Episode 96. Soot Kiss
I sat down hard, not because of his words, but because my legs gave out again.
I muttered quietly.
“Ah, damn it.”
“When the academy notified me of my acceptance, they said there was a real top student. But they couldn’t find one.”
Top student, that was unexpected. But now it was meaningless. I shook my head.
“I didn’t mean to fool anyone.”
“Then why? I’ve been wondering for a long time. As far as I know, Count Loire trusts and supports you. He wouldn’t have opposed your admission to the academy.”
The Countess’s threats and the despair of that day.
Memories of the past flashed through my mind, and I felt miserable.
But I didn’t want to hide it. I was exhausted, and I thought it was okay.
“I had to choose between the academy and my precious person. Now that I think about it, that was the day I first met you. The day I gave up on admission to the academy, and felt like the sky was falling.”
“Precious person?”
“Mother. The honor of the mother who gave birth to me. The honor of the Count...”
“No one should force such a choice.”
From his agitated tone, I felt that he had a rough idea of my life. However, there was no reason to say it out loud.
“I chose to protect my precious person. I am not ashamed of that.”
“...”
Prince Kydel hid his surprised face, looking at the eastern sky like me.
He blurted out.
“I was jealous of you.”
I stared at him, wondering, ‘What did I hear wrong?’
Then he looked at me again and smiled crookedly. He was handsome again.
“You aroused my suspicions.”
“...?”
“I was born as the eldest son of Kydel and grew up without any privileges. However, I did not want to become a person who benefited from my position. However, when I found out that I lost to someone like you who started out on your own with a foundation that was worse than nothing, I wondered if I had been lazy, if I had been arrogant...”
I tilted my head sharply. I could not understand a single word he said.
Is that Prince Locard Kydel jealous of me? Because no one in the world would be jealous?
If only he knew how much I admired him...
My voice was unintentionally dull.
“What on earth are you talking about? I don’t know what you are talking about. If you don’t experience how unfortunate it is to be in a position like yours and become such a humble and hard worker...!”
Then Prince Kydel snorted in absurdity.
For some reason, instead of snorting, I ended up snorting.
Then he laughed with his body. We made eye contact and laughed together. It was the kind of laughter that only two fools in the world could have.
Then I felt Prince Kydel’s warm hand cupping my cheek.
That wasn’t strange. That night, after going through a near-death experience together and suffering to the point of death, we had shaken off the old grudges of our feelings.
Our feelings were now exactly the same, and we didn’t feel any aversion or threat to each other.
That was probably why I realized belatedly that his gaze had completely changed from before, that his gaze and face had become stern.
Prince Kydel’s face slowly approached me. I instinctively tried to move my head back, but it was impossible because his hand wrapped tightly around the back of my head. Even when a warm feeling spread from our lips that had touched, I didn’t know what was happening.
He pulled away from our long-touched lips and looked at my wide-open, unfocused eyes for a moment before approaching me again.
When our long-touched lips parted slightly once more, I thought that it was okay to breathe now. My mind was already empty, so that was the only thought I could have.
In the meantime, my lips opened again, and I felt him moving gently. Along with the slightly acrid taste of soot, I felt the flames that had been extinguished earlier simmering in my mouth.
“...”
After a while, Prince Kydel rested his forehead on mine and sighed. It was a deep, deep sigh.
I opened my eyes, panting lightly.
‘Just now...’
The purple eyes directed at me were emitting a strange and intense light. I realized that it was the lust of a man named Locard Kydel.
As I stared at it, I smiled madly. It was because I could not accept what I had done.
'I guess I must die now. I have violated Prince Kydel.'
However, Prince Locard Kydel was a shameless and remorseless person from birth. He was even aggressive.
He sighed and came closer again. I pushed his chest hard and held on.
He spoke very softly, threateningly.
“It’s not enough.”
“No, no, no, sir.”
“I know. I know, so take your hand away.”
“This is inappropriate...”
Prince Kydel’s lips were inappropriate, but so were my hands.
My hands, not knowing whether to push or pull his shoulders, wandered here and there, and eventually patted his back.
***
I don’t remember how time passed. When I came to, the sun was high in the sky.
While I was washing my face in the stream, washing the soot off my face, Prince Kydel was lying on the grass where we were, stretching out his limbs. He looked so listless.
My lips felt slightly swollen, my mind was clouded, and my fingertips were heavy from exhaustion.
‘Is this what it feels like to commit a sin? What should I do now?’
I sat there dumbfounded, then came to my senses at the sound of Prince Kydel washing his face next to me. As he shook his ebony hair, water droplets scattered and sparkled in all directions. He really was showing off like a grain of rice. Even the sunlight and water droplets helped him with that.
I gathered all the reasons I had and spoke as coolly as I could.
“Your Excellency, what happened earlier was a mistake. You think so too, don’t you?”
“...”
“Let’s forget it cleanly like adults. Isn’t it the virtue of an adult to stand up after a mistake?”
“...”
“Did you hear what I just said?”
“Mistake?”
“Yes. Then is there another way to call it? We almost died, we were exhausted, and... we were just confused for a moment..."
Prince Kydel then let water droplets fall from the tips of his hair and laughed viciously.
I got goosebumps all over my body at that sight.
“Mistake? Is that the justice you give?”
“That...”
He strode over and looked down at me with his tall stature as if he was going to devour me.
“Lady Lorisha Loire. Shall I check again? Is it a mistake or not?”
“Oh, Your Excellency!”
“Our actions may have been inappropriate. But don’t call them mistakes. They were completely real.”
I almost cried out.
“A, an act!”
Prince Kydel grabbed my shoulder and pulled me up. It was the first time I felt so light.
I was so surprised that I froze.
He gritted his teeth at me, as if he wanted to threaten the pirates he had not been able to.
“I’m a little busy right now, Lady Lorisha. I have to make His Highness Grayon the Crown Prince. So, until I say it’s okay, stay right where you are. Understood! Trust me!”
“Yes? Yes...?”
“Answer!”
“Yes... uh.”
My answer was a delicate balance between answer and question.
But it sounded like an answer, and Prince Kydel almost hugged me, supporting my back and straightening my clothes that were rumpled because of him with his other hand.
And he strode away alone, shouting,
“A mistake? Damn it, if this is a mistake, what in the world isn’t a mistake!”
I couldn’t be left alone in the forest. I looked around and followed him with a sob.
***
The palace didn’t know what had happened to me. I was supposed to have returned from Misha’s coming-of-age party.
Despite such a huge incident, my peaceful daily life continued, and I began to feel like what had happened that night was a lie.
There was still no news about the competition from the palace, and Misha didn’t contact me, as if she were really upset.
I didn’t go to the backyard and stayed in my room.
Whenever I stayed in my room, I felt a burning sensation on my lips. At such times, my whole body felt hot, and I felt scared and wanted to run away somewhere.
Suddenly, Prince Kydel’s threats tormented me.
'Just stay still...'
But as time went by, that state of panic gradually became bearable.
Perhaps we had a 'real' kiss as he said, and that moment was true.
That moment, that feeling, that overwhelming feeling.
It was true. But Prince Kydel was probably just faithful to that moment.
He had no reason to feel any obligation or responsibility to me. There was no reason for me to think of him as special.
We each had our own masters, and our lives had completely different directions.
I am the tutor who prepares for a comfortable retirement, and he is the first lion who will take charge of the empire by His Majesty, the next Emperor.
I am glad that I made no mistakes in my relationship with him. If I am a little smarter than others, it is useful in this kind of situation.
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