At first, I waited for Callius, wondering if the various things Lamia had told me were really possible.
Until then, I just felt embarrassed and ashamed.
'Does that really happen?'
I couldn't believe it.
If that was really the first night, I wanted to postpone it a little.
But as time passed and Callius didn't return until late, I began to recall, in the stream of consciousness, my first night with Viscount Pelsus.
All I could remember were terrible memories.
I shuddered, but I couldn't stop thinking.
Painful memories tend to remain stronger and more vivid than good memories and torment people.
'What if Callius acts like Viscount Pelsus?'
The fear that had already taken over me amplified my negative thoughts.
"What if Callius realizes I'm a stuffy person and turns on me? What if he gets angry and says I don't know anything about sleeping?"
As the wait got longer, all sorts of bad thoughts started to creep in, with the word 'what if' at the forefront.
Meanwhile, Callius did not appear.
I felt increasingly strange.
"Why isn't he coming? Without any contact. He must know this is our first night together."
It wasn't that I had been desperately waiting for Callius to come, but I never imagined that he would show up without saying anything on the first day of the union.
I pulled the blanket up to my neck, feeling cold even though the fire was burning brightly in the fireplace.
The cold that had plagued me last night was starting to come back again.
I was completely lost, fighting the cold, fear, and anxiety all by myself.
Eventually, I became so absorbed in negative and extreme thoughts that I even felt a psychological distance from Callius.
As the dawn deepened, it became even more so.
"He doesn't respect me either. If he doesn't come to bed on our first day of union, the castle staff will start gossiping about it again."
Since the people of Ronheim are all on Callius' side, there will surely be wild speculation that I have done him a great wrong and that he has abandoned me.
'I thought we were close, but it turns out we were just strictly business partners.'
As I was thinking about that, it suddenly occurred to me that maybe he didn't show up in the room because he wanted to avoid me.
'Have I done something terribly wrong? Have I offended him? Is he angry that I ordered them to gather vermis mushrooms without consulting him? Have I done something I shouldn't have done?'
As I fell into the swamp of depression, my thoughts became more and more extreme.
I became uncontrollably discouraged.
Fear breeds anxiety, and anxiety breeds self-destruction.
Rational thinking is only possible when the mind is strong.
I suffered from not being able to stop negative thoughts, even though I objectively recognized that I was still not strong enough to be caught up in all these arrogant thoughts.
"Ah, why am I like this? I could just ignore it. I could think I've taken up a comfortable bed. Why can't I?"
I lay on my side, hugged my knees, and snuggled into the blanket.
What I was feeling right now was extreme loneliness.
'I wish someone were by my side.'
I needed someone who would understand me and comfort me without me having to say anything.
Someone who will reassure me so that I don't feel anxious.
I shivered under the blanket for a long time.
But then, someone called me in a small voice, and I was startled and threw back the blanket.
“Chloe!”
“Who, who...!”
I noticed the door to my room was slightly ajar.
A welcoming face appeared through the small gap that was about a span wide.
"Karl!"
I couldn't believe it.
It was a real Karl.
He really did follow me all the way to Ronheim.
I quickly got up and left the shared bedroom.
Karl greeted me with a big smile.
“How was it? It came sooner than I thought. Did you wait long?”
I was so surprised that Karl magically appeared in front of me that I ran to him and hugged him.
He must have been hit by snow, for the snow on his head and shoulders was melting and forming water droplets that he couldn't shake off, and his small body was frozen solid.
“Oh my goodness, you really came! You really came!”
“I left a note saying I’d follow you. Didn’t you see it?”
"I saw it! I saw it, but the road was so rough that I was worried you wouldn't be able to make it alone. I was worried you'd give up and turn back..."
Karl smiled warmly, lifted his crow's foot, and stroked my head.
“You idiot, I promised. Have you ever seen me break a promise?”
I hugged his small body and burst into tears.
My one and only Karl.
It was a deep, deep relief to see him again.
It was around noon the next day when Callius left the synagogue.
Callius, who had not realized how much time had passed because all the windows in the synagogue were covered with thick curtains, was surprised when he heard the time from Mainz.
'I've been locked up in the synagogue for so long.'
As worried as Chloe was, he was desperate to find records of his mother having broken the curse.
So, time passed by like this while he was frantically searching through all the records in the synagogue.
“Did you find the record?”
Callius shook his head heavily at Mainz's question.
“There is no record of the curse anywhere.”
“Don’t worry too much, there are many other places besides the synagogue where records about the Saint are kept.”
Mainz comforted Callius.
Callius raised an eyebrow in puzzlement, reading the joy Mainz couldn't hide.
"You don't look like someone offering comfort. Something good must be happening, Mainz."
“I’m sorry. I was so reckless that I stopped...”
Mainz lowered his head as if he were ashamed.
Callius came out of the synagogue, worried and without any gain, yet he could not hide his joy.
But what can he do when he feels that good?
Mainz couldn't help but laugh, even though he was reproaching himself.
“What’s going on, Mainz?”
“That’s right, yesterday the madam asked me to do something amazing!”
“Amazing?”
Mainz took out the Vermis mushrooms he had carefully wrapped in a handkerchief and put in his pocket, and showed them to Callius.
“What is this?”
“It’s called a Vermis mushroom.”
Mainz reported to Callius in detail what Chloe had instructed him to do yesterday.
“...So, thinking that it was better to lose than to gain, I sent out herbalist gatherers to find something that looked like this, and boy, did the herbalist gatherers really find the Vermis mushroom!”
In fact, Mainz did not completely believe Chloe's words.
That's understandable, because in over 60 years of living in Rondheim, he's never seen a Vermis mushroom.
Mainz was quite knowledgeable about herbs.
This was because, under the teachings of his father, who was an assassin, he had studied poisons and herbs with Granada from a very young age.
Even if something called a Vermis mushroom actually existed, he thought it was certain that it wasn't in Ronheim.
However, herbalists went to the terrain Chloe had mentioned and actually found and brought back vermis mushrooms.
Even a lot.
“According to the madam, these are so precious in the south that they sell for a single gold coin.”
"Yes?"
Mainz's eyes sparkled.
"Yes! My lady suggested we sell these to solve Ronheim's food shortage! I told her I'd collected a lot of them, and she told me to report this to you immediately."
She wasn't trying to profit from the information she had, but rather to solve Ronheim's food problem.
Callius was startled by the unexpected report.
How could Chloe, who had only been in Ronheim for so long, have thought of something like that?
Even the Ronheim people were rude to Chloe.
“I really didn’t know that Madam would care so much about Ronheim’s welfare.”
Mainz was so excited that he was spitting as if he was about to start dancing.
"With this amount, every citizen of Ronheim will have enough food to last them through the winter! Then, no citizen will suffer starvation this winter!"
Even in summer, winters in Ronheim were extremely harsh, with snowstorms hitting at dawn.
Hunting was also difficult because most animals were hibernating.
In the winter of Ronheim, there were always people who died of hunger.
Callius was delighted with Mainz and asked for Chloe's location.
“Where is my wife now?”
Then, suddenly, he remembered that the servants must have cleaned the Marchioness's room last night, so Chloe must have changed rooms, so he asked urgently.
“Did my wife move to her room?”
“Yes, she slept in the shared bedroom last night.”
"Oh my god."
Callius touched his forehead.
'I didn't go in without saying anything, so people might misunderstand that I didn't come on purpose.'
Until then, I just felt embarrassed and ashamed.
'Does that really happen?'
I couldn't believe it.
If that was really the first night, I wanted to postpone it a little.
But as time passed and Callius didn't return until late, I began to recall, in the stream of consciousness, my first night with Viscount Pelsus.
All I could remember were terrible memories.
I shuddered, but I couldn't stop thinking.
Painful memories tend to remain stronger and more vivid than good memories and torment people.
'What if Callius acts like Viscount Pelsus?'
The fear that had already taken over me amplified my negative thoughts.
"What if Callius realizes I'm a stuffy person and turns on me? What if he gets angry and says I don't know anything about sleeping?"
As the wait got longer, all sorts of bad thoughts started to creep in, with the word 'what if' at the forefront.
Meanwhile, Callius did not appear.
I felt increasingly strange.
"Why isn't he coming? Without any contact. He must know this is our first night together."
It wasn't that I had been desperately waiting for Callius to come, but I never imagined that he would show up without saying anything on the first day of the union.
I pulled the blanket up to my neck, feeling cold even though the fire was burning brightly in the fireplace.
The cold that had plagued me last night was starting to come back again.
I was completely lost, fighting the cold, fear, and anxiety all by myself.
Eventually, I became so absorbed in negative and extreme thoughts that I even felt a psychological distance from Callius.
As the dawn deepened, it became even more so.
"He doesn't respect me either. If he doesn't come to bed on our first day of union, the castle staff will start gossiping about it again."
Since the people of Ronheim are all on Callius' side, there will surely be wild speculation that I have done him a great wrong and that he has abandoned me.
'I thought we were close, but it turns out we were just strictly business partners.'
As I was thinking about that, it suddenly occurred to me that maybe he didn't show up in the room because he wanted to avoid me.
'Have I done something terribly wrong? Have I offended him? Is he angry that I ordered them to gather vermis mushrooms without consulting him? Have I done something I shouldn't have done?'
As I fell into the swamp of depression, my thoughts became more and more extreme.
I became uncontrollably discouraged.
Fear breeds anxiety, and anxiety breeds self-destruction.
Rational thinking is only possible when the mind is strong.
I suffered from not being able to stop negative thoughts, even though I objectively recognized that I was still not strong enough to be caught up in all these arrogant thoughts.
"Ah, why am I like this? I could just ignore it. I could think I've taken up a comfortable bed. Why can't I?"
I lay on my side, hugged my knees, and snuggled into the blanket.
What I was feeling right now was extreme loneliness.
'I wish someone were by my side.'
I needed someone who would understand me and comfort me without me having to say anything.
Someone who will reassure me so that I don't feel anxious.
I shivered under the blanket for a long time.
But then, someone called me in a small voice, and I was startled and threw back the blanket.
“Chloe!”
“Who, who...!”
I noticed the door to my room was slightly ajar.
A welcoming face appeared through the small gap that was about a span wide.
"Karl!"
I couldn't believe it.
It was a real Karl.
He really did follow me all the way to Ronheim.
I quickly got up and left the shared bedroom.
Karl greeted me with a big smile.
“How was it? It came sooner than I thought. Did you wait long?”
I was so surprised that Karl magically appeared in front of me that I ran to him and hugged him.
He must have been hit by snow, for the snow on his head and shoulders was melting and forming water droplets that he couldn't shake off, and his small body was frozen solid.
“Oh my goodness, you really came! You really came!”
“I left a note saying I’d follow you. Didn’t you see it?”
"I saw it! I saw it, but the road was so rough that I was worried you wouldn't be able to make it alone. I was worried you'd give up and turn back..."
Karl smiled warmly, lifted his crow's foot, and stroked my head.
“You idiot, I promised. Have you ever seen me break a promise?”
I hugged his small body and burst into tears.
My one and only Karl.
It was a deep, deep relief to see him again.
***
It was around noon the next day when Callius left the synagogue.
Callius, who had not realized how much time had passed because all the windows in the synagogue were covered with thick curtains, was surprised when he heard the time from Mainz.
'I've been locked up in the synagogue for so long.'
As worried as Chloe was, he was desperate to find records of his mother having broken the curse.
So, time passed by like this while he was frantically searching through all the records in the synagogue.
“Did you find the record?”
Callius shook his head heavily at Mainz's question.
“There is no record of the curse anywhere.”
“Don’t worry too much, there are many other places besides the synagogue where records about the Saint are kept.”
Mainz comforted Callius.
Callius raised an eyebrow in puzzlement, reading the joy Mainz couldn't hide.
"You don't look like someone offering comfort. Something good must be happening, Mainz."
“I’m sorry. I was so reckless that I stopped...”
Mainz lowered his head as if he were ashamed.
Callius came out of the synagogue, worried and without any gain, yet he could not hide his joy.
But what can he do when he feels that good?
Mainz couldn't help but laugh, even though he was reproaching himself.
“What’s going on, Mainz?”
“That’s right, yesterday the madam asked me to do something amazing!”
“Amazing?”
Mainz took out the Vermis mushrooms he had carefully wrapped in a handkerchief and put in his pocket, and showed them to Callius.
“What is this?”
“It’s called a Vermis mushroom.”
Mainz reported to Callius in detail what Chloe had instructed him to do yesterday.
“...So, thinking that it was better to lose than to gain, I sent out herbalist gatherers to find something that looked like this, and boy, did the herbalist gatherers really find the Vermis mushroom!”
In fact, Mainz did not completely believe Chloe's words.
That's understandable, because in over 60 years of living in Rondheim, he's never seen a Vermis mushroom.
Mainz was quite knowledgeable about herbs.
This was because, under the teachings of his father, who was an assassin, he had studied poisons and herbs with Granada from a very young age.
Even if something called a Vermis mushroom actually existed, he thought it was certain that it wasn't in Ronheim.
However, herbalists went to the terrain Chloe had mentioned and actually found and brought back vermis mushrooms.
Even a lot.
“According to the madam, these are so precious in the south that they sell for a single gold coin.”
"Yes?"
Mainz's eyes sparkled.
"Yes! My lady suggested we sell these to solve Ronheim's food shortage! I told her I'd collected a lot of them, and she told me to report this to you immediately."
She wasn't trying to profit from the information she had, but rather to solve Ronheim's food problem.
Callius was startled by the unexpected report.
How could Chloe, who had only been in Ronheim for so long, have thought of something like that?
Even the Ronheim people were rude to Chloe.
“I really didn’t know that Madam would care so much about Ronheim’s welfare.”
Mainz was so excited that he was spitting as if he was about to start dancing.
"With this amount, every citizen of Ronheim will have enough food to last them through the winter! Then, no citizen will suffer starvation this winter!"
Even in summer, winters in Ronheim were extremely harsh, with snowstorms hitting at dawn.
Hunting was also difficult because most animals were hibernating.
In the winter of Ronheim, there were always people who died of hunger.
Callius was delighted with Mainz and asked for Chloe's location.
“Where is my wife now?”
Then, suddenly, he remembered that the servants must have cleaned the Marchioness's room last night, so Chloe must have changed rooms, so he asked urgently.
“Did my wife move to her room?”
“Yes, she slept in the shared bedroom last night.”
"Oh my god."
Callius touched his forehead.
'I didn't go in without saying anything, so people might misunderstand that I didn't come on purpose.'
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