By the time Raphael's story ended, my eyes were swollen shut.
A love that blossomed delicately in a time I was unaware of.
It was a longer and more heartfelt story than I thought.
I never knew there was someone who loved me so much, even when I was at my lowest.
I wish I had known a little earlier that there was such a person, that maybe love could be like that.
"Stop crying now."
I liked Raphael's affectionate voice again.
A person who can show love to others even after going through all the hurt.
I thought I could love him like that forever.
However, I regret that I don't have any memories from when I was young.
Young Raphael must have been incredibly cute and adorable.
But after his mother's death, the shock caused him to forget most of his previous memories.
"I miss Mom."
I suddenly muttered. The mother in the story Raphael told was such a brave and affectionate person.
But now, I can't hug my mom like that or talk to her.
All I can do is live each day bravely.
So that when I see my mom again someday, I can tell her all the stories that have piled up in my head in a lively voice.
Raphael hugged me with his big arms as if he understood my feelings completely.
The embrace that had been cold but gave a sense of stability was now warm.
I felt a little proud of the difference, giggled, and dug deeper. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
***
"Uhm..."
I woke up with sleepy eyes and habitually looked for Raphael.
It seemed like it was still dawn, so I thought it would be better to hold him and sleep soundly.
But no matter how many times I swung my arms and felt around the bed, Raphael was nowhere to be found.
Only then did I notice his absence and get out of bed with a messy head.
"Raphael?"
Since there was no answer when I called his name, I guess he's not in the bedroom either.
Did he go to the office or the training ground this early? He probably didn't get much sleep yesterday because he was talking until almost dawn.
Thump, thud.
At that moment, a sound coming from outside the window pierced my ears clearly.
A light drizzle was falling. The moment I noticed that, I had a bad feeling about it.
Raphael said that he always felt unwell on rainy days, and he even had nightmares at night.
'Where on earth did you go?'
I quickly put on my coat to cover up my light clothing and left the room.
Finding him was not as difficult as I thought. As I passed the back door leading to the garden of the Grand Duke's residence, I saw a shadow so large that it was hard to ignore.
Was Raphael interested in admiring the garden?
I opened the door, tilting my head at the seemingly unrelated situation.
"Raphael?"
As expected, he was right. Perhaps because it was morning, his hair was slightly disheveled, and he was wearing a light shirt instead of a uniform.
It seemed as if he was looking into the distance, taking shelter from the rain under a small roof above the gate.
'But you're still handsome.'
I suppressed the smile that was spreading on its own and asked in a puzzled voice.
"What are you doing here? It's raining."
As soon as I arrived, I met his eyes as he turned his back. I could sense a hint of confusion on his face, and my curiosity grew even more.
"Was it uncomfortable to sleep with me? At this early hour?"
"How could that be, Enri?"
A casual joke gets the usual quick reply, but he hesitates to answer the question of why he is here.
I was about to leave the place, wondering if he had any concerns.
"If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay to take your time. I'll go first..."
Raphael grabbed my wrist tightly so that it didn't hurt and stopped me from walking.
"Stay with me, Enri."
Raphael finally opened his mouth as I looked up at him with bewildered eyes.
"I had the same dream every rainy day. I had that nightmare again today."
"..."
"But I had a feeling that this might be my last dream."
The man's voice was shaking so softly that it took careful listening to notice.
"Until now, when I opened my eyes, I couldn't remember the content of my dreams at all..."
I waited quietly for Raphael to continue speaking slowly.
"I saw you today."
I started to get a rough idea of what would happen next.
Raphael moistened his lips for a long time as if he were still tired.
"The image of you dying in my arms... That memory must have been so shocking that even black magic couldn't put it to sleep. That must be why it's been appearing in my dreams."
It felt like the last remaining gears were falling into place. I remembered talking to Raphael on our first night together after hearing him sleepily.
"Where are you now?"
"In the North, holding a dying woman in my arms."
My choice left such a big scar on you.
You must have been suffering for a long time in the swamp of that past that even I don't remember.
But now the nightmare is over, and the rain will subside.
"Are you okay?"
Raphael nodded to my question.
His eyes were still wet.
The thought was short. I took Raphael's hand and led him out onto the roof.
"...What are you doing? Enri, if you get caught in the rain, you'll catch a cold."
"What if I catch a cold? I don't have anything urgent to do anymore. It's not like I have a husband who has a limited time left!"
I said it as if it was no big deal and smiled even brighter on purpose.
"I won't have that dream again. I won't get sick every time it rains, so I can do more."
"..."
"Raphael, don't you know how nice it feels to read a book while drinking warm chocolate on a rainy day?"
He looked at me blankly.
"It's nice to warm up your body with a thick, simmered cream soup. It's also nice to smell the forest as it rains."
"It sounds like it would be really good."
"Yeah, so for now, let's go get some rain. It'll feel good, like I said before."
I pulled Raphael's arm with more force.
The man's body, which had not moved despite several attempts, finally began to move.
I ran outside, holding Raphael's hand tightly, smiling like a child going out to play a prank.
Every time I put my foot on the ground, a cool raindrop splashed onto my calf.
Soon after, I took off my coat and was wearing a thin purple one-piece dress.
So I went deep into the garden, to a place where no one passed by.
As morning approached, the sun was rising. But the raindrops continued to fall, sparkling in the sunlight. It was a drizzle.
In the wide fields, wild flowers that had grown luxuriantly without any human intervention were in full bloom.
It was such a beautiful sight. I ran around dancing in the rain and smelled the flowers.
I even threw myself into a clear puddle and splashed around.
Raphael's stiff expression gradually relaxed as he looked at me.
"Come quickly, Raphael!"
He also pretended not to be able to resist my advice and came closer.
"Dance together... Whew!"
Then, all of a sudden, he lifted my legs up into the air and hugged me.
"Is this fun?"
Raphael asked that and then started spinning the .e around as if he were playing with a child.
I felt dizzy because the speed and strength were different from when I was spinning on my own.
"Ugh, haha. Ha, ugh, stop!"
After running around so much, I was exhausted and just sat down on the grass.
How long has it been since we last laughed heartily in a space where there were just the two of us?
"..."
Looking at the flowers scattered everywhere, I suddenly remembered something to do and moved my hand.
Raphael came up to me and watched my hands fidgeting busily.
"What is this?"
"It's a crown. If you weave the stems like this, you can make a bracelet or a ring."
After hearing the explanation, Raphael started to move his hands as if he wanted to make something of his own. It was quite cute to see the big man holding the flower and fidgeting.
It was a low voice that broke the silence that had been there for a while.
"It was a wrong marriage from the start. No matter how scared I was that you would leave, I shouldn't have lied."
"..."
"Come to think of it, even before time went back, I was so busy hiding the situation that I never even made a proper proposal."
It was a voice that seemed to contain considerable regret. Our eyes met.
"This is my first time doing something like this, so I don't know how to say it. I'm sure it might sound pretty uncool..."
Raphael lowered his head and smiled slightly. His ears were turning as red as the rising sun.
"Marry me, Enri."
A ring made of fresh flowers was placed on the ring finger of my empty left hand.
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