Episode 139. If I Become a Widow
Grayon groaned in pain and covered his head.
“So please, Your Highness, allow me to go to Smilean. I can’t risk being branded a traitor if I go without permission, can I?”
Grayon groaned in pain and covered his head.
“So please, Your Highness, allow me to go to Smilean. I can’t risk being branded a traitor if I go without permission, can I?”
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“Once I board the ship, I’ll be scared. I’ll die...”
I sighed, looking off into the sky. Honestly, I felt like I was about to die. I was truly sincere when I said I’d be scared later.
But dying while saving him was a hundred times better than trembling here and being killed.
“Don’t even dream about it.”
“...Your Highness?”
“It was his choice. If he dies while going, he dies.”
I clenched my jaw in anger.
How could he say such a thing when his most important subject and friend was in danger!
“And you? What will you do when you become a widow?”
“Yes?”
“Without Locard, who in the Kydel family will protect you?”
Damn it, you're worried about that now!
"Now you have only me to rely on, Lady Kydel. I can protect you at least. How about swearing your loyalty to me right now?"
I bit my lip at his words, which seemed to assume Prince Kydel's death. A fear I hadn't even known I could feel washed over me.
Could there be a world without Locard Kydel?
I shook my head firmly.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. I feel sorry for Prince Kydel, who risked his life crossing the sea for Your Highness."
A corner of Prince Grayon's mouth slowly lifted. He narrowed his eyes, a strange smile forming before suddenly bursting into a loud laugh.
"You, a wife, don't even know Locard!"
"Yes?"
I realized that Prince Grayon had just played me. He had exploited my impatience to test my intuition.
That damned royal bastard!
“He’ll come back even if you throw him to the ends of the earth. Don’t waste your time and make him waste his time looking for you. That’s all my loss.”
“Your Highness!”
“You don’t even have Milliora to look after anymore. Your husband acted without my permission, so you’re responsible for me. Stay put and return to Kydel. I command you.”
It was incongruous for him to tell me to return to Kydel while whining like a child.
When I looked at him askance, he spoke up irritably.
“If Viscount Rene moves, you won’t be safe either. If I were you, I’d capture him first and pin Locard down. So, get to Kydel, where it’s safe.”
“Your Highness!”
He wasn’t a war commander for nothing. I’ll admit it, but it was absurd to dodge me like this.
When I tried to argue with him, he spoke first.
“If something happens to you, Locard won’t forgive me. He’s quite sensitive about what’s his. That would put me in trouble, too.”
“His.” The words rang deep in my ears.
“Sir Falcon, are you outside?”
His Highness Grayon summoned his knight, Sir Falcon, and had him drag me to Kydel himself.
His last words to me, as I was being dragged away with my arm held, were even more bizarre.
“Don’t worry, Locard will return on his own. If you really want to worry, worry that a Smilean woman will come with him.”
As soon as I arrived at Kydel, I went to the Duke’s room.
“What news?”
“There’s no movement at all. I sent men to Port Eron as you said, but no one from there has been seen.”
It made no sense. There was no way I could miss this golden opportunity to defeat Prince Kydel from there.
“What did I miss?”
While I bit my lip and pondered, the Duke poured me tea and held it out in front of me.
But would tea go over now?
I had no reason to obey His Highness Grayon’s orders. My husband was his servant, not my maid.
“Your Excellency, I must go to Eron. I will smuggle myself into Smilean...”
“Lorisha.”
“Yes, Your Excellency.”
“What are you planning on doing by smuggling yourself in?”
“Once I board the ship, I’ll be scared. I’ll die...”
I sighed, looking off into the sky. Honestly, I felt like I was about to die. I was truly sincere when I said I’d be scared later.
But dying while saving him was a hundred times better than trembling here and being killed.
“Don’t even dream about it.”
“...Your Highness?”
“It was his choice. If he dies while going, he dies.”
I clenched my jaw in anger.
How could he say such a thing when his most important subject and friend was in danger!
“And you? What will you do when you become a widow?”
“Yes?”
“Without Locard, who in the Kydel family will protect you?”
Damn it, you're worried about that now!
"Now you have only me to rely on, Lady Kydel. I can protect you at least. How about swearing your loyalty to me right now?"
I bit my lip at his words, which seemed to assume Prince Kydel's death. A fear I hadn't even known I could feel washed over me.
Could there be a world without Locard Kydel?
I shook my head firmly.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. I feel sorry for Prince Kydel, who risked his life crossing the sea for Your Highness."
A corner of Prince Grayon's mouth slowly lifted. He narrowed his eyes, a strange smile forming before suddenly bursting into a loud laugh.
"You, a wife, don't even know Locard!"
"Yes?"
I realized that Prince Grayon had just played me. He had exploited my impatience to test my intuition.
That damned royal bastard!
“He’ll come back even if you throw him to the ends of the earth. Don’t waste your time and make him waste his time looking for you. That’s all my loss.”
“Your Highness!”
“You don’t even have Milliora to look after anymore. Your husband acted without my permission, so you’re responsible for me. Stay put and return to Kydel. I command you.”
It was incongruous for him to tell me to return to Kydel while whining like a child.
When I looked at him askance, he spoke up irritably.
“If Viscount Rene moves, you won’t be safe either. If I were you, I’d capture him first and pin Locard down. So, get to Kydel, where it’s safe.”
“Your Highness!”
He wasn’t a war commander for nothing. I’ll admit it, but it was absurd to dodge me like this.
When I tried to argue with him, he spoke first.
“If something happens to you, Locard won’t forgive me. He’s quite sensitive about what’s his. That would put me in trouble, too.”
“His.” The words rang deep in my ears.
“Sir Falcon, are you outside?”
His Highness Grayon summoned his knight, Sir Falcon, and had him drag me to Kydel himself.
His last words to me, as I was being dragged away with my arm held, were even more bizarre.
“Don’t worry, Locard will return on his own. If you really want to worry, worry that a Smilean woman will come with him.”
***
As soon as I arrived at Kydel, I went to the Duke’s room.
“What news?”
“There’s no movement at all. I sent men to Port Eron as you said, but no one from there has been seen.”
It made no sense. There was no way I could miss this golden opportunity to defeat Prince Kydel from there.
“What did I miss?”
While I bit my lip and pondered, the Duke poured me tea and held it out in front of me.
But would tea go over now?
I had no reason to obey His Highness Grayon’s orders. My husband was his servant, not my maid.
“Your Excellency, I must go to Eron. I will smuggle myself into Smilean...”
“Lorisha.”
“Yes, Your Excellency.”
“What are you planning on doing by smuggling yourself in?”
I felt a pang of pain. I couldn’t help but feel so pathetic as I answered.
“I’ll think about it when I get there... I tend to do it when I’m a bit quiet... But I can do it! Really, Your Excellency.”
“Why?”
“Yes?”
“You would risk your life to save a husband you won’t even sleep with? I don’t understand.”
I was shocked and remained silent for a moment.
Even though he's my father-in-law, I was disappointed in the Duke for saying something like that now.
But there was no time to waste. I spoke bluntly.
"The issue of sleeping together is for his sake. For a perfect divorce."
"..."
“I’ll think about it when I get there... I tend to do it when I’m a bit quiet... But I can do it! Really, Your Excellency.”
“Why?”
“Yes?”
“You would risk your life to save a husband you won’t even sleep with? I don’t understand.”
I was shocked and remained silent for a moment.
Even though he's my father-in-law, I was disappointed in the Duke for saying something like that now.
But there was no time to waste. I spoke bluntly.
"The issue of sleeping together is for his sake. For a perfect divorce."
"..."
"I know full well that I'm a stain on this family. That's why I'm helping His Highness Grayon."
"To obtain permission for a divorce?"
"Yes, Duke."
He turned his back on me and stared silently out the window. His voice was deeply subdued.
"You're the person closest to my son. And yet, even if you risk your life for Locard, you can't live together..."
I felt like I'd been hit in the back of the head with a blunt object. Why was the Duke saying something like this now?
"Duke, now is not a time for love, but for survival."
"Lorisha, more than you think, love causes things. Both life and death."
I couldn't understand the Duke's composure. The one who should be most at a loss right now is the Duke, yet he was talking about love.
“Duke, you know something? Please tell me!”
“It seems Her Majesty the Empress disappeared around the same time as Locard.”
“What?”
“If my guess is correct, Locard is safer than you think. You should calm down in the meantime. If there’s any news, I’ll tell you right away.”
I wanted to say, overcome with emotion, that I couldn’t do that. But it wouldn’t do any good to have the Duke on guard.
I forced myself to remain calm and answered.
“Yes, Duke.”
“I’ll have guards in the hallway, so don’t think about anything else, Lorisha.”
“...!”
I returned to my room under the knight’s watch.
Looking out the window, I saw knights standing guard at regular intervals in the garden below. Escaping by climbing the wall beyond the window was impossible. I was imprisoned.
‘The Duke knows something. But why won’t you tell me?’
“Ahhh!”
I pounded the bed in anger, and the knight knocked outside.
“My Lady, what is happening?”
I screamed, knowing this was the moment. With just one, I didn't know if I'd even have a chance.
When I didn't answer, a knight rushed into my room. I hid behind the open door and ran into the hallway.
But there were five more knights there. They looked at me pitifully.
'You're only protecting me...'
"Return to your room immediately, my lady."
One of the knights said firmly. I barely held back the urge to scream and returned to my room.
I went into bed, clutching the blankets in agony. I longed to see the Count.
But even anger was exhausting. I soon felt powerless and collapsed on the bed.
"Love?"
After all, Duke Kydel had fought in more than one battle. If someone was flustered by such a thing, he might not have maintained his position as First Messenger.
But in this situation, instead of worrying about his son, he was talking about love.
The Duke's words lingered in my mind, and I was tormented.
'You risk your life for Locard, but you can't live together.'
What does the Duke know about my life?
Suddenly, the question crossed my mind: if I were a real couple, sleeping with him, would he have allowed me to go south? It was nonsense, as expected.
“What’s so important about that...”
I was so exhausted I didn’t even realize I’d dozed off. When I opened my eyes at dawn, I was immediately following the thoughts I’d had before falling asleep.
The Duke wasn’t distrustful of me because I hadn’t slept with Locard. It was because I’d mentioned divorce.
I muttered bitterly,
“That’s right. Who would entrust a soldier who’s only ready to flee to battle?”
Fate circled itself. At the end of its path stood Locard Kydel.
Deep into the night. When he stepped onto the balcony of the Empress’s bedroom, his face hunched, the Empress, sitting on her chair, let out a sigh of relief.
Locard realized she had been waiting for his visit.
“Prince Kydel, what about him? How is my husband doing? You must have met him, right?”
Locard wondered what the Empress would ask first. And indeed, her first question was the welfare of the second lion.
She, whom he had thought to be a fierce mother, was, in fact, a blind woman.
Locard's low voice took on a somber tone today.
"He is dead. He must have been scattered in the sea off Smilean by now."
Haa, a sigh of resentment escaped her throat. It was a gesture that seemed to deny his death.
She spoke with a trembling voice.
“He was truly beautiful. His voice had a fragrance, and his fingertips were warm. Unlike His Majesty the Emperor, who was cruel and cold as a blade, he was the man who cried before I did when I was sad. Ah... He made me realize that I, too, have feelings.”
She gasped for breath, a strange noise escaping from her throat as she fought to hold back the pain. It was a struggle to squeeze out the majesty of an Empress.
“You came back without attending his funeral because you had something urgent to bring, didn’t you, Prince Kydel? Give me back the legacy Drake left me. You are Kydel, aren’t you? Kydel, who cherishes life.”
"To obtain permission for a divorce?"
"Yes, Duke."
He turned his back on me and stared silently out the window. His voice was deeply subdued.
"You're the person closest to my son. And yet, even if you risk your life for Locard, you can't live together..."
I felt like I'd been hit in the back of the head with a blunt object. Why was the Duke saying something like this now?
"Duke, now is not a time for love, but for survival."
"Lorisha, more than you think, love causes things. Both life and death."
I couldn't understand the Duke's composure. The one who should be most at a loss right now is the Duke, yet he was talking about love.
“Duke, you know something? Please tell me!”
“It seems Her Majesty the Empress disappeared around the same time as Locard.”
“What?”
“If my guess is correct, Locard is safer than you think. You should calm down in the meantime. If there’s any news, I’ll tell you right away.”
I wanted to say, overcome with emotion, that I couldn’t do that. But it wouldn’t do any good to have the Duke on guard.
I forced myself to remain calm and answered.
“Yes, Duke.”
“I’ll have guards in the hallway, so don’t think about anything else, Lorisha.”
“...!”
I returned to my room under the knight’s watch.
Looking out the window, I saw knights standing guard at regular intervals in the garden below. Escaping by climbing the wall beyond the window was impossible. I was imprisoned.
‘The Duke knows something. But why won’t you tell me?’
“Ahhh!”
I pounded the bed in anger, and the knight knocked outside.
“My Lady, what is happening?”
I screamed, knowing this was the moment. With just one, I didn't know if I'd even have a chance.
When I didn't answer, a knight rushed into my room. I hid behind the open door and ran into the hallway.
But there were five more knights there. They looked at me pitifully.
'You're only protecting me...'
"Return to your room immediately, my lady."
One of the knights said firmly. I barely held back the urge to scream and returned to my room.
I went into bed, clutching the blankets in agony. I longed to see the Count.
But even anger was exhausting. I soon felt powerless and collapsed on the bed.
"Love?"
After all, Duke Kydel had fought in more than one battle. If someone was flustered by such a thing, he might not have maintained his position as First Messenger.
But in this situation, instead of worrying about his son, he was talking about love.
The Duke's words lingered in my mind, and I was tormented.
'You risk your life for Locard, but you can't live together.'
What does the Duke know about my life?
Suddenly, the question crossed my mind: if I were a real couple, sleeping with him, would he have allowed me to go south? It was nonsense, as expected.
“What’s so important about that...”
I was so exhausted I didn’t even realize I’d dozed off. When I opened my eyes at dawn, I was immediately following the thoughts I’d had before falling asleep.
The Duke wasn’t distrustful of me because I hadn’t slept with Locard. It was because I’d mentioned divorce.
I muttered bitterly,
“That’s right. Who would entrust a soldier who’s only ready to flee to battle?”
***
Fate circled itself. At the end of its path stood Locard Kydel.
Deep into the night. When he stepped onto the balcony of the Empress’s bedroom, his face hunched, the Empress, sitting on her chair, let out a sigh of relief.
Locard realized she had been waiting for his visit.
“Prince Kydel, what about him? How is my husband doing? You must have met him, right?”
Locard wondered what the Empress would ask first. And indeed, her first question was the welfare of the second lion.
She, whom he had thought to be a fierce mother, was, in fact, a blind woman.
Locard's low voice took on a somber tone today.
"He is dead. He must have been scattered in the sea off Smilean by now."
Haa, a sigh of resentment escaped her throat. It was a gesture that seemed to deny his death.
She spoke with a trembling voice.
“He was truly beautiful. His voice had a fragrance, and his fingertips were warm. Unlike His Majesty the Emperor, who was cruel and cold as a blade, he was the man who cried before I did when I was sad. Ah... He made me realize that I, too, have feelings.”
She gasped for breath, a strange noise escaping from her throat as she fought to hold back the pain. It was a struggle to squeeze out the majesty of an Empress.
“You came back without attending his funeral because you had something urgent to bring, didn’t you, Prince Kydel? Give me back the legacy Drake left me. You are Kydel, aren’t you? Kydel, who cherishes life.”
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