I wonder if I thought it was so strange to wake up in the middle of the night.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm my beating heart. However, the feeling of suffocation only got stronger.
I, who was struggling to push air into the narrowed airway, couldn't stand the suffocation and stood up.
My leg was splinted with pain, but 8 couldn't cover my front and back because I was about to pass out. I almost rolled down from the carriage and staggered a way, my mouth wide open to suck in the air.
Eventually, I was able to spot a flickering light not far away. Feeling relief radiate deep through my chest, I dragged my stiff, cramping legs toward the large campfire barracks.
At that moment, a cheerful voice mixed with mockery came to the wind.
"She has been punished."
I stopped in my tracks.
The woman sitting in front of the fire was chattering loudly, picking up firewood with a long branch.
"You all know that. She cursed Her Royal Highness the First Princess, and she also broke into her birthday banquet and did something wrong!"
The maid's voice rose with excitement.
I carefully tore open her face exposed by the light. Judging from her unfamiliar appearance, she seemed to be Ayla or Gareth's attendant.
The maid raised her glass and moistened her mouth for a while, and then excitedly teased her tongue again.
"Clearly. God has punished her. Her curse has come back to her, so it's all for herself!"
"I heard that she might be crippled, but is it true?"
"There's a high probability of that! I heard from the maid who attends the 2nd Princess, that her leg bones were completely shattered and had to be put together for hours like a puzzle."
I flinched and looked down at my legs.
The woman's voice is slightly lowered.
"They said she even got horrible scars on her body? Her skin was completely distorted, and they couldn't remove it neatly even with magic. It's so disgusting."
"I won't see her wandering around the Imperial Palace anymore."
"I suppose so. Her only pride is scratched! How can you have a body like that and smoke like before?"
Laughter erupted everywhere as if it were ugly.
I, who had been standing in a daze, dragged my legs behind the woman.
The faces of those who found my shadows became contemplative. However, the woman who was chatting excitedly had not yet noticed my presence. The woman kept talking.
"It's like she's blocked now. A crippled woman from an illegitimate family... Aaaah!"
Suddenly, the woman with her hair bent let out a shriek.
I pulled her hair in a tight braid without paying attention. When she saw my face, her skin turned white with shock and horror.
Staring down at her, I gently raised the corners of my mouth.
"Why, don't you keep talking?"
"I, Your Highness..."
"What is so scary about a crippled woman who was born out of wedlock?"
The woman's eyes widened. A harsh cry erupted from between her lips, which had been smirking until just now.
"Now, I made a mistake, Your Highness. I have sinned so greatly..."
"What crime have you committed?"
"I, I..."
The woman's lips were trembling, and she continued with difficulty.
"I insulted Your Highness, the Princess, with my disrespectful words. Oh, please be generous, forgive me..."
"If you do something wrong, you should be punished. Why do you think about being forgiven?"
The woman's complexion was almost ashen now.
I, staring down at her bluish face, turned my head to scan the crowd around the fire.
The maids, who were frozen like mice in front of a snake, ducked flat. I spotted the knight tense in the middle of it and made a light gesture.
"Come here."
The knight hesitated for a moment, but then stepped in front of me with a reluctant stride.
I pulled her hair down and knelt in front of the knight.
"You insulted the imperial family with three tongues, so you should make them pay the price. Now, grab your knife and do your job."
The knight's shoulders were visibly stiff.
A breathless cry was now coming out of the woman's mouth. The knight looked down at her with a dark expression and bent down deeply with one hand on his chest.
"Your Highness, there is a shortage of manpower just to prepare for the funeral and take care of the injured. If the execution were carried out at such a time, there would be unnecessary disturbances. So please, let go of your anger..."
"Are you going to disobey my orders now?"
Keeping his mouth shut, the knight lowered his head even deeper.
I, who laughed at the silent sign of agreement. Immediately contorted my face.
"If you can't do it, I'll do it."
I, who had let go of the woman's hair like a slap, rushed at the knight. Surprised by the unexpected action, the man reflexively grabbed my shoulder. I glared at him with angry eyes.
"How dare you touch my body!"
The man hurriedly removed his hand as if it had caught fire. Without missing a beat, I grabbed the hilt of the sword hanging from his waistband.
But the long swords they used were heavier than expected, and my legs were so vulnerable that they couldn't even fully support my weight. As I drew the sword, I lost my focus and collapsed to the ground.
A terrible silence fell over the ugly ugliness.
I looked up, clutching my twitching leg.
The knights and maids filled the field of vision.
Old memories swirled through my mind. Dozens of pairs of cold eyes stared down at me as I lay helplessly on the vomit. The shame, humiliation, and primal fear of that day revived and burned my brain.
I rested on the floor with trembling hands and jumped up to my feet. I wanted to get up and assert my dignity and authority as a Princess, but my legs wouldn't budge.
I tried to straighten my legs that weren't moving on their own, but I found a woman staring at me from a distance, and my face hardened.
The woman who had been mocking me was now watching me crawl on the floor.
We cannot allow such a thing.
I fumbled on the floor and picked up a piece of wood from the flames. The heat seemed to burn my fingers, but the pain in my body could not be worse than the pain of my crushed pride.
I slammed the woman in the face with blazing firewood.
A squawk erupted.
Not satisfied with that, I was about to swing the firewood once more when a dark shadow emerged from the darkness and snatched my body.
I writhed like an angry beast. Then I smelled a familiar scent and stopped all movement. Barcas, who had wrapped his arms around me, was looking down at me with a cold gaze.
Caught in his gaze, I breathed heavily, when he snatched the firewood from my hand and threw it away. Just as he had taken away my sword the other day, he had robbed me of my weapons again.
I was furious.
This man is not always on my side.
He won't fight for me, and he won't let me protect myself.
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