The cat will never appear again.
Hardius remembered clearly the moment he had held the small creature in his arms. The throbbing pulse beneath its warm skin was filled with fear.
Is there anything more terrifying than fear? The cat would rather starve to death than show himself.
Yet Hardius was still stirring up the whole house. The act of searching itself became his goal, and he couldn't stop this ridiculous act.
What woke him from his hazy consciousness was the sound of thunder coming from afar.
Hardius opened the shutters of the large windows. Rainwater was running down the drain.
Suddenly, Emilia came to mind.
She is a woman who disobeys so badly that he would never be with Charlotte. She would be wandering around the bushes without even realizing that the hem of her skirt was getting wet.
He quickly grabbed his umbrella and headed into the garden.
He followed the exact same course as Emilia, from the fountain to the tree-lined street to the pond.
About halfway across the cloud bridge, he found her taking shelter from the rain under a pavilion.
Emilia was absentmindedly chasing the rainwater with both hands on the railing. Her long, thin fingers tucked her short hair into her ears, revealing her deep, mature eyes and clear lips.
Was it that beautiful?
Hardius couldn't help but laugh at himself as he glanced at her beautiful side profile.
Emilia Berne was no different from his father, Guicille. Neither of them would ever let go, no matter how hard they tried.
But why can't he give up?
Why does he hold his heart and make it still burn when he could have so easily and simply thrown it away?
Hardius crossed the bridge and climbed the pavilion steps. He had walked without caution, so he could not have missed the presence of people. But Emilia never turned her head.
The two stood shoulder to shoulder without even glancing at each other.
Under the eaves of the hut, the only thing that narrowed the gap between them was the endless pouring rain. The sky began to rumble several times, and it was Emilia who broke the long silence first.
“I believe you now. You said that you would do your best for our family regardless of me.”
“Why did you suddenly change your mind?”
“Well, is it because of the cat? I’m not sure.”
The voice that mutters as if talking to a soliloquy is harshly cold.
“After coming to that conclusion, I had a very strange thought. About my stepmother’s debt. I thought that day was completely your work, but like Madame Luen’s ball, I foolishly overlooked it all by myself, and maybe you were the one who instigated it...”
Emilia squinted her eyes as if recalling the events on the terrace.
“Am I right?”
Hardius didn't hesitate, since she would find out eventually anyway.
“Yeah. It wasn’t me. I didn’t even know your mother had a debt until you showed up with your hair cut.”
The hand that was holding the railing trembled for a moment and then quickly became limp.
“What about other debts? You didn’t have any of those either?”
“What does my answer matter? It won’t make any difference now.”
Hardius answered indifferently and turned his gaze straight ahead again. Emilia stared at the leaves swaying in the wind and rain with a look of emptiness.
“I just left you to believe that... Your mother didn’t have any other debts... I didn’t even know that... You showed up with your hair cut off...”
Her pale breath, full of emptiness and self-reproach, spread through the raindrops.
“In the end, it was my fault. There’s no one to blame. The young master deceived me by not telling me the truth.”
Hardius swallowed a bitter smile.
He wished she would look at him favorably at least once. Like a Prince who came to save her.
But Emilia was not a fairy tale Princess waiting for a Prince, and what he did was far from what a Prince would do.
Hardius waited for the next question, wondering how much he should reveal.
Fortunately or unfortunately, Emilia didn't ask any further questions. She just let out a short sigh, as if she had come to a conclusion about her brother's problem on her own.
“That’s right, nothing will change now. I was foolish, and you took advantage of that. Those two things ruined our relationship. No matter what, I... will never forget for the rest of my life. That miserable, shameful moment when I took my own clothes off.”
Hardius did not deny it.
It was a deception and a trick, and they used it to have a non-consensual relationship.
To make matters even more horrifying, he says he has no regrets at all. If he could turn back time, he would do the same thing.
Emilia would never allow the name Meyer to be used. As soon as she was given wings, she would fly away to a place far beyond his reach.
No, maybe he should give up that tiny, insignificant space called 'friendship'.
What a fucking friendship.
Just thinking about her, speaking of loyalty with a fresh face, makes his blood boil.
“You know what? I thought I would be living my dream as a bookkeeper at Cavendish Manor, helping Mr. Haspel. But everything has gone to shit. Regardless of whose fault it is, I really resent you and your family.”
“...”
“People will never believe it. How much I hate your world. Have you ever been treated like a burden by people who don’t even treat you like a human being? Some people who like to show generosity will occasionally include me as a favor, but why should I be satisfied with just those crumbs? I don’t need them at all.”
“...”
“Do you know what’s really regrettable? It’s the fact that I always had feelings for you. I pretended not to, but I had feelings for my fiancé in name only. If you hadn’t done that... you might have been remembered as a really good person, and as a fond memory...”
Contrary to Emilia's expectations, Hardius's last words sounded as horrible as the word 'friendship'. It would be better to be a 'horrible man' who gives pleasure by mixing bodies than to be a 'good person'.
Emilia roughly patted the water droplets on the railing as if trying to control her anger. Then she raised her head again as if something had occurred to her.
“...I saw Moria. Over there.”
A cold finger pointed somewhere in the bushes.
“Please bring him food and water. He will eat it on his own.”
"...Yes."
The sound of thunder was heard faintly once again.
Emilia opened her mouth again as if talking to herself, quietly gazing at the low clouds hanging over the mountain ridge.
“...Why does it rain so heavily whenever I meet you, Master?”
Hardius looked up at the sky.
Now that he thinks about it, it's always been like that.
It was clear, then cloudy, then bright, then dark.
The colorful, changing sky always reminded him of Emilia.
The brilliant sunlight that made her shine the brightest will no longer be seen, because Hardius has completely taken it away.
And yet Emilia was beautiful. So horribly that he couldn't even breathe...
“The order is wrong.”
If it had been the previous Emilia, she would have widened her eyes as if asking what was going on, but now she never did that.
“It’s raining that I come to you. I can’t stand it when it rains. I danced with you on rainy days, and you knelt before me on rainy days. It’s really fucking weather. It drives me crazy.”
Emilia gripped the railing tightly and tried not to blush.
But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the contradictory heat rising to her ears. The rain poured down briskly, as if mocking the man and woman who were settling down in the darkness.
“That’s funny. If someone heard me, they’d think I was confessing to something.”
“It’s a confession.”
If not that, then what?
Hardius stared at Emilia with such eyes.
“No, don’t wrap it like that.”
“Unfortunately, Emilia, everything I shared with you is already so beautifully packaged in my head. Should I tell you something even more horrible?”
Blue eyes swung toward him without his knowledge.
For the first time since they met, the man and woman's eyes met directly.
“I plan to continue packaging and embellishing as much as I can in the future. I still do that now.”
The man's hand slowly reached out. Emilia couldn't avoid it.
No, did you avoid it? I don't know. Everything was a complete mess.
“Nothing changes. I keep stretching you like this...”
The man's fingers pressed hard against her tightly closed lips, causing them to open slightly. Thin gasps scattered in confusion along with her pale breath.
“I’ll do whatever I want.”
A long finger actually entered her mouth. It was a very gentle and careful intrusion, unlike the lewd and rough words.
A little rainwater and clean fingers that had no taste were filled with the scent of a man.
Emilia lost her will and let the man continue his lewd acts. Her breathing became rapid. A strange sensation, both painful and ticklish, ran through her tongue and made her whole body tingle. Just before a lewd moan burst out, Emilia barely managed to twist her head and push the man away.
“I met a girl similar to me yesterday.”
“Similar woman?”
“The government. A woman who sells her body.”
Hardius answered with a cold, insignificant smile, but his eyes were burning with fierce anger.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want a government? If I really wanted a government, you would have been under my thumb a long time ago.”
“No, that’s what the young master wants in the end. The government.”
Emilia bit her lip in denial, and he grabbed her chin. His fingers reached out and pulled the lip that was crushed between his teeth. Then he stroked it a little roughly.
“Yes. You want to believe that. That’s how you feel safe. But Emilia, no man in the world gives a ring to a government twice.”
Emilia's heart skipped a beat and started beating dizzily. Her body didn't sway at all, but it felt like she was tightrope.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know.”
“No, I don’t know.”
The hand that had been as light as the spring breeze suddenly changed and roughly grabbed her thin, white neck. A gasp escaped Emilia’s mouth, and blood gushed to the top of her head.
She remembered the sadistic figure holding the kitten's small body as if he were going to kill it. Emilia continued to stare at him with cold eyes, panting heavily.
“Why are you so cruel?”
“...Cruel? Me?!”
“Yes, you already know what I want. Even the fact that I can’t promise it, that I can’t even bring myself to say it.”
“Stop talking nonsense! What on earth do you want?!”
The man's eyes shook wildly.
“Duchess Meyer, my wife. As you know.”
Lightning flashed before her eyes.
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