I stood on the floor on both legs, straightening my back as straight as I could.
A sharp pain spread from my knees to my back. Apparently, there was something wrong when I fell.
I wanted to sit down right away, but I pretended to be nonchalant and looked straight up at my biological father.
It was the first time in almost half a year that er had seen each other. Even that was all that I saw from a distance. It was as if I were facing someone else.
It seemed that the same was true of the man in front of me. The Emperor, who was showing signs of discomfort, looked away and said.
"I heard that you went through a hard time."
His voice was monotonous, as if he were talking about someone else.
"You even got scratches on your body."
I put hostility in my eyes.
This man was like a living person. I was furious that such a person would be Insensitive to my dishonesty.
"Did you call me because you were curious about that?"
I smiled sharply and lightly touched the hem of my skirt, and added mockingly.
"Would you like to see what kind of scratches have been made on my body?"
The man's thick eyebrows contended.
Contrary to the expectation of a ferocious roar, Beerus Roem Guerta stared at my face with his mouth shut. It was as if he had seen his daughter's face for the first time in his life.
"I don't think I have to check it with my own eyes."
The man who spoke bluntly turned his attention to Barcas this time. His eyes were filled with all kinds of complicated thoughts, and a sense of anxiety crept in.
Why did he summon me and Barcas at the same time?
I glared at him with a suspicious look, but the Emperor, who had been languishing for a while, suddenly uttered a word of reproach.
"Barcas Raedgo Sheerkan, I have trusted you and entrusted the safety of my children. And the result is right in front of my eyes."
I felt my blood cool all over my body.
The Emperor tapped the handle of the chair with his fingertips and then spoke in a heavy tone.
"The Second Princess has not only been mortally wounded by your failed escort, but has also suffered permanent damage to her body. Do you accept that you are responsible for this?"
Barcas's gaze touched me for a moment, then moved away.
"I admit it."
There was no emotion in his voice.
There was no resentment, no guilt, and no sign of swallowing excuses. It was a very calm voice, as if he were stating the facts as they were.
"I will take any punishment sweetly."
I took a step forward without realizing it.
Barcas is not at fault.
I tried to shout that, but I kept my mouth shut.
Is there really nothing wrong with it?
I looked down at my legs, which had begun to twitch faintly, and then turned my attention back to his face. The image of him running with his back to me was superimposed on it. Perhaps the sight, which I will never forget for the rest of my life, took every word from me.
"You admit it so readily, so you must be talking fast."
The Emperor let out a heavy sigh.
"The marriage between the Emperor and the second Princess broke down due to this accident. It will probably be difficult to find a marriage worthy of the imperial family in the future. She is such a flawed child..."
The Emperor spoke as if I were not there, glanced once at my pale, tired face, and continued slowly.
"You have to take responsibility for it. Break off your marriage with Ayla Roem Guirta and take the Second Princess Talia Roem Guirta as your wife."
I held my breath.
I didn't fully understand what I had heard, but looked up at the Emperor's face with blank eyes, then turned to Senevere.
Above her face was a smile like a snake swallowing its prey.
Suddenly, my hair bones became soft, and sweat oozed out of my whole body.
I didn't dare to check Barkas' expression, so I lowered my head.
Barcas cannot accept such a deterrence.
He was the son of a Prince.
Even the Emperor had no right to make such demands on the successor of the Grand Duke of the East.
Of course, he will veto it.
I gripped the hem of my robe tightly with trembling hands.
After a few seconds, he spoke.
"If Her Highness the 2nd Princess agrees, I will do so."
I lifted my head.
He looked down at me as if piercing me, adding each word slowly as if rolling on the tip of his tongue.
"I will take Your Highness as my wife."
For a moment, my heart stopped.
I stared at his lips with eyes that were out of my head.
Really, were the words that came out of his mouth true?
Maybe I heard auditory hallucinations?
Yes. Clearly. I heard nothing.
There is no way that Barcas said that he would marry me.
"Yes, Prince."
The Emperor's muffled voice brought my confused consciousness to reality.
"If you agree, the position of Grand Duchess Sheerkhan will be yours. Now, what should I do?"
There was a strong cynicism in his volce.
It was then that I realized that the Emperor wanted me to refuse.
He is making this proposal because of the Empress's back, but deep down, he must not want his illegitimate daughter to be married to Ayla's confidant.
Maybe Barcas is saying something like that, expecting that I will make a fuss about not liking him.
Do you know? I'm sure so.
Suddenly, my mind calmed down.
If I agree, the man I have longed for all my life will take over.
But did I really want that?
I looked down at my legs, which I had hidden under the hem of my robe.
Just the thought of showing this body to him made my intestines twist.
If I ever see disgust or rejection on his face, I will not be able to maintain my sanity. From here, it may break down and collapse even more.
I raised my eyes again and looked at him.
He was a man who always ignored me and turned his back on me.
The man who saved Ayla, not me.
A man who won't love me even if I die.
Can I live with such a man for the rest of my life? Do I really want to crawl into that pain?
"I, I ..."
I opened my lips tightly.
I can't stand that. I didn't want to hurt myself anymore.
Just as I was about to say that, I saw Senevere's face with a smile on her face.
Her eyes were quietly warning me that she would never forgive me if I let her down.
My stomach tightened painfully.
"I..."
I alternated between Barcas's face, the Emperor's face, and Senevere's face. Their faces were mixed up in a mess.
I felt a strong dizziness and rested my head.
Before I knew it, my forehead was drenched with sweat. I wiped it off with my sleeve, but the beads of sweat that dripped down my face soaked into my eyelids.
As I wiped it off nervously, my vision suddenly fluctuated, and my legs collapsed.
I took a heavy breath at the impact that hit my body.
A distant scream sounded. Senevere's handmaidens seemed to be mending themselves.
I lay face down on the floor, straining my frost-soaked vision. Behind the curtain, Barcas's face was dimly visible.
The fact that his face looks paler than usual is an Illusion created by my foolish love.
Yes. I suppose so.
Isn't he the one who didn't feel any agitation when he saw me in a mess? Why would he get tired of being a fly because of me?
Fatigue suddenly set in.
***
I, who struggled to keep him in my dim vision, soon let go of everything.
The news that the marriage between the next Grand Duke and the First Princess had broken down, and that the Second Princess had taken her place, spread throughout the imperial palace.
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