Episode 71. Lorisha's Dream
His voice was dull.
What the hell. Why did I throw the cushion at that time?
"No, no. I'm sorry. I was just trying to close the window..."
Prince Kydel, who had entered the room, tried to keep his expression in check and coughed in vain.
It seemed like he was trying not to show me his displeasure, but the more he did, the more I felt like I was sitting on a bed of thorns.
He was the one who saved me today, and I was treating him like this. How ungrateful must he think I am?
"Haa."
I suddenly felt tired. The fatigue from being hit, the fatigue from waiting for him, and the fatigue from this embarrassing situation...
When I sighed so hard that the ground collapsed, he approached me with a beautiful frown.
A beautiful frown, that person can do that.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm alive."
I answered dully and shook my head again.
“No, I survived thanks to you, Prince. Also... Her Majesty the Empress really seemed like she was going to finish me off earlier.”
When I muttered hesitantly, Prince Kydel’s expression also darkened.
“I came forward because I was afraid that might happen, so please don’t misinterpret it as something else.”
I was about to say, “What on earth are you trying to get from me later on, that you’re doing this to me?” but my words were cut off by the word ‘unavoidable.’
When I sighed so hard that the ground collapsed, he approached me with a beautiful frown.
A beautiful frown, that person can do that.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm alive."
I answered dully and shook my head again.
“No, I survived thanks to you, Prince. Also... Her Majesty the Empress really seemed like she was going to finish me off earlier.”
When I muttered hesitantly, Prince Kydel’s expression also darkened.
“I came forward because I was afraid that might happen, so please don’t misinterpret it as something else.”
I was about to say, “What on earth are you trying to get from me later on, that you’re doing this to me?” but my words were cut off by the word ‘unavoidable.’
“Anyway, thank you.”
He didn’t seem to be satisfied with my ‘anyway,’ but he nodded slightly and accepted my greeting.
When he did that, his behavior was really polite, but why did he usually do such incomprehensible things?
Only then did he glance over my bed, and I instinctively pulled the blanket down to my chin. Then he also seemed a little embarrassed and avoided eye contact.
“Should I bring you a cushion?”
“Oh, yes. Please.”
He brought a cushion and was about to offer it to me, but he just hugged it and sat on the chair next to my bed.
...I wouldn’t throw it anywhere even if I accepted it.
“His Majesty has had two private meetings with Ambassador Agael. It seems like a deal will be made.”
“Ah...”
Prince Kydel’s gaze fixed on me made me feel like a hole was being drilled into my face. So I looked at the ceiling and the wall for no reason.
“May I ask for an explanation about this matter?”
“As you can see...”
“Miss Loire.”
I blurted out at his scolding tone.
“I told the Princess to object... She replied that Agael was an enemy country and that we should take both the military and domestic demand into account.”
“...”
“But right before the competition began, His Highness Orl whispered to Her Highness Miliora. Her Highness Miliora seemed shocked.”
“His Highness Orl scratched Her Highness’s pride.”
“I think so. So I was like, ‘Ugh!’ and...”
I said honestly, without realizing it.
“I really don’t know what to do.”
“...”
Prince Kydel, who would normally have responded to me, was quiet. When I glanced at him, he was staring at me.
He didn’t seem to be satisfied with my ‘anyway,’ but he nodded slightly and accepted my greeting.
When he did that, his behavior was really polite, but why did he usually do such incomprehensible things?
Only then did he glance over my bed, and I instinctively pulled the blanket down to my chin. Then he also seemed a little embarrassed and avoided eye contact.
“Should I bring you a cushion?”
“Oh, yes. Please.”
He brought a cushion and was about to offer it to me, but he just hugged it and sat on the chair next to my bed.
...I wouldn’t throw it anywhere even if I accepted it.
“His Majesty has had two private meetings with Ambassador Agael. It seems like a deal will be made.”
“Ah...”
Prince Kydel’s gaze fixed on me made me feel like a hole was being drilled into my face. So I looked at the ceiling and the wall for no reason.
“May I ask for an explanation about this matter?”
“As you can see...”
“Miss Loire.”
I blurted out at his scolding tone.
“I told the Princess to object... She replied that Agael was an enemy country and that we should take both the military and domestic demand into account.”
“...”
“But right before the competition began, His Highness Orl whispered to Her Highness Miliora. Her Highness Miliora seemed shocked.”
“His Highness Orl scratched Her Highness’s pride.”
“I think so. So I was like, ‘Ugh!’ and...”
I said honestly, without realizing it.
“I really don’t know what to do.”
“...”
Prince Kydel, who would normally have responded to me, was quiet. When I glanced at him, he was staring at me.
His expression seemed to be both disliking me and being dumbfounded.
“It’s not easy to adapt to Tagar’s temperament, Miss Loire.”
“Yes. I realized it after being hit with a cane about forty times.”
I laughed awkwardly, and he furrowed his brows even more.
What a handsome face he has for such an untimely moment.
When I looked away, feeling discouraged, he straightened his face and said jokingly,
“You said you had a meal with His Highness Grayon?”
When I sighed deeply, he looked at me strangely.
“Come to think of it, I’m on the verge of death every day. I wonder if I’ll be able to survive here like this...”
“What will you do when you leave the palace?”
I looked at him with a lonely smile.
“It’s a secret.”
“I’m sure you're not a herbalist. I want to know that secret, too.”
Normally, I would have been furious at his provocation, but today, I was so tired that I could only laugh.
“I’ll tell you where to go. You should come collect your debt.”
He stretched out his long legs and crossed his ankles. It was a gesture that let his guard down, as if he were resting in his own room.
He was my savior, but we weren’t friends, so I felt annoyed at how he was so comfortable.
He asked,
“Don’t you regret coming to the palace?”
“I don’t really want to answer that.”
“Please cut off a little bit of my debt.”
“Wow. You’re so cruel.”
“I’m like that.”
I sighed.
“I think about that a lot, too. What am I doing here?”
He chuckled.
I’ve always envied the composure in that smile, and the kind of strength I’ve yet to experience, although I don’t know how to explain it.
“But the reason I hold on is ultimately one thing. To prepare for old age.”
When I opened my mouth, Prince Kydel’s eyes sparkled. Then, when I said “old age,” his forehead furrowed.
Well, what would you know? He already had enough fame and fortune to last his grandchildren.
“...Old age?”
“The only jobs an unmarried woman can do alone are being a nun or a tutor. I chose the latter because I’m not close to God. A tutor who was a maid gets the best treatment, right? That should compensate for my weakness as an illegitimate child...”
“Aha.”
Only then did I realize that I had kept it a secret and let it all out. But my mouth was still trembling.
“I dream of becoming like Teacher Julia.”
“Teacher Julia?”
“She’s the one who made me... She’s also single. She’s so talented. She’s really a ‘wonderful woman’.”
When I nodded strongly and affirmed, he laughed silently.
When I saw that, my face suddenly turned red with embarrassment.
Why am I rambling like this...
When I thought about it, I remembered that Director Royman had mixed some strong painkillers. That has the side effect of making people drowsy.
What the hell!
“Why don’t you get married?”
“An illegitimate child of a prestigious noble. The life of a child like that is obvious. At best, a second wife of a rich noble... An illegitimate child is the most unjust crime in the world, Your Excellency.”
“...”
I thought Prince Kydel would at least make a small objection. I thought that someone at the top of the imperial food chain would be grateful for a mere illegitimate child’s marriage.
But he didn’t say anything.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t think of anything to say in return, but it felt like a silence that came from understanding what I hated.
How strong a dose did the director make the medicine?
Prince Kydel said.
“Then you’ve chosen a pretty good job.”
“...Ah.”
I added sheepishly, looking down at my bandaged leg that I couldn’t move.
“But I’m not sure right now. Won’t I be kicked out when my leg gets better?”
I tried to speak brightly, but Prince Kydel shook his head.
“Her Majesty the Empress and the Princess were the ones who accepted you as a maid in the first place. They won’t change their decision now. Unless you step down on your own.”
“Should I be happy or scared...?”
“It’s better to be moderately scared.”
“I’m already really scared, but more than this?”
“You can take a little more. That way you’ll be like a normal person.”
“...”
He got up from his seat when I made a blank face, as if he was telling me that I had no fear.
“I’ll close the window and go, so don’t get up.”
That was a joke too.
He was talking nonsense, so I started talking nonsense too.
“What would have happened if the Prince hadn’t been born in the Kydel family? If I look at your window-climbing skills, you would have made a name for yourself even as a thief.”
Then his steps suddenly stopped. And I was frightened as he told me to do.
‘Was I being too harsh?’
But he muttered to himself and opened the window, and went out. His voice was like gnashing his teeth.
“His Highness Grayen said the same thing. It’s all because of him!”
I fell asleep as I heard the window click shut. I couldn’t help but laugh.
I closed my eyes and thought,
‘Next time, I’ll definitely ask him to reduce the painkiller...
After visiting Lorisha, Locard headed straight to Grayon. Grayon reprimanded him sharply as soon as he saw him.
“What are you doing wandering around? You lost to an illegitimate child! You’ve lost twice in a row, Locard.”
Locard scratched his forehead and frowned.
“That’s right. Two consecutive losses.”
Grayon was even angrier at that calm response. That damn composure. Normally, it was admirable composure, but at times like this, it only made people’s anger boil over.
As Locard sat down across from him, Grayon gritted his teeth and said,
“It seems that negotiations with the Agael envoy are being made. His Majesty has ordered Count Loire to review it.”
Grayon glared at Locard and said,
“Could it be that the third lion gave her a hint? To shake up this competition?”
“Do you really think that Count Loire supports Her Highness Milliora?”
I said, but thinking about it, it was ridiculous, so Grayon snorted and leaned back against the backrest.
“What are you doing, leaving me alone at this important time?”
“I took a walk. To collect my thoughts.”
“So, have you collected your thoughts?”
Locard asked himself.
‘What have I collected?’
His role in this situation was no longer there. It was especially annoying that his plan to use the iron ore rights as bait had been thwarted by Lorisha.
But why wasn’t he angry?
He had no choice but to climb over Lorisha’s window once again. He wanted to check on her safety, but he also had to resolve his own issues.
When Locard saw the battered Lorisha, he felt anger and a strange emotion rising up at the same time.
“It’s not easy to adapt to Tagar’s temperament, Miss Loire.”
“Yes. I realized it after being hit with a cane about forty times.”
I laughed awkwardly, and he furrowed his brows even more.
What a handsome face he has for such an untimely moment.
When I looked away, feeling discouraged, he straightened his face and said jokingly,
“You said you had a meal with His Highness Grayon?”
When I sighed deeply, he looked at me strangely.
“Come to think of it, I’m on the verge of death every day. I wonder if I’ll be able to survive here like this...”
“What will you do when you leave the palace?”
I looked at him with a lonely smile.
“It’s a secret.”
“I’m sure you're not a herbalist. I want to know that secret, too.”
Normally, I would have been furious at his provocation, but today, I was so tired that I could only laugh.
“I’ll tell you where to go. You should come collect your debt.”
He stretched out his long legs and crossed his ankles. It was a gesture that let his guard down, as if he were resting in his own room.
He was my savior, but we weren’t friends, so I felt annoyed at how he was so comfortable.
He asked,
“Don’t you regret coming to the palace?”
“I don’t really want to answer that.”
“Please cut off a little bit of my debt.”
“Wow. You’re so cruel.”
“I’m like that.”
I sighed.
“I think about that a lot, too. What am I doing here?”
He chuckled.
I’ve always envied the composure in that smile, and the kind of strength I’ve yet to experience, although I don’t know how to explain it.
“But the reason I hold on is ultimately one thing. To prepare for old age.”
When I opened my mouth, Prince Kydel’s eyes sparkled. Then, when I said “old age,” his forehead furrowed.
Well, what would you know? He already had enough fame and fortune to last his grandchildren.
“...Old age?”
“The only jobs an unmarried woman can do alone are being a nun or a tutor. I chose the latter because I’m not close to God. A tutor who was a maid gets the best treatment, right? That should compensate for my weakness as an illegitimate child...”
“Aha.”
Only then did I realize that I had kept it a secret and let it all out. But my mouth was still trembling.
“I dream of becoming like Teacher Julia.”
“Teacher Julia?”
“She’s the one who made me... She’s also single. She’s so talented. She’s really a ‘wonderful woman’.”
When I nodded strongly and affirmed, he laughed silently.
When I saw that, my face suddenly turned red with embarrassment.
Why am I rambling like this...
When I thought about it, I remembered that Director Royman had mixed some strong painkillers. That has the side effect of making people drowsy.
What the hell!
“Why don’t you get married?”
“An illegitimate child of a prestigious noble. The life of a child like that is obvious. At best, a second wife of a rich noble... An illegitimate child is the most unjust crime in the world, Your Excellency.”
“...”
I thought Prince Kydel would at least make a small objection. I thought that someone at the top of the imperial food chain would be grateful for a mere illegitimate child’s marriage.
But he didn’t say anything.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t think of anything to say in return, but it felt like a silence that came from understanding what I hated.
How strong a dose did the director make the medicine?
Prince Kydel said.
“Then you’ve chosen a pretty good job.”
“...Ah.”
I added sheepishly, looking down at my bandaged leg that I couldn’t move.
“But I’m not sure right now. Won’t I be kicked out when my leg gets better?”
I tried to speak brightly, but Prince Kydel shook his head.
“Her Majesty the Empress and the Princess were the ones who accepted you as a maid in the first place. They won’t change their decision now. Unless you step down on your own.”
“Should I be happy or scared...?”
“It’s better to be moderately scared.”
“I’m already really scared, but more than this?”
“You can take a little more. That way you’ll be like a normal person.”
“...”
He got up from his seat when I made a blank face, as if he was telling me that I had no fear.
“I’ll close the window and go, so don’t get up.”
That was a joke too.
He was talking nonsense, so I started talking nonsense too.
“What would have happened if the Prince hadn’t been born in the Kydel family? If I look at your window-climbing skills, you would have made a name for yourself even as a thief.”
Then his steps suddenly stopped. And I was frightened as he told me to do.
‘Was I being too harsh?’
But he muttered to himself and opened the window, and went out. His voice was like gnashing his teeth.
“His Highness Grayen said the same thing. It’s all because of him!”
I fell asleep as I heard the window click shut. I couldn’t help but laugh.
I closed my eyes and thought,
‘Next time, I’ll definitely ask him to reduce the painkiller...
***
After visiting Lorisha, Locard headed straight to Grayon. Grayon reprimanded him sharply as soon as he saw him.
“What are you doing wandering around? You lost to an illegitimate child! You’ve lost twice in a row, Locard.”
Locard scratched his forehead and frowned.
“That’s right. Two consecutive losses.”
Grayon was even angrier at that calm response. That damn composure. Normally, it was admirable composure, but at times like this, it only made people’s anger boil over.
As Locard sat down across from him, Grayon gritted his teeth and said,
“It seems that negotiations with the Agael envoy are being made. His Majesty has ordered Count Loire to review it.”
Grayon glared at Locard and said,
“Could it be that the third lion gave her a hint? To shake up this competition?”
“Do you really think that Count Loire supports Her Highness Milliora?”
I said, but thinking about it, it was ridiculous, so Grayon snorted and leaned back against the backrest.
“What are you doing, leaving me alone at this important time?”
“I took a walk. To collect my thoughts.”
“So, have you collected your thoughts?”
Locard asked himself.
‘What have I collected?’
His role in this situation was no longer there. It was especially annoying that his plan to use the iron ore rights as bait had been thwarted by Lorisha.
But why wasn’t he angry?
He had no choice but to climb over Lorisha’s window once again. He wanted to check on her safety, but he also had to resolve his own issues.
When Locard saw the battered Lorisha, he felt anger and a strange emotion rising up at the same time.
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