"Are you really confident that you won't regret it?"
Barcas asked in a tight voice.
I felt like if I hesitated even a little, he would shake me off and leave, so I nodded immediately.
The man, who had been staring through my eyes for a long time, finally stood up with one arm around my waist. I instinctively grabbed the hem of his clothes.
With a thud, two golden buttons that were close to his chest rolled to the floor. While I was inadvertently following it with my eyes, a fluffy sheet touched under my buttocks.
I looked up at him with anxious eyes. Placing my hand on the bed, Barcas slowly threw off his open top. The flickering light greedily licked his upper body, which had been trimmed like sculpture.
For a moment, my heart convulsed.
I hurriedly lowered my gaze. Wrapping his hands around my cheeks, Barcas forced me to raise my head and look at him.
"It's not too late. If you ask me to leave, I will quietly withdraw."
It was a question that tore away even the last remaining pride.
I glared at him with a force in my red eyes.
"My decision remains unchanged."
So please, stop asking.
As I swallowed the plea that had risen to my throat, his hand came down the nape of my neck. I stiffened.
Barcas, who was groping my sweaty skin with a cold gaze on my face as if it were a test, raised his hand to the button at the top of my cleavage. Then, as if giving me time to refuse, he dragged on for a long time and then slowly untied the loop.
Eventually, the hem of my dress opened and revealed the swollen cleavage.
Blue snow, which had sunk deeper than usual, fell on it. It felt like my heart was about to break my ribs and jump out of my body.
I, biting my lip in shame, hurriedly grabbed his wrist when Barcas lowered his hand with a second button.
"Light... Turn it all off."
He just stood still, looking down at me. I raised my voice at the look in his eyes that seemed to be looking into my inward self.
"Can't you hear me?"
Only then did Barcas slowly stand up and extinguish the candles placed all over the room.
A thick shadow hung over the room, and his outline faded. However, it was not dark enough to be satisfied.
I gestured to the fireplace.
"That too."
The man, who had been quietly watching me, approached the fireplace and lowered the cover.
Finally, darkness encroached on the room. I took a deep breath and squeezed out my muffled voice.
"Now.... Come here."
However, I didn't hear any signs of presence.
I, who had been scanning the darkness with my dilated pupils, plucked my lips pitifully
"Barcas... Uh, where are you?"
As the silence continued, the feeling of suffocation became stronger and stronger.
Could it be that he left me alone and disappeared?
I was breathing heavily in despair, and one side of the bed was sunken.
Finding his shadow, I hurriedly reached out.
I didn't have the luxury of saving face. I wrapped my arms around the long, taut nape of his neck and inhaled his body odor as if inhaling air. I had to make sure that I was not left alone in this darkness, that he was with me.
"Right now, hug me."
When the seizures finally subsided, I struggled to spit them out in his ear. The man, who had been as hard as a stone, lay me down on the bed.
I looked up at the dark shadow over me with squinting, trembling eyes. A startlingly hot hand fell on my ice-cold skin.
While I was angry and curled up at the hand that grabbed the front of my dress, the hem of my skirt curled up above my waist.
Noticing that he was trying to strip me of my clothes, I shouted hysterically.
"Oh, no! Don't take it off!"
The black shadow hanging over my head instantly stopped all movement.
I grabbed his wrist and added urgently.
"Just stay dressed."
"...Are you trying to scare me away?"
A muffled voice echoed in my ears.
I barely swallowed the sobs that were about to go up my throat.
"It's not intimidation. Just... It's just, this is the way I want it to be."
I would not be able to withstand his touch without hiding myself in the darkness and in my shabby dress.
I swallowed the back of the word and pulled his shoulder with all my might. After stiffening for a moment, Barcas let out a heavy breath and climbed up on top of me.
Soon after, a wet tongue squeezed between my lips. As I habitually sucked in the flesh that penetrated deep into my throat, his hot breath filled my lungs.
It felt like breathing in the flames. The dizzying heat pulled my neck even harder, and I felt a large hand squeeze between my thighs.
I hurriedly spread my knees, fearing that his hand would touch my leg. His long, hard fingers went straight down to the sensitive area. In an instant, an unexpected disgust rose up my back.
I hurriedly spat out his tongue and shook my head sharply.
"Well, I don't like that. Don't do it."
"If you don't let me go, you might get hurt."
A soothing voice drifted in my ears.
I shook my head even more vigorously.
"Hey, it's okay, so just do it."
"...Not until you are fully prepared."
Barcas muttered in a low voice to my ear and slowly began to move his fingers.
I shrank in my stomach and drove my nails into his marble-hard shoulders. The pores all over my body opened, and a cold sweat flowed down my body.
It was horrible that he was touching my dirtiest parts. In fact, I didn't even want him to know that I had such an ugly part of my body.
I, who was trembling, soon lost my patience and stiffened my voice in a rough voice.
"Hey, that's it. It's done... Just do it."
"Not yet."
"No more... I don't want to wait. Please do it quickly."
If I drag on more time here, I might let go of the strings of consciousness. Just as I was about to spit it out, I felt the rigid muscles surrounding his body contract all at once.
After a while, she heard the sound of his belt being unfastened, and my tightened waist fell between his thighs. I tensed my whole body like a bowstring.
I felt a heavy pressure from below. I instinctively pulled my hips back, but the pressure became more and more Intense.
I opened my mouth unknowingly at the feeling of being crushed in my stomach. There were no screams. I clucked my mouth silently like a fish on the shore, then put his name on the tip of my tongue and rolled it.
Barcas, Barcas, Barcas.
Like the drowning man repeated his name over and over again with a feeling of grasping at straws, he pushed deeper and deeper.
The pain that seemed to tear my body eventually burst into a violent sob. Hearing the sound, Barcas finally stopped entering.
In my vision, which had become accustomed to the darkness, I faintly saw a face that seemed to be enduring something terrible.
At that moment, a pain that surpassed the pain of the body weighed on my heart. The expression on his face, as if he was enduring even the pain of suffering, was a hundred times more painful than the act of digging into my stomach.
I suppressed the cry that was tangled in my throat and bit my lip.
Please don't give that impression.
Don't look so disgusted.
As I swallowed the words that were only swirling in my mouth, the man who had been giving me a flimsy look slowly leaned back.
Realizing that he was about to stop, I hugged his back like a cling.
"No. Don't stop here."
There is no need to be miserable. There is no need to suffer. I am only using him for my own purposes.
I, who had been thinking to myself, lifted my waist in pain.
As the loose bond deepened, my sweaty body became entangled. At the same time, a sound like grinding teeth was heard, followed by a rather crude rhythm.
I desperately endured his gesture. My lower stomach gradually became hot, as if I was holding a lump of metal on fire.
That was so strange. A person's body that is only as cold as ice can be so hot.
I, who was gasping for breath as I hugged his sturdy body slippery with sweat, inadvertently scraped off his stiff and swollen back muscles.
My vision shook dizzily as the movement gradually accelerated.
I wondered how long it would take to be swept away by the rough current like a shipwrecked piece, and the gesture that had become more and more rough finally reached the end.
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