So Amelia decided to leave the others behind and return with Lure Chandler. Rodan, who had always been displeased with her, believed his words weren't a lie.
“This isn’t the continent.”
“You have black hair and black eyes, right?”
It was just after they disembarked. Amelia, seeing the sight before her, protested to Lure Chandler. The fog was thick and the weather was not particularly good, making the island's scenery dreary. However, Lure Chandler responded calmly, his face devoid of any remorse.
“And what His Majesty commanded me to do was to leave you on this island and return.”
So he pretended to be innocent. Even if he had intended to return with her, he couldn't leave the rest of them behind. They had been forced to make unnecessary sacrifices by the Russell family their entire lives.
“You lied to the Emperor!”
When Amelia screamed, Lure Chandler flinched. He was the world's greatest coward, a woman's scream startling him, as he had no use for distribution.
“What, what lie did I tell?”
“Are you going to leave me here?”
“Isn’t this paradise compared to being trapped underground?”
“You crazy bastard!”
Amelia hurled curses. Lure Chandler, watching Amelia's expression, began to move slowly to the side. He seemed determined to run and board the ship.
“Let’s go again. Let’s get to the right place!”
Amelia immediately grabbed his sleeve and shouted. With a thud, Lure Chandler's sleeve tore slightly. Lure Chandler looked down at Amelia with a disgusted expression.
“Let’s talk about this.”
It was difficult to believe that Amelia, dressed in the same clothes as everyone else, was the former Priestess. Perhaps because of this, Lure Chandler treated her with a half-disregard.
Lure Chandler nodded toward the ship. She knew it wasn't meant positively, but at least she wasn't being left behind on this land. Amelia hurriedly helped the others onto the ship.
It wasn't long before the uneasy voyage began again. A groan, a disturbing sound, and the fog thickened.
“...!”
There was a loud thud, followed by the sound of something hitting something hard. The ship shook violently. Everyone on deck simultaneously tumbled to one side. Amelia, who was practically rolling around on the ship, grabbed onto anything she could. Fortunately, her body stopped rolling and came to a stop.
But it wasn't a hopeful sign. The ship was already listing, and the statue on the bow was half-cracked.
Even before long, it was split in half, as if cut with a knife, and one fell into the sea. The ship began to tilt again. A splashing sound was heard, as if someone had fallen into the sea. Amelia instinctively moved her body in the opposite direction.
“Oh, Mom!”
Just then, a child's cry was heard. A child, no more than six or seven years old, was slipping and flailing near Amelia. It would have been easy to ignore it, but as a mother with children, she couldn't bring myself to do so.
Amelia reached out, barely grasping the child's fingertips, and used force to pull him in her direction.
“This fucking bitch!”
At that moment, Lure Chandler, who was hanging slightly higher than Amelia, kicked her hand. A sharp pain shot through her hand, causing it to go numb.
“Because of you, this, what is this...! Die!”
Lure Chandler hurled abuse at Amelia, then kicked the hook she was holding onto.
Amelia let out a pained groan. At the same time, the strength in her hands vanished. In an instant, her body slid along the tilted ship. In a flash, she was thrown into the strong current.
Amelia, still holding the child by the hand, held him close to her chest like a treasure, barely keeping his head above the water. Unable to overcome his fear, the child thrashed.
“No, please...”
It was a moment when Amelia was caught in the already violent whirlpool. Amelia pleaded, but the child seemed to be deaf. The moment Amelia let go of the child's body and gasped for breath, a violent wave struck her face. Her body was suddenly caught and sank beneath the surface.
“...”
It was then that she realized. What Amelia had been feeling was the sorrow and betrayal she felt at Ivan's deception. But she couldn't reveal it to him, so she buried it, buried it again and again. But the moment she defeated Duke Russell and Aaron, the helplessness and emptiness that came over her made it impossible to hide her feelings any longer.
I hate you. But I hate you even more because I love you.
That was the kind of resentment. It was a complaint about being too tired and not wanting to do anything. "Please understand how hard it is for me." That was the feeling. Now she understood. She didn't truly want to die. She never did.
“What’s the big deal? As if you’re certain I’ll come back.”
It was annoying that Ivan only replied with a "yes" when told to wait his whole life. "Why are you so peaceful?" she wanted to snap at him. So Amelia unnecessarily snapped at Ivan. Then Ivan quietly reached out and pulled Amelia into his arms.
“I don’t know my own heart either.”
The regular, calm beating of his heart calmed her anxious mind.
“I hated you, then I felt sorry for Ian, then I felt suspicious of your feelings, then I resented you for not being able to hold on to me properly, and now I hate myself for wandering around like this.”
Ivan said nothing, as if it were natural for him to hear Amelia's complaints.
"But I know you're right when you say you don't want to kill me because you hate me. At least that's what you really mean."
“...”
“So, please give me some time to think about what I really want in life.”
Ivan left a brief kiss on Amelia's ear. They held each other's hands, their heads pressed together like children, wishing only peace for their new life.
“If you ever want to come back, come back anytime.”
And when he thought Amelia was asleep, he made that wish. The man's longing touched her heart.
Ivan would want her to come back.
"Please."
She was going to go back.
“I wish you would come back.”
I'm sorry. I guess I was foolish and missed the opportunity.
The voice that had been pretending to beg and pleading grew distant from her ears. Soon, her vision became completely blurry.
Lure Chandler's ship had sunk and disappeared at sea. After hearing the news, Ivan spent a full day locked in the audience chamber. After that, he stayed in his bedroom, never leaving. Even when he heard voices of concern, he refused to drink a glass of water.
“His Majesty...”
“He said not to allow anyone to visit.”
Ivan sat on the floor next to the comfortable bed and sofa, and ignored the voices coming from outside the door.
“Understood. If His Majesty happens to come out, please tell him I came.”
“This isn’t the continent.”
“You have black hair and black eyes, right?”
It was just after they disembarked. Amelia, seeing the sight before her, protested to Lure Chandler. The fog was thick and the weather was not particularly good, making the island's scenery dreary. However, Lure Chandler responded calmly, his face devoid of any remorse.
“And what His Majesty commanded me to do was to leave you on this island and return.”
So he pretended to be innocent. Even if he had intended to return with her, he couldn't leave the rest of them behind. They had been forced to make unnecessary sacrifices by the Russell family their entire lives.
“You lied to the Emperor!”
When Amelia screamed, Lure Chandler flinched. He was the world's greatest coward, a woman's scream startling him, as he had no use for distribution.
“What, what lie did I tell?”
“Are you going to leave me here?”
“Isn’t this paradise compared to being trapped underground?”
“You crazy bastard!”
Amelia hurled curses. Lure Chandler, watching Amelia's expression, began to move slowly to the side. He seemed determined to run and board the ship.
“Let’s go again. Let’s get to the right place!”
Amelia immediately grabbed his sleeve and shouted. With a thud, Lure Chandler's sleeve tore slightly. Lure Chandler looked down at Amelia with a disgusted expression.
“Let’s talk about this.”
It was difficult to believe that Amelia, dressed in the same clothes as everyone else, was the former Priestess. Perhaps because of this, Lure Chandler treated her with a half-disregard.
“Alright, get in. At least it's a relief they're letting us off here. I guess it's good they're letting us look around.”
It wasn't long before the uneasy voyage began again. A groan, a disturbing sound, and the fog thickened.
“...!”
There was a loud thud, followed by the sound of something hitting something hard. The ship shook violently. Everyone on deck simultaneously tumbled to one side. Amelia, who was practically rolling around on the ship, grabbed onto anything she could. Fortunately, her body stopped rolling and came to a stop.
But it wasn't a hopeful sign. The ship was already listing, and the statue on the bow was half-cracked.
Even before long, it was split in half, as if cut with a knife, and one fell into the sea. The ship began to tilt again. A splashing sound was heard, as if someone had fallen into the sea. Amelia instinctively moved her body in the opposite direction.
“Oh, Mom!”
Just then, a child's cry was heard. A child, no more than six or seven years old, was slipping and flailing near Amelia. It would have been easy to ignore it, but as a mother with children, she couldn't bring myself to do so.
Amelia reached out, barely grasping the child's fingertips, and used force to pull him in her direction.
“This fucking bitch!”
At that moment, Lure Chandler, who was hanging slightly higher than Amelia, kicked her hand. A sharp pain shot through her hand, causing it to go numb.
“Because of you, this, what is this...! Die!”
Lure Chandler hurled abuse at Amelia, then kicked the hook she was holding onto.
Amelia let out a pained groan. At the same time, the strength in her hands vanished. In an instant, her body slid along the tilted ship. In a flash, she was thrown into the strong current.
Amelia, still holding the child by the hand, held him close to her chest like a treasure, barely keeping his head above the water. Unable to overcome his fear, the child thrashed.
“No, please...”
It was a moment when Amelia was caught in the already violent whirlpool. Amelia pleaded, but the child seemed to be deaf. The moment Amelia let go of the child's body and gasped for breath, a violent wave struck her face. Her body was suddenly caught and sank beneath the surface.
“...”
It was then that she realized. What Amelia had been feeling was the sorrow and betrayal she felt at Ivan's deception. But she couldn't reveal it to him, so she buried it, buried it again and again. But the moment she defeated Duke Russell and Aaron, the helplessness and emptiness that came over her made it impossible to hide her feelings any longer.
I hate you. But I hate you even more because I love you.
That was the kind of resentment. It was a complaint about being too tired and not wanting to do anything. "Please understand how hard it is for me." That was the feeling. Now she understood. She didn't truly want to die. She never did.
“What’s the big deal? As if you’re certain I’ll come back.”
It was annoying that Ivan only replied with a "yes" when told to wait his whole life. "Why are you so peaceful?" she wanted to snap at him. So Amelia unnecessarily snapped at Ivan. Then Ivan quietly reached out and pulled Amelia into his arms.
“I don’t know my own heart either.”
The regular, calm beating of his heart calmed her anxious mind.
“I hated you, then I felt sorry for Ian, then I felt suspicious of your feelings, then I resented you for not being able to hold on to me properly, and now I hate myself for wandering around like this.”
Ivan said nothing, as if it were natural for him to hear Amelia's complaints.
"But I know you're right when you say you don't want to kill me because you hate me. At least that's what you really mean."
“...”
“So, please give me some time to think about what I really want in life.”
Ivan left a brief kiss on Amelia's ear. They held each other's hands, their heads pressed together like children, wishing only peace for their new life.
“If you ever want to come back, come back anytime.”
And when he thought Amelia was asleep, he made that wish. The man's longing touched her heart.
Ivan would want her to come back.
"Please."
She was going to go back.
“I wish you would come back.”
I'm sorry. I guess I was foolish and missed the opportunity.
The voice that had been pretending to beg and pleading grew distant from her ears. Soon, her vision became completely blurry.
***
Lure Chandler's ship had sunk and disappeared at sea. After hearing the news, Ivan spent a full day locked in the audience chamber. After that, he stayed in his bedroom, never leaving. Even when he heard voices of concern, he refused to drink a glass of water.
“His Majesty...”
“He said not to allow anyone to visit.”
Ivan sat on the floor next to the comfortable bed and sofa, and ignored the voices coming from outside the door.
“Understood. If His Majesty happens to come out, please tell him I came.”
He knew Mrs. Howard was deliberately speaking loudly to attract attention, but he didn't want to pay any attention.
“...”
He felt good. He thought he had saved her life. He thought he had kept Amelia from dying. But the moment he realized it was all an illusion, he felt like everything had nothing to do with him.
So he just wanted to follow Amelia and die.
"Ah..."
It was already broken anyway. That's what he often thought when he felt the despair and tears that overtook him without warning.
Tears fell again. Ivan buried his face in his hands, his vision blurring. Tears fell helplessly. Unrefined thoughts swirled through his head and heart.
Was it because I was deeply confident that even if you left for a while, you would return to me? Or was it my fault?
Even the fleeting sadness and self-loathing were heartbreaking. The feeling of wanting to bite his tongue and die just kept flowing, never stopping.
He felt suffocated. Ivan gasped for breath, then ran to the bathroom, nausea welling up again. He'd swallowed nothing but water, and his stomach acid spilled out. His throat ached. Tears welled up, obscuring his vision.
But even this was painful, like the realization of being alive. He wanted to follow. Amelia, even though being with Ivan was painful, even though she felt like dying because she couldn't stand him, simply clung to his side, refusing to be separated.
“...”
Am I really going to die? Like this...
Ivan leaned listlessly against the bathroom wall, thinking. Everything that passed him by seemed meaningless, and now he really felt like it was okay.
"Your Majesty!"
At that moment, someone burst through Ivan's bedroom door with a loud noise. The rattling sound made it clear. Ivan blinked slowly. It was just when he thought even that wasn't a problem.
"Mother!"
“Stop being so stupid and come to your senses!”
“Mother, Your Majesty...!”
“Your child is dying!”
Mrs. Howard cursed in a sad voice.
“...”
He felt good. He thought he had saved her life. He thought he had kept Amelia from dying. But the moment he realized it was all an illusion, he felt like everything had nothing to do with him.
So he just wanted to follow Amelia and die.
"Ah..."
It was already broken anyway. That's what he often thought when he felt the despair and tears that overtook him without warning.
Tears fell again. Ivan buried his face in his hands, his vision blurring. Tears fell helplessly. Unrefined thoughts swirled through his head and heart.
Was it because I was deeply confident that even if you left for a while, you would return to me? Or was it my fault?
Even the fleeting sadness and self-loathing were heartbreaking. The feeling of wanting to bite his tongue and die just kept flowing, never stopping.
He felt suffocated. Ivan gasped for breath, then ran to the bathroom, nausea welling up again. He'd swallowed nothing but water, and his stomach acid spilled out. His throat ached. Tears welled up, obscuring his vision.
But even this was painful, like the realization of being alive. He wanted to follow. Amelia, even though being with Ivan was painful, even though she felt like dying because she couldn't stand him, simply clung to his side, refusing to be separated.
“...”
Am I really going to die? Like this...
Ivan leaned listlessly against the bathroom wall, thinking. Everything that passed him by seemed meaningless, and now he really felt like it was okay.
"Your Majesty!"
At that moment, someone burst through Ivan's bedroom door with a loud noise. The rattling sound made it clear. Ivan blinked slowly. It was just when he thought even that wasn't a problem.
"Mother!"
“Stop being so stupid and come to your senses!”
“Mother, Your Majesty...!”
“Your child is dying!”
Mrs. Howard cursed in a sad voice.
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