There was no time to react.
Surprised, a honey-thick liquid flowed into the gap with a slippery tongue.
I, who expected a bitter taste that made my stomach ache, opened my eyes to an unexpectedly sweet flavor.
The sweet liquid with the scent of flowers gently wrapped around my tongue. When I swallowed what had settled in my mouth, the lump of flesh that was pressing on the tip of my tongue slowly escaped.
"You just skipped dinner."
A reproachful voice tickled my swollen skin.
I looked up at the face in front of my nose with a puzzled expression.
Since I started kissing him under the pretext of asking for medicine, I have been kissing him almost every night, but this was the first time he kissed me first.
No, to be precise, this is the second time.
I blushed as I recalled my confused first night.
Barcas, who was staring at me, ran his calloused thumb over the corner of my mouth.
"Give you more?"
His heart convulsed at the whispering voice.
I fell from him angrily, like a man on fire.
"What did you feed me?"
At the question, I fumbled, he winked and pointed to the shelf next to the bed. There was a small silver kettle and a bowl of various fruits.
"It is a drink made by fermenting goat's milk. Dongwals often eat it as a breakfast substitute."
My mind, which was confused by the monotonous explanation, became even more complicated. However, he looked calm, as if feeding me food by mouth was not a big deal.
Maybe it may really be so.
Just as he gave me medicine with his mouth while I insisted on not taking medicine, he may have just taken care of my meals. Yes, I'm sure that's the case.
Isn't he a solid man, even if something goes wrong? Just as he did for Aila, this time he is adapting to my needs.
I, who tried to calm my mind, looked cold.
"Who fed you at the meal?"
His eyes narrowed at the sharp voice.
However, he did not show any signs of being offended. Barcas, caressing his chin with a thoughtful expression, brought a tray in front of me.
"Well, eat it yourself."
Then he got up from his seat and walked to the window. I watched him take water from the basin and wipe his face and throat, then lowered my gaze to the tray.
Suddenly, I felt the urge to squeeze my tongue.
If I insisted that I didn't want to eat it, he would have fed it to me. With such a humble thought, I picked up a piece of bread.
It was hot, as if it had been freshly baked. While shredding the steaming and pushing it into my mouth little by little, Barcas, who had changed into new clothes, returned to bed.
"Is the meal not to your liking?"
Seeing the piece of bread I had laid in my egg, Barcas frowned and asked.
I hesitated for a moment and then shook my head.
"It's just worth eating."
"Well, eat properly. Stop cooking like someone who has a grudge against food."
I raised the corners of my eyes at the tone that seemed to be a child in a tricky situation.
I thought I was going to eat it, thinking about what was in it. However, when I met hia watchful eyes, the thorny horses crawled back into my throat.
Perhaps, he brought it himself for me. I didn't want to offend him with my performance.
I eventually picked up a small piece of bread that looked like it had been fried in oil.
I closed my eyes tightly, took a big bite, and chewed the hot meat with spices.
I felt nauseous for a moment.
The taste of the fatty meat itself was not a problem. However, the fact that I put unknown food in my mouth caused a strong sense of rejection.
What kind of meat is it? It's not like a lizard, a bat, or a frog. When I crushed the mushy flesh with my teeth, something crispy chewed into it. It seemed to be a nut. Do you know? Maybe it's like a bug. The finely minced meat was mixed with all kinds of ingredients that looked like they had been fried in oil.
I thought there might be a messy foreign object in it, and my stomach twisted painfully.
I, who was mechanically moving my jaw as if chewing mud, couldn't stand the disgust and just swallowed what was in my mouth.
Seeing this, Barcas quickly poured water into the cup and handed it to me.
"Drink."
I hurriedly accepted the glass.
When I inhaled the ice-cold water, the food that had blocked my throat went down my esophagus.
It was as if I had swallowed a stone. I shuddered at the unpleasant foreign body sensation, but I heard a voice mixed with sighs from above my head.
"That terrible eating habit can't be cured at all."
I looked up at him with surprised eyes.
I was a little embarrassed because I had never thought about what I was eating or that he would care.
"It's just... It's because I don't have a taste today."
The words I uttered as an excuse made his eyes wrinkle. He seemed to know that I ate less than the abstinent priests.
Barcas, who let out a small sigh again, poured a drink made from goat's milk and handed it to me.
"I would like to gradually increase the amount of food that can be eaten. You can't live on honey and fruit forever."
I, who was staring up at the man who was nagging me inappropriately, accepted the glass with a reluctant face.
When I forced myself to swallow the liquid that filled the cup, he pushed the tray aside.
"I'm going to call a maid, so get ready to leave soon."
While he left, I took the help of my nanny to wash myself lightly and took out my clean new clothes to put on.
I had a new bandage yesterday evening, so I didn't think I would need to call a healer.
With a fur coat draped over my shoulders, I shook off my nanny's support and went out alone.
The weather was very sunny.
Looking up at the cloudless sky, I lowered my gaze and looked around the peaceful village scenery.
I saw horses out of the saddle grazing on a wide meadow. The cavalrymen who had returned from the subjugation were gathering in an empty clearing and eating.
As I was about to pass them and head to the carriage, I suddenly stopped.
A long pole erected not far away came into view.
I inadvertently raised my head and stiffened my back as I faced the large head hanging from the end.
When I saw his gray face, it was as if all the blood had been poured out of my body. My stomach, which had been overworked since morning, twisted in pain.
I covered my mouth with my sleeve.
It seemed that the food I had forcibly pushed in would flow back up immediately. Still, I couldn't take my eyes off his face, distorted with fear.
Public executions were regularly carried out in the capital, but this was the first time I had actually seen a body beheaded.
I stared into his clouded pupils with strange curiosity. I thought that maybe I could get a glimpse of hell through it.
According to the doctrine, unclean beings fall into a pit of fire. And as an unclean being, there was a high probability that he would go to hell.
If possible, I wanted to preview the world I would go to after death.
Just as I was thinking about it in a daze, a strong forearm blocked my vision.
I turned my head.
Barcas was looking down at me with an indescribable expression.
It wasn't just Barcas. I was terrified to look at the beheaded corpse as if it were enchanted, and everyone was looking at me with reluctance.
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