The more she listened to Karl's answer, the more her thoughts became tangled.
She doesn't want to make the wrong choice. She wants to save John, but Karl is precious to her. If saving John is the way to break her promise... She'd rather give up purification.
Odette doesn't know if love can be achieved through effort, but she knows that the beginning of love is to think about the other person's heart first. It's something she can work on, and it's something she has to work on at the same time.
It wasn't a promise she made with an easy heart. She didn't make a promise to reverse so easily. Odette is grateful to him, and she's sorry to him. She wants to give back her heart in some way... Why does she always make the wrong choice when it comes to love? Maybe she's not worthy of love.
In the end, all the problems are...
"Shhh, you don't have to think about anything."
Karl touched her cheek affectionately. With a soothing voice, her thoughts were cut off at once. Her mind went quiet, as if it had stopped.
The strength of John's fingers grew stronger as he gripped her knuckles. Odette and John's voices calling out to her as if he was worried about her were all strangely distant.
The chirping of birds and the sound of leaves fluttering in the wind disappeared as if they were in a vacuum. As her senses dulled and her thoughts became monotonous, the weight of anxiety that had suppressed Odette instantly diminished.
"I don't want you to blame yourself. Just focus on your heart."
Only Karl's sweet voice could be heard clearly. His expression was as calm as a sinking lake. As if he could not make a ripple out of her, no matter what kind of crazy answer she came up with. As if he would not be cut or hurt, no matter what conclusion she draws.
"But..."
Odette reflexively uttered those words, and her mind wandered through her mind. But, but... What? There were certainly so many rebuttals, but she couldn't think of them after that.
'My mind felt like the most perfect blank paper in the world.'
Ethics, morality, faithfulness, and conscience. It felt as if the things that were supposed to work in her mind had stopped functioning. Like, no, and so on, all the raw emotions that could be spit out of her mouth floated around her mind.
"But?"
Is it because she only has a primal emotion left in her head? Karl's remarks sounded like soothing tone.
No matter how much she searched through her head, she couldn't come up with any thoughts about the party position. Odette ended up putting the most primitive form of emotion in her mouth.
"Karl, you're suffering... I don't like that..."
It was a crude expression, but it was also Odette's most honest sincerity. She didn't want to say it like a child. It was so raw and childish at the same time that she felt her face burn.
"..."
She doesn't think it was such a surprising statement. Odette's words made Karl's eyes flutter violently. It seemed as if endless ripples were being created on the calm surface. His expression didn't change much, but it was a rare expression of emotion for Karl.
"Don't you like me being in pain?"
Karl echoed Odette's words. She wanted to give a proper answer, but her head was still a blank slate.
Odette nodded silently, and a smile slowly spread across his lips. It was a jubilant smile that she had never thought would suit Karl.
"Nothing makes me suffer except your suffering."
In a daunting voice, Karl pressed his forehead against Odette's forehead.
"If today's choice makes you feel guilty and bitter in the future, that will make me the saddest the most."
"..."
"You are my god. So your choices are always completely right for me. It's just the wrong choice for you."
It's okay to be honest. Her choice is not wrong.
Perhaps self-confidence comes only when there is the first person who believes in oneself.
His words made Odette feel for the first time a firm sense of self-confidence take root in her heart.
His total faith made Odette believe in him.
Karl kissed Odette's forehead lightly. She looked up in surprise, but Karl was gone. Seeing that even Victor and Shion were gone, it seemed that Karl had left with them.
'Karl took care of me so that I could make an honest choice.'
As Karl disappeared, the sounds around her gradually became clearer. John's presence also became clear again.
What if she doesn't consider everything else, but only thinks about her heart?
Odette decided to think of only one thing. How did she feel at the moment of John's disappearance?
When she focused only on her mind, the answer was easily derived. Odette clasped John's fingers as if to bind his hand.
"It's all right? Do you have any regrets? "
John didn't ask her that way.
"It's okay. I won't let you regret it."
Instead, he replied with conviction. Odette bit John's lip. She could feel his trembling breath through her soft lips. A shallow kiss is no longer even the minimum stop-gap measure.
It was a matter that had already been decided. It would be even worse to clumsily purify with the same guilt.
Odette started it, but it was John who made it deeper. John's tongue carefully dug into Odette's mouth. Then he swallowed her lips.
A sloppy sound rang in Odette's ears. The more her heart fluttered at the tender kiss, the more she thought about Karl.
As if sensing her feelings. John's kiss became more insistent.
Odette didn't know.
'I think about myself the whole time.'
Seeing Odette kissing John and caring only about Karl, she saw how satisfied Karl was, smiling.
Everything turned out the way Karl had hoped.
***
Shion, who had been forcibly transferred to the patronage by Karl's power, twisted his mouth in absurdity.
"The quality is bad. No, should I say dirty in this case?"
Then he turned sarcastically to Karl. It was Shion's honest impression that he had seen everything he did until now.
Shion, who had felt a strange sense of exaltation as he shattered Karl's sphere, continued to rise to elevated status even after he was resurrected. Although he is not as stable as Karl, he is evolving into something more like a god than a monster of a god.
An unripe and clumsy god who was more at risk of disappearing within three months, but as he was a being beyond the Transcendent, his vision was also in a much higher dimension than the Transcendent. Thus, he was able to see through the truth beyond Karl's suspicious attitude.
What the hell does that bloody Karl want?
Karl's indifferent gaze was fixed on Shion.
"A jealous man is ugly. The Marquis of Kleist."
"I'll give it back to you. You ugly bastard."
Odette seemed to regard Karl's actions as a sacrifice, but in Shion's eyes, it was the opposite. Karl was so jealous of John that he decided to save him.
"..."
Look at that. Don't you keep your mouth shut as if you have been stabbed by the word 'jealousy'?
If John dies, compassionate Odette will eventually give her greatest heart to John. Her intense regret and guilt must have led to love.
Shion has been dealing with the power of mind control for a long time, so he is well aware of the changes in emotions that permeate unconsciously. Shion noticed the feelings that came from Odette's gestures, which she didn't even know herself.
If it had been her original destiny, Odette would have fallen in love with John the most. It could be compared to having the seed of fateful love.
Basically, among the transcendents with eccentric dispositions, John is unusually affectionate. Odette is easily moved by such kindness and often mistakes guilt for love. In other words, temperamentally, they are fantasy partners for each other.
However, any fateful love needed an opportunity to germinate properly. John's death was a decisive moment for Odette to realize her love for him.
In other words, Karl had just saved John with Odette's hand, completely trampling on the opportunity for germination.
'From John's point of view, it has become unjustified. For him, Odette's heart is a far greater joy than life.'
That despicable Karl must have seen a future in which Odette would love John. That's why he kept him alive by using such methods.
What Karl wanted was a piece of Odette's heart, the biggest of all. And Karl had no intention of giving the piece to John. Even if it's dead.
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