079. If I leave you alone, will you come back?
On the way home in the carriage, Charlotte kept an eye on her sister the whole time.
It would have been better if she had been angry, but her sister's unresponsiveness made Charlotte suffocate.
“I’m sorry. I just wanted to... reconcile you and the young master...”
“I know, Charlotte.”
Her sister's voice was cold.
Even when she threw a tantrum about finding the cat, she was confident. In the pitch-black darkness, her sister always looked for the master, and the master did the same.
But now, Charlotte is in a meeting for the first time.
Has she been living too immersed in fairy tales?
Is reality completely different than what Mitch said?
Charlotte felt her eyes getting hotter and hotter. She thought she shouldn't cry, but she couldn't stop herself from sobbing. Emilia felt her heart weakening again as she watched her sister like that.
“I know what made you do that. I don’t blame you.”
Charlotte squeezed her sister's hand tightly.
“I still don’t understand. Why all of a sudden... why did you suddenly start to hate the master so much? The master... seems to like you.”
“No, Charlotte. That’s not true. That person... That’s not what I like. If I really liked him, I couldn’t do that... No matter how much I think about it, I just don’t feel that way.”
“Why?”
Emilia thought for a moment.
“Because he doesn’t respect me.”
“What is respect?”
The cold voice that had been echoing inside the carriage hesitated once more.
Emilia let out her answer with the breath she had been holding in her eyes.
“...Treating something precious, not treating it carelessly.”
Charlotte nodded, as she did every time her sister taught her the meaning of a new word.
“But did the master treat you rudely?”
"Yes."
“When? How?”
“When you’re not around...”
How should I continue speaking?
He threatened me and took my body?
Or did you foolishly give yourself over to that man?
Somewhere in the air beyond the child's head, a series of events collectively referred to as 'bad things' began to surface, one by one.
Her stomach rumbled, and her eyes closed tightly.
However one interprets or explains the matter, one thing is clear.
She never wanted to tell anyone about that.
Emilia would rather be seen as a twisted person who suddenly changes her mind...
“I just hate it, Charlotte. I hate it so much I don’t even want to explain it to you. Everything to do with Master Meyer.”
The coldness in her soft words made Charlotte flinch and feel confused.
If what her sister said is true, then Master Meyer only treats her sister preciously in front of her family, and treats her badly behind their back. Why would he do such a thing?
“Please don’t be angry and listen to me. I still think... the master really likes you. It’s like magic, his feelings are conveyed... It’s so painful here...”
Charlotte pressed her hand against her chest.
“I feel like he's getting weird when he's with you. Look, I came out into the world in a carriage. I even talked to a boy named Pip. That boy thought I was a monster. I pretended not to, but I could feel that he thought I was disgusting. But I didn’t hide.”
As Charlotte spoke, she realized that she was connected to Lord Meyer in a very strange way.
Her sister will laugh at her, but that much is certain.
“I feel a little strange when I’m with Master. I become strangely confident, and I feel like I’ve become a completely different person.”
Emilia smiled reluctantly, stroking her sister's head.
“Yes, I’m glad that he seems to be a good influence on you at least. But Charlotte, it’s the exact opposite for you. When I'm with him, I'm just scared.”
“What are you afraid of?”
What are you so afraid of?
Emilia postponed her answer and became lost in thought again.
'Duchess Meyer, my wife.'
Emilia tried to put the image of a Duchess wearing a dress and waving a fan on her still trembling body.
If the last five years hadn't happened.
If she had heard something like that when she was a child and knew nothing... She might have thought it was foolish and ecstatic.
But now it's the complete opposite. There isn't a single beautiful love story or fairy tale-like scene depicted.
The Duchess, who was born a commoner, would be surrounded by many Cavendishes. No, at least, she would live each day as if she were swallowing grains of sand in a world where love and marriage were separate.
What about family and children?
On the outside, you will be called master or young lady, but in the end, behind your back, you will be pointed at and laughed at.
Emilia couldn't sleep because she was so angry and upset that Charlotte would call her a 'cripple' if someone called her. What if her child were called that, too?
They have their own world. Emilia didn't want to live a life of wandering around and begging. She didn't even want to be in that world in the first place.
More than anything, 'Meyer', who was standing behind Hardius, aroused in her a fear that went beyond fear.
What will happen if his mother finds out about this?
Just thinking about it made Emilia's body tremble.
She doesn't want to be 'Camellia Lady'.
Emilia hugged Charlotte's shoulders tightly. Unlike her gently patting hands, her eyes staring into space were cold and dry.
“Do you remember, Charlotte? That ‘gift from God’ story that your sister told you about.”
Charlotte nodded.
“A future with you can never be happy. I can’t handle it, and I don’t want to handle it.”
“You just hate it? Can’t you think positively about it?”
"Yes."
Faced with such a decisive answer, Charlotte gave up her last hope.
“You know what the worst thing is? Master Meyer knows better than anyone else. If he had respected me, he wouldn’t have let things get to this point. That’s why it’s even worse. That person really... knows everything, but he still does things like that without any plan...”
He is a very self-centered person and cannot empathize with the suffering of others.
If he really wanted to make her the 'Duchess of Meyer', he would not have left her in such a desolate state for the past five years.
What happened so far was almost a tragedy caused by impulse and lust.
The fiancée he was planning to throw away somehow caught his eye, and since she didn't come into his hands as easily as he thought, he became so absurdly obsessed with her.
Naturally, you are more attracted to things that are difficult to obtain.
Hardius Meyer is a monster that only shines when viewed from afar, but when seen up close, he cannot control himself and burns himself.
If she stays close, not only she but also her precious family will burn to ashes.
Emilia clasped her hands together in prayer.
“You're too important to me, and I don't want to hurt you even a little bit.”
The strange thrill she had felt in front of Raina was pounding her heart again.
“I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want to be swayed or dragged around. I don’t want to think about someone and cry, and I definitely don’t want to sharpen my sword of revenge. Your sister just wants to... live happily and enjoyably. In a world where people willingly accept and welcome me.”
The carriage ran for a while longer and finally arrived at the entrance to the forest.
The tree cave, once filled with only green, was now shedding its fresh clothes and entering a colorful path of maturity.
"Master!"
Pip's voice resonated through the quiet cottage. Hardius looked down at the stallion running wildly beyond the lattice window. Pip ran quickly and stood before his master.
“The feeder is empty! It’s completely empty!”
Hardius nodded slightly.
“What can you do when you're hungry? You have to eat first, regardless of your pride. It seems that letting him wander around the garden as he pleased worked. I guess both stray cats and people have to live according to their nature.”
Pip's face, which had been approaching with a smile, suddenly hardened. This was because there was a bottle of alcohol on the table.
“...I sent a letter to Miss Bern’s sister as you instructed. I said that the cat is eating well and living well.”
“Yeah, good job.”
Hardius poured the drink. Pip could barely suppress the nagging feeling on the tip of his tongue as he watched him empty the glass in one gulp.
He had to return to Nowak in two days. The young master's schedule was extremely tight, as he had been away for a month.
He has a meeting with the Meyer Steel executives right now. He has to check the pile of invitations and visiting cards at Basilion House, and he has to stop by Kramwitz to see Mrs. Meyer.
First of all, finally, he met Miss Bianca Leichnen.
Mr. Grojean strongly urged that the young master take good care of his health over the weekend.
But how can he just drink alcohol while feeling the cold wind all over his body?
“Mastet, the weather is quite chilly, so let’s stop now...”
“Pip.”
The sudden, affectionate voice calling out to him drowned out his nagging.
“Tell me what you think.”
"Yes?"
“If I leave them to live freely and freely, will they really come back?”
Pip, who was confused, realized that his master was talking about a cat.
“Of course. That’s exactly how he should live. Just feed him well. Animals never forget the person who feeds them.”
A faint smile appeared on the lips holding the glass. It was an empty smile that made even the onlookers feel lonely.
“So what if he can find food on his own? Then he won’t have to look for someone to feed him anymore. What should I do then?”
Pip thought, "Oops."
How foolish of me to make such a mistake...
The owner is not talking about the cat now.
It was clear that his eyes were contemplating something other than a cat.
“Now that I hear you, what you said is right. Someone like you should lock him up and take him. In fact, only people like me who have nothing do things like feeding him and taking care of him. Aren’t you someone who has everything? You can just lock him up and take it. It doesn’t matter.”
“You’re talking exactly like that guy.”
“Who is it?”
“My grandfather.”
Pip felt a bit smug at the fact that his predecessor, Meyer, and he, a mere novice, had said the same thing.
“Anyway, leave him to me. I will tame that ungrateful kitten so well that he will crawl into the villa on his own two feet. That is why I am inviting back that one-eyed... no, Miss Bern’s younger sister.”
Hardius laughed again. Pip could tell that his master was very drunk. A cold wind blew, chilling Pip's body.
“It’s cold, Young Master. Would you like to come in?”
"Yes."
As he said that, his gaze turned to the sky again. Pip realized that his master wanted to be alone. He had no choice but to quietly leave the terrace again.
Hardius, now alone, poured the last of the liquor left in the bottle. Looking down at the rippling amber liquid, he felt like he was falling into it. His dizzying vision made him feel like the sky was going to fall down. Was it just the sky? His brain, heart, and even his internal organs seemed to be melting away.
How many days has he been a drunkard?
And yet, he drank the last glass in one gulp.
That way, he could get some shut-eye, even if only for a little while.
It seemed that only then would he be able to shake off the woman who had taken over his head and never left him for even a moment.
Unable to overcome his impatience, he dared to mention Duchess Meyer. So hastily and impatiently.
He still can't do anything about his own mother.
'I'll hate you more. I'll hate you so much, I'll just be an empty shell.'
He has no regrets in his dictionary, so it doesn't matter what she says.
But why am I so anxious and afraid?
What else should I do to keep you in the future?
How viciously do I have to lie and harass you?
“If I leave you alone... will you come back?”
The low voice cannot reach the empty space and seeps into the darkness.
On the way home in the carriage, Charlotte kept an eye on her sister the whole time.
It would have been better if she had been angry, but her sister's unresponsiveness made Charlotte suffocate.
“I’m sorry. I just wanted to... reconcile you and the young master...”
“I know, Charlotte.”
Her sister's voice was cold.
Even when she threw a tantrum about finding the cat, she was confident. In the pitch-black darkness, her sister always looked for the master, and the master did the same.
But now, Charlotte is in a meeting for the first time.
Has she been living too immersed in fairy tales?
Is reality completely different than what Mitch said?
Charlotte felt her eyes getting hotter and hotter. She thought she shouldn't cry, but she couldn't stop herself from sobbing. Emilia felt her heart weakening again as she watched her sister like that.
“I know what made you do that. I don’t blame you.”
Charlotte squeezed her sister's hand tightly.
“I still don’t understand. Why all of a sudden... why did you suddenly start to hate the master so much? The master... seems to like you.”
“No, Charlotte. That’s not true. That person... That’s not what I like. If I really liked him, I couldn’t do that... No matter how much I think about it, I just don’t feel that way.”
“Why?”
Emilia thought for a moment.
“Because he doesn’t respect me.”
“What is respect?”
The cold voice that had been echoing inside the carriage hesitated once more.
Emilia let out her answer with the breath she had been holding in her eyes.
“...Treating something precious, not treating it carelessly.”
Charlotte nodded, as she did every time her sister taught her the meaning of a new word.
“But did the master treat you rudely?”
"Yes."
“When? How?”
“When you’re not around...”
How should I continue speaking?
He threatened me and took my body?
Or did you foolishly give yourself over to that man?
Somewhere in the air beyond the child's head, a series of events collectively referred to as 'bad things' began to surface, one by one.
Her stomach rumbled, and her eyes closed tightly.
However one interprets or explains the matter, one thing is clear.
She never wanted to tell anyone about that.
Emilia would rather be seen as a twisted person who suddenly changes her mind...
“I just hate it, Charlotte. I hate it so much I don’t even want to explain it to you. Everything to do with Master Meyer.”
The coldness in her soft words made Charlotte flinch and feel confused.
If what her sister said is true, then Master Meyer only treats her sister preciously in front of her family, and treats her badly behind their back. Why would he do such a thing?
“Please don’t be angry and listen to me. I still think... the master really likes you. It’s like magic, his feelings are conveyed... It’s so painful here...”
Charlotte pressed her hand against her chest.
“I feel like he's getting weird when he's with you. Look, I came out into the world in a carriage. I even talked to a boy named Pip. That boy thought I was a monster. I pretended not to, but I could feel that he thought I was disgusting. But I didn’t hide.”
As Charlotte spoke, she realized that she was connected to Lord Meyer in a very strange way.
Her sister will laugh at her, but that much is certain.
“I feel a little strange when I’m with Master. I become strangely confident, and I feel like I’ve become a completely different person.”
Emilia smiled reluctantly, stroking her sister's head.
“Yes, I’m glad that he seems to be a good influence on you at least. But Charlotte, it’s the exact opposite for you. When I'm with him, I'm just scared.”
“What are you afraid of?”
What are you so afraid of?
Emilia postponed her answer and became lost in thought again.
'Duchess Meyer, my wife.'
Emilia tried to put the image of a Duchess wearing a dress and waving a fan on her still trembling body.
If the last five years hadn't happened.
If she had heard something like that when she was a child and knew nothing... She might have thought it was foolish and ecstatic.
But now it's the complete opposite. There isn't a single beautiful love story or fairy tale-like scene depicted.
The Duchess, who was born a commoner, would be surrounded by many Cavendishes. No, at least, she would live each day as if she were swallowing grains of sand in a world where love and marriage were separate.
What about family and children?
On the outside, you will be called master or young lady, but in the end, behind your back, you will be pointed at and laughed at.
Emilia couldn't sleep because she was so angry and upset that Charlotte would call her a 'cripple' if someone called her. What if her child were called that, too?
They have their own world. Emilia didn't want to live a life of wandering around and begging. She didn't even want to be in that world in the first place.
More than anything, 'Meyer', who was standing behind Hardius, aroused in her a fear that went beyond fear.
What will happen if his mother finds out about this?
Just thinking about it made Emilia's body tremble.
She doesn't want to be 'Camellia Lady'.
Emilia hugged Charlotte's shoulders tightly. Unlike her gently patting hands, her eyes staring into space were cold and dry.
“Do you remember, Charlotte? That ‘gift from God’ story that your sister told you about.”
Charlotte nodded.
“A future with you can never be happy. I can’t handle it, and I don’t want to handle it.”
“You just hate it? Can’t you think positively about it?”
"Yes."
Faced with such a decisive answer, Charlotte gave up her last hope.
“You know what the worst thing is? Master Meyer knows better than anyone else. If he had respected me, he wouldn’t have let things get to this point. That’s why it’s even worse. That person really... knows everything, but he still does things like that without any plan...”
He is a very self-centered person and cannot empathize with the suffering of others.
If he really wanted to make her the 'Duchess of Meyer', he would not have left her in such a desolate state for the past five years.
What happened so far was almost a tragedy caused by impulse and lust.
The fiancée he was planning to throw away somehow caught his eye, and since she didn't come into his hands as easily as he thought, he became so absurdly obsessed with her.
Naturally, you are more attracted to things that are difficult to obtain.
Hardius Meyer is a monster that only shines when viewed from afar, but when seen up close, he cannot control himself and burns himself.
If she stays close, not only she but also her precious family will burn to ashes.
Emilia clasped her hands together in prayer.
“You're too important to me, and I don't want to hurt you even a little bit.”
The strange thrill she had felt in front of Raina was pounding her heart again.
“I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want to be swayed or dragged around. I don’t want to think about someone and cry, and I definitely don’t want to sharpen my sword of revenge. Your sister just wants to... live happily and enjoyably. In a world where people willingly accept and welcome me.”
The carriage ran for a while longer and finally arrived at the entrance to the forest.
The tree cave, once filled with only green, was now shedding its fresh clothes and entering a colorful path of maturity.
***
"Master!"
Pip's voice resonated through the quiet cottage. Hardius looked down at the stallion running wildly beyond the lattice window. Pip ran quickly and stood before his master.
“The feeder is empty! It’s completely empty!”
Hardius nodded slightly.
“What can you do when you're hungry? You have to eat first, regardless of your pride. It seems that letting him wander around the garden as he pleased worked. I guess both stray cats and people have to live according to their nature.”
Pip's face, which had been approaching with a smile, suddenly hardened. This was because there was a bottle of alcohol on the table.
“...I sent a letter to Miss Bern’s sister as you instructed. I said that the cat is eating well and living well.”
“Yeah, good job.”
Hardius poured the drink. Pip could barely suppress the nagging feeling on the tip of his tongue as he watched him empty the glass in one gulp.
He had to return to Nowak in two days. The young master's schedule was extremely tight, as he had been away for a month.
He has a meeting with the Meyer Steel executives right now. He has to check the pile of invitations and visiting cards at Basilion House, and he has to stop by Kramwitz to see Mrs. Meyer.
First of all, finally, he met Miss Bianca Leichnen.
Mr. Grojean strongly urged that the young master take good care of his health over the weekend.
But how can he just drink alcohol while feeling the cold wind all over his body?
“Mastet, the weather is quite chilly, so let’s stop now...”
“Pip.”
The sudden, affectionate voice calling out to him drowned out his nagging.
“Tell me what you think.”
"Yes?"
“If I leave them to live freely and freely, will they really come back?”
Pip, who was confused, realized that his master was talking about a cat.
“Of course. That’s exactly how he should live. Just feed him well. Animals never forget the person who feeds them.”
A faint smile appeared on the lips holding the glass. It was an empty smile that made even the onlookers feel lonely.
“So what if he can find food on his own? Then he won’t have to look for someone to feed him anymore. What should I do then?”
Pip thought, "Oops."
How foolish of me to make such a mistake...
The owner is not talking about the cat now.
It was clear that his eyes were contemplating something other than a cat.
“Now that I hear you, what you said is right. Someone like you should lock him up and take him. In fact, only people like me who have nothing do things like feeding him and taking care of him. Aren’t you someone who has everything? You can just lock him up and take it. It doesn’t matter.”
“You’re talking exactly like that guy.”
“Who is it?”
“My grandfather.”
Pip felt a bit smug at the fact that his predecessor, Meyer, and he, a mere novice, had said the same thing.
“Anyway, leave him to me. I will tame that ungrateful kitten so well that he will crawl into the villa on his own two feet. That is why I am inviting back that one-eyed... no, Miss Bern’s younger sister.”
Hardius laughed again. Pip could tell that his master was very drunk. A cold wind blew, chilling Pip's body.
“It’s cold, Young Master. Would you like to come in?”
"Yes."
As he said that, his gaze turned to the sky again. Pip realized that his master wanted to be alone. He had no choice but to quietly leave the terrace again.
Hardius, now alone, poured the last of the liquor left in the bottle. Looking down at the rippling amber liquid, he felt like he was falling into it. His dizzying vision made him feel like the sky was going to fall down. Was it just the sky? His brain, heart, and even his internal organs seemed to be melting away.
How many days has he been a drunkard?
And yet, he drank the last glass in one gulp.
That way, he could get some shut-eye, even if only for a little while.
It seemed that only then would he be able to shake off the woman who had taken over his head and never left him for even a moment.
Unable to overcome his impatience, he dared to mention Duchess Meyer. So hastily and impatiently.
He still can't do anything about his own mother.
'I'll hate you more. I'll hate you so much, I'll just be an empty shell.'
He has no regrets in his dictionary, so it doesn't matter what she says.
But why am I so anxious and afraid?
What else should I do to keep you in the future?
How viciously do I have to lie and harass you?
“If I leave you alone... will you come back?”
The low voice cannot reach the empty space and seeps into the darkness.
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