Episode 52. You've Grown Up So Much
Isabella lowered her head with a sullen expression.
There was a reason she only hung out with children of the much younger age of six or seven.
She didn't want to play hero in front of them and rely solely on Kassius's popularity.
However, the children her age, who were just beginning to learn about the world, didn't pay attention to her. They didn't listen to her, just gave her a cold stare.
'Isabella. Remember your family lineage. No one can break your pride. That is Lottera.'
She recalled her father's firm yet gentle voice.
Isabella clenched her fist.
"I am Lottera."
“Who says that? You know me so well?”
Isabella retorted in a trembling voice.
“Who says I ate well and lived well? Did you see that?”
Isabella took off the headband she was wearing and threw it on the floor.
“Hungry? I know. There was a time when my stomach was in such pain that I chewed on rocks. And once I peeled and ate trees! Do you know who cut this hair? Me. I had to act like a boy to survive! I lived comfortably like a Princess?”
Tears streamed down Isabella’s round cheeks.
The emotions she had been suppressing burst out indiscriminately, now that she was faced with the injustice.
Isabella’s voice grew louder.
Her hands ripped open the dress she was wearing, exposing the nape of her neck. Isabella turned again, exposing the wound on her back to the children.
“I almost died to get here!”
The children’s faces turned pale.
The maids caring for Isabella also turned pale and picked at her clothes.
Isabella shook them off.
“And you have a mother who combs and braids your hair!”
Isabella pointed a finger at a girl.
Once her emotions had erupted, they couldn't be contained.
It felt like they were spiraling out of control.
This feeling was unfamiliar. Isabella trembled in frustration.
“I don't even know if my parents are alive or dead! Do you know what it's like to die? I survived by hiding in a pile of corpses. Do you know what the smell of a rotting corpse is? Do you even know what it's like to die like this? You're the ones who don't know anything!!”
Isabella's face flushed bright red.
She gasped for breath.
"I originally had pink eyes. When I came back from the dead, my eyes changed color. Have you ever experienced something like that?"
"I, I..."
The children stuttered as they met Isabella's anger.
Their eyes, drawn back, were filled with fear.
No one had expected Isabella to react like this.
The maids quickly embraced the whining Isabella.
"Young lady, you can't do this...!"
"The lady will be upset."
Instead, the maids burst into tears.
The children exchanged glances with dejected faces.
"...I didn't know..."
"Adults don't usually tell you things like this. Just like I didn't know anything until right before I was separated from my mother and father."
Isabella muttered calmly.
The maids sniffled and straightened Isabella's clothes.
A child picked up the headband that Isabella had tossed to the floor.
The child hesitantly offered it to Isabella.
"...We didn't know."
Isabella snatched it away with a cold face.
Tears welled up in Isabella's eyes as she looked at the mess of her headband.
Isabella bit her lip.
"...I know you had a hard time, too. But no one should think for themselves. My aunt...my aunt had a hard time too. My grandparents passed away, and my parents are gone. No one is without hardship..."
The children nodded awkwardly. They had thought everything was because of Lottera.
They thought of things in fragments and didn't have access to as much knowledge as adults.
Having just entered their teens, they judged everything by their own standards.
Because of this, their anger and hatred were directed at Lottera.
Isabella wiped away her tears with her fist.
“...I thought we could be good friends. No, I still think so. My aunt said that in situations like this, we all need to pull together.”
Isabella bit her lip.
“I’m sorry, Isabella.”
The children burst into tears as well.
Their anxious and fearful emotions burst forth.
They had resented Isabella because she was the most easygoing.
The Duke and Duchess were too big for the children to even approach.
But wasn’t Isabella right next to them?
That’s why all the arrows were aimed at her.
Isabella completely understood the situation.
Why does she have to be the butt of the arrows?
Isabella swallowed her sorrow.
Isabella parted ways awkwardly with the children.
Renisha spotted Isabella trudging towards them, her strength drained.
Renisha tilted her head and called Isabella’s name.
“Isabella.”
“Aunt...?”
Isabella dropped the headband she was holding.
Sadness washed over her like a tidal wave.
Isabella ran to Renisha, leaving the fidgeting maids behind.
Isabella buried her face in Renisha’s skirt and burst into tears.
“Isabella? Why, what happened?”
Renisha’s voice rose in pitch.
“I, I... It wasn’t my fault... No one was at fault....”
Isabella stuttered as she confessed what had happened today.
Renisha gently stroked Isabella’s head.
“It wasn’t because of Lottera....”
Renisha patted Isabella’s back, trying to soothe the child’s sadness.
“You’re right, Isabella. You’re right. We did nothing wrong. We were the ones who had Hiloshine taken away from us, and Isabella didn't deserve it. But, Isabella, that's what it means to be a leader."
Renisha continued in a sing-song voice.
“Even if you do well, you get pointed at, and even if you don’t, you get cursed at. They need someone to blame.”
“Why, why?”
“Don’t you understand? Then, Isabella, who did you blame in your most terrifying moments?”
Isabella shook her head, tears streaming down her face.
“Didn’t you blame Mom and Dad? Why did they leave Isabella alone? Why weren’t they there?”
“...I don’t know...”
“That’s right, Isabella. It’s because they trusted. Just as Isabella believed that Mom and Dad would protect you, those kids believed that Lottera would protect them.”
“Loterra...”
“Hiloshine belonged to Lottera and lived with us for a long time. Lottera naturally protected Hiloshine.”
Isabella raised her head.
Renisha gently wiped Isabella's tears away.
"It's become so natural. To them, our protection."
"That seems strange."
"You don't have to know yet. What Auntie is trying to say is that you shouldn't hate them too much. They're so weak and need protection, and they were scared when that was good."
"That's strange too."
Isabella sobbed.
Renisha rubbed Isabella's tears away savagely.
"You're ugly. Our ugly potato."
"I'm not ugly!"
Isabella cried, sniffling but not giving in.
"Yes, let's understand, pretty Isabella. They're still young."
Isabella buried her face in Renisha's skirt again.
Renisha wrapped her arms around Isabella's shaking shoulders.
Renisha sighed secretly.
It bothered her that Isabella had learned things she didn't need to know so quickly.
Renisha's eyes were blurry.
Her heart ached.
It felt like her once-random and cute niece had grown up so quickly.
Renisha ruffled the child's hair.
"Crybaby."
"No!"
"Ugly."
"Not that either! Mom said I was the prettiest."
"Don't cry, Isabella."
Isabella hesitated and then nodded.
"Yeah..."
"This won't happen again. Auntie promised."
"I know."
The maids cleared their minds.
Renisha waved them away.
The crimson sunset was seeping into the land.
She wishes Isabella's tears would stop today.
And the tears of the children of Lottera, too.
After confirming that Isabella was asleep, Renisha left the room.
She felt sorry for Isabella, who was whining like a child, so she stayed by her side for a while, unable to leave the room.
“... Is she asleep?”
“Did you hear the story?”
Kassius nodded.
Kassius, who had been guarding Isabella's door, got up.
His expression was not bright because he had heard the story that happened outside from the maids.
Kassius, his face dark, sighed.
“Don’t make that face, Kassius. I’m too weak right now to comfort you.”
Kassius let out a hollow laugh.
“I came here to comfort Renisha!”
“...Our Kassius has grown a lot.”
Kassius rubbed his face. Renisha doesn’t change.
Isabella lowered her head with a sullen expression.
There was a reason she only hung out with children of the much younger age of six or seven.
She didn't want to play hero in front of them and rely solely on Kassius's popularity.
However, the children her age, who were just beginning to learn about the world, didn't pay attention to her. They didn't listen to her, just gave her a cold stare.
'Isabella. Remember your family lineage. No one can break your pride. That is Lottera.'
She recalled her father's firm yet gentle voice.
Isabella clenched her fist.
"I am Lottera."
Isabella nodded vigorously.
She ignored her and ran towards the children who were whispering among themselves.
Isabella summoned her courage and blocked their path.
“Tell me why.”
She raised her chin haughtily.
“If you must, I am of Lottera’s blood and the owner of this land. If you are to continue living on the land my family owns, you must listen to me.”
Isabella’s faded gray eyes gleamed firmly under the sunlight.
Actually, if she thought about it, this was nothing.
To get here, wasn’t Isabella having nearly died several times as a child?
Isabella clenched her small fists.
She didn’t want to rely on the adults who already looked busy.
Isabella should be able to handle this much.
“I’m speaking as Lottera. Tell me why.”
Isabella’s lips tightened to create an air of coercion.
Her eyes, imitating her father or grandfather, trembled slightly.
“You grew up eating and wearing only the best, just like a Princess.”
Isabella turned her head sharply.
“My brother starved to death while Lottera left us behind. But you ate well and lived well!!”
One child yelled.
“How can we get along with a Princess like you? Do you know what it means to be hungry?”
Another child shouted.
“Do you know what it means to die? Children don’t know anything, so they’ll go crazy over you! They’ll say, “Princess, Princess.” But we don’t! While you’re eating well and living well... our family...”
She ignored her and ran towards the children who were whispering among themselves.
Isabella summoned her courage and blocked their path.
“Tell me why.”
She raised her chin haughtily.
“If you must, I am of Lottera’s blood and the owner of this land. If you are to continue living on the land my family owns, you must listen to me.”
Isabella’s faded gray eyes gleamed firmly under the sunlight.
Actually, if she thought about it, this was nothing.
To get here, wasn’t Isabella having nearly died several times as a child?
Isabella clenched her small fists.
She didn’t want to rely on the adults who already looked busy.
Isabella should be able to handle this much.
“I’m speaking as Lottera. Tell me why.”
Isabella’s lips tightened to create an air of coercion.
Her eyes, imitating her father or grandfather, trembled slightly.
“You grew up eating and wearing only the best, just like a Princess.”
Isabella turned her head sharply.
“My brother starved to death while Lottera left us behind. But you ate well and lived well!!”
One child yelled.
“How can we get along with a Princess like you? Do you know what it means to be hungry?”
Another child shouted.
“Do you know what it means to die? Children don’t know anything, so they’ll go crazy over you! They’ll say, “Princess, Princess.” But we don’t! While you’re eating well and living well... our family...”
“Who says that? You know me so well?”
Isabella retorted in a trembling voice.
“Who says I ate well and lived well? Did you see that?”
Isabella took off the headband she was wearing and threw it on the floor.
“Hungry? I know. There was a time when my stomach was in such pain that I chewed on rocks. And once I peeled and ate trees! Do you know who cut this hair? Me. I had to act like a boy to survive! I lived comfortably like a Princess?”
Tears streamed down Isabella’s round cheeks.
The emotions she had been suppressing burst out indiscriminately, now that she was faced with the injustice.
Isabella’s voice grew louder.
Her hands ripped open the dress she was wearing, exposing the nape of her neck. Isabella turned again, exposing the wound on her back to the children.
“I almost died to get here!”
The children’s faces turned pale.
The maids caring for Isabella also turned pale and picked at her clothes.
Isabella shook them off.
“And you have a mother who combs and braids your hair!”
Isabella pointed a finger at a girl.
Once her emotions had erupted, they couldn't be contained.
It felt like they were spiraling out of control.
This feeling was unfamiliar. Isabella trembled in frustration.
“I don't even know if my parents are alive or dead! Do you know what it's like to die? I survived by hiding in a pile of corpses. Do you know what the smell of a rotting corpse is? Do you even know what it's like to die like this? You're the ones who don't know anything!!”
Isabella's face flushed bright red.
She gasped for breath.
"I originally had pink eyes. When I came back from the dead, my eyes changed color. Have you ever experienced something like that?"
"I, I..."
The children stuttered as they met Isabella's anger.
Their eyes, drawn back, were filled with fear.
No one had expected Isabella to react like this.
The maids quickly embraced the whining Isabella.
"Young lady, you can't do this...!"
"The lady will be upset."
Instead, the maids burst into tears.
The children exchanged glances with dejected faces.
"...I didn't know..."
"Adults don't usually tell you things like this. Just like I didn't know anything until right before I was separated from my mother and father."
Isabella muttered calmly.
The maids sniffled and straightened Isabella's clothes.
A child picked up the headband that Isabella had tossed to the floor.
The child hesitantly offered it to Isabella.
"...We didn't know."
Isabella snatched it away with a cold face.
Tears welled up in Isabella's eyes as she looked at the mess of her headband.
Isabella bit her lip.
"...I know you had a hard time, too. But no one should think for themselves. My aunt...my aunt had a hard time too. My grandparents passed away, and my parents are gone. No one is without hardship..."
The children nodded awkwardly. They had thought everything was because of Lottera.
They thought of things in fragments and didn't have access to as much knowledge as adults.
Having just entered their teens, they judged everything by their own standards.
Because of this, their anger and hatred were directed at Lottera.
Isabella wiped away her tears with her fist.
“...I thought we could be good friends. No, I still think so. My aunt said that in situations like this, we all need to pull together.”
Isabella bit her lip.
“I’m sorry, Isabella.”
The children burst into tears as well.
Their anxious and fearful emotions burst forth.
They had resented Isabella because she was the most easygoing.
The Duke and Duchess were too big for the children to even approach.
But wasn’t Isabella right next to them?
That’s why all the arrows were aimed at her.
Isabella completely understood the situation.
Why does she have to be the butt of the arrows?
Isabella swallowed her sorrow.
***
Isabella parted ways awkwardly with the children.
Renisha spotted Isabella trudging towards them, her strength drained.
Renisha tilted her head and called Isabella’s name.
“Isabella.”
“Aunt...?”
Isabella dropped the headband she was holding.
Sadness washed over her like a tidal wave.
Isabella ran to Renisha, leaving the fidgeting maids behind.
Isabella buried her face in Renisha’s skirt and burst into tears.
“Isabella? Why, what happened?”
Renisha’s voice rose in pitch.
“I, I... It wasn’t my fault... No one was at fault....”
Isabella stuttered as she confessed what had happened today.
Renisha gently stroked Isabella’s head.
“It wasn’t because of Lottera....”
Renisha patted Isabella’s back, trying to soothe the child’s sadness.
“You’re right, Isabella. You’re right. We did nothing wrong. We were the ones who had Hiloshine taken away from us, and Isabella didn't deserve it. But, Isabella, that's what it means to be a leader."
Renisha continued in a sing-song voice.
“Even if you do well, you get pointed at, and even if you don’t, you get cursed at. They need someone to blame.”
“Why, why?”
“Don’t you understand? Then, Isabella, who did you blame in your most terrifying moments?”
Isabella shook her head, tears streaming down her face.
“Didn’t you blame Mom and Dad? Why did they leave Isabella alone? Why weren’t they there?”
“...I don’t know...”
“That’s right, Isabella. It’s because they trusted. Just as Isabella believed that Mom and Dad would protect you, those kids believed that Lottera would protect them.”
“Loterra...”
“Hiloshine belonged to Lottera and lived with us for a long time. Lottera naturally protected Hiloshine.”
Isabella raised her head.
Renisha gently wiped Isabella's tears away.
"It's become so natural. To them, our protection."
"That seems strange."
"You don't have to know yet. What Auntie is trying to say is that you shouldn't hate them too much. They're so weak and need protection, and they were scared when that was good."
"That's strange too."
Isabella sobbed.
Renisha rubbed Isabella's tears away savagely.
"You're ugly. Our ugly potato."
"I'm not ugly!"
Isabella cried, sniffling but not giving in.
"Yes, let's understand, pretty Isabella. They're still young."
Isabella buried her face in Renisha's skirt again.
Renisha wrapped her arms around Isabella's shaking shoulders.
Renisha sighed secretly.
It bothered her that Isabella had learned things she didn't need to know so quickly.
Renisha's eyes were blurry.
Her heart ached.
It felt like her once-random and cute niece had grown up so quickly.
Renisha ruffled the child's hair.
"Crybaby."
"No!"
"Ugly."
"Not that either! Mom said I was the prettiest."
"Don't cry, Isabella."
Isabella hesitated and then nodded.
"Yeah..."
"This won't happen again. Auntie promised."
"I know."
The maids cleared their minds.
Renisha waved them away.
The crimson sunset was seeping into the land.
She wishes Isabella's tears would stop today.
And the tears of the children of Lottera, too.
***
After confirming that Isabella was asleep, Renisha left the room.
She felt sorry for Isabella, who was whining like a child, so she stayed by her side for a while, unable to leave the room.
“... Is she asleep?”
“Did you hear the story?”
Kassius nodded.
Kassius, who had been guarding Isabella's door, got up.
His expression was not bright because he had heard the story that happened outside from the maids.
Kassius, his face dark, sighed.
“Don’t make that face, Kassius. I’m too weak right now to comfort you.”
Kassius let out a hollow laugh.
“I came here to comfort Renisha!”
“...Our Kassius has grown a lot.”
Kassius rubbed his face. Renisha doesn’t change.
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