The kiss dragged on helplessly. Amelia realized who the intruder was and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Their two bodies moved as if they were dancing, entangled as one. Their movements stopped when Amelia's legs caught the bed and she fell on it.
The lips that had been persistently seeking her parted, and their foreheads met. Amelia stared blankly at the darker green and reached out her hand. Ivan, who had been stepping on the bed with his waist and arms to avoid leaning his weight on Amelia, rubbed his cheek against Amelia’s round palm without hesitation.
“Ivan.”
Amelia whispered Ivan's name. Ivan did not answer. But the gaze pouring down her face whispered silently that he was listening.
“...”
But she couldn't speak. She was confused. Where should she start and where should she end her conversation? There were so many things she wanted to ask Ivan when she met him that it felt like they were all stuck in my throat.
“...I missed you.”
So that was all she could say. Feelings of overwhelming emotion surged through her, and Amelia found herself biting her lip.
"I know."
Ivan answered. It was a concise answer, but it didn't sound like he was trying to beat around the bush without knowing what he meant. There was a clear conviction in his words.
“Why didn’t you come back?”
Amelia asked, sounding resentful.
“Why, I live thinking you’re dead...”
Because the pain of the moments when shr thought Ivan was dead came to mind.
She should have held out on her own and disappeared as if she were there and not there, but she dragged him in and ended up killing him, too. If shr had known this feeling a little earlier, instead of instinctively sensing the end and hiding it, she could have whispered to him first.
I like you. I love you.
After Ian was born, there were countless things she couldn't say to Ivan that prickled her throat like thorns.
“I thought you would die without a trace. I thought I would never see you like this again...”
A transparent tear stream began to flow down Amelia's temple. Her face, which did not hide her sorrow, was fragile and pitiful. It had only been a year, but her childlike appearance had completely disappeared. Whether it was because of the passage of time or because of her emotional distress, Ivan had no way of knowing.
“After that, it was difficult to enter the temple again.”
“...”
“Any priest who acted in a way that was even slightly against customs was expelled and kicked out, so it was impossible to borrow their status badges.”
Ivan made his excuses step by step. There was no room for nitpicking.
“And I went to the temple, hiding my existence.”
Ivan paused for a moment. Ivan knew what she didn't know. He knew everything Amelia wanted to know about him.
Why did he approach her falsely? Why did he spend the night with her? Why did he not come back, and why did he suddenly come to the temple and take Ian away?
“It was to find the temple’s weakness.”
His shining eyes stared straight into Amelia's dwarf ones. It seemed as if he wanted to read Amelia's reaction to those words.
“I hate temples. I hate Priestesses even more.”
“...Why, why?”
Ivan continued speaking without taking his gaze off her. Amelia stuttered without realizing it and grabbed Ivan’s strong arm next to her head with her hand.
“The temple has been using the existence of the Priestess to oppose the imperial family. They say that the immortal being, who is the representative of the gods, supports the will of the great nobles.”
Ivan whispered. It was the first time Amelia had heard of this. All Amelias, including herself, had simply received 'orders' and 'carried them out'. Even those were all orders in a truncated form, so they didn't even know what they meant.
“So the day we first met, I went to kill you.”
Her heart sank. Amelia's breathing became shaky and irregular, and her chest began to shake irregularly. She was worried that Ivan might still think of her in that way.
“I thought I would find out if I stabbed you in the heart to see if you were truly immortal.”
On the subject of such words, Ivan's face became expressionless. Amelia was now really beginning to feel a faint fear.
“...”
Ivan's gaze turned to the small hand that was holding his wrist and beginning to tremble.
“You can tell by looking at what’s happening now. I couldn’t do that.”
It seemed that it couldn't be done now. Ivan's soft voice seemed to be the key to breaking the curse. The stiff tension flowing down Amelia's neck and shoulders disappeared at once.
"Why?"
“I guess you knew it would turn out like this.”
Ivan answered. His voice sounded somewhat self-deprecating. It was a voice that answered all of Amelia's questions.
“So that’s why.”
It was because of Ivan's feelings for her. Otherwise, nothing could explain the irrationality they had committed.
“So you took Ian and our child, too. Right?”
Amelia asked with tears in her eyes. In fact, the answer didn't matter. Amelia had already decided on the expected answer in her head. Even if he had given a different answer, she would have heard it that way anyway.
"...Yes."
Ivan answered a beat late. But Amelia felt that this was enough of an answer. Ivan pressed their foreheads together as if expressing his affection. Amelia smiled, unable to hide her relief.
“I believed it.”
“...”
“Louis told me that the Emperor hates me, so you must hate me too. He said that he took Ian to use him, but I believed that was not true.”
She was just happy. Her expectations and faith in Ivan were not in vain. That was all she could think about as a young lady who had never met many people and had no eye for judging the people who approached her.
“I thought it was right to wait until you told me. Everything I heard from anyone but you was wrong.”
Amelia said, sobbing. She had heard from Aaron twice that Ivan had died, but none of it was true. Ivan was alive and well, and he was right before her eyes.
“I’ll get you out of the temple soon. Just pretend not to notice me for a moment until I call for help. It won’t take that long.”
“Anyway. I’ll do whatever you want.”
And at the root of all his inexplicable actions was the intention to free Amelia herself from the temple.
"I like you."
The moment she realized that fact again, Amelia couldn't control her emotions and poured out her feelings. The affection that had been building up in her heart because she had never been able to express it before.
“Ivan, you are my salvation.”
“...”
"I love you."
The moment Amelia revealed her true feelings, Ivan smiled quietly. It was clearly not a rejection, but it was ambiguous as a return for her feelings.
However, Ivan lowered his head before Amelia could press him for an answer.
"What are you doing?"
“...”
“Ivan. Wait a minute.”
Amelia let out a small laugh. The kiss that had been pecked at each other's beaks quietly deepened. Amelia was lost in the gentle and soft kiss.
Twenty-one. An age when you don't know that your body may go, but your heart may not.
He doesn't think he was like that back then either. Ivan thought as he rested his head on the cushion and ruffled Amelia's hair as she slept. Her smooth shoulders, revealed by the moonlight after her clothes had been lowered several times, shone, but he didn't feel any particular sexual desire.
He was a human being with brains and reason. At least he wasn't so shameless as to spread the legs of a woman who had just given birth to his child three months ago.
“...”
But he doesn't have a conscience.
Ivan admitted that he was a man without conscience who would take advantage of a woman who had given birth to his child. He blinked as he chewed over the half-truths and half-lies he had told Amelia.
“After that, it was difficult to enter the temple again.”
That was a lie. Of course, many priests who had exceeded the standards of delinquency had deserted. There was no way to obtain their status badges again.
However, the temple did not particularly strengthen security because it was already thought that the apprentice priest named 'Ricky' had died. Amelia also fell into a state of lethargy and did not do anything noticeable. The reason Ivan did not meet Amelia was simply because he did not go.
“Because it had to be done...”
After hearing the news of Ivan's death, the guilt that had been pressing down on Amelia's chest over time. And the affection for the only person who had reached out to her.
So Ivan waited for those desperate feelings to ripen deliciously in the form of a tragic ending of love, which would cover up her suspicions about the suspicious events that had occurred around Amelia.
“I thought it was right to wait until you told me. Everything I heard from anyone but you was wrong.”
Ivan was sure that Amelia's words, which said that she had waited for him to explain himself even after hearing others' words, would not allow Amelia's blind heart to abandon him. She would not want to lose him again. She would not be able to ignore Ian, whom she had released into the world, any longer.
So what Ivan had in his hands was the most powerful weapon he and his child could wield against Amelia.
The lips that had been persistently seeking her parted, and their foreheads met. Amelia stared blankly at the darker green and reached out her hand. Ivan, who had been stepping on the bed with his waist and arms to avoid leaning his weight on Amelia, rubbed his cheek against Amelia’s round palm without hesitation.
“Ivan.”
Amelia whispered Ivan's name. Ivan did not answer. But the gaze pouring down her face whispered silently that he was listening.
“...”
But she couldn't speak. She was confused. Where should she start and where should she end her conversation? There were so many things she wanted to ask Ivan when she met him that it felt like they were all stuck in my throat.
“...I missed you.”
So that was all she could say. Feelings of overwhelming emotion surged through her, and Amelia found herself biting her lip.
"I know."
Ivan answered. It was a concise answer, but it didn't sound like he was trying to beat around the bush without knowing what he meant. There was a clear conviction in his words.
“Why didn’t you come back?”
Amelia asked, sounding resentful.
“Why, I live thinking you’re dead...”
Because the pain of the moments when shr thought Ivan was dead came to mind.
She should have held out on her own and disappeared as if she were there and not there, but she dragged him in and ended up killing him, too. If shr had known this feeling a little earlier, instead of instinctively sensing the end and hiding it, she could have whispered to him first.
I like you. I love you.
After Ian was born, there were countless things she couldn't say to Ivan that prickled her throat like thorns.
“I thought you would die without a trace. I thought I would never see you like this again...”
A transparent tear stream began to flow down Amelia's temple. Her face, which did not hide her sorrow, was fragile and pitiful. It had only been a year, but her childlike appearance had completely disappeared. Whether it was because of the passage of time or because of her emotional distress, Ivan had no way of knowing.
“After that, it was difficult to enter the temple again.”
“...”
“Any priest who acted in a way that was even slightly against customs was expelled and kicked out, so it was impossible to borrow their status badges.”
Ivan made his excuses step by step. There was no room for nitpicking.
“And I went to the temple, hiding my existence.”
Ivan paused for a moment. Ivan knew what she didn't know. He knew everything Amelia wanted to know about him.
Why did he approach her falsely? Why did he spend the night with her? Why did he not come back, and why did he suddenly come to the temple and take Ian away?
“It was to find the temple’s weakness.”
His shining eyes stared straight into Amelia's dwarf ones. It seemed as if he wanted to read Amelia's reaction to those words.
“I hate temples. I hate Priestesses even more.”
“...Why, why?”
Ivan continued speaking without taking his gaze off her. Amelia stuttered without realizing it and grabbed Ivan’s strong arm next to her head with her hand.
“The temple has been using the existence of the Priestess to oppose the imperial family. They say that the immortal being, who is the representative of the gods, supports the will of the great nobles.”
Ivan whispered. It was the first time Amelia had heard of this. All Amelias, including herself, had simply received 'orders' and 'carried them out'. Even those were all orders in a truncated form, so they didn't even know what they meant.
“So the day we first met, I went to kill you.”
Her heart sank. Amelia's breathing became shaky and irregular, and her chest began to shake irregularly. She was worried that Ivan might still think of her in that way.
“I thought I would find out if I stabbed you in the heart to see if you were truly immortal.”
On the subject of such words, Ivan's face became expressionless. Amelia was now really beginning to feel a faint fear.
“...”
Ivan's gaze turned to the small hand that was holding his wrist and beginning to tremble.
“You can tell by looking at what’s happening now. I couldn’t do that.”
It seemed that it couldn't be done now. Ivan's soft voice seemed to be the key to breaking the curse. The stiff tension flowing down Amelia's neck and shoulders disappeared at once.
"Why?"
“I guess you knew it would turn out like this.”
Ivan answered. His voice sounded somewhat self-deprecating. It was a voice that answered all of Amelia's questions.
“So that’s why.”
It was because of Ivan's feelings for her. Otherwise, nothing could explain the irrationality they had committed.
“So you took Ian and our child, too. Right?”
Amelia asked with tears in her eyes. In fact, the answer didn't matter. Amelia had already decided on the expected answer in her head. Even if he had given a different answer, she would have heard it that way anyway.
"...Yes."
Ivan answered a beat late. But Amelia felt that this was enough of an answer. Ivan pressed their foreheads together as if expressing his affection. Amelia smiled, unable to hide her relief.
“I believed it.”
“...”
“Louis told me that the Emperor hates me, so you must hate me too. He said that he took Ian to use him, but I believed that was not true.”
She was just happy. Her expectations and faith in Ivan were not in vain. That was all she could think about as a young lady who had never met many people and had no eye for judging the people who approached her.
“I thought it was right to wait until you told me. Everything I heard from anyone but you was wrong.”
Amelia said, sobbing. She had heard from Aaron twice that Ivan had died, but none of it was true. Ivan was alive and well, and he was right before her eyes.
“I’ll get you out of the temple soon. Just pretend not to notice me for a moment until I call for help. It won’t take that long.”
“Anyway. I’ll do whatever you want.”
And at the root of all his inexplicable actions was the intention to free Amelia herself from the temple.
"I like you."
The moment she realized that fact again, Amelia couldn't control her emotions and poured out her feelings. The affection that had been building up in her heart because she had never been able to express it before.
“Ivan, you are my salvation.”
“...”
"I love you."
The moment Amelia revealed her true feelings, Ivan smiled quietly. It was clearly not a rejection, but it was ambiguous as a return for her feelings.
However, Ivan lowered his head before Amelia could press him for an answer.
"What are you doing?"
“...”
“Ivan. Wait a minute.”
Amelia let out a small laugh. The kiss that had been pecked at each other's beaks quietly deepened. Amelia was lost in the gentle and soft kiss.
***
Twenty-one. An age when you don't know that your body may go, but your heart may not.
He doesn't think he was like that back then either. Ivan thought as he rested his head on the cushion and ruffled Amelia's hair as she slept. Her smooth shoulders, revealed by the moonlight after her clothes had been lowered several times, shone, but he didn't feel any particular sexual desire.
He was a human being with brains and reason. At least he wasn't so shameless as to spread the legs of a woman who had just given birth to his child three months ago.
“...”
But he doesn't have a conscience.
Ivan admitted that he was a man without conscience who would take advantage of a woman who had given birth to his child. He blinked as he chewed over the half-truths and half-lies he had told Amelia.
“After that, it was difficult to enter the temple again.”
That was a lie. Of course, many priests who had exceeded the standards of delinquency had deserted. There was no way to obtain their status badges again.
However, the temple did not particularly strengthen security because it was already thought that the apprentice priest named 'Ricky' had died. Amelia also fell into a state of lethargy and did not do anything noticeable. The reason Ivan did not meet Amelia was simply because he did not go.
“Because it had to be done...”
After hearing the news of Ivan's death, the guilt that had been pressing down on Amelia's chest over time. And the affection for the only person who had reached out to her.
So Ivan waited for those desperate feelings to ripen deliciously in the form of a tragic ending of love, which would cover up her suspicions about the suspicious events that had occurred around Amelia.
“I thought it was right to wait until you told me. Everything I heard from anyone but you was wrong.”
Ivan was sure that Amelia's words, which said that she had waited for him to explain himself even after hearing others' words, would not allow Amelia's blind heart to abandon him. She would not want to lose him again. She would not be able to ignore Ian, whom she had released into the world, any longer.
So what Ivan had in his hands was the most powerful weapon he and his child could wield against Amelia.
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