
“...”
“Kaa!”
Oh, I have to keep an eye on Ian.
This wasn't the time to be losing his mind like a madman. Ivan finally came to his senses, groping for the floor as he rose from his seat. Then, as if by habit, he placed his hand on Ian's forehead. Unlike the morning, when his hand had been burning hot, it was only a slight fever.
"Ah..."
At the same time, Ian opened his eyes. He smiled bashfully, perhaps sensing that his father's devoted care had lifted the fever that had plagued him for days.
Ivan stared blankly down at his son for a moment, then barely managed to move the corners of his trembling lips to show a smile.
“Ian.”
“...”
“My treasure...”
Ivan muttered, lifting Ian with trembling hands. Gratifying the lukewarm warmth still in his hands, he kissed Ian's forehead repeatedly.
Then Ivan shook the rope next to Ian's bed. With a clear ringing, Mrs. Howard, who had been waiting outside, unable to even breathe, hurried in.
“His Highness the Crown Prince!”
And then, screaming and cheering, she ran towards Ian. Her eyes were puffy, as if she'd been crying all night, thinking something was wrong with Ian. The maids glanced inside through the door and beamed with delight.
Meanwhile, Ian, his jet-black eyes sparkling, smiled as he ran his hand over Ivan's rough chin. Ivan observed his son's eyes and smile, which resembled his mother's, and thought.
Yes, I must live for you. So that you can grow up peacefully in my arms. To give you peace and stability, your mother never knew.
That's the life he wants for Ian.
***
“His Highness the Crown Prince!”
A child's laughter, like a ghost, could be heard in the empty hallway. Mrs. Howard stood in the middle of the corridor, her hands on her hips, staring in the direction of the dark shadows.
“I have no idea where you went.”
The sound of loud laughter was heard again. Mrs. Howard pretended to look away and started walking in Ian's direction. Ian, not believing she had found him, because Mrs. Howard was looking elsewhere, kept his mouth shut, and held his breath.
“Where on earth did you go...”
“...”
“Kaa!”
"Eek." Ian slumped down in surprise. Mrs. Howard looked down at Ian, who clutched his chest in shock, smiled briefly, then helped the boy up.
“This nanny is getting old, so she has a hard time playing tag for a long time.”
She didn't forget to carefully brush away the dust from Ian's clothes.
“For something like that, you’re doing too well.”
At that moment, a voice with a faint hint of laughter was heard. Ian, who had been standing still at Mrs. Howard's touch, turned his head forcefully.
“Papa!”
And before Mrs. Howard could stop him, but he started running wildly. A five-year-old boy is truly an unruly, unruly creature. Mrs. Howard sighed and straightened her bent knees.
"Your Majesty."
“Thank you for your hard work, Mrs. Howard.”
Ivan easily lifted his son, who was rushing at him, into one arm. While it wasn't difficult for Ivan, who was in his prime, to handle Ian, he knew it wouldn't be easy for the elderly Mrs. Howard.
“I told you not to run with Mrs. Howard.”
Ivan tapped Ian's nose with his index finger as he spoke. Ian covered his nose with both hands and giggled. He was brimming with playfulness. This was thanks to the love he received from his father.
“Just leave it. You’re sure to ask to do it again tomorrow anyway.”
“I’ll take him, so Mrs. Howard, get some rest.”
“I will gratefully accept it.”
Mrs. Howard responded with a pat on the back. Ivan began walking away, his back turned to Mrs. Howard, holding Ian in his arms. Mrs. Howard watched the father and son's backs with a wistful expression.
Ivan always felt guilty, believing he had robbed Ian of the opportunity to receive his mother's love and his own. Therefore, he showered Ian with love, ensuring he never felt deprived of the love he had from his father.
At night, he read him storybooks until he fell asleep, and when he did, he kissed his forehead. He gave him anything he wanted, as long as it wasn't an outrageous request.
Even so, the child suffered on nights when he looked for his mother.
“When will everything be okay...?”
No matter how much time passed, some things never disappeared. Mrs. Howard sighed and muttered.
“Papa.”
"Yes."
“I want to see the picture.”
Even though he was Ivan, he wasn't unaware of Mrs. Howard's concerns. In fact, he had already hinted several times about holding a state wedding, so he couldn't have been unaware.
“What picture?”
"Mama!"
When Ivan started to act like a fool, Ian hit his father on the shoulder with his palm and shouted.
"Ahhh."
Ivan stopped and told Ian to keep his voice down. Only then did Ian cover his mouth with both hands and roll his eyes. Ivan had repeatedly told him not to mention Mama anywhere else.
“I miss my mom...”
Ian wrapped his arms tightly around Ivan's neck and whispered in his ear. It was a lovely voice.
“Yeah, if you want.”
Ivan sat down, supporting his son firmly in his arms, and began walking again. Considering he wasn't old enough to walk, he was overprotective.
“I greet Your Majesty the Emperor, and His Royal Highness the Crown Prince.”
However, all the palace servants were accustomed to the sight and weren't surprised. Ivan had practically carried Ian in his arms ever since he nearly died from a high fever. His overprotectiveness toward his son had been a tradition for years. Under these circumstances, no one dared to mention Ian's origins or anything like that.
"Hi!"
Moreover, whenever they were greeted by the cheerful and charming Crown Prince, everyone would feel disarmed and would laugh foolishly. Ian, moreover, was a being who could make even the cold and inhuman Emperor smile. It was only natural that everyone in the palace would fall in love with the Crown Prince.
Ivan passed those with such thoughts and reached his destination. It was a museum of sorts, a space housing artwork and jewels owned by the Escliff royal family. Access was off-limits to non-royal members, and Ian, being young, was at greater risk of damaging the items, so he was only allowed to enter with Ivan's accompaniment.
“I want to go down!”
As he reached the desired space, Ian stamped his feet in the air, indicating he was going down. Ivan silently lowered his son to the floor.
Then Ian opened the door and stepped inside first, then began to walk slowly and deeply into the room. Ivan followed his son at a leisurely pace. He didn't rush even when Ian's back disappeared from view at one point.
In any case, Ian's destination was the portrait of his mother, located in the innermost part. And Ivan's prediction was correct. Now, he could see the back of a child slightly over half his height.
“Mom, today.”
Ian began to chatter, recounting his day's events. Ivan watched, then turned his gaze to the portrait. It was beautiful, but somehow, as expected from an artist, it felt like something was missing. It was his work.
“Ian. You can’t call anyone ‘Mama.’”
The day he saw Ian grab a random woman at a banquet and call her "Mama."
“Then where is my mama?”
And the day he realized he had nothing to say to that question other than that she was a beautiful woman with black hair and dark eyes, Ivan felt an unbearable pain.
I miss you.
The feelings he'd buried, unable to express anywhere, consumed him in an instant. A terrible loneliness suddenly overtook him. So, drunk, Ivan picked up his brush. Perhaps it was the deepening longing that caused his unconscious mind to conjure up memories of Amelia and move his hand.
“...”
Ivan hid the finished painting in this room as if it were one of his treasures. And on days when the child whined, missing his mother, he allowed him into this space to look at it.
“My eyes are black because I take after my mother!”
Just as he had hidden the fact that he missed Amelia, he couldn't teach his young son to hide it from him. He couldn't let Ian feel hurt because his eyes were different from Ivan's.
“I was really hiding, but Mrs. Howard found me!”
His longing gaze swept over Ian's radiant, honey-blonde hair, mirroring his, then moved upwards a little. Because the portrait hung higher than Ian's height, Amelia's face wasn't obscured by his body. But he imagined that one day, he would grow taller, and when he watched from behind, Amelia's face would be invisible.
He couldn't tell yet whether that day would be happy or sad. However, he figured that by then, even if Ian wasn't by his side, it wouldn't be a big deal.
Yes?
As if asking a question, Ivan met Amelia's eyes in the portrait. Her expressionless face offered no answer.
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