A precious young lady who grew up without a wrinkle. The one who will become the most precious body in Escliffe. The one who will become Ian's mother. And the woman who will become Ivan's wife.
All the way back to the West Palace, Amelia thought about the titles Jane Clarke would receive. They were all so great, so sparkling, so bright. They were things Amelia could never desire.
And they are the complete opposite of Amelia Escliffe, who has nothing.
“Priestess?”
“I want to rest alone for a while.”
She felt like someone had taken her heart and thrown it on the floor. She didn't want to meet anyone in this mood. She didn't feel like controlling her expression, so she definitely didn't want to run into Louis, who was loitering around her room.
The door closed with a thud. Amelia leaned against the door and sank down. She didn't care if the floor was dirty or not.
“...”
What lingers in her mind is Jane Clarke, the afterimage of that beautiful woman. Ian's face, smiling brightly. And Ivan, Ivan Wade Escliffe.
That fucking guy.
Amelia now knew exactly why she had been so reluctant to hear or encounter any news related to Jane Clarke.
"Why."
Her lips trembled as she barely managed to utter a mutter.
“Why do you suit each other so well?”
Because she knew that Jane Clarke would be the perfect person to sit next to Ivan. Because she knew that she would have what she could not have and still not lack anything.
Tears fell heavily. No matter how hard she tried to hold back her tears, it was no use. Amelia wiped her eyes with her hands several times, but when the tears started to flow down, she gave up on wiping them away.
“Why. Why...”
It was sad and miserable. Why can't I have it? Why can't I? Why can't I...? Only unfinished questions were left on her chest like bruises. Then, once again, she would realize what she truly wanted.
“Ugh...”
Actually, I still want you. I wish your heart were mine. I want to stand by your side.
I still loved that fucking arrogant, mean man. I still wanted his body and his heart. I wanted to live and die next to the man who could never be mine.
That's why she buried her resentment towards him as if it were nothing. Because she couldn't hide the fact that all of that was her lingering feelings and attachment towards him. In the end, she was afraid that it would be discovered that she still wanted him.
But no matter how much she struggled, in the end, it was this place. Amelia couldn't completely ignore her feelings for Ivan.
To be used, ridiculed, and ignored like that, and still not be able to shake it off. It was such a terrible feeling. It was to the point where she thought it should be called madness rather than love.
Unless Ivan's eyesight had suddenly gone weird and he was mistaken, it was definitely Amelia scurrying around the corner of the building.
“You’re using a sleepwalker. Give it to me.”
The bright sunlight passed, and a gentle cloud appeared. At the same time, Ian began to whine. Mrs. Howard reached out to Jane, saying that Ian was having a seizure.
“Give it to me. I’ll take it and go back.”
At that moment, Ivan intervened. Mrs. Howard opened her eyes wide and looked at Ivan. Ivan was not the type to take care of Ian so kindly.
"All right."
However, it was impossible to disobey the Emperor’s will. Mrs. Howard carefully handed the child over to Ivan, fearing that he might drop Ian, and watched him with a worried expression. However, surprisingly, Ivan’s posture while holding Ian was quite stable.
“Can we stop here?”
Even Ian rested his face comfortably on Ivan's chest and closed his eyes. He didn't show any sign of discomfort, as he didn't have soft breasts like the women who usually took care of him.
"Sure."
Jane got up from her seat and thanked him for the pleasure. Ivan left the garden, holding Ian in his arms. Ian quickly became quiet as if he had never whined before.
“Mrs. Howard.”
"Yes?"
Ivan, who had entered Ian's bedroom, stopped in front of Ian's bed. Mrs. Howard, who had followed him, opened her eyes wide.
“Please leave the room for a moment. Make sure no one comes into the child’s bedroom for a while.”
At Ivan's command, Mrs. Howard left Ian's bedroom with a bewildered look on her face. It was only later that she realized that she should have brought the child with her, but since Ivan didn't say anything until the end, she figured that he might have had some thoughts.
Thanks to that, Ivan was able to put Ian, who had fallen asleep on the way here, to bed and walk leisurely to the side room.
“...”
He followed the red cloth that was so strangely incongruous between the doors and immediately opened the door to the side room. He had no intention of turning around and pretending not to notice. If he had, he would not have rejected Mrs. Howard in the first place.
As expected, Amelia's gaze, leaning against the door that Ivan had not opened, turned to Ivan.
“Please get out.”
Amelia stared at Ivan as if glaring at him, then barely opened her mouth. Her eyes were red.
“Did you cry?”
Ivan acted shamelessly as if he didn't hear the call to leave. Amelia scrunched her face as if she had difficulty even looking at his face.
“Please leave...”
“Why did you come to the palace earlier?”
Before Amelia could finish speaking, Ivan asked a question. Amelia kept her mouth shut. There were too many words surging in her chest. She couldn't even guess what she would say if she opened her mouth.
“...”
The tears just fell. She thought they had definitely stopped. As soon as she saw Ivan's shameless face, the image of him and Jane came to mind like a picture.
“I hate you...”
Amelia cried and blamed Ivan, realizing once again that she would spend her entire life tormented by her desire to have him.
“You should have just killed me the day we first met.”
Because she wished she had died without even knowing Ivan. If she had just died without knowing the reason, her heart wouldn't have hurt so much now.
“You make me miserable.”
“...”
“Sometimes even more than Aaron...”
It was Aaron who taught Amelia not to think. Ivan suddenly appeared one day and showed Amelia another world, gave her the freedom to desire, and then threw her away. He said that she could desire, but could not have.
“It keeps reminding me that what I want most is something I can’t have.”
And he hovered around mockingly, making her long for more of what she didn't have.
“What do you want most?”
Ivan asked. Amelia stubbornly kept her mouth shut and did not answer. Then Ivan closed the door completely and came in, lowering his body. He grabbed Amelia’s chin, who was trying to avoid his gaze, and made her meet his eyes.
“Tell me. I might be able to give you what you want.”
Ivan whispered seductively.
“You, devil bastard.”
Amelia swore at Ivan in the face, her face crumpled as if she was going to spit. But Ivan strangely didn’t feel bad. It wasn’t because Amelia didn’t mean it, but because he thought it was like declaring defeat.
“Bogs, damn food ....”
Amelia's tears fell as she continued to curse Ivan. Ivan's chest was filled with conviction.
“A ruined baby.”
“...”
“Even though I know that, I still want you to have it...”
Amelia's voice was close to despair, but Ivan felt joy.
Yes, there's no way you can escape me. There's no way you can't be jealous of Jane Clarke. There's no way you can't love me now.
“I promise.”
“...”
“Except for the Empress’s throne, I will give you whatever you want.”
The night Amelia bit off his tongue, Ivan realized that he wanted to possess Amelia. His heart wanted it, even though his mind told him that he didn't need to risk such inefficiency.
So he decided to do it. He was the kind of person who could do it.
“So promise me that you will be my government.”
Amelia laughed hollowly. It seemed as if she had already sensed that she would not be able to refuse Ivan's offer.
“Yes. Until I die...”
Amelia's voice was faintly scattered. But it was a clear promise. Ivan held Amelia's face with both hands and lowered his head. Amelia's forehead, hot from crying all the time, touched Ivan's forehead. Amelia did not refuse.
Ivan felt the warmth he hadn't felt in a long time and fondled Amelia's eyes with his lips. They were wet with tears, but at the same time, they were soft and sweet.
“...”
As Ivan's lips parted slightly, Amelia opened her eyes. Ivan stared blankly into those eyes.
“Did you really sleep with Aaron Skipper?”
And he asked again the question that had been on his mind all along.
"...No."
Amelia denied in a small voice. Ivan dug into Amelia’s lips with satisfaction and lifted her fragile body into his arms. The bodies of the man and woman, intertwined as one, fell as if they were falling onto the bed in the side room.
All the way back to the West Palace, Amelia thought about the titles Jane Clarke would receive. They were all so great, so sparkling, so bright. They were things Amelia could never desire.
And they are the complete opposite of Amelia Escliffe, who has nothing.
“Priestess?”
“I want to rest alone for a while.”
She felt like someone had taken her heart and thrown it on the floor. She didn't want to meet anyone in this mood. She didn't feel like controlling her expression, so she definitely didn't want to run into Louis, who was loitering around her room.
The door closed with a thud. Amelia leaned against the door and sank down. She didn't care if the floor was dirty or not.
“...”
What lingers in her mind is Jane Clarke, the afterimage of that beautiful woman. Ian's face, smiling brightly. And Ivan, Ivan Wade Escliffe.
That fucking guy.
Amelia now knew exactly why she had been so reluctant to hear or encounter any news related to Jane Clarke.
"Why."
Her lips trembled as she barely managed to utter a mutter.
“Why do you suit each other so well?”
Because she knew that Jane Clarke would be the perfect person to sit next to Ivan. Because she knew that she would have what she could not have and still not lack anything.
Tears fell heavily. No matter how hard she tried to hold back her tears, it was no use. Amelia wiped her eyes with her hands several times, but when the tears started to flow down, she gave up on wiping them away.
“Why. Why...”
It was sad and miserable. Why can't I have it? Why can't I? Why can't I...? Only unfinished questions were left on her chest like bruises. Then, once again, she would realize what she truly wanted.
“Ugh...”
Actually, I still want you. I wish your heart were mine. I want to stand by your side.
I still loved that fucking arrogant, mean man. I still wanted his body and his heart. I wanted to live and die next to the man who could never be mine.
That's why she buried her resentment towards him as if it were nothing. Because she couldn't hide the fact that all of that was her lingering feelings and attachment towards him. In the end, she was afraid that it would be discovered that she still wanted him.
But no matter how much she struggled, in the end, it was this place. Amelia couldn't completely ignore her feelings for Ivan.
To be used, ridiculed, and ignored like that, and still not be able to shake it off. It was such a terrible feeling. It was to the point where she thought it should be called madness rather than love.
***
Unless Ivan's eyesight had suddenly gone weird and he was mistaken, it was definitely Amelia scurrying around the corner of the building.
“You’re using a sleepwalker. Give it to me.”
The bright sunlight passed, and a gentle cloud appeared. At the same time, Ian began to whine. Mrs. Howard reached out to Jane, saying that Ian was having a seizure.
“Give it to me. I’ll take it and go back.”
At that moment, Ivan intervened. Mrs. Howard opened her eyes wide and looked at Ivan. Ivan was not the type to take care of Ian so kindly.
"All right."
However, it was impossible to disobey the Emperor’s will. Mrs. Howard carefully handed the child over to Ivan, fearing that he might drop Ian, and watched him with a worried expression. However, surprisingly, Ivan’s posture while holding Ian was quite stable.
“Can we stop here?”
Even Ian rested his face comfortably on Ivan's chest and closed his eyes. He didn't show any sign of discomfort, as he didn't have soft breasts like the women who usually took care of him.
"Sure."
Jane got up from her seat and thanked him for the pleasure. Ivan left the garden, holding Ian in his arms. Ian quickly became quiet as if he had never whined before.
“Mrs. Howard.”
"Yes?"
Ivan, who had entered Ian's bedroom, stopped in front of Ian's bed. Mrs. Howard, who had followed him, opened her eyes wide.
“Please leave the room for a moment. Make sure no one comes into the child’s bedroom for a while.”
At Ivan's command, Mrs. Howard left Ian's bedroom with a bewildered look on her face. It was only later that she realized that she should have brought the child with her, but since Ivan didn't say anything until the end, she figured that he might have had some thoughts.
Thanks to that, Ivan was able to put Ian, who had fallen asleep on the way here, to bed and walk leisurely to the side room.
“...”
He followed the red cloth that was so strangely incongruous between the doors and immediately opened the door to the side room. He had no intention of turning around and pretending not to notice. If he had, he would not have rejected Mrs. Howard in the first place.
As expected, Amelia's gaze, leaning against the door that Ivan had not opened, turned to Ivan.
“Please get out.”
Amelia stared at Ivan as if glaring at him, then barely opened her mouth. Her eyes were red.
“Did you cry?”
Ivan acted shamelessly as if he didn't hear the call to leave. Amelia scrunched her face as if she had difficulty even looking at his face.
“Please leave...”
“Why did you come to the palace earlier?”
Before Amelia could finish speaking, Ivan asked a question. Amelia kept her mouth shut. There were too many words surging in her chest. She couldn't even guess what she would say if she opened her mouth.
“...”
The tears just fell. She thought they had definitely stopped. As soon as she saw Ivan's shameless face, the image of him and Jane came to mind like a picture.
“I hate you...”
Amelia cried and blamed Ivan, realizing once again that she would spend her entire life tormented by her desire to have him.
“You should have just killed me the day we first met.”
Because she wished she had died without even knowing Ivan. If she had just died without knowing the reason, her heart wouldn't have hurt so much now.
“You make me miserable.”
“...”
“Sometimes even more than Aaron...”
It was Aaron who taught Amelia not to think. Ivan suddenly appeared one day and showed Amelia another world, gave her the freedom to desire, and then threw her away. He said that she could desire, but could not have.
“It keeps reminding me that what I want most is something I can’t have.”
And he hovered around mockingly, making her long for more of what she didn't have.
“What do you want most?”
Ivan asked. Amelia stubbornly kept her mouth shut and did not answer. Then Ivan closed the door completely and came in, lowering his body. He grabbed Amelia’s chin, who was trying to avoid his gaze, and made her meet his eyes.
“Tell me. I might be able to give you what you want.”
Ivan whispered seductively.
“You, devil bastard.”
Amelia swore at Ivan in the face, her face crumpled as if she was going to spit. But Ivan strangely didn’t feel bad. It wasn’t because Amelia didn’t mean it, but because he thought it was like declaring defeat.
“Bogs, damn food ....”
Amelia's tears fell as she continued to curse Ivan. Ivan's chest was filled with conviction.
“A ruined baby.”
“...”
“Even though I know that, I still want you to have it...”
Amelia's voice was close to despair, but Ivan felt joy.
Yes, there's no way you can escape me. There's no way you can't be jealous of Jane Clarke. There's no way you can't love me now.
“I promise.”
“...”
“Except for the Empress’s throne, I will give you whatever you want.”
The night Amelia bit off his tongue, Ivan realized that he wanted to possess Amelia. His heart wanted it, even though his mind told him that he didn't need to risk such inefficiency.
So he decided to do it. He was the kind of person who could do it.
“So promise me that you will be my government.”
Amelia laughed hollowly. It seemed as if she had already sensed that she would not be able to refuse Ivan's offer.
“Yes. Until I die...”
Amelia's voice was faintly scattered. But it was a clear promise. Ivan held Amelia's face with both hands and lowered his head. Amelia's forehead, hot from crying all the time, touched Ivan's forehead. Amelia did not refuse.
Ivan felt the warmth he hadn't felt in a long time and fondled Amelia's eyes with his lips. They were wet with tears, but at the same time, they were soft and sweet.
“...”
As Ivan's lips parted slightly, Amelia opened her eyes. Ivan stared blankly into those eyes.
“Did you really sleep with Aaron Skipper?”
And he asked again the question that had been on his mind all along.
"...No."
Amelia denied in a small voice. Ivan dug into Amelia’s lips with satisfaction and lifted her fragile body into his arms. The bodies of the man and woman, intertwined as one, fell as if they were falling onto the bed in the side room.
Comments
Post a Comment