My eyes, which had been closed as if I were drowning in sweet water, sparkled. How much did I sleep? My whole body was still in a daze. Of course, it wasn't just because of sleep.
From head to toe, fingertips and toes, all peripheral nerves seemed to be still alive and breathing. The strange sensation that made my ears deaf was gone, but I still felt like my heart was beating all over my body.
I looked into my palm without realizing it. In the darkness, it was the same as the small, thin, and smooth hand it used to be.
It was an experience where I felt like I was completely pulled out and made into something new. But I was still here, as it was. And Brandt, too.
I heard Brandt's even breathing behind me. I let out a strange and easy breath and closed my eyes again.
'Was it too much...'
He kissed and looked at me gently, but his body was violent and merciless. I was like a piece of a ship rocking aimlessly between this huge gap. These capricious waves dragged the ship to Wonderland. To the world of sensations that are more burdensome than simply painful.
'But it wasn't bad.'
The exhilarating pain still remained, but the excessive sweetness that came after it made me enjoy even the pain.
"Edita..."
Brandt's deeply submerged voice was heard behind me. I quickly held my breath so as not to find out what I had woken up.
"Are you sleeping?... Yes, you must be sleeping."
Seeing Brandt's breath coming from above. It seemed like he was looking down at my face.
'Haven't you slept yet?'
Brandt hugged me from behind. My delicate flesh touched his bare body. And the sadness soon turned into warmth.
He silently rubbed his cheek against the nape of my neck and back. Even though his huge body temperature enveloped me, he was like a boy who was desperate for affection.
My heart was strange. I have to say it's a big deal. Behind me, he looked like a nice man, a reckless child, and a lovely animal.
Drunk by his body temperature, I fell back into the world of sweet sleep. I felt his lips touching and falling on the nape of my neck in my vague consciousness.
***
04. Betrayal of interest rates
When I woke up to the call of the warm morning sun, there was no one sitting next to me.
Was it a dream?
"Ouch."
As I tossed and turned with a hazy aura, every corner of my body screamed in unison, loudly informing me that it was not a dream.
The texture of the fabric that touched my skin was soft and clean. As if he had wiped it off while I slept, my clean body was covered with the underwear he had taken off last night.
...And the spring painting book on the bookshelf was missing.
'You know that too.'
My embarrassed heart yesterday!
Still, I left some blue jewel eggs behind and took them with me. I laughed and stood up involuntarily, and I groaned at the violent pain that made my muscles all over my body seem to be in a tug-of-war with each other. The memory of last night, which had been recognized only as I did it. I did it in my vague memory, which began to come to my mind with vivid colors.
Pain, strange and strange feelings, moans and tears... I was in a state of panic. Yesterday, I did that 'work' that I couldn't do in my life, which was neither long nor short.
'That's with that man too...'
What will happen to me now? The feeling of yesterday's fragments covered my skin again. In addition, I couldn't hold my head straight because I remembered the embarrassing reactions of yesterday. I grabbed my head and lay down on the bed again.
"Ugh!"
I should have laying down slowly! When I lay down as if I was about to collapse, my muscles cried out that I didn't notice.
"How...I see that face again."
As I lay down on the blanket and looked at the ceiling, I was devastated. Instead of doing this, I should have changed my clothes quickly and pretended to be fine.
As I got out of bed, I screamed and collapsed as my feet touched the carpet.
'Is this a human body, is it?'
As I crouched down, my face suddenly turned bright red with embarrassment. As I moved my feet, the place that had been dull began to feel bitter. It was an embarrassing pain that was hard to say that it hurt, even though it hurt.
I tried to get up again by the bed, but my legs didn't have any strength and my knees bent.
"Legs, why are my legs like this?"
Fear rushed over me. It was as if my body was not mine. I felt like a mermaid. The legendary woman suffered as if she had been stabbed in the leg every time she walked. After that, the woman's life changed completely.
I was lying on the ground, helpless, when the door suddenly opened. The maids rushed in and cheered me on.
"Ma'am, are you okay?"
"It's okay... I don't know."
As I spoke, tears streamed down my cheeks, perhaps because of pain and fear. I was embarrassed and quickly wiped it off, but the maid's expressions were no longer playful.
"The Duke told us to wait because the lady will need us this morning."
You mean he said that to the maids? My ears became hot because I was embarrassed. No, it's natural to have a couple's first night, but if you say this, it seems like you're talking about it openly everywhere.
The maids didn't seem to care about my physical condition or tears, and didn't seem to care about these embarrassing situations. They helped me change clothes with a thoroughly businesslike attitude.
"Oh!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am!"
It seems that the touch of a maid who was dressing me was inadvertently exerting strength. She fell down in front of me in fear. I was the one who was more surprised by the reaction.
"It's okay, so get up."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
The maid stood up and bowed her back. I tried to grab her up, but I fell down screaming again. The maids rushed at me in fear.
I still didn't realize that I had become Brandt's wife, the Duchess. I had spent the entire second day of their marriage alone in the Duchess's room. This was no different from being locked up in a villa.
Except for the pain all over my body.
'Ugh, I'm embarrassed.'
Because I was so grunting, the doctor also came to visit me, but I didn't dare to talk to the male doctor, so I ended up sending him back. He took turns saying.
"Don't do anything else, just rest well today."
Thanks to this, except for washing, everything was done in the Duchess's room and the attached parlor. At other times, I read boring books that I thought I would never read, or brought a chair by the window to enjoy the scenery outside.
From the room, I could see the lake adjacent to the mansion. The dense greenery around the lake swayed, reflected in the lake's water. The garden was so huge that when I looked out from the balcony, I felt like I was in a corner of the countryside. But it's only an hour or two to appreciate it.
"I'm bored."
The maids took good care of me, but soon boredom came over me. It was a different feeling from simple emptiness. My mood was strangely high all day. At the end of his unfocused gaze, Brandt's face came to mind. His seemingly Indifferent expression gradually changed from last night's...
"Ugh!"
I shook my head in fear.
"Why do you think this?"
As if to save me from being confused, someone knocked on the bedroom door.
"Ma'am, this is the chief maid, Kreisel."
"Come in."
Kreisel led a few maids into the room. They were holding a box stacked on a beam.
"What is that?"
"This is a gift from the Duke to the lady to commemorate the marriage."
"Coma... Is it the same?"
"No, it is not. He sent it separately."
I was puzzled when I heard that Brandt had sent me a separate gift.
"This is so universally romantic? That man does this?"
Krezel placed the box on the table and untied the cloth. There was a jade-like white and shiny ark in it.
"Is this my gift?"
"Let's open it."
I thought that the beautiful ark itself was a gift, but I was a little hesitant by Kreisel's firm words. When I quickly opened the chest, a necklace with jewels was revealed inside. Hesitation and embarrassment were all melted into the light.
"Would you mind if you didn't wear it around your neck now? If you don't like it, I can change it..."
"No, I don't. I love it so much. Please tell him that I like it."
"Wouldn't it be better for you to speak to him directly?"
Kreisel's advice made me feel ashamed. She was right a hundred times. I have to express my gratitude to him myself.
After Kreisel and the maids left, I looked at the glowing necklace for a long time. This is the first time I've seen anything like this in my life. It was a mysterious gem that could be seen transparent, blue, or red depending on the direction of view.
"Where did you buy this?"
I am a stranger to jewelry, but I could tell that this necklace was not an ordinary necklace. It was not at all within the scope of giving and receiving everyday gifts.
'Is it a tradition here to give gifts to your wife after the first night? But I've never heard of such a thing...'
At that time, I heard people's voices over the balcony. My ears perked up at the lively surroundings. I carefully led my aching body back to the balcony.
Brandt and his servants were dragging their horses back on the green grass beyond the lake. He left early in the morning and was now returning home. The horse that Brandt rode was black, but its fur was so well trimmed that it seemed that sunlight was reflected on the horse's body.
Both the horse and Brandt, who led the horse, moved steadily. Maybe that's why Brandt's magnificent body on the horse stood out even more. My eyes naturally touched his thighs. I knew the strong muscles hidden under the black cotton fabric. Last night, I could feel his voluptuous thighs, which were burning like a heart in my memory.
Brandt, who was driving his horse into the Interior from across the lakeshore, smiled coolly. It was fascinating.
'You know how to laugh like that.'
It was a smile like a cool stream of water sprayed on a hot summer day. If he had smiled like that at me, my thoughts would have vaguely flown into the wind. A thirst that I didn't know where it came from tickled my throat.
I took turns looking at the butler, Malcolm, and the brown-haired maid I had never seen in the drawing room attached to the room.
"Direct maid?"
Malcolm, a butler with a cool mustache, rubbed the ends of his beard with his index finger and thumb, as if he couldn't stand it.
"Betty is a maid who was close to you when she was a lady, so it will be of great help to you to adjust to life in the mansion."
Were you close to me?
Now I was not surprised when I thought about it. Instead, I made up my mind that to live in this world, I had to practice how to make a calm expression even though I didn't have memories.
First of all, this time it is a failure. I looked at Betty with wide-eyed eyes, and she greeted me politely.
"Betty volunteered to help you personally. She is good at her job and has a calm personality, so it will be very helpful to have you by your side for the time being. Of course, in addition to Betty, there will be a maid who will be in charge of the lady's makeup, leisure, meals, bathing, etc."
I was grateful that they even supported me, and I smiled at Betty awkwardly. Betty, who had her brown hair tied up in two prongs like a girl and made a circle, couldn't hide her joy at my smile.
"Ma'am, thank you very much. I can't help but feel so happy to see you again."
"I'm happy to see you again. I will be very indebted to you in the future."
"It's a debt. That's unreasonable."
It was an attitude that put a kind of wall around it. However, there was also a difference in status between the mistress and the maid, and Betty also thought it was because of her original personality.
At that point, I asked the butler what I was really curious about.
"But... Madame Marie, so when will my nanny arrive? She decided to come to the mansion the day after the wedding."
"Oh. if it's her..."
Malcolm stopped his thumb and index finger from twisting his mustache. Then he hid his hands behind his back. The movement was suspicious. I was so nervous that my palms were sweating.
"Your nanny does not come to the mansion."
"Yes?"
Malcolm rolled his eyes in embarrassment.
"The Duke sent a letter to the imperial palace saying that the lady's nanny did not need to come to the palace. Of course, the nanny is paid a mansion where she can live on her own and a sufficient salary every month. Also, the lower..."
"This is ridiculous!"
Malcolm and Betty froze like ice at the shouts I let out without realizing it. When I saw the two of them, surprised and frightened, I came back to my senses. I put my hands around my neck and said.
"I, I'm sorry. Without me knowing..."
"No, it is not. I fully understand. But from now on, you must act resolutely as a Duchess."
Malcolm's soft yet firm words made my head spin quickly. I'm sorry, and I couldn't break up with Madam Marie in such a way that I was notified. Madame Marie was the first person I met when I woke up here, and the first person I relied on. In other words, she was like a mother who gave birth to me and raised me in this world. Her absence was a big event for me.
The moment I jumped up from my seat, my whole body hurt as if I were crying again. Betty held me in the middle of the night.
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